Acton looked out of the window silently, watching as they passed by buildings and other people alike. He often forgot he could leave the school, the last time he went for an outing being when he bought the stuffed animal.
With Sapphire's gift, he made sure to bring it along, wrapping the cloth around his neck. He found it a strange gift but he still liked it anyways, putting it on. While it wasn't the season to have one, it wasn't burning hot either at the moment. He found comfort in the fabric, watching the outside with an un-explainable emotion.
The sight of breathing and living people walking by the carriage he was in was perplexing to him, unable to completely accept that he was in a fantasy world. Much less an otome game that had obsessive males.
These reminders made him anxious, instantly losing his confidence he had before leaving his room at the thought of letting stress steam out.
So he stared at the sight in a distant look, his face devoid of emotion as his body was numb and unable to hear any coherent thoughts. He felt like he was disconnected with his body, unbothered by the two females stares, thankful that at least his butler sitting next to him wasn't as nosy.
Acton found himself seeking the comfort of the stuffed bunny next to him, seeing it sit there silently as if it understood him and his pains. He smiled softly at the thought.
But he knew it didn't understand anything.
He knew he was just projecting his feelings on it.
But he didn't want to admit it.
Acton realized he felt isolated and alone even with everyone around him trying to help him. He felt so lonely being here stuck in this reality where he doesn't really knows anyone. He didn't want to seem crazy acting like Mr. Fluffy was able to understand him but the more time he spent, the more he needed this comfort.
He needed something that reminds and holds memories for him, comforting him when he was feeling down. He needed someone to truly understand what he was going through.
Mr. Fluffy wasn't just a stuffed animal plush. He was Acton's past.
And he didn't want to separate with them even if it hurt him.
Sapphire had seemed to noticed his foul mood, frowning at the sight but letting him be. She really did want to help him and comfort him but she wasn't very good at it herself. She considered him a friend yet she wasn't able to help him during his worst, more worried about her crush than anything.
And for the first time in awhile she felt guilt.
She would often do troublesome things in order to gain attention or defend herself but now that she finally gained what she wanted, she found herself at a lost what to do with it. What do you do with your friends? How do you talk to your friends? How do you relate with your friends? How can you understand your friends?
She questioned herself constantly yet she could never get a clear answer. She knew Acton was distancing himself with everyone yet she couldn't understand why and how to stop him from doing so. She knew he was miserable but she couldn't figure out why.
When Emily had explained the state she found Acton in, ready to jump to off the rooftop, just the thought made her sick to her stomach. She had to retire to her room from the sickness after discussing the situation with the rest, unable to sleep that night as she felt restless.
She even went out of her way and visited Acton that night to be greeted with a butler having a similar experience. They sat together in silence as they watched Acton from afar sleeping peaceful.
They felt despair as no matter how close they got, they felt like Acton had gone even farther away from them.
The relief she felt when her eyes connected with his dark grey ones were as great as her being near Emily. She felt ecstatic as he sheepishly laughed at her scolding, realizing she hasn't heard it awhile. A genuine laugh with an awkward and apologetic smile.
She had no doubt the rest felt like that.
To the point they might have felt it too much.
She was embarrassed at how affection she was with Emily and even caught herself being a lovesick puppy yet Emily never minded it, smiling at her even more.
But she felt unnerved when she saw that emotion forming on them.
More so those gazes being on Acton.
The actions and expression are very brief and small but it didn't settle her anxiety on that matter, as they must've felt what she feels with Acton, in peace.
She found herself enjoying Acton company as he sometimes puts his input on how she can woo Emily over. Sometimes she would just go to his room to hang out. Because of her visits until Acton's attempt, Sapphire and Alex were not on friendly terms.
Alex was very clearly trying to hog Acton to himself, especially when it came to Emily and Sapphire visiting him at times. Alex must've thought of them as a threats to whatever reason and Sapphire found herself being as equally passive aggressive as him. Emily was a lot more mild-manner, accepting when Alex would try to shoo them away until Sapphire forced herself in Acton's room.
They had made a silent truce on the night of Acton's attempt. To protect him and keep him happy.
She also noticed sometimes even the other council members would try to steal him from them whenever they hung out, something that rarely happened because of Sapphire's sheer determination on hogging Acton. Emily seemed to be the same, though doing it with pure intentions as she only wanted to spend more time with him.
