Carter's stash of snacks and his classic rock playlist made it easy enough not to speak for a while. But there were only so many cheezits I could stuff in my face and only so much ACDC one could bear before I had to open my mouth and say something. Still, I couldn't do it. Chickening out, I let the awkward silence drag on and on until we were an hour into the trip and Carter took it upon himself to make the first move.
"Okay," he said finally, a tone of frustration in his voice that made me wonder how long he'd been waiting for me to say something as well. "I'm not driving four hours like this. What's going on, Ava?"
He looked my way and I could see something in his eyes past the frustration. It gave me pause. Was that... fear?
"I'm worried that I- when we-" he stumbled and then sighed. "Did I screw everything up, Ava?"
I blinked at him in surprise.
"You?" I asked, shocked. "Did you screw everything up? No. Carter, I was worried that I did."
"Why would you think that?" he asked, looking my way again, genuinely confused.
"You wouldn't even look at me at breakfast and you ran out with Aaron as fast as you could. You were ignoring me and I thought-"
"What? Ava, I'm not ignoring you. Emma sprung this trip on us last minute and I had work I had to get done. I thought you'd understand given that's why you sprinted out of my apartment Saturday morning."
I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. I couldn't argue with that.
"I'm sorry, Carter," I said quietly. "I don't know why I did that. I just... I guess I freaked out a little."
He smiled over at me then.
"Hey, I'm the King of the morning after runout, right?" he joked. "It's okay, Ava. I'm not mad. I just... are we okay?"
I nodded and he turned his attention back to the road. The silence that followed wasn't nearly as tense now that the air had been cleared between us. But I felt that there was more to be said.
"What do we do now?" I asked quietly. His smile vanished but he did not look upset, just pensive. "I mean, I don't think either of us can deny that it was... good. Like, really good. Better than either of us expected... right?"
He turned his dazzling smirk upon me again and I felt my knees actually wobble despite my seated position.
"I'd say that's an understatement," he answered.
"So... now that we know how great it is, do we just go back to how things were? To being friends?"
"Is that what you want?"
"I-I want..." but I hesitated here, unsure of what I wanted myself.
"Look, Ava, we're two people with our hands full with work, right? I mean you're running your own company and I've got more than my fair share of gigs. We're friends who enjoy spending time together, trust each other, love each other. So, if we want to blow off steam here or there, I can't see any harm in it. I mean, if you ever need an itch scratched again, I'm around."
He tossed me a grin and added a wink and I felt myself laughing at the cheesiness of it.
"Neither of us are looking for anything serious, least of all with each other, so we can just have fun, right?" he added, looking back at the road.
"Yeah," I agreed with a smile though I felt a heaviness in my heart I would rather ignore at the nonchalant simplicity of the proposed arrangement. "Of course. I mean, it doesn't have to ruin our friendship."
"Exactly. It doesn't have to complicate things if we don't let it and, since we're both sure of where we stand, no harm, no foul."
"Right," I nodded along, turning to the window to try to regain the composure I seemed to have lost. "No harm, no foul."
We spent the rest of the trip in a relaxed, friendly conversation and everything seemed to be back to normal. Well, everything except for the strange tightness in my chest. We pulled into the cabin drive laughing and climbed out to find that the others had beat us here and already unpacked the SUV. Carter lifted my suitcase down and handed it to me and we strolled inside where the others were already getting comfortable. Emma grabbed me by the arm and led me off to my room while Shane tossed Carter a beer and he cracked it open with the rest of the guys.
The room itself was quaint. It had all the décor that one would expect from a Smokey Mountain lodge. The bedspread was flannel, the curtains were flannel, everything was made of wood that still resembled smoothed-out trees. I was just grateful there wasn't a deer head hung over my bed. I tossed my suitcase to the side and went to the mirror hanging next to the bathroom I would share with Emma and Shane whose room was connected on the other side. I focused on fixing my mascara and reglossing my lips for a second before letting out a frustrated groan.
"Get it together, Ava," I snapped at myself, meeting my own eyes with a scowl. "You've talked it through. It's done. There's nothing to be upset about. You're just feeling some connection that isn't there after so long without physical intimacy, that's all it is. This is Carter we're talking about. You don't feel that way about him. You never have."
I held my own gaze for a moment before groaning again and letting my face fall into my hands. There was a knock on my door then and I straightened myself enough to make my way over to it and throw it open.
"Hey," Emma said brightly from the other side. "Are you ready to go?"
"What?" I asked, confused. "Where are we-"
"You helped me plan this trip, girl!" she exclaimed with a roll of her eyes. I bit my lip. She was right. I had. Or rather, I'd been sitting next to her on the couch all night while she'd planned it and I'd worried about spending a whole week with my best friend who wasn't speaking to me.
"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just worn out from the trip."
"The lake, remember? We're gonna head out there with some supplies. Do some swimming, maybe some hiking, definitely some roasting marshmallows?"
"Right. Of course. Just let me get dressed, yeah?"
"Meet us outside when you're ready."
When Emma left, I shut the door behind her and turned back to my suitcase. I pulled out the new red bikini I'd bought a week ago and put it on before sliding a pair of jean shorts and a loose-fitting sweater over it. Then I stepped into some sandals and ran outside to join the others who were all dressed and waiting.
