Amy came home and thought to herself that wasn't to bad. It was actually nice. It was better than the last 2 and she felt a bit better about it this time but not completely better though.
He seemed pretty nice and he wasn't to bad to have for company. She got dressed into her nightgown and got ready for bed wondering if she was going to fall asleep tonight.
She was up for a couple of hours and she didn't know the toll it would take on her to go back into the dating world. She forgot what it was like to date again. She forgot how nerve wracking it is. Eventually her eyes started becoming heavy and she fell asleep.
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Somewhere through the late morning, Bernadette gave her a call asking if Penny and her wanted to hang out at her house. Amy had some errands to run so she was going to be a bit late but she agreed.
She hasn't told Penny and Bernie about her going on dates yet. She didn't want to make it more confusing,her emotions are all over the place and she didn't know where to start when trying to make everything feel better and move on.
Of course she would tell them eventually but just not now. She felt bad but it was just something she needed to do. She ran all the errands she needed and did some paperwork for work so she can start a new research project which would keep her occupied for the next couple of weeks . She headed to Bernie's place and was greeted by Penny who arrived there earlier,Bernie and Stuart.
They were speaking about some dating app that Stuart was on and they wanted her to try it. She wasn't really interested to be quite honest but she couldn't tell her friends that she already started dating just yet. She still wanted time to process it for herself first. So she played along as she knew they wouldn't really find a great guy so quickly that would meet both their standards and it would make them feel better about themselves. So it was a win win situation.
Howard and Raj came home early and decided to help find a guy for Amy. So everyone was huddled together to see the phone and Amy was just sitting there alone across the room. She was the only one who wasn't interested. She has been on dates not because she wants to but because it was healthy to move on. The guy she saw last night wasn't a bad guy but she didn't feel an immediate connection like she did with Sheldon.
She never believed in love at first sight and she still didn't. She doesn't believe it was love she felt but she felt something when she first met him that she didn't feel with any other person. They were both two peas in a pod. They had so much in common and he made her life better.
She didn't know that day how much that coffee date was going to change her life.She liked being alone but she liked that she had people to count on now. She met her 'family' in a way and she could trust every single one of them with her life. She didn't regret meeting Sheldon,he brought something into her life that she will forever thank him for. She found her people because of him. She actually forgot the feeling of being alone because of him.
There was no way another guy could compete with that but she had to find someone that could make her feel even a fraction of what she felt with Sheldon.
She started to get annoyed when they started making it a game. She knew they would but it annoyed her a little that they didn't take this as serious as she did. This was a big deal for her but they didn't see that,they didn't really understand. Amy asked for her phone back but they were still laughing at the screen. She felt left out but she was involved in this. She wanted to change the subject but decided to just let them have their fun.
Why was this so hard ? Why did breakups have to ruin a person? Why did people want to date when they knew the outcome? She didn't understand humans anymore and the use for dating but she kind of did in a way because dating was mostly based on one thing. Not being alone,having someone there to fill the empty space in their life . She got that part at least.
She remembered all those little feelings she got when she was with Sheldon. The butterflies in her stomach and the way her heart used to beat a little faster when his beautiful light blue eyes looked back into hers,the way her lips used to tingle when he pressed his lips onto hers. The feeling she got when she hugged him and could smell his scent that no other man had. She loved every feeling and she craved it . It made her feel alive and not alone. Maybe that is also why people date but is it worth it in the end if there is a big chance for a break up ? Is all those feelings worth it ?
She missed those feelings and she missed Sheldon alot. She missed everything about him. She was broken out of her thoughts once the gang sat on the couch with the phone connected to the TV now and they all had their beers. They were playing a drinking game on her dating life. Really ? Eventually she realised she would have played the game to so again she didn't complain .
They were making a big joke of everyone who showed up on the screen and laughing but Amy felt bad for those people. All they wanted was love and they were being mocked, they didn't even know about it. What if other people were doing the same to her picture. That thought made her feel more lonely and sad.
"Amy,you have a message"Penny said as they heard the notification go off on her phone .
Oh no !! no no no ! She was scared it was Dave from last night and her fears were right. She got up and told everyone not to read it but they did so anyway . All she could feel was her cheeks getting hot and she was probably going red. There goes waiting a while,Amy thought in her head.
She eventually sat down again and tried to explain everything to everyone's shocked faces. Penny and Bernie looked a little disappointed that she didn't tell them. Amy felt bad and felt sick to her stomach a little at the thought of disappointing her friends.
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After they cleared everything up and gave the phone back they decided to get lunch which everyone agreed to. Amy stopped the girls in the kitchen before heading out to stop the sickness she felt of guilt.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you but it wasn't because I didn't want to it was just that dating again feels so weird and confusing.I don't know why I'm doing this anyway but I know I need to and I just didn't want to make it more confusing for me."Amy said trying to explain but Bernie and Penny had an understanding expression.
"Sweetie,we understand. Don't worry about it.We know how tough this break up has been on you and we not going to put you on the spot or anything."Penny said.
