C O N N O R
• • •
Last night I was somehow able to leave the Monroes' and get home without Jake or my mom seeing me. He had still been at practice and she was already asleep when I left. Ashton had given me one of his shirts to wear so that I didn't have to keep looking at the red splotches on mine, which I appreciated. Although, me and Crystal both had a thing about blood, so it wasn't too surprising that it was basically second nature to him at this point.
I fell right asleep when I got home, not caring to do any of my homework. If my teachers tried to give me crap for it, I'd just point at my face and and tell them to screw off.
Yes, I know that I wouldn't have the guts to actually, but I would do that in my head.
You would've thought that since I'd gotten a lot more sleep than usual, I would've felt better this morning.. but that wasn't even remotely the case. I felt worse, if anything. After brushing my teeth, I popped 4 Advil, grabbed a few more to bring with me, grabbed my skateboard, and headed out the door. I had told Jake that my mom was going to drive me today so that he wouldn't see my face.
I had said that I didn't care if Jake knew it was Bruce who did it, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he would probably commit murder if he knew. And I didn't really want my best friend to get thrown in jail already. I mean, knowing him it was probably inevitable at some point, but I didn't want it to happen yet at least.
I didn't mind skating to school, anyway. On the way there I listened to some music in my headphones, trying to not let myself get too anxious about both seeing Lucas and avoiding Jake. Not to mention the fact that I was about to be the center of attention in this stupid place.
When I finally got to the school, I instantly snapped into my keeping-head-down mode, and put my hood on as I kicked my board up as I approached the front doors. No one had paid much attention to me yet, which was good. I was able to quickly put my board in my locker, and then focused on keeping my breathing steady as I made my way to the auditorium for first block.
Lucas wasn't there yet, so I sat down at the piano. My mind was focusing completely on shoving down my thoughts, and I was scared that if I started playing a song it would break my floodgates... so I just stared at the keys, drowning in the thick silence around me.
But then I heard the auditorium door open, and my heart dropped in my chest.
"Hey," Lucas said from behind me, gently, as if he was both relieved to see me and scared that I would run off again. I hated that he probably felt like he had to walk on eggshells around me now.
"Hey," I said back over my shoulder, not entirely facing him so that he couldn't see my eye and nose.
"I'm, uh," I heard him put his bag down, his footsteps then coming closer. I ducked my head down a little bit further, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Yesterday when you, um... are you okay?"
"Yeah- yeah I'm fine. It was nothing," I shrugged, but seized up when he sat down on the bench. I accidentally looked over at him, and his eyes immediately widened.
He swore under his breath, his eyes glancing around my features. I hid my cringe, my face heating up while I felt like I was sinking into the floor.
"It's fine, I just fell," I explained before he could gather his words, only he didn't buy it. I turned to duck away again, but he reached and gently turned my head back towards him. His fingers left a tingling sensation on my jaw as they lingered there.
"Connor," he started, and I decided not to cut him off this time, swallowing again as we held each other's gazes. The pain in his eyes made me feel seen... but I couldn't let myself fall for that again. "Who did this to you?"
"I didn't see who it was," I lied, and reached up to bring his hand back down from the side of my face. When I did so, he held my hand in his instead of letting me release it, and I felt my face heat up even more at it. I tried not to think too much about it.
I wasn't trying to protect Bruce, but I was trying keep Jake on a leash. And I guess now I was trying to keep Lucas on a leash as well. The last thing I wanted was either of them getting hurt or into trouble because of me.
It was an absolutely terrible feeling- needing other people to stick up for you all the time. It was terrible.
"Did it happen when you ran off yesterday?" He tried to word it nicely, but it still made me feel embarrassed as hell. I looked down at my lap, where my hand remained in his warmer one. Even his metal rings were warmer than my freezing-cold hands.
"Yeah.. sorry about that by the way. I, um," I sighed, "I get freaked out some times at certain things.. it's stupid," I shook my head.
"Don't apologize, cielo," he cut me off, and I snapped my attention back up to him, trying with all my might to will away the mortified burning in my eyes. "Talk to me," he said. My heart stopped again.
"I appreciate it, but um," I felt myself starting to somewhat panic, "no thank you. I-I mean I'd rather not, right now," I stuttered out, and he nodded understandingly. I hated that he had to be understanding. I hated that I couldn't just act goddamn normal around people like I wanted to.
I thought again about what I had seen him and Alesia doing in that car, and my already sunken heart sank a little more. Maybe he did truly see me. But that didn't mean that what he saw was what he wanted.
And that honestly hurt more than having no one see me at all.