"You're driving," Carter said the moment I appeared, tossing me the keys to his truck before going around to hop into the bed.
"Excuse me?" I asked, catching them and holding out my hands in question. "Why?"
"Few reasons. One, all us guys have been drinking. Two, I don't trust Emma with my baby. And three, I'm a gentleman who would never let a lady ride in the bed of a truck down a bumpy mountain."
I rolled my eyes as the guys chuckled and I joined Emma in the cab of the truck. A few minutes later, we were pulling up at the lake. Emma's top was off before she even left the truck, sprinting toward the water with Shane close at her heels. As they approached the beach, he lifted her off her feet and tossed her into the lake. She squealed with delight as she swam further in and he peeled off his own shirt to follow.
"Guess we're swimming," Aaron said with a shrug, pulling off his own shirt and striding off to join them.
"I'm not," Wesley grunted, shaking his head at the ridiculously loud friends of ours, shouting from the water.
"Oh come on, Wes," Carter teased, grabbing him by the shoulders and giving him a good shake. "You're gonna be this much of a dud even on vacation?"
"I didn't ask to go on vacation," Wesley snapped back and I couldn't help but smile. He wasn't wrong.
"Well, now you are. So enjoy it, eh? Ava," Carter said turning to me and, before I could react, he'd lifted me easily off of my feet, carrying me toward the lake in his arms. I wrapped mine around his neck just to ensure I wouldn't fall and laughed as he ran across the sand.
He didn't throw me in, not like Shane. He had the patience and the kindness to allow me to remove my clothes first. I tried to ignore the way his eyes roved over my body when I stripped down to my new red bikini but I felt my face heating when I stowed my shirt and shorts safely aside. He took a step forward but I broke away at a run, tossing a smile over my shoulder as I ran into the water with the others.
"Ava! There you are!" Aaron called as I joined. "Emma's been talking smack about how she and Shane can beat us at chicken. Get over here!"
As much as I hated to admit it, Emma had been right about the vacation. An afternoon at the lake turned out to be precisely the thing I'd been needing, It was nice to laugh and splash around with my friends again without worrying about anything between us. We eventually got Wesley to join and had more fun than I'd had in years just swimming around and messing with each other.
Once we were all thoroughly drenched and tired, we made our way to the shore. Emma shouted out the next thing on the agenda before we could even reach our clothes.
"S'mores!" she squealed excitedly. "Let's pile back into the truck and head back to the cabin!"
We all smiled, more willing to go along with Emma's plans now that we'd had so much fun with our first activity. Still soaked, I couldn't exactly change back into my clothes so I made my way, like everyone else, to the truck still in my swimsuit. Pulling the keys from my jean shorts, I headed for the driver's seat while everyone else started to file into their own places. I opened the door and felt two familiar hands on the bare skin of my waist. I jumped and turned to see Carter smiling down at me.
"Not just yet, Collins," he drawled. "I'm not letting your wet ass ruin my interior."
Then, without taking his eyes off of mine, he leaned in to spread a towel out on the seat behind me so that our chests were touching. My breath caught and I saw his expression darken when he noticed the effect he was having on me.
"Sorry Carter!" Emma called when he backed away and I could breathe again. "My wet ass has already ruined your interior."
"At least it's just the passenger side," Carter chuckled and gave me one last glance before joining the guys in the back.
I forced my wobbling legs to move enough to climb into the driver's seat and start the truck. We headed back up the hill for the cabin, Emma blasting pop music from the radio as we did. When we arrived, a few of us went inside to change into dry clothes while Shane and Aaron stayed outside to light the fire. Wes was asleep on the couch by the time Emma and I emerged from our rooms. We just smiled and rolled our eyes before heading out to join the rest of the guys at the fire that was now going strong in the dark outside.
I sat next to Emma and helped her stick the fluffy white marshmallows onto the roasting sticks and pass them around. We talked and laughed and made an endless amount of s'mores. I caught Carter looking my way more than once as I was licking the remnants of the sweet confection from my fingers and lips, hooded expression as he watched.
Emma and Shane ran off to their room about an hour into the campfire. I stood up and stretched into a yawn myself.
"Go to bed, Ava," Aaron told me, already standing and starting to pack things away. "Carter and I can take care of things out here."
Carter met my eyes then and I saw that the desire was still there, behind them. I spun away and shouted thanks over my shoulder as I fled to my room. But when I shut the door behind me, I was more fidgety and restless than I'd hoped. I tried to busy myself with taking a shower and changing into one of the nightgowns I'd brought with me. But I couldn't stop thinking about the way he'd looked at me over the fire or the way he'd held my waist as he spread the towel on the driver's seat of his truck.
Finally, without thinking much about what I was doing, I threw open my door and stepped into the dark, empty hallway beyond. I made my way out of the hall where mine and Emma's rooms were, down the hall where Aaron and Wesley were staying, and all the way across the house to Carter's room at the very end. Tentatively, I reached up and gave a soft knock, biting my lip and wondering if this was a mistake. But when Carter swung open the door, a devilish smirk on his face and towel slung low on his hips, I was lost.