"Where are you going so late?" Aunt Youngshin yelled as she followed me right to the main door. I ignored her and tied my shoelaces hastily, trying my best to not explode at her.
"To run. I'll be back at midnight." I hopped to my feet and scrambled out the door, hearing her last words before I slammed it shut.
"But that's two hours from now! Where are you-"
I strayed as far away from my house until I couldn't hear her anymore, before heaving out a loud sigh. Sorry, Aunt Youngshin, any longer and I would've taken it out on you.
Stretching just my quads, I started sprinting down the street at full speed, letting the wind engulf my whole body as my legs took the lead.
Youn's words from before still haven't found their way out of my head and it was driving me up the wall, so I figured the only way to get rid of them and all the other thoughts in my head was to drain it all out. By running.
I took a different route this time, one that was longer but still ended at the same place. I didn't know how long it'll take for me to find peace, and the trip up to the beach would only take about 10 minutes even if I walked. That was definitely not enough time.
The other route was darker as it went deeper into the suburbs, but it still included the view of the sea that distracted me for the time being. Well, only until I turned a corner and all I saw were closed shops and flickering street lamps.
Usually, these areas would make me paranoid, but that was probably the last thing on my mind at the moment. In fact, there was nothing on my mind, and I liked it that way.
The chirping of the crickets by the bushes, the sound of my shoes impacting the ground, the voice of the breeze that whispered into my ear as I glided past emptied my mind instantly. Feeling the cool air blow-dry the sweat on my skin was refreshing and I soon immersed myself into the silence of the night, letting my mind get lost in the rhythm of my footsteps.
It had been long since I felt this relaxed, so much it almost felt weird. All the happenings that took place so far felt so distant, like it had been locked up and thrown into the bottomless pit. Like I hadn't been here in the first place.
Maybe that's it. Maybe coming here was a choice I shouldn't have made. Hyojin was right; if I stayed in Seoul and continued training like I used to, I wouldn't be stuck here in this hell hole being tortured in all directions because of my difference. If I had just opened my eyes to see my weaknesses, I wouldn't have made this dumb choice.
A familiar place came into view as I slowed down, the alluring scenery bringing me back to reality. Just a few more weeks. A few more weeks and I'm out.
I strolled mindlessly towards the beach. Finally, the whole place to myself. Somewhere that I could stop thinking about anything and indulge in this peaceful haven without any disturbances. Except for the person at the corner of my eye.
Wait, what?
I whipped my head around to the person approaching in another direction, meeting their eyes as I widened mine in horror. Great, just great.
"You look like you've seen a ghost, you're all pale," Donghyuck teased. He peered closer at the face hiding under my hoodie, his expression falling immediately. "Were you crying?"
I snapped back to reality and looked away, not bothering to wipe the tear stains off my face. "No. I want to be alone right now." I marched towards the sea, but the footsteps trampling down behind me told me he wouldn't let me.
"I didn't come here to accompany you," he retorted, but I was too fatigued to give a response. Both the running and the inconsistent crying had me drained from head to toe, and I couldn't afford to accommodate anything else.
I plopped down along the shoreline, pulling up my knees so my arms could rest on them. I wanted to fall asleep right there and then, but who knew where I'd get washed up to when I wake up. Maybe that was a better choice.
I closed my eyes anyway, but a movement beside me made me flick them back open. What the heck. I left him alone when he needed to, but now he's not doing the same? Gosh, do I need to tell him this too-
"I thought I said to leave me alone!" I exploded, whipping my head to the person seated beside me, except there was no one. Did I hear a ghost? I darted my eyes around, looking for the source of the movement only for them to land on a boy a few feet away, who was shuffling around on the sand. I couldn't have felt more embarrassed.
"And I am." Donghyuck didn't spare me a glance as he answered, and that's when I finally registered what he was doing. I waited for further explanation, but I guess I had to ask for it myself too. "What the heck are you doing?"
He was quiet for a while, shifting here and there and throwing in some kicks as well, causing the sand particles to fly around. Finally, he opened his mouth and panted, "Shadow sparring, I'm surprised you don't recognise it. It helps with a lot of things; technique planning, stamina training, footwork etcetera. But it also helps to relieve stress."
He eventually stopped and looked at me, a glint of light reflecting off his eyes and making them sparkle. "Which, apparently, you look like you need it."
I let out a scoff in response to his ridiculous offer. "Forget it." I hugged my knees towards my chest, resting my chin on them and gazed at the sea.
"Suit yourself. Wait till you suffocate from the pent-up frustration in you and die right there." From past experiences, it would be wise to ignore these types of comments, but even the shuffling on the sand sounded utterly infuriating at this point in time. I was at my limit.
