smoke | namgi

By vickie_org

124K 5K 2.9K

tw: smoking, college pregnancy, depression, body image issues, financial problems yoongi is left pregnant as... More

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epilogue
thank you!

forty-two

1.3K 58 18
By vickie_org

tw: mentions of abuse, living with addicts

"what happened with that parent you went on a date with?" hoseok asked as he ate lunch with namjoon. he was a prek teacher as well.

namjoon didn't eat lunch with minji because minji had left for a therapy session, "it went well, he's a good dude. he's shy" namjoon said, a small smile on display, "that smile. you're whipped" hoseok chuckled, namjoon smiled wider, hiding his face with his hands.

"he's cute alright but there's something about him that i don't really like" namjoon said, the smile fading a bit, hoseok raised a brow as he ate, "what is it?"

namjoon sighed, "he's a cigarette addict, you know i can't handle addicts" namjoon said, hoseok looked at namjoon with a frown.

namjoon didn't have a good childhood to say the least. his whole life, he was surrounded by addicts. his dad was cigarette addict and his mom was an alcohol addict.

he was always cleaning the broken glass bottles of alcohol that his mom threw when she got drunk. his dad simply didn't care about him or his mom and often left namjoon to take care of him.

his mom would yell at him for every problem she encountered. it left the poor child traumatized and scared.

his father made namjoon grow up by himself, he sometimes forced the young boy to go beg people on the streets for money for cigarettes. namjoon ended up traumatized from all this.

"is he trying to recover from his addiction?" hoseok asked, namjoon sighed and shrugged, "he does have a daughter so im guessing yes" namjoon said, it didn't mean that the fact wasn't triggering.

"i think i'm going home, i don't feel well" namjoon said, closing the lid on the container he had brought food in and standing up, "what happened?" hoseok asked, "i'll be fine, don't worry"

when namjoon got home, he cried into his pillow.

he had gone to therapy for his mental issues but it didn't mean that the trauma went away. it was still there and it still had an effect of him.

he wiped away his remaining tears and sighed, glaring at the mess in his bedroom. he decided he was going to clean up a bit.

he watered his plants and organized his bed before he moved on to clothes on the ground.

he found a baby blue shirt on the side of his bed. he wasn't sure if it was his or if it was a shirt he had borrowed from someone. his first instinct was to put it up close to his face.

he could smell the cigarettes which made him tense up with memories of his childhood. the shirt was definitely yoongi's.

he bit the inside of his mouth as he decided what to do, he wanted to throw it out but he shouldn't. he didn't want to have it in his house either. after some minutes, he decided on putting it in a plastic bag.

he did that and went to sleep. he just needed rest after a triggering day

"minji has been diagnosed with adhd" the therapist said before continuing what she was going to say, "we will like her to go to therapies that include many activities that she will enjoy to help her behavior" she said, minji wasn't paying attention. she was counting how many things she could see in the room.

"what comes after 20?" minji asked, the therapist smiled, "21. but sir min, do you have any questions or concerns?" the therapist asked, yoongi stared at the woman, "are you sure you diagnosed her right?" he asked in a small voice, "yup, otherwise, i wouldn't give her this diagnosis. i think it's very good we were able to detect it at a young age" she said, yoongi hummed and nodded.

he was scared and frustrated. he didn't want minji to be mentally ill as he was, "um, is she at risk of any other disorders?" he asked, "not that we know of" she said, yoongi showed a small smile and stared at his little girl.

he loved minji. she was growing up fast, time went by so fast. he could still remember the first time he held her at home. she was wrapped in a yellow blanket with a pink beanie and pink gloves so she wouldn't scratch her face.

"i didn't react as bad as i thought i would" yoongi said as he told seokjin about the girl's adhd diagnosis, "does she know?" seokjin asked, "yeah but she doesn't seem to care"

seokjin chuckled, "i'm glad she was able to get an early diagnosis. it explains a lot of her actions" he spoke, yoongi nodded, "i thought she was just stubborn" he said, staring off into space to think.

"what did the therapist say?" minji asked as she walked into the apartment with yoongi, "you have adhd" yoongi said, taking off his and minji's shoes when they stepped in the house, "what does that mean?" she asked, "you have a really cool and amazing mind. i think it's like a race car. it goes really fast but it goes too fast, faster than a regular person and that's why you might have trouble concentrating and doing certain things"

minji hummed, "does that mean i'm good? appa has adhd too, right?" minji asked, yoongi nodded and smiled, "mhm, adhd will need to get under control so you'll do special therapy for it" yoongi explained, seokjin watched from the kitchen, a smile on his face.

"you always know what to say. it's like you were made to be a parent" seokjin said, yoongi smiled, taking the girl into his arms and giving her a kiss on the forehead, "ahh, thank you seokjin hyung" he chuckled, "minji, if you ever have thoughts of hurting yourself or others, i need you to tell me, okay?" yoongi said, minji shrugged and nodded, "okay, you can go play now"

jungkook

heyy hyung

sooo

how's ur day??

yoongi

it's been pretty good actually

hbu

jungkook

it's been good

sooo

um

i have news?

yoongi

??

jungkook

so yk how ur on paid leave?

yoongi

yes??

jungkook

so um

yoongi

what are u trying to say

jungkook

yk how ur on paid leave and can be on it for a while?

yoongi

yes now get to the point

jungkook

the manager said she would fire you if you don't come back within two weeks because we're low on staff
(read at 6:36PM)

and just like that, the progress yoongi had made was gone. he was shaking and tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

he couldn't lose his job again, he really couldn't. he needed to provide for himself and minji but he mentally couldn't. he was constantly surrounded by people at work, he didn't know what he was going to do.

he was crying in the middle of his bedroom, door wide open which meant seokjin was there by the time he knew it, "yoongi, what's wrong?" seokjin asked, sitting by the bed.

"i-i might get fired if i don't attend work in 2 weeks" he frowned, tears flowing down his cheeks, "isn't that illegal?" seokjin asked, yoongi shrugged his shoulders.

"if you do get fired, there's other jobs that are willing to hire you. just take your time, you know i'm here for you" seokjin said, caressing yoongi's hair.

minji walked in the room, "i'm hungry" she said, yoongi laughed through his tears, minji was so random when people were having conversations and he finally knew why, "minji-ah, it's not very nice to interrupt when two people are talking" seokjin softly said, minji furrowed her brows, "but i'm not doing anything mean! i'm hungry!" she frowned, raising her voice.

"appa will make you food in a minute" yoongi said, wiping his remaining tears and masking a smile on his face for the sake of his daughter.

"you take a rest, i'll take care of it" seokjin said, yoongi shook his head and sighed, "i'll make some ramen cup or something" yoongi said, standing up from the bed he was sitting on heading towards the kitchen.

seokjin was left in the room to think. he hated seeing his best friend at such a low point in his mental health. he felt tears brim in his eyes and he ran to the bathroom to cry them out.

all he really wanted was for yoongi to be happy.

stay safe and healthy! drink water and eat some food! sorry for any mistakes, i love you all! qotd: what do you think yoongi should do about his addiction? what would you tell him?

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