Taehyung slightly pulled away with half-lidded eyes before quickly closing in for the last time, leaving me to swiftly respond to our second— no, third round of kissing.
He almost didn't let me breathe by the amount of force he was putting into the kiss. It was like he needed me, and wanted me to know that. It was the soft type of kiss that would awaken all the butterflies sleeping in tranquility.
His lips parted a little when he was out of breath, gasping for air. It was only then— staring into each other's eyes for no one knew how long.
"I.. uh, I have something to say," he spoke.
I bit my bottom lip and nodded, letting him say whatever he had to say.
"I like you. No— I really, really like you," he confessed.
Flustered, I didn't know how to respond, nor was I blinking. I had expected him to say that anyway but it suddenly felt like I couldn't pay more attention to any shits besides my palpitating heart.
And my clogged brain only came up with an:
"Um, well yeah? I guess I know that?"
"No, Rain."
I hysterically panicked. Is it not what I thought it is? Holy sh—
"I like you so fucking much it's starting to hurt."
What?
The increasing abnormal heartbeat only worsened as I digested his words. My chest bubbled up with nervousness.
"L-Like, as in a boy to a girl?" I asked only to confirm.
I couldn't incorporate what kind of expression he had on because I couldn't see his face. All the while, he was playing with my pinkie, fiddling it against his thumb and forefinger.
"A high school boy to a high school girl. A grown up boy to a grown up girl. Yes."
My face flushed from the embarrassment. He did not have to settle the words like that because I already knew.
"Thank you." Fuck.
"I like you a lot," he repeated.
I pursed my lips. I couldn't think of anything more to say and still hadn't recovered from the little shock.
Does he want me to give an answer now?
"But it fucking hurts because by doing this, Jimin will get hurt as well." His head hung low.
I opened my mouth to hum an 'oh' but then closed it back as I realised he didn't look too happy. In fact, he didn't look happy at all.
"Is it because he likes me?" I pulled my eyebrows together.
Taehyung slightly nodded as he took in a sharp breath before releasing through his clenched teeth.
"I have parents but it feels like I have no one besides Jimin. I don't want to lose a friend. Just living in this pathetic world makes me realise how lonely I am despite being surrounded by a lot of people."
His eyes screamed pain ; vulnerability, completely contradicting his usual bright selfhood.
And then his tears fell.
"I feel like I lost my parents when I never did. We are living in the same roof but I barely see them. Even if I do, it's always the sight of my father beating up my mother. They are so near and yet so far, and the more I chase, the further they seem.." he continued, his voice barely audible.
His fiddling on my fingers intensified, his gentle sobs getting slightly louder. My chest was starting to hurt too because I couldn't feel his pain. I could do nothing to help.
"Taehyung." I couldn't hold it anymore and went closer to embrace him. I used my fingertip to draw small circles on his back just to ease him.
"Am I selfish for liking you?" he whispered with cracked voice. "The universe gave me Jimin, and look how bad I've become for attempting to steal away the girl he likes. I'm the worst. I'm sorry."
"Shut up," I said and he stopped talking completely.
His usual high confidence had died down due to the lack amount of pride he was carrying with him right now.
Taehyung buried his face in the crook of my neck, him being much taller than me so I had to manage standing on tiptoes. It may seemed like an easy matter but I kind of understood his feelings.
He went through so much yet never dragged people into his own problems. He pretended to be tough and strong when he might be just as vulnerable as I was.
We are both suffering in different ways.
It was always me who hated my own situation and even ranted about my family, not knowing he was dealing with one himself.
That night when he comforted me about my parents no longer able to pay for my school fee, I thought he only had a bad relationship with them, just like me and mine. But what I didn't know is that he was also afraid and scared.
I was too dumb to realise that. He did everything he could to not appear weak, and that was a success.
Taehyung was the type of person who would put other people before him even if that means he would suffer alone.
I guess that's why I like him too, before I even realized.
It was very rare to see him like this. Ordinarily, he would never show this side of him. Never.
"Fuck, I'm going to regret whatever I've said and will say. But it's your fault you brought me to this place. It awakes my emotion wholly," he cussed.