"About Alesia, um," he started, as if he could read my thoughts, and I looked back up at him. He was looking down this time, though, "Her brother is, well.. he's not doing very well right now. We left the fair the other night because she got some news that he was back in the hospital. I knew if I let her go without me she would have gotten herself into trouble one way or another," he tried to explain casually, but my eyebrows raised slightly. I could tell it was hurting him, whatever he was trying to bury under the surface. I knew what that looked like. And what it felt like.
"Are you okay?" I asked, and when he hesitated, I added, "Don't lie." He smiled slightly at me.
"But you lied about being okay," he countered. He looked over my busted eye, and his smile faltered again as he commented, "That looks really bad."
"Why thank you," I mused.
"Does it hurt?" His voice was smooth and somewhat soothing as he kept looking over my face. I swallowed the small lump in my throat.
"It's not too bad," I shrugged, and his warm eyes floated up to meet mine again.
"What are you doing after school?" He asked, and my face started to heat up again. I didn't know what to think, or how to respond... I obviously would have loved to do something with him, but I couldn't get the image of him and Alesia out of my mind.
However, after a bit of hesitation, I said, "nothing," if for no other reason than to make sure I didn't have to see Jake after school.
"Let's do something, then," he looked down at his hand and selected one of his rings to take off. "And just to make sure you don't bail on me," he grinned, taking my hand in his and slipping the ring onto my pointer finger, "give this back when you see me."
My stomach was a mess of butterflies, but I still wasn't letting myself get excited. For all I knew Alesia currently had one of his rings, too. Hell, for all I knew there were a ton of people who had a ring.
"Do you remember where I parked last time?" He asked, cutting off my thoughts. I nodded. "Great, meet me there after school." He finally let go of my hand, and I looked over the ring. It was pretty heavy on my finger, and had some numbers engraved in it.
"What do the numbers mean?" I asked, but when my gaze looked back up to meet his, I could tell that whatever the answer was connected directly to his heart.
"I'll tell you some day," he replied, and I couldn't help but look deeper into his eyes, at the pain that they hid. "For now, just give it back to me after school."
I spent the rest of the period insisting that I had to study again for that test I never got to take, and by the time the bell rang, I was already figuring out how I could try and keep myself hidden from Jake. Our paths usually crossed a couple times in a day, so I'd have to make it an extra effort.
Most of the day went by fine, except for the actual school part- which I was failing miserably at. I successfully avoided Jake until lunch, which I snuck back into the auditorium for, and then all I had to do was make it through the last couple of blocks.
I was walking to my class from the auditorium, thinking that I was shielded enough by the other students walking in the halls around me, when suddenly I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder and turn me around.
I flinched away at first instinct, raising my hands slightly in front of me in reflexive defense.. but when I looked at who had turned me, my eyes widened slightly. Jake had been wearing a small smile, presumably in anticipation of greeting me, but it immediately fell when he looked at my face. He stopped us dead in our tracks, his jaw clenching and unclenching as his eyes continued to wonder around my face in shock.
"You're not gonna tell me I look good today?" I tried to joke, but his burning gaze didn't so much as waver. After a few more moments, it shifted into something more lethal, and suddenly I understood why Bruce was so terrified of him. His anger wasn't even directed towards me, and I felt myself cowering away from him.
"Who?" He asked, his voice deep. I swallowed.
"I just fell against the lockers, nobody-"
"Tell me who the fuck did that to you," he took a step closer, and I instinctually backed up a step. His brows furrowed at this, as if he was just now realizing how jumpy I always was.
"Jake, I fell."
"You don't need to protect them," he glared again.
"I'm not protecting anyone." Except you, I thought.
"Was it Eric?" He asked further, and I shook my head, actually confused as to where he got that name from.
"Listen, either you tell me who or I'll find out myself," he told me, and I swallowed.
"I told you. I fell." I repeated myself, and he all-but-snarled as he pushed by me and prowled away, his presence in the hall dark and intimidating. I would hate to be the one at the receiving end of his current anger. I hadn't seen Bruce yet today, but I could only imagine the fear that would shoot through him if he saw my face.
The rest of the day flew by, and I hadn't seen Jake a single other time. And as if that fact alone wasn't enough to completely set off my anxiety, I now had to find my way to Lucas's car. The same one that I hadn't been able to get off my mind for what felt like a lifetime at this point.
I tried to take some deep breaths as I approached it. He looked up from his phone to greet me as I opened the passenger door and got in. I smiled back as I placed by bag on the floor.
"If it makes you feel any better, cielo, it suits you," he told me, his eyes glancing over my face. I cursed myself as I felt my face heat up slightly.
"Not sure the look is worth the pain, though," I joked back, and he chuckled as he put his phone down and twisted the keys in the ignition. I felt the car growl to life under me. "So where are we going?"
