CHANNELloids - Chaneru-Vision

By cybernostalgic02

21 0 0

(NOTE: this story is based on a SpongeBob SquarePants season 7 episode) Yoru stars in her own television show. More

Chaneru-Vision

21 0 0
By cybernostalgic02

(this story is based on a SpongeBob SquarePants season 7 episode)

[Episode starts at the night view of Burbank, California with a bird on the sign, then there's a view of the Chanerus' apartment, with a light now turned on. Yoru picks up a remote and sits on her couch]

Yoru Chaneru: All of the most intelligent programming starts before 6 AM. [clicks the remote]


Announcer: Our programming will begin shortly.


Yoru Chaneru: No, no, no. Take your time. It's worth the wait.


Announcer: KTLA Public Access presents: [Yoru claps her hands] "Rad and Retro," your source for the latest in vintage kitchen, collectible cassette tapes, [car beeps] and 1950s cars...


Yoru Chaneru: How sophisticated! [drinks empty cup of coffee]


Announcer: ...has been canceled! [buzzer sounds]


Yoru Chaneru: [spits out steam] Oh, yeah, I haven't made the coffee yet. [cuts to coffee maker as she makes the coffee] Why in the world would they cancel "Rad and Retro?" What could possibly be more enriching? [as she drinks her coffee, guitar music starts playing, the apartment starts shaking and Yoru spits out coffee] What?! [a person continues to play the guitar on TV. They'd then lit on fire, and then explodes and a title card comes up saying "The Guitar Lord".]


Fumen Chaneru: Hey. I'm Fumen the Guitar Lord. I don't have a guitar yet. But if I did, I would want a really killer one like this! [pulls out a paper, showing a red guitar]


Yoru Chaneru: [scoffs, in an angered tone] They obviously doesn't know the first thing about music! This is an outrage!


Fumen Chaneru: [shows their phone number: "1-32G-LORD"] So, here's my number if you want to talk about... [phone rings] Hello?


Yoru Chaneru: [angrily] Where is my "Rad and Retro?!"


Fumen Chaneru: Your... what?


Yoru Chaneru: I'm quite certain you wouldn't know culture if it bit you on the guitar!


Fumen Chaneru: Uh... hummm... I don't have a guitar.


Yoru Chaneru: Do they just give a show to just anybody over there?


Fumen Chaneru: Pretty much. My mom gave me this one for my birthday.


Yoru Chaneru: [surprised] Really?


Fumen Chaneru: Yeah. I wanted a guitar or a star named after me... but you know, whatever. I guess a TV show is cool.


Yoru Chaneru: It's that easy? [hangs up the phone and dials a number] Hello? KTLA Public Access? [excitedly] Give me a TV show! Give me a TV show! I want a show! [cut to McDonald's later] Come on! Just a few more minutes, Yoru, and it will be your turn to bask in the lime light! [laughs]


Orenji Chaneru: Ohhh, yeah! Oh, lime light basking! Baskin' in the lime light! [laughs] Oh, good times. Good times. [turns to Yoru] So, where will said basking take place?


Yoru Chaneru: [angrily] Like, I would tell you! Hmph... [thinking] Although, I've waited my whole life to have enough glory to rub it in someone's face. Anyone's face. [turns to Orenji who winks. She shivers.] Even that face. Okay! I'll tell you, but the last thing I would want is for you to show up so plug your ears! [shoves Big Macs in Orenji's ears] Well, I don't want to toot my own whistle, but... Wait, no! That's exactly what I mean to do! [Orenji hears Yoru mumbling and laughing. Clock ticks to 8:00 PM and a bell rings] Oh! [rushes off]


Orenji Chaneru: Say again, Yoru? [Yoru laughs as she runs home]


Announcer: KTLA Public Access presents: "Yoru Chat!" With your host: Yoru Chaneru.


