Jasons POV
It had been an hour since we left the hotel. Since Tim had a fight with his brother. Since I saw the light dim in his eyes. I was still trying to process everything that happened.
When Tim walked out of that room, tears streaming down his cheeks and a broken look in his eyes, I wanted to cry. It broke my heart. A heart that I had kept stoic and locked away for so long.
Yet, his expression had me losing my mind. Racing to try and fix the cause of his pain, because all I wanted was to see his smile again.
Getting him back to my house had been top priority. He was in so much pain internally and it scared the hell out of me. Whatever Dick said to him had inevitably pushed him over the edge. Weirher it was on purpose or not.
I'd seen people have breakdowns before. It happens quite often in the life I live. But this, this was heart wrenching. I had wished so badly that it was me feeling that pain and not him. That it was me getting drug down into a mind numbing darkness.
Tim was too precious for anything like this. Too precious to me. I knew that for certain. It still terrified me how fast I had grown attached to him.
The way he smiled and laughed. His perfect hair and eyes. The feel of his body next to mine, heating me up on the inside.
I still didn't understand any of this. In less than 24 hours, he had trapped me under him. Albeit willingly and without complaint. And I knew without a doubt in my mind, I was wrapped firmly around his finger.
I watched him lay sleeping in my bed. His body curled up as he hugged himself. When he passed out, I immediately brought him to my room, hoping my scent would calm his mind.
He was relaxed now and laying peacefully as he breathed evenly, but I still found myself fixated on his chest, watching for any hiccups or signs at all that he was in distress.
A knock on the door brought me back to reality and I took a deep breath, blinking a few times and leaning back in my chair before finally pulling my eyes from Tim's form to answer. "Come in."
Roy walked in, a concerned look in his own eyes and the first aid kit tucked into his right. He glanced at me then looked over at Tim as he made his way over to the bed "Hey, how's he doin?"
Turning back to Tim, I sighed out, wondering just how to answer that question. I really didn't know how he was. "Asleep." I shrugged. It was the only response that I knew to be true. "But, I'm hoping when he wakes up, he will-" I shook my head. I really didn't know what I was hoping for.
Maybe for him to be okay. I knew he wasn't. Obviously. Maybe I just hoped he'd feel better at least. I knew though, whatever Dick said to him would still be affecting him, so maybe I hoped he wouldn't remember.
Roy's hand touched my shoulder and I slumped back into the chair, rubbing my face as he spoke. "I brought this for his arms." He held the first aid kit up. "Carla said they looked pretty bad when you brought him inside." He grimaced and so did I, remembering the blood.
Glancing up at Roy from between my fingers I sighed out heavily before lowering my hands to my lap and turned my head to focus on Tim again.
I had, as carefully as I could, washed the blood away from his forearms, but 4 crescent shape punctures were left in each arm. I hated that they were there, acting as a reminder of what had happened.
"Yeah, he uh...he did that while I was driving...I don't know what came over him. Whatever his brother said, it really messed him up." Sighing in defeat I grabbed the kit from Riys outstretched, setting it on the bed beside Tim.
I searched for some antibiotic cream and grabbed a bandage for each arm. Once I found everything I needed I carefully took one of his arms in my hands and got to work.
As I started to apply the cream, I noticed just how pale his skin was compared to mine. He had told me he worked a lot though, so maybe he just wasn't outside very often. I told myself I needed to change that. Get him outside more and into nature.
Bringing my attention back to his wounds, I just gingerly massaged the cream in, before wrapping the white bandage over them a few times. Just enough to cover the marks then repeated the action, doing the same with the other arm.
I heard Roy sigh softly and noticed he was over by the door again. He'd never been much good with blood, so I didn't question it. He was one of my best men, but everyone had their quirks.
Once I finished, I turned to him. "Thanks. Can you get his things from my car? A blue bag and his phone. He'll probably want that when he wakes up." I didn't wait for an answer as I turned back to Tim, tucking his arms under the covers. "Yeah. Be right back." I heard the door open and close as he left.