"And who'd you think is responsible for this?" I blurted out, holding in my bubbling anger as my words tumbled out my mouth unstably. "Who's the one who started contributing my pent-up frustration?"
I felt his gaze land on me, but I was so caught up in my wrath that I didn't bother to look. He's gonna pull that oh it helped you so you have to thank me stunt again, and no way I was gonna hear it once more. Before he could talk, I continued, "You never meant to help me, I know it. You just needed an excuse to vent your problems on, and of course, the new kid was always the target."
I gulped back my saliva to prevent my voice from cracking; I already sounded pathetic enough. "I don't care if you undermine my skills. I deserve the most amount of criticism for my lack of awareness and definitely have lots to improve on, but depreciating my hard work? You don't know what it feels like to have your efforts pounded to the ground just because it didn't leave an effect on your opponent."
I glanced towards him momentarily. "Of course, someone like you won't understand."
I expected him to grab me by the collar and beat the shit out of me after that sentence because that was probably the most normal thing he would've done and I would've accepted it. In fact, I would let him knock me out and dump me in the ocean. But what I didn't expect was an ominously calm reply.
"I know," he exhaled loudly, "I know it too well."
As if his sudden acquiescence didn't stump me more than enough, his footsteps grew louder as I glimpsed at his shadow drawing closer to me, causing me to recoil straight away. He stopped right beside me but remained standing, letting out another sigh.
"I'll ignore the belittling part, because no explanation would get through that stubborn head of yours," he started as I held myself back from kneeing him. "But the part about efforts? I've definitely experienced worst than you."
I snarled at his horrendous excuse, "Are you turning this into another competition? Then you win, if that's what you want so badly."
I heard a weight shift beside me as his voice was finally at my altitude. "Think all you want. Just so you know, it's not the end of the world if one person doesn't see your talent."
My face softened as his words resonated in my head. I hugged my legs tighter and grumbled into my knees, "What do you know?"
There was a short silence between us, and I almost thought I crossed the line again. But with a sigh, Donghyuck started again, "You overheard the phone call with my father, that practically tells you everything."
When I didn't answer, he continued exasperatedly, "Youn only diminished your efforts once, but my dad does it to me every second of the day. When I come back from running, he says I didn't sweat enough. When I come home from training, he says I don't have enough bruises. When I come home from competitions, he says my opponents cut me too much slack. Who wouldn't get pissed by that?"
He ended that sentence with a growl, but I knew that was just the beginning.
"Of course, the only right thing to do was to train even harder to do better at every competition, to clinch every gold possible and shove it right into his face, right? That's what I thought would get him to finally notice my competency, but guess what? He said I was lucky. No matter how much I trained, I was never up to his standards."
I could sense the bitterness and anger through his gritted teeth, but he managed to contain it all in words. On the other hand, I still didn't get what he was trying to say. I have bigger problems than you so shut up and deal with it. Yeah, that was probably it.
"Get to the point."
"That was it."
Both our eyes met as we exchanged confused looks filled with frustration. For me, it was because I didn't get it. "What the hell?"
He rolled his tongue around his cheek, chuckling in disbelief. "Didn't you hear a word I said? Gosh, you need to train your listening comprehension skills."
"And you need to train your storytelling skills," I retorted back, returning to the very much needed silence, except now it was invaded by an unwanted presence. So much for being alone.
"Look, newbie-" he cut himself short as if he said something wrong, clearing his throat and continued, "Yoojin, I'm saying you shouldn't be buried under one's words. I used my dad's words as a drive to improve, and that's what you initially did too. So why are you letting someone else's words affect you now?"
Because I believed you were helping me. I didn't dare say it out because I didn't have the guts to. I don't need this to be another one of my many weaknesses that have been pointed out too many times. I looked away, biting my lip in case my mind decided to take control again.
Donghyuck seemed to have given up as he sighed deadly beside me, standing up and dusting his pants and causing some of the sand to fall on me. "Whatever, you're hopeless. I'm going to continue with my own training, join if you want to get it together."
I heard him shuffle away before slowly turning my head in his direction. He was back at where he was before, continuing with his shadow sparring like nothing ever happened. But I've got to say, he has a talent for leaving a mark in someone.
Don't comply, Yoojin, your pride is at stake, was the only thing repeating inside my head as I contemplated on his now intriguing offer. If I ever joined him, it wasn't because he convinced me or that he was right; it was because I had nothing better to do.
Oh, whatever.
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i had to cut the chapter cuz it was too long so i hope it didnt sound weird.
also, i seem to be commenting more here but i kinda like it :) except for the fact that it makes my format ugly