Yoru Chaneru: [in her basement] Greetings. I'm Yoru Chaneru, your host of "Yoru Chat". [Tanki is seen watching TV at the living room. She pushes a button on the remote.] [off-Screen] Today, on Yoru Chat, we'll be discussing something near and dear to my heart, under-appreciated artists like myself. [Orenji sees Yoru on TV]


Orenji Chaneru: Yoru's on TV? [screams and rushes to the basement] Yoru! Yoru! [pants and then rushes into the basement, but goes back out, knocks and then goes inside. She pants as she approaches Yoru] Yoru, you're on TV! [Yoru frowns] No, really, Yoru, come look!


Yoru Chaneru: I know I'm on TV! See the camera? [They both look at a camera] You're on TV too! [Orenji stares at the camera]


Orenji Chaneru: TV? [leaves happily]


Yoru Chaneru: Moron. As I was saying, today, on Yoru Chat, we'll be discussing...


Kyoku Chaneru: Wow! [Orenji enters with Kyoku]


Orenji Chaneru: So I ran to tell Yoru that she was on TV and she told me that I was on TV and now you're on TV!


Kyoku Chaneru: I'm on TV?! [rushes back to the living room and turns on the TV]


Yoru Chaneru: This isn't happening!


Kyoku Chaneru: I'm not on TV! [rushes back into the basement] Orenji! I went home and turned on my TV, but... I wasn't on the TV. Why did you lie to me, Orenji? Why?


Yoru Chaneru: [annoyingly] Kyoku, just how dumb are you?


Kyoku Chaneru: It varies.


Yoru Chaneru: If you want to be on TV, you have to be in front of the camera!


Kyoku Chaneru: Ohhh. I get it! [rushes to camera, giggling] Hi, TV people! [puts his face on the lens, then shows his mouth] And my mouth is on TV! [a live action shot of the inside of a person's mouth is shown on a television set]


Obasan Chaneru: This is disgusting!


Kyoku Chaneru: [licks and bites the lens] Orenji! You gotta try this! [they both play with the camera and laugh]


Yoru Chaneru: Kyoku, Orenji, get off my camera! [gets Kyoku off the camera, but Kyoku falls onto Yoru and Yoru growls and pushes Kyoku off of her] Would you get out of here?


Kyoku Chaneru: [scratching his head] Doubt it. [Yoru slaps her head and sighs]


Yoru Chaneru: If you like the camera so much, why don't you be the camera man?


Kyoku Chaneru: Camera man?


Yoru Chaneru: That means you take all the pretty pictures. [makes air quotes]


Kyoku Chaneru: All right!


Orenji Chaneru: Ooh, ooh! Whoo! Whoo! Let me do something too, please?!


Yoru Chaneru: Fine. You can be the soundwoman. [hands Orenji a boom microphone]


Orenji Chaneru: [amazed as an angelic choir sings] Soundwoman...


Yoru Chaneru: Imbeciles! [clears throat] Today, we're going to be talking about... [the camera is aimed at a still painting of Yoru] Why isn't the camera on me? [Kyoku moves it to another painting] No! I'm the one talking! [Kyoku moves the camera around, Yoru growls and jumps in front of the camera] I'm right here! Ahem! Today on Yoru Chat... we'll be discussing the under-appreciated arts. [sits down] Kyoku, I'm down here! [Kyoku lowers camera] As I was saying, today, we'll be... [Kyoku moves the camera up and down once] Today... [Kyoku moves the camera up and down repeatedly and Yoru growls]


Kyoku Chaneru: [as he moves the camera up and down] Upsy-daisy! Downsy-wounsy! Upsy-daisy! Downsy-wounsy! [Yoru growls, gets up, walks up to Kyoku, and ties him to the camera]


Yoru Chaneru: [sits back down] Now then, I was going to tell you about my fabulous... [Orenji lowers boom microphone into the scene, hits it on Yoru's head and puts it in her mouth] Oren...! [the microphone hits Yoru in the face and she growls]


Orenji Chaneru: It's heavy! [Yoru grabs it and places it in Orenji] Thanks! But it itches. [Cut to Kuroi seeing Yoru on TV]


Kyoku Chaneru: [off-screen] I gotta go potty!


Kuroi Chaneru: Yoru has her own TV show?


Yoru Chaneru: Well, you'll just have to hold it, Kyoku! Now, if there are no more interruptions... [Kuroi holds a sign that says "Black Lives Matter" in front of the camera]


Kuroi Chaneru: No justice, no peace! No justice, no peace! [Yoru gets up] And remember, black Lives does Matter!