Bernadette followed Penny and said :" yeah,we are always going to be here for you no matter what and we are sorry for putting you on the spot today about dating ,we just needed something good to come out of this. It has also been a little hard for some of us to watch you guys in pain like this but we want the best for you both. "
Amy smiled and nodded. They had a group hug before catching up with the guys for lunch. Amy felt a little better knowing they were always there for her and they understood. She felt so grateful for them and she didn't know what she would do without them to be quite honest.
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After a couple of days,Amy decided to go out with Dave again. He wasn't to bad and like she said to herself,she is trying to move on . That afternoon,Sheldon left her a voicemail. This was the first contact in so long that he had with her. He was speaking to her again.
She played the voicemail and hearing his voice again brought back the butterflies that she felt in her stomach. She missed his voice. She forgot how he sounded when he was happy. Her heart felt full in that moment. She didn't want it to end really if she was being honest. She could listen to him forever. His little laugh in the end was just what she needed to hear and it made her day.
He was really excited about the documentary on Spock and he was so excited he shared it with her. She loved that he did and she was heartbroken she couldn't be there to see it all . She got another text from Dave confirming the time for their date that night and Amy didn't feel those same butterflies she felt earlier when she got the message.
Later that evening she got ready for the dinner and she wasn't really excited for it but she tried at least . Dave was a couple minutes late on picking her up which she had to get used to because Sheldon was always so early. She had to stop comparing him to Sheldon. He wasn't Sheldon and it was unfair for him. She broke up with Sheldon for a reason and she would have to just move on whether she liked it or not.
They got to the restaurant and they spoke a little. They had a little bit in common so they went into detail on it. Amy was counting down the seconds till she could go home and be comfortable again.
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It was a nice dinner, she couldn't really complain and he was even nice enough to walk her to the entrance of her apartment building. He kissed her lightly on the lips ,it was quick . Amy didn't quite like the idea that someone else kissed her other than Sheldon but again like she said it wasn't a bad kiss and it was just something she would have to get used to.
She constantly felt like someone was watching her and as she left to walk through the door she swore she saw someone with the same jacket as Sheldon. She walked back out and looked around but there was no one other than some strangers. No Sheldon. Maybe it was all in her head she thought but she couldn't help but feel disappointed. She couldn't shake this feeling that something big was supposed to happen tonight and she missed it but again she ignored it.
Penny gave her a call and asked if it was okay for Bernie and her to come through tonight. Amy said yes of course as she would love the company to be quite honest with herself.
As Penny and Bernie arrived,Penny couldn't keep her eyes off Amy's hands, she looked a little bit sadder than normal. She wondered what was going on with her. They talked as normal and had a little wine like a normal girls night.
Amy let the girls know that she was with Dave and that was all she would give them even though they asked a million questions anyway.
The night carried on and Amy went to the bathroom. Penny was being very weird and Amy couldn't tell why.
"What!!" a yell came out of Bernie's mouth and she could hear that Penny immediately shushed her.
Amy quietly left the bathroom and the barrier of the wall was covering her from being seen by Bernie and Penny. She could now hear everything they were saying.
"Really ? Sheldon,the guy that acts like a robot was really going to propose to Amy."Bernie said now in a whisper.
"yeah he was pretty broken up about it today and he yelled in front of everyone . He was so sad and I felt so bad for him. I didn't know how much he was hurting until now." Penny said also in a low voice.
He was going to propose to her. She worried that he didn't commit to her but he was willing to spend the rest of his life with her. He thought marriage was unnecessary of proving your love to someone but he was going to do exactly that for her. How could she have been so stupid. Why wasn't she just patient for a little while longer then she wouldn't have to feel this way and she wouldn't have to constantly wonder what Sheldon was doing or how he was feeling. She would just know because she was near him.
She couldn't believe this. She went back to the bathroom and sat on the floor. The tears just came and they didn't stop. She couldn't stop them now. She thought he was doing better . How could she have been so stupid. She knew Sheldon and he covered his emotions until he snapped. He didn't want to be emotional or irrational. Of course he wasn't doing well with this.
She was so upset and angry at herself. She could've been lying in his arms right now. She couldn't stop the tears from falling. She took deep breaths and eventually calmed herself down. She couldn't let Penny and Bernie know that she knew what they said. She looked in the mirror and wiped all her tears.
She went back into the living room again and made some tea. She got used to tea being her comfort when she was sad as Sheldon only knew to make tea when she was sad. She made tea for the other two girls and tried to stop the never ending thoughts in her mind.
How was she going to do this now ? How was she going to pretend that she didn't know ? How was she going to move on now knowing that she could have been with Sheldon but blew it ?
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You didn't expect that plot twist did you ? This chapter was a little sadder which I apologise for but I will give you something fluffy in the next chapter to make up for it. The next chapter will be the last chapter in Amy's pov then I am going to do it in Sheldon's pov. So you can choose to read his to if you want. I just talk about how he felt and made it really short.
Anyway I hope you liked this chapter and thank you so much for sticking around this far . I hope to see you in the next chapter and hope you are all well.
Please let me know what you thought about it in the comments :) .