TWO YEARS AGO
I ran. I don't know for how long, but long enough to where my lungs started to burn and my legs ached. I came to this great lake. I wasn't sure what the name of it was, but it sure was peaceful.
I practically collapsed onto a rock, putting a hand through my sweaty hair. Tears clouded my vision as I thought about their taunts. Before I had time to cry some more, I heard twigs snap and footsteps approach. Great.
I turn and saw boots, trousers, suspenders, and then— a girl...? She almost looked unrecognizable. But as soon as I saw one of her eyebrows shoot up confused, I knew.
Harley Clarke. The nicest girl in first grade, my enemy in second, after that, we didn't talk much. I didn't know if she recognized me at first either. She squinted her eyes. "Gilbert?"
I sighed and nodded, I wasn't trying to make my annoyance obvious, but I was in the middle of crying and the last person I wanted to see was a girl.
"Why are you dressed in boy clothes." I asked with a flat tone, looking at her confused.
She scoffed at this. "These are simply clothes. There is no boy or girl clothes, that's like saying the worlds black and white. These are just clothes traditionally worn by men. Doesn't mean it's completely one gender's."
I was too tired to follow, so I didn't push further. She hadn't changed much. Still strong-willed and very opinionated. She plopped down next to me, with a basket of colourful flowers poking out at random spots.
I looked back towards the lake. "You know there isn't much flowers over here."
This made her shrug. "I saw you run over here crying. That seemed plenty more interesting that daisies." She said in the same tone.
When I shot her a quick hurt look, she sighed, a genuine one. "And maybe... I wanted to make sure you were okay." She quickly added in a low tone.
After a minute of silence, she looked back towards me. "So why are you crying?"
It was my turn to sigh and I shifted on the rock. "Bullies."
She rolled her eyes. "Ugh, tell them to shove off."
"They're girls."
"So? I'd still do it." She didn't act shocked or looked at me as if I was a child. I guess to her, she really didn't see gender.
"It's Prissy Andrews."
Now she looked at me. "What did Prissy say?" She said her name in a proper voice, which made me almost crack a smile.
I waited a few seconds before answering. Would Harley make fun of me like them? Would I really have no one after that?
I decided, screw it, tell the truth. "Well she— she poked fun at me for not having kissed anyone yet."
Harley whipped around to face me. Some of her hair nearly hitting my chin. "Seriously?!" She asked in disbelief.
I slowly nodded and looked back towards the lake. Thinking more about it, it really felt stupid.
She scoffed and looked back at the lake. We let the silence consume us for another minute, then she slowly turned towards me.
"Gilbert," She started, thinking hard. I glanced towards her. "Do you want to kiss a girl?"
I thought about it for a second, and then nodded. "Well— I more so wish, just to get it over with, I feel like it's hanging over me."
Harley groaned and put her face in her hands. "Me too." She mumbled. "The girls, my mother, my mother's friends. They don't say it but I know they want to know. It doesn't even seem like that much of a big deal."
We both didn't say anything for another long minute, I let Harley's words hang in the air, resaying them in my head. "Harley?"
"Yes, Gilbert?"
"We both haven't had our first kiss." I paused and she sat up, slightly amused.
"Yeah.."
I cleared my throat, opening and closing my mouth, unable to find the right way to put this.
Was I really about to ask?
"Would you— would you mind?"
It took her a few seconds to get it, but then she scrunched her nose. "What— like practicing?" She asked with a puzzled look.
"No! No, I mean— just for the sake of getting it over with..." I watched her face carefully. She didn't show any sign of repulse, which I guess was a good, and she slowly nodded.
"Fine, but just for the sake of getting it done and over with." She stated, getting strands of hair out of her face.
We both leaned in slowly, and as soon as our lips met, it ended just as fast. But in those brief moments, I could feel her soft lips, and the faint taste of strawberries. We both pulled back, and I swear I could see a faint blush on her cheeks.
I cleared my throat and she opened and closed her mouth. "I— um... good job." She said awkwardly, and stood up holding her basket.
"Yeah... you too." I replied slowly, and tried looking at anything else other than her. "Was it all that you'd imagine it'd be?"
I could see her mind working, maybe she was going to tell me how awful it was, but instead she smiled said, "Well... it felt more like a high-five than a kiss."
This made me snort, which she laughed at. "What kind of laugh is that?" She asked between laughs. It made me laugh even harder.
When we both finally calmed down, she looked at her basket, and gave me a daisy.
"Will I see you around?"
She hadn't been to school recently. She'd show up for weeks, then disappear again, out of nowhere. What I heard was gossip, but apparently she was helping her brother who was sick.
She bit her lip and kept her eyes on the flower. "Maybe... next year I'll start coming again. Actually coming to school."
I nodded and gave her one more smile, before she ran off, looking for more of whatever.
***
Gilbert watched me carefully sit down and had his hand behind me just in case. I was suprised not a single stitch ripped, but I kept a close watch on my arm. It still burned with every touch, every movement.
I sniffled and took one more deep breath, before starting to talk. I looked at him with glossy eyes and pink tear-stained cheeks. "I broke the rules Gilbert. I did what I thought was right at the time, but someone caught me, and now I feel like the stupidest person alive."
He blinked a few times, and didn't say anything. What could he say?
I sighed and mumbled, "She'd kill me if she found out I was saying this." I decided I didn't want to say her name, though I was sure he could probably take a guess and find out.
"This girl is blackmailing me with it, and if I break her rules, she'll tell everyone, including my friends, the teachers, my parents, and I'll get suspended with my family's reputation ruined."
Gilbert inhaled sharply, and pursed his lips. Looking down with a focused gaze. "Her 'rules?'"
I nodded and watched the lake, I wasn't going to explain all of them to him, it would take too long.
"Harley, you have to tell someone."
I huffed a humorless laugh, but it sounded more like a scoff. My forward gaze didn't change. "And tell them what exactly?" I asked harshly, turning towards him and shaking my head. "She wasn't the one who did anything wrong. I did, and now I'm getting punished for it."
"But... you shouldn't have to!"
"Well I am!" I shouted, feeling tears tug at my eyes again. I stood up and raised my arms, then let them drop again to my sides. "And the one boy, the one person I could talk too about this, probably doesn't even care about me!"
Gilbert thought about this and blinked a for a few seconds. "Is— is it Henri?"
I shook my head, looking down. "No, he— he's in our class, but it turns out he loves someone else... Guess— guess I wasn't good enough for him."
The silence was long, I tried to read Gilbert's body language, but he was like a stone cold rock, his adam's apple bobbed and I could see his tight clenched jaw.
"Well, your amazing Harley." He said with a thick voice, he picked up his bag and started back towards the path. "Anyone that doesn't see that is an idiot." He snapped, almost emotionless.
"Gilbert..?" I asked softly, his smile was gone, and he looked sick. Why had he completely changed in the last five seconds? Did I say something wrong?
Before he left, he peeked back over at my confused expression. "I don't care what you've done." There was a pause, and it felt like the need for me to say something, but nothing would come out.
"You know," He paused, seeming hesitant about whatever he was about to say. "you'd be more than enough for me."