"Somewhere I think you'll like," he replied, and I couldn't take my eyes off of him as he twisted around to look behind us, backing the car up. My gaze slid down his arm to where his left hand was gripping the steering wheel.
"Where?" I asked, and he chuckled.
"You don't seem to like surprises," he commented, and I shrugged.
"No, I can. I'm just not used to them being good," I laughed, and he smiled over at me as he pulled out of the parking lot.
"Well I'll make that my mission. To make you used to experiencing good surprises," he told me, and I couldn't help but blush slightly, turning to look out the window so that he couldn't see.
"I'd do the same for you, but I'm not very good at planning surprises. I usually get too excited and spoil it somehow," I said, and he laughed.
"That's cute," he smiled forward at the road, and my heart skipped a beat at it. "You've already given me one good surprise, though."
"What's that?" I asked, my brows furrowed.
"You," he replied, and I felt my face heat up yet-a-fucking-again. He seemed to notice this, for his smile grew a bit when he looked over at me.
He turned on the music and played it softly enough so that we could still talk, but loudly enough for it to successfully eliminate any awkward gaps in conversation. By the time he pulled into another parking lot, I had already become more comfortable that u had been earlier that day.
"Here we are," he parked the car as I looked up at the sign above the door.
Musica de Soñadores
"A music shop?" I asked, and he grinned over at me as he pulled the keys out of the ignition.
"So you do know Spanish," he commented, and I chuckled.
"I know 'musica', but that's about it," I corrected, stepping out of the car when he did so as well.
"That's a start, I guess," he joked as we made our way to the front door.
When we walked in, my jaw dropped slightly. All around us were various musical instruments all lined up against the walls. They seemed to have every damn kind stacked up against each other. It wasn't at all glamorous or seemingly expensive, but the colorful decorations and music playing in the background made me love the atmosphere.
I followed Lucas to the counter, where some guy was sanding off a guitar. When he looked up at us, his eyes immediately flashed with recognition, and his lips spread into a wide smile.
"Lucas," he greeted brightly, "que te trae??"
I tried to just pretend like I knew what he said..
"Poco," Lucas shrugged, wearing a similarly bright smile, "Este es mi amigo Conor. Cómo estás?"
"Bueno," the man responded, and then looked at me. From his expression, I could tell he realized that I didn't speak Spanish. "Es más que un amigo?" He asked, and wiggled his eyebrows slightly with a semi-mischievous smile. Lucas laughed, and if I hadn't known any better, I would have thought that he looked at me quickly before blushing slightly.
"Te lo diré más tarde," he responded, and finally looked at me to catch me up, "This is Julio, it's a long story but we go way back," he said, and I smiled over at him.
"I'm Conor," I told him, and he grinned.
"I've heard a lot about you," he told me, and Lucas seemed to quickly tell him to shut up in Spanish, but I just chuckled, feeling my face heat up slightly.
"Ignore him," Lucas told me, though slight amusement was lining his features as Julio laughed to himself. "I like to come help out from time to time. Julio likes to take in old guitars and fix them up, and he even lets me keep some once I'm done with them."
"I have some out back right now if you wanna show your friend the ropes," he told Lucas, looking back down at the guitar he was sanding down.
"Sí, usual place?" Lucas said and started walking, placing a hand on my lower back to help guide me along.
"Yeah. There are five, you can have one si tu quieres," Julio called to us as we got farther away, and Lucas thanked him before opening up a door.
The guitars on the table outside were barely guitars at all... a few having rotting wood and a few nearly broken apart. Only two of them had any strings and the others didn't even really have a place for strings to be strung. My brows raised slightly.
"Oh, these aren't too bad," Lucas sized them up, and I couldn't bite back my laugh.
"I'd say they seem pretty bad," I retorted, and he picked up the one that was in the best shape to observe it closer.
"There's something really special about essentially building up a guitar from scraps and then being able to make music with it. Or better yet, to call it your own and be proud of it," he said, and the look in his eyes made me believe it. "Julio has some very high quality strings that we use, so the guitars make a really nice sound when they're finished." He finished, and then locked his gaze with mine again.
"If you aren't interested in building one up with me, then I could just go inside and buy you a guitar he's already fixed up, but I thought it might be cool for us to make one together and for you to keep it," he said, and I felt my heart melt.
Yeah.. this was definitely a good surprise.
"I would love that," I smiled, and he smiled back.
And as I sat down next to him on the bench, I couldn't contain my grin.
• • •
Hey guys :)))
Long time no see.. I'm so excited for what's to come (muahaha)
QOTD: Where is somewhere you have always wanted to travel to?
>>> Italy :( :( I'm sad that I haven't been yet but I've always wanted to go so bad.
Love you all!! More updates to come this week :)
Stay beautiful,
Briella<3