"And it's alright calling out for
somebody to hold tonight.
When you're lost I'll find a way.
I'll be your light. You'll never feel like you're alone.
I'll make this feel like
home."
***
When Mary had picked some clothes for me, she accompanied me to the bathroom, helping me to change my clothes. I couldn't even look at her, I was so embarrassed.
Of course she noticed that and without thinking about it, she gives me a tight hug stroking all over my back to comfort me. Whenever she hugs me, I feel like I finally arrived somewhere I can call home. It feels so sincere how she hugs me, I wish it could last forever.
By putting her hands on my shoulder she creates a little space between us, she smiles at me. "Don't worry anymore. I'm here. You don't need to be afraid anymore of whatever happened." I smile back at her when she abruptly grabs my hand pulling me with her down the stairs.
For a brief moment I thought I was going to fall down, because she was running so fast. Neither I nor she paid attention to Mason's face as we left the front door.
"You know what?" Mary asks in a good mood seeing me raising my brows as we walk down the street. "That was fucking crazy. He looked so stupid." Her laughter bursts out of her thinking about the incomprehension Mason seemed to have for what just happened.
I can't hold it back anymore. I almost spat when my laugh explodes out of my mouth.
The pain I still feel in my wrists seems to be forgotten. "I have an idea." Mary appears proud of herself. She grins while her eyes sparkle in the most beautiful way eyes can sparkle. "Do you mind if we go out for an ice cream? I mean, the weather is amazing and we need something to brighten up the day and waste more time." She stops in front of me seeming jittery whilst she's waiting for my answer.
"I couldn't think of anything better than that right now! Let's do it." I finally say as I teased her by pretending to think about what I'm going to say, that took me half a minute.
We were on our way to the cafe when she suddenly goes faster just to turn around in front of me and stop. My smile fades as I see her worried face. Confusion spreads across my features.
She takes in a deep breath before she's able to say anything. Her mouth calmly starts moving, trembling out the tones. "Whatever he did to you, I will bury him alive or make sure his life gets ruined piece by piece. He doesn't want to be himself anymore when I'm done with him!" Her voice grew stronger to the end and I was a little terrified by that.
"Don't, Mary." I'm sighing quietly. "It'll only get worse, if he finds out that I told you about it."
"Well, apparently you didn't really. I know nothing about it at all." My hands start to shake as I scream out desperately. "God, Mary, he wanted to rape me. He already got me all tied up on my bed! I couldn't even defend myself. I felt so weak."
My breath becomes heavy and I burst out into tears. Just thinking about it makes me want to disappear. I would be pleased, if the ground just opened to swallow me. I'm ashamed of myself.
The tears obscure my vision. Mary comes closer and lays her hand on my cheek. My whole body flinched from the touch.
I am such a silly, naive, shy and scared girl. How does Mary even deal with a person like me? I would never be able to stand myself.
"Claire, I'm sorry...I shouldn't have pushed it that far." As I hear her voice, I try to calm myself down.
It's just Mary. It's just Mary. It's just Mary.
She won't hurt me. She would never.
When I can breathe normally again, I look at her. "Can we just move on? I don't wanna talk about it now. I'm not ready for it yet." She gives me an understanding smile as she moves to stand next to me placing her hand on my back to push me further.
As we go on walking to the cafe, we haven't talked at all. None of us said one single word afraid of what might be the consequence. When we arrive there, we are greeted very friendly. "Good afternoon, ladies! What can I get you?"
I'm not used to being called a lady even though I'm already an adult at the age of 18. I feel like a child. I don't even have my drivers license yet. Mary always picks me up and says it's alright, but I feel like I can't do anything by myself.
I actually am too shy to talk to strangers.
Mary says, it has something to do with my family situation. The violence, the abuse and the lack of love. I cannot be any other than I am, because I have not been taught anything else than fear.
"Hello, I would like a strawberry ice cream and my friend-..." She looks at me, expecting me to tell her what I would like to have. I'm pointing at the chocolate ice cream and she says it out loud. "My friend would like a chocolate ice cream." She always sounds so friendly and confident.
When we got our ice cream and Mary paid, we walk out of the cafe and I immediately feel guilty. She always pays for me. I definitely am a burden.
"Come on, love. We'll find ourself a bench in the park to sit on while eating our ice cream." I can't even remember one time she made me feel like I would've been just a waste of time.
"This one seems the best for me." pointing to a bench standing in the warm spring sun. I abruptly feel better having said something after the long time of remain silent. Mary nods as she walkes straight towards the bench, sitting down when she reaches it. I'm doing the same.