It was very strange and suspicious, something she tried to confront with Acton if he noticed their behavior who simply shrugged it off and explained that perhaps they were jealous of the fact he got hang out with the two girls. Acton seemed oblivious to their subtle interest that could be downright obsessive if Sapphire didn't know who they were.
Though she found herself doubting them, slowing the perfect and well maintained nobles view on them cracking.
She watched as each one slowly became more and more interested in him to the point it seemed suspicious. As if they were interested in him more as a friend.
She knew they would never hurt him or her and Emily but it still didn't help her uneasiness. Hell even the teacher Acton and Emily shared had grown slightly fond of the boy, often glancing at him when they grouped together and tried to tease him.
She liked to think it was just him looking out for a student but it was starting to grow suspicious as that attention was similar to the rest of them of the other males.
It seemed like their interest was only the beginning too it, even them being unaware of their growing feelings. All of them were of course falling in love in their own pace but it was still happening nonetheless, feeling pity for her friend for some reason.
To add on, it seemed like she was the only one who knew what was happening. Maybe Acton slightly knew what was happening but he was too stubborn to admit it or acknowledge it, tricking himself to be oblivious to their growing affection.
Sapphire could only pray this wasn't going to turn out badly for her poor friend, seeing as he was already in a state bad enough as it is.
Sapphire felt a pat on her shoulder, glancing at Emily who gave her a smile. Sapphire melted at the sight, forgetting about the thoughts that consumed her.
With that, Emily gaze fell back onto Acton, smiling softly at his blank eyes staring off to space. Her smile sadden for a second, unable to read him.
She could often read people like an open book, many people she read were rather bitter and aggressive ones. As a kid she always saw people looking down at her, adults even, and she feared it. She feared it for so long and sometimes she still does.
But she's grown. She's grown use to those stares. She knew it was because of her status. They found her weak, just some baron's daughter that even he didn't care about. A daughter of a commoner servant that the Baron forced himself upon. She was abandoned on the footsteps of the door from her mother after she was birthed, leaving her all alone in her lonely future.
She was forced to adapt and expect how people would react in order to avoid conflict.
People thought she was stupid when she took her abuse with a smile until the abuser got bored. While Emily does admits she is a bit stupid at times but it didn't mean she wasn't aware of what was happening around her. She played dumb in order to avoid negative reactions but the only thing she felt was concern for Acton.
Acton wasn't some type of stupidly nice person but he still allowed her presence to be near him when he could get hurt in the process. She could see the reluctant in Acton eyes when she first met him but he still interacted with her anyways. She saw that conflict often when he interacted with people and situations.
It was as if he couldn't care anymore.
As if the consequences later didn't matter to him.
As if he had nothing to lose.
Even though she was a few steps away from him, he felt so far away, so distance. As if he wasn't apart of this world. As if he was just apart of her imagination. And that made her feel fear. Real fear that she hasn't feel since a child. She felt like she could lose him at any given time. So she watched. She watched from afar. She stepped in when she thought she could. She stepped out when she thought she needed to.
Because Acton was weak. He was weak emotionally. And she couldn't do anything to help him. She had to watch from afar as he slowly broke apart. And she hated herself for it. She watched the longing in his eyes get stronger each day. The desperation and loneliness etched on them. Her heart hurt at the sight of his blank and observing eyes, having a distance look to them.
She thought it was because he was a commoner before, being forced to live in a different lifestyle but with time she knew it wasn't that case. She felt like it was something completely different. And she didn't know what it was.
So she played dumb. She didn't know what else she could do. Acton seemed to be dealing with something that she knew she could not help with. That nobody at the moment could help with... so she could only offer her presence and she hoped it was enough...
"Oh it seems like we're here!" Emily voiced cheerfully, sad eyes betraying her tone and smile.
Yes, this was the only way she could comfort him for now.
Distracting him from his own thoughts.
Acton perked up slightly at the comment, peeking back outside to see the bustling crowds on the side walk. "Where do we meet up with the rest?" His question coming out as soft and quiet, Alex exiting first and holding out his hands for the two females and him, which he gladly took as he slightly jumped to the ground.