I leaned back in the chair again and just watched Tim sleep. I thought back to how his younger brother had acted. He looked utterly confused at us. At the way I treated Tim. It started me thinking, had he been hurt that badly in the past? Obviously the hate for physical contact was brought on by something. Right?
I was still wondering, out of anyone he could have met, why was my touch, the one that he accepted?
I sighed out slowly, leaning forward to rest my elbows on my knees. "You're confusing the hell out of me, Tim. You have no idea what you do to me." My voice was oddly soft as I brought a hand up, running my fingers through his hair.
His nose twitched slightly and I paused, leaving my hand still on the top of his head, holding his hair out of his eyes.
His nose twitched again before he was slowly stretching, letting out a soft groan as he did. His muscles went tense for a moment, before relaxing completely as he opened his eyes.
He still looked slightly dazed and out of it, but when he caught my gaze I just smiled. "Hey, how do you feel?" I moved my hand again, just playing with his hair now.
He seemed to be thinking over my question, trying to remember what had happened. Suddenly, his expression hardened and he sucked in a sharp breath. "Hurt." He tore his eyes from mine, looking up at the ceiling.
Feeling a pang in my chest at his answer, I moved my hand to his cheek. My eyebrows knit together and I pressed my lips in a thin line. "I'm so sorry, baby. Do you...do you wanna talk about it?"
I had no idea if asking that was okay. Or if we were even to a point where he trusted me like that. But I felt like I needed to at least offer, just in case.
When he looked back at me, my face relaxed slightly as I gave him a small, reassuring smile. "Um...not yet...is...is that okay?" I felt myself nod immediately and move closer to him, placing a kiss on his forehead. "Baby that's more than okay. Just know, i'm here when you're ready."
I meant that. With every fiber of my being. I needed him to know I wasn't going anywhere. Not after what we'd been through. Not after how he affected me.
There were still more questions than answers bouncing around in my head, but we had time. I would make sure of that.
He let out a slow sigh of relief, before moving his hands up to his face, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. My gaze moved to the bandages on his arm and I bit my lip, watching as his gaze moved to them too.
He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and stared at them for a moment, before turning to me again. He opened his mouth, but his voice seemed caught in his throat.
I reached up, taking both his hands in mine and kissed the bandage on his right arm, then his left. "You weren't yourself, baby. The panic attack...it was a bad one. You were digging your nails into yourself and...broke the skin."
His eyes widened and I could see a hint of regret and embarrassment. "Baby, it's gonna be okay. You are so strong, I know it. I could tell you were fighting hard. And I'm gonna be here okay, no matter what, to help you through this."
I watched tears puddle in his eyes as he nodded, a shuddered gasp leaving his lips as I caressed his arms, gently placing another kiss to each.
"Whatever happens, Tim, i'm not gonna let it take you away from me. We both have a past, i'm sure of that, but it's brought us here, together. We can make it through this, mia Amore Rosso." A smile stretched across his face as a sob broke free from his mouth.
Suddenly, he was sitting up and pushing himself into my arms, wrapping his own around my neck. I felt my own tears now as I moved onto the bed, pulling him into my lap.
"I've got you now, Tim. Everythings gonna be okay." I felt him nod, as he nuzzled into my neck, gripping the back of my shirt intensely. I just held him, not daring to let go or move. He needed this. And so did I.
When Roy walked back in, he eyed us momentarily, before smiling and just setting Tim's stuff on the dresser. He gave me one more reassuring look, before leaving. I swore he looked like a proud parent.
Roy knew better than anyone how grim my past was, and I knew he was comforted at the fact that I had found someone to love like this. Someone to actually have in my life to hold and take care of.
It was a big change from my normal relationships, if you could even call them that, but I was determined to make this one different.
To love this one.
To loved him.
That thought rang out in my mind, making me pull Tim closer greedily, protectively. It may have only been a day, but somehow, I knew that thought wasn't wrong. I wasn't ready to say it outloud just yet, and didn't know when I would be, but I knew it wasn't premature.
Tim had caused my emotions to move at a dizzying rate. Making me feel things I never thought I would. So I knew, as much as it scared the shit out of me, I did love him. I would take care of him. This time would be different. This time would be better.