Kaede's POV
My eyes seemed to skim over the text more than once, I couldn't believe what I just read. did Kaito thing that was gonna make me mad at Ouma somehow?
My eyebrows furrowed and my thumbs almost seemed to tapdance on my phone screen as I typed.
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But did he tell you about the part when Kokichi killed himself and got me executed..
no, he didn't, but why did Kokichi kill himself anyway?
Kaito has gone offline
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One part of me laughed at how Kaito didn't even know why, but the other part was wondering why Kokichi did it. Even though I was very curious I decided to not tell anyone about the information to avoid drama.
Kokichi's POV
I looked down at the blank calendar in front of me. I had a blue marker in my right hand as I started to mark a day for this month.
April 23rd
I drew a small bottle of pills next to the number and hung the calendar on my wall. I mean, im alone after all, right? No one would care if I died since I'm.. always... alone..
you're alone kokichi, and you always will be.
Tears threatened to fall out of my eyes but I wiped them away with my hand. All of a sudden I heard a knock on the door, I panicked and pulled one of the calender's pages over the current page.
I rushed to the door and calmed myself down for a brief second before opening it. There stood Shuichi.
Thoughts of him and Kaito hanging out earlier today flashed through my mind but I pushed them back.
"Hey Saihara-Chan! What's up?" He looked a bit confused but I ignored it, not knowing his intentions.
"Uh, Hey Kokichi. Me and Kaede are back so do you wanna hang out or something-?" My heart fluttered. "Yeah of course Shuichi!" I beamed.
Time skip
It was now nighttime as me and Shuichi were walking down the dorm halls. We actually spent some good time together, which didn't help the fact that I had a crush on him. We reached his dorm and I felt my heart sting, not wanting to leave.
"Bye Saihara~~! Wanna hang out again tomorrow?" I asked, trying to keep us in contact, I didn't want our new friendship to be broken so quickly.
"uhm, sorry Kokichi, I have plans tomorrow. Maybe another day?" I felt my heart shatter as he said that. "Yeah of course! Ok bye you dumb detective!" I laughed at my own joke before walking off to my own dorm.
As I layed down on my bed, I felt a bunch of guilt flood in. why did I call Shuichi dumb. he isn't dumb. I hate myself. why do I express my affection through being rude? whats wrong with me..
I just layed there, tears rolling down my cheeks. I wanted to go back to Shuichi. I pondered going over to his dorm, and soon enough, I was getting dressed to go over an hour later.
I walked down the hall, feeling bad about bothering him this late. I stood in front of his door for a few seconds before finally lifting my arm to knock.
Shuichi's POV
I layed there in bed, my eyes softly shut. I thought of a bunch of places me and Kaede could hang out at. I was about to fall asleep when all of a sudden I heard a knock at the door. I groaned, annoyed. I quickly threw on my jacket and some shorts as I stumbled to the door.
I opened the door, and there I saw Kokichi. I audibly gasped when I saw him, he looked terrible. He had large dark circles under his eyes and his posture hung low, as if he could fall forward anytime now.
"Uh, Kokichi, do you need hel-" I looked over to the side for a few seconds, getting lost in my thoughts. I was cut off by what sounded like a small sob, but when I looked down at the smaller male, he looked as if everything was suddenly normal.
He smiled even though his eyebags were still there and he was standing with his hands behind his head.
"Saihara-Chan~~ I'm tired and I can't sleep, can I sleep in yourrrr roooooom??" He said in a sing-song voice. I was too tired and confused in the moment, so I just blatantly said yes without thinking.
While I was still in a daze from being woken up so suddenly, I took Kokichi by the hand and led him to my room instead of the spare one. I then layed down and went back to bed as if nothing happened.
Kokichi's POV
I was very confused when Shuichi let me stay in his room, but I awkwardly accepted and layed down next to him, blushing. I uncomfortably closed my eyes and tried to sleep, and not too long after I eventually did.
..Until I had a nightmare and woke up, shaking with tears in my eyes. I sat up and looked over to Shuichi, he looked so comfortable and I didn't want to bother him with my problems.
I got up, picked up my handkerchief, put it back on, and went to the bathroom to calm myself down. I looked at myself in the mirror, silent sobs shuddering through my body.
I was forced out of my thoughts as a sudden knock came from the other side of the door. I rushed over to the door and opened it, there stood Shuichi, looking tired but a bit worried.
"Hey Saihara-Chan, can I piss in peace please?" Shuichi looked a bit annoyed and said, "Kokichi, now isn't the time to be joking. I was worried about you."
I felt bad for making the detective worry and responded with, "Sorry Saihara, I didn't know we were in school and had to ask before going to the bathroom." I joked.
Shuichi just looked down at me, his eyebrows curved upwards, indicating he was worried. "Saihara whats wr-" I was cut off by him objecting.
"I should be asking you that." I slightly stiffened. "H-huh-?" My voice cracked from fear and I mentally cursed at myself. Shuichi just continued to stare at me, his face filled with mixed emotions. Some I couldn't even recognize.
"Kokichi, what happened? You're not ok.." I felt a lump form in my throat, I felt like I was going to cry. I realized this feeling and pushed it down, trying to keep my facade from breaking.
"What do you mean Saihara? I'm fine, you're taking your detective work too seriously, maybe you should take a break from your job for a while." I felt bad for dodging help, but I didn't wanna look weak.
"...Whatever you say, Kokichi.." Shuichi turned around and went back to the room, shutting the door behind him.
I could see he was frustrated with me, which wasn't new since I basically specialized in being an asshole all the time.
It wasn't long before that familiar feeling of guilt kicked in again. I felt guilty for making Shumai worry, I felt guilty for declining help. I felt guilty over everything, even stuff I didn't have control over.
I just decided to head back to my dorm for the night, I didn't wanna bother Shuichi anymore, he deserves sleep, not more things to worry about.
I returned back to my room and changed into a black t-shirt and just my boxers, my self harm obviously visible. I only ever wore t-shirts or short sleeved shirts when I was alone because no one would see or judge anything.
I sat down on my bed, the sounds of my sobs ringed through my ears. I got up and went to my bathroom, and took out a razor blade. I ran the razor across my forearm and occasionally on my stomach and thighs.
I put the razor away and didn't bother to care for my cuts, I just sat there with my knees tucked up against my stomach, on my bathroom floor, silently crying.
A few minutes of crying passed and I crawled over to the bottom cabinets of my sink and took out a boxcutter. I walked over to my bathtub and layed down in it but didn't turn on the faucet, my clothes still on.
I began making deep cuts along my veins, not being able to think from my almost emotionless mental state. I seemed to zone out and when I came back to reality I looked down at the bathtub beneath me.
Neon pink blood stained the sides of my bathtub as more and more blood poured from my veins, sometimes blood would pump out, filling the tub more. did I do that? I didn't remember making more than only 2 cuts.
My vision started to go blurry, not being able to see anything. I was about to lose consciousness when I heard a knock..
1530 words. Aaaand another cliffhanger, sorry i like cliffhangers. I just started working on chapter 11 by the way, so I'm sure it'll be out soon!