Yoru Chaneru: Out! [pushes Kuroi out and comes back, groans and sighs in relief]


Kuroi Chaneru: [comes back in] Black lives matter! Take action to support the movement! [cut to Kuni seeing the show]


Kuni Chaneru: Whee, doggy! I can line-dance better than that! [goes in front of the camera and dances] Yee-haw!


Gakushi Chaneru: Ooh, girl! I'm borrowing your wallet! [sees Kuroi and Kuni dancing on TV] Line dancing? Eww! That is so lame. What they need is my way cool cheer routine. [falls onto Yoru's desk, breaking it in half] What's up, bitches?! [cuts to Rekishi at her bedroom watching the show]


Rekishi Chaneru: Oh, please. I can cause far more collateral damage than that! [walks off] Okyan, where'd you put my laser gun?


Gakushi Chaneru: Pull up in a demon, on God! Lookin' like I still do fraud! [Rekishi appears on camera, laughs evilly and starts firing lasers around the house, breaking two paintings in the process]


Kyoku Chaneru: [laughs as he rocks the camera up and down] My shorts are wet! [lasers fly by him]


Gakushi Chaneru: [as camera pans at Kuni, then at Gakushi, and then at Kuroi] I said, certified freak! Seven days a week! Wet-ass pu**y! Make that pull-out game weak, woo! [Rekishi then fires at Kuroi]


Rekishi Chaneru: And don't forget to go to the Smithsonian Museum! [Kuroi pushes her away]


Kuroi Chaneru: No justice, no peace! No justice, no peace!


Yoru Chaneru: [sadly] Nooo! My show! [sniffles and sobs]


Orenji Chaneru: [rises from behind the desk along with her arms and then rubs Yoru's back] You seem tense. [Yoru growls]


Yoru Chaneru: [groans and pushes Orenji away] Cut that out! [gets angry and her face turns red] That's it! Everyone, out! [everybody stops what they're doing] What do you think this is, huh? Some kind of housewarming?!


Stimpy: [as Yoru frowns] Did somebody say housewarming? Hey, everyone! It's a housewarming! [All the Nicktoons come into apartment. Yoru notices everyone talking as a limousine pulls up and Ninki comes out]


Yoru Chaneru: Get off my set! This is not working! [Ninki comes in]


Ninki Chaneru: Actually, I'd say the show is doing just fine. [approaches Yoru] At least according to our latest ratings. [pulls out a bag of money, big at first, but then zooms out to show that the bag is tiny. She then laughs, coughs and clears her throat] This is actually a lot by public access standards. Everyone is working out except for you... [points to Angelica Pickles] ...you... [points to Timmy Turner] ...you... [points to Ren Höek] ...and you! [points to Yoru]


Yoru Chaneru: Me? [now kicked out of the apartment. Cuts to Yoru in the bed frowning with a remote in her hand]


Announcer: And now, KTLA's top public access show for the last 20 weeks: [as horn toots] "Yoru's House Party!" With your host, Fumen the Guitar Lord.


Fumen Chaneru: Hey, hey, hey, Nicktoons. Are you ready to party Yoru style? [crowd cheers, applauds. Cuts to Yoru in her bed frowning] Thank you for making us number one because I was finally able to get... [shows their guitar on camera] ...a new guitar! Thanks, Yoru! [Yoru growls] Let's party! [As a curtain reveals Fumen, they begins to play guitar as audience cheers and applauds. The scene zooms out to show Kuni line-dancing, Orenji playing the keyboard, Kyoku playing the drums and Gakushi doing her cheer. Kuroi swings on a rope holding the sign that says "Black Lives Matter" as Rekishi is pressing buttons, which fire lasers. Cuts to TV, then to Yoru, who is shocked]


Yoru Chaneru: [as she stomps on the floor while holding a broom] Keep it down! I'm trying to sleep! [screams as the camera pans down on Fumen, rocks start falling from the ceiling. People continue to party around the apartment. Fades to black, ending the episode.]

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