Emily found it slightly strange that Alex offered Acton that hand gesture when exiting out the carriage even though it's usually only used for females.
"In the cafe we were planning to go before of course." Sapphire explained, leading the three through the bustling crowd of people and to the somewhat small building. Acton's mouth seem to water at the smell of the sweets, eyeing them as he walked by customers tables filled with cookies and cakes.
"Over here!" Elton exclaimed, waving at them as Emily grinned at the gesture, dragging Acton towards the table filled with males. Acton sat down next to her, Alex being on his other side while Emily rambled about how good the desserts were here.
"See! Look how good those cookies look!" Emily exclaimed, pointing her figure at the menu, drooling at the sight a bit. Acton glanced at it, instantly enchanted by the sight and eyes sparkling. He looked up at the sounds of chuckles, his cheeks slightly burning red from embarrassment.
"I'll buy you anything you want from here Emily." Sapphire offered with a bashful look to her earning a gasp from the heroine. "Really?!?!" She nodded making the female giddy in her seat, thanking Sapphire over and over again. Acton smiled at the sight, seeing as they were getting along just fine considering they were consider love rival in the otome game.
"Wait but I have to get something for Acton!" Emily exclaimed, wiping her drool with the back of her hand in determination. He nodded, both looking at the menu but he was obviously conflicted, at first wanting the cheesecake but then finding the multiple pastries on the menu appetizing.
He paused as he realized he was nibbling on his lips, stopping as he looked up at his bulter's staring at him intently as if daring him to continue his harmful actions with his eyes. He turned away, unnerved by the look.
"I could buy you one of everything on the menu if you want." Zane offered making Acton snap his heads towards him and eyes widen at the thought. He hasn't been able to interact too much with the two princes but he could tell the first one was interested in interacting with him. The second prince did too but he concealed his interest a lot better.
Acton was tempted by the offer but hesitated at the sight of his butler and Cade piercing their gazes into the prince. Like they were questioning his motives knowing Acton had enough money considering the family he got into. Zane only smiled obliviously, taking Acton seconds of silence for a yes, glancing at Milton who in return started to order for Acton.
"Wait no you don't have-" Acton didn't finish his sentence as Milton quickly order, like he knew Acton would protest. "Consider it our present for your improvement in magic." Milton spoke, a lot softer than Zane who would often adapt from the emotions, his golden eyes shining from the light reflecting off of them as he was near the window. Acton sat in silence, nodding with hesitation.
"Ah. It seems like I'll you have to buy you something else huh?" Emily muttered, a bit thrown off by the two princes behavior.
They were usually serious and the first prince was rather playful at times but she hasn't seen them act like that before. She found it slightly suspicious but shrugged it off, watching Sapphire who sat next to her reading the menu with a serious expression. It made her giggle at the sight, trying to hide it as best as she could.
She didn't know what she felt for Sapphire at the moment but she really liked hanging out with her, noticing that Sapphire might have a crush on her. She wasn't disgusted by it more so flattered and a bit flustered when she realized it a few days ago. But for now she wanted to focus on Acton at the moment and maybe start paying more attention with the princes, finding their doting behavior a bit strange.
It's not like they've never been kind like that before nor interested in someone but for some reason their interest on Acton seems a bit strange. She sometimes noticed how much the others would also pay attention to Acton but she wouldn't really think about it since she was with Sapphire during those times.
Like she said before, she could understand human emotions a lot better than others but for the first time in awhile she couldn't tell what they feeling.
Emily shook her, watching Acton's normally dulled eyes sparkle at the sight of the multiple trays of desserts lining up on the table before him, relieved that he was feeling a bit better.
::
He was lost.
Well he somewhat knew where he was but he separated with the rest as they were walking down the most crowded area. He somewhat knew where he was but he didn't know where they were, contemplating whether he should search for them. He decided at the end he would.
Since they had the left over desserts of his.
He walked along the currents of the crowds, being swept away like ocean waves by the shoulders brushing besides him, some taller and some shorter than him. But he couldn't help but stop at the sight of a park, for some reason feeling a bit nostalgic at the sight.
He blamed the pervious Acton for this feeling, maybe connected by it through memories he did not have but his body did. So he allowed his body to guide him to the swing, plopping down and swinging back and forth slowly making sure Mr.Fluffy was secure in his lap.