I smirked and wiped his tears with my thumb.
"The arrogant Kim Taehyung has been engulfed by the earth. Now what's left is the soft version of him," I laughed.
He threw a glare at me before pulling away. He was trying to bit back a smile.
"Taehyung, do you want to hear my answer now?" I asked, blush almost coating my cheeks.
"NO!" He howled almost immediately.
I chuckled at his response. He had no right to be shy after doing all that heart-fluttering kiss and confession, literally jolting every corner of my body from its deep slumber.
"I will ask you out properly when I have prepared myself enough. Until then, you still have time to think.. I guess..." He averted his gaze shyly.
"What about Jimin?"
His eyes enlarged and he sighed. "I will talk to him... about this. I hope I won't lose him. I'm scared, but I have to tell him sooner or later."
"Are you embarrassed?"
"No!"
He had his hands folded together while moving it back and forth in front of his body. Somehow, today he appeared smaller than usual. Taehyung would constantly look down while talking to me. He obviously was avoiding eye contact.
This was so not him.
Honey fucking bun does he looks so cute.
"Excuse me?"
"Huh?"
"Did you just call me cute?" He widened his eyes.
Did I just freaking say that out loud?
"I-It's a recognition for your confession," I faked a laugh.
"Sure it is."
I rolled my eyes. The duality was coming back. Taehyung and his mischievous side.
"Actually, I feel like shit having to keep everything from Minji too. I can't be like you. I can't brave myself to talk to her about this. Just like you, I'm worried if I'd lost her. But unlike you, I don't feel as lonely without my parents," I said.
"That's all up to you. You have nothing to lose," replied him.
"What!? I have Minji to lose!"
"Do you think she cares if Jimin likes you, and would forgive you for that? I've seen her forgetting you a few times whenever there's him. You call that a best friend?" He asked.
I pushed the insides of my cheeks and looked away. I didn't like how he talked about her but there was no doubt that I felt like that sometimes.
However, there was no way she would pick a boy over her best friend for years.
"Fine, let's stop talking about her," I said. "We have more important matters."
"And what is that?"
"Your feelings?"
He groaned and knocked the back of my head with his knuckles. "We should also stop talking about that."
"What about regarding that?" I teased him.
"Like what?"
"Do you have anything you want?"
Taehyung began massaging the skin besides his mouth using his thumb and forefinger downwards.
"Well, something regarding that... I've always wanted to feel loved. But seeing that it seems like a crime to ask for, I'm already quite happy that I'm liking you." He answered nonchalantly, smiling a little.
Oh my god stop it namjesus for I'm going to die of too much fluttery incomes.
"I don't mean it like that.. ugh. But thank you, really. For liking me," I smiled.
I like you too, Taehyung. A lot. But I'll save that for later, when you would ask me out.
"Of course you should be. I'm handsome and any girls would want to be in your shoes," he smirked.
"Oh, piss off." I snapped my fingers at him.
We decided to take the bus since we were so tired and it was getting dark.
Unlike when Jimin confessed, I somehow felt happy and calm, knowing that Taehyung liked me. I didn't want to run away at all. Instead, I let him sleep on my shoulder the whole ride.
I wish time could stop.
"Wake up, sleepyhead. Move your butt up and sleep at your house." I shook him.
He groaned and open an eye, looking at me. Without any consent, he went to press his lips onto my cheek before running away with giggles.
"What the—"
I cleared my throat as we were gaining some attention from other passengers.
"What was that for?" I asked as I stepped foot outside.
"What? Can't I kiss the girl I like?"
He sent me tight-lipped again. I mean, it wasn't like I dislike the kiss after all.
"Y-You still can't without my approval," I spoke.
We were nearing our house when his footsteps suddenly stopped. Taehyung was walking a little bit faster than me so it ended up with my head hitting his chest.
"Ow!"
I rubbed the sore point and travelled my eyes up to meet his. He was looking down at me piercingly.
"Can I kiss you now?" He asked.
"Huh?"
Taehyung didn't wait for my answer as he was already starting to lean in. Just when our lips were about to touch, a familiar voice came into scene.
"Taehyung? Rain? Why are both of you together?"
It was Jimin.