I sit down and immediately feel the warmth that the sun causes on the bench. I lick my ice cream, that tastes as delicious as expected.
When we finished eating our ice creams, we just stay seated and enjoy the sunbeams tickling our noses.
After a while we got distracted by a group of men appearing. I guess they might have been 3 to 4 years older than I am. "Ayo, two bitches like you alone in the park?" one of the men asks meanwhile coming closer. The others laugh, putting dirty smirks onto their faces. "Cocked up sluts might wanna have a little fun. Come with us."
I feel anxious around them saying these things like they're actually normal.
"Get the fuck away from us. We didn't ask you to turn on us as stupid as you do." It's not hard to notice that Mary's getting angry at the men's behavior.
"Snippy little dumbass, now I want to fuck that cheekiness out of you as hard as I can, hearing you screaming my name, begging me to stop." he says, as he steps closer, I feel my stomach tighten, since his words remind me of what happened at my home an hour or two ago.
Mary furrows her brows, jumps up from the bench and not saying anything else to him, she just hits him right between his legs with her knee. He collapses. His face contorted with the pain he must feel. After that the others seem to not even dare to say something to us - well, at least not to Mary. I stayed quiet the whole time, just watching the whole scenario.
Mary doesn't even waste time when she grabs my arm and runs away with pulling me after her. Accidentally a laugh escapes my mouth as we run. She stops abruptly, turning her head to face me.
"Why are you laughing?" I have to breathe in a few times before I can say anything. "Haven't you seen their faces? It looked hilarious." I stop laughing as I see her seriousness in her facial expression.
"It's not funny, Claire. Everything that asshole said, he would've really done. These are the people belonging to the dark side of life, living for hurting others and to only care about themselves. They ruin people's lives." She looks worried stroking her thumbs over my cheeks when she cups my jaw with her hands. "An innocent person as loving as you needs to be protected. I will never let anything bad happen to you."
When she closes her speech I smile at her, appreciating what she just said to me. She gives me a short, but tight hug. "Let's go. We'll go to my place now." I nod my head as we start walking in the direction of her home.
We have such an intimate friendship that I wouldn't give away for anything in this world.
After a walk of 10 minutes we reach the house she lives in. She knocks on the front door, when her father opens it a few seconds later giving Mary a hug and greeting me with a 'hello'.
Actually Mary already has her own flat she lives in, but she still visits her parents on weekends, which I think is really sweet.
As we step through the door frame, her dad looks at Mary, seeming a little confused. "I expected you to arrive later today, honey. Why are you already here?"
Mary laughs, nodody knows why, but answers the question. "I'm already here, because I've visited Claire, obviously, and we wanted to hang out here." Her dad nods, but looking at her bewildered.
"And what's so funny about that?"
"Nothing, I was just thinking about a joke I've heard recently." Telling her dad about that, I guess she just expects him to question her which joke that was. As he does so, she answers.
"Okay, okay. Here it is. Why did the baboon ask the giraffe, why the long face?"
"I don't know, tell us." her dad utters.
"Because he thought his neck was his face." She almost explodes with laughter.
Her dad and I are smiling, not because the joke was funny but because it was the worst joke we've ever heard and seeing Mary laughing at it so badly.
"Wow, you two are really boring." she says still laughing. Her dad takes her hand, caressing it. "You've always had a thing for bad jokes, honey. I'm so happy to see you again! And you too, Claire! I have to go to work now. They wanted me this week to work on Saturday. So take care of you! See you later!"
And with these words he walked outside and closed the door behind him. Mary perceives my glum expression before she takes me with her into her old room.
She still has some of her clothes here.
I can tell by her grin that she has an idea what to do now or later.
She takes a chair from the corner of the room and puts it between us, pointing at it. "Take a seat." she commands me, as she takes another chair placing it in front of me. "I will be right back. Give me a moment to fetch something."
After I nodded she disappeared, coming back a few minutes later with a bag. "Let's get your make up done for the party!" Her voice sounds higher as usual, that means she's already extremely excited.
She looks so happy when she takes everything out of the bag she needs to do my make up with. Normally I hate make up, I don't wear it at all, but if I can make her content with that, I'll let her do it.
I don't even listen to her, when she lists the things she wants to put on my skin. I don't know anything about it anyway. I just try to relax myself and not think or worry about anything.
I trust Mary. I entrust her with my whole life. Thank god, she was there for me today.
***
Already excited for chapter 3?
I have a quick question for you guys:
What do you think about the length of the chapters I write? Is it okay for you?
Thanks for reading :)
All the love, H