He watched the other kids play tag with each other, only now realizing that his old house must have been close by. He didn't know where exactly he used to live but he was confident it had to be around the park. He knew that the pervious Acton was born in this area unlike the rest so he assumed before his body would've remembered the feel of walking around the city.
Yet he felt like the pervious Acton only went out a couple of times, only playing in the park with other kids until he went back home and was forced to take an adult's role. But that was only his assumption.
He didn't know how far he strayed away from the bustling crowds but he couldn't care at the moment, finding the experience alone blissful. He found himself bitterly laughing a bit, the thought of how bizarre it was that he came into this world now that he was going back into his thoughts.
He found it ridiculous how he accepted everything so quickly. How strong his emotions were even when they weren't like that before in his pervious life.
He still wanted to return but the harsh truth was revealed long ago, something he tried to avoid. He was conflicted with himself, not knowing if he should try to go back as a side character or accept his ever growing attention and role with the council members. He honestly thought he'd wake up and return to his daily life. Yet he didn't.
He'd always daydream about starting anew in a different life but now that he finally has his chance, he felt rather disappointed.
It was like reality was catching up to him.
It was eerie, only the sounds the wind and chains of the swing rubbing together and creating small noises. The sun was setting, Acton often forgetting how much time passes. He and the rest were going to return to the dorms but because of his separation he doubted that it was going to happen for now.
So he waited.
And waited.
Waited.
But nobody came.
The sounds of clinking noises from the swing continued, kicking his feet up higher as the sky slowly was consumed into darkness. His mind was hazy, wondering what was taking his friends so long. He hugged his stuffed animal for support, feeling a bit better.
"What are you doing here so late, kiddo?" He turned around, surprised at the sight of his magic teacher, Wyatt staring back at him, seemingly out for a walk. "You live around here?" Acton asked in return which got a small nod. "Grandfather has a mansion in this city." He explained, making Acton slightly mumble under his breath along the lines about damn rich people.
It was silent once again.
"Well?" Wyatt questioned again, sitting next to the smaller boy who in return stop his swinging after awhile. "Got separated with the rest of my friends in the crowd." Acton muttered, the teacher laughing at his misfortune.
"I passed by them and they asked for help but I didn't expect you to be here carelessly swinging while the others frantically looked at you." Wyatt teased making the boy slightly embarrassed as he realized he could've continued looking for the rest instead of making them worrying like that.
"I felt comfortable here." Acton weakly defended himself, mumbling his words. The teacher understood him properly surprisingly so he only nodded. "You use to come here as a kid?" Acton in return was silent, pondering it for a bit.
"I don't know." It made one of Wyatt's eyebrow arch up as his brown eyes shined a bit of gold from curiosity even with how dark it was, the only light produced being the looming tall lights hanging over them. "What do you mean?"
Acton looked up for awhile, sighing and closing his eyes for a bit. When he opened them back up he couldn't help but admire the look of dancing stars, shining brightly next to the full moon. Even when he looked up at the sky at night in his pervious life, he never saw stars like this because of the air pollution.
"I don't know."
Wyatt was quiet for a bit, letting the words soak in. "If you wanted to know, I was out here taking a walk to clear my mind. It's not bad to do break apart from others for awhile but maybe you should inform them when you want alone time. They were only concern for you, fearing something bad had happened." He explained suddenly, trying to somewhat change the conversation and mood.
Acton nodded, hearing the huff from his teacher as he watched him get back up on his feet, offering a hand towards Acton. "We should get going. You're friends are still desperately trying to find you." Acton nodded, taking one last glance at the empty park that had somewhat of an ominous feeling to it, as if he was leaving behind a piece of him.
He thought about it, squeezing Mr.Fluffy hand one last time, setting the stuffed animal on the swing. He felt something hurt in his heart but he knew it would have been the correct thing to do at the moment, turning his head back and never looking back.
As if he was saying goodbye to something.
Goodbye to his past.
::
A/N: ya know cast away the movie? With Wilson that basketball that the dude grew an attachment to because he lacked human interaction? Yeah well that's kinda like Mr.Fluffy for Acton. I thought it'd be cool to put more of a meaning to him clinging around with a stuff animal.