*°࿐
━━019,
you'll find, the glimmer in your eye!
Friends are stars and the black velvet in any dark night, bringing comfort within whatever reality one finds themselves in.
Adalaine Airoldi, Sarah Cameron, and Kiara Carrera. They were stars together, they lit up the skies for one another when the clouds emerged and storms brewed.
They all had each other. Until of course, they didn't.
One by one, the light that burned bright and kept them tethered burned out, turning into stardust that flittered towards the ground in untraceable debris without a single explanation as to why Adalaine was left alone.
Sure, the Airoldi girl wasn't alone per say, as Kiara was still a constant in her life.
But it wasn't the same without the Kook princess, as she was the one who brought them all together in the first place.
Would Adalaine have met the curly-haired beauty without the help of the blonde? Would she have ever gotten a job at The Wreck? Would Mike never be that father-figure she so desperately needed?
Was everything that Adalaine appreciated after her best friend left, all because of Sarah Cameron in the first place?
That was what tormented her mind as she sat on the deck of the boat with Kie by her side and the blonde Kook in front of her, equally as restless over their situation that had been forced on them by the Pogue boys.
She had a feeling something was suspicious when Pope had picked the two up earlier that day, but she was far too tired and restless to think carefully on the situation. And when Jj wrapped his arm around the brunette's waist for just a few minutes as Kiara talked to John B, she was far too distracted by his smooth voice and warm body to wonder why the two boys couldn't have done it themselves.
Kiara and Sarah had been arguing for the last ten minutes, and Adalaine was grateful enough to have the talent to block them out. The brunette had been smoking a joint by herself, the marijuana was burning her insides and she was desperate for water, but that would require going into the cabin, and Addy was certain that if she left, Kiara would throw the blonde Kook off of the boat.
Despite how much Adalaine can't stand Sarah, despite the years of never feeling good enough. Wishing harm upon the girl was wrong, and if anything did happen to her, the young Airoldi girl wouldn't know what to do with herself.
"What did I even do?!" Sarah exclaims, her voice breaking causes Adalaine's gaze to snap over to the blonde. "Whatever I did... I'm sorry, okay?"
Adalaine squeezes her eyes shut tightly until she can see stars behind them. Perhaps it was out of desperation for some sort of courage, or maybe in a stupid attempt to ignore the looming conversation. But whatever, she opens them a few seconds later and blinks away the brief daze.
With one more moment of courage, she takes a deep breath and joins the conversation. A conversation that runs through her mind a dozen times over the last year, but no surprise, it comes off harsher than Adalaine's usual soft demeanor. "You- you broke my heart, Sarah. Don't you get that? I needed you so badly and you dropped me like I hadn't held your hair back when you puked after drinking too much. It was like we hadn't been friends for years, going on vacations and sneaking out together,"
"Addy-" The blonde Kook says, her mouth parted slightly in surprise.
"I loved you, Sarah. And it's stupid- I-I should've known that you'd never think of me the same way... and I was starting to accept that too. But then you ditched us, and it wasn't even the fact that it was a stupid birthday party," Adalaine says, hiccuping slightly as the tears roll down her cheeks. "It was that, when I was falling apart and your brother was helping me destroy myself, you didn't stop either of us,"
"I swear I didn't know-"
"You were at that party," Kiara mumbles. "Adalaine texted me all this shit and I knew something was wrong. And then I went and I saw her leaning against Rafe, completely out of it. You were there Sarah, but you didn't bat an eye,"
"I needed you then and dozens of times since then." The brunette admits, her hand shakes slightly at the memories of her past. "But I accepted that you left and wanted nothing to do with me or Kie. But now you're here and I don't know what to do,"
"I had no idea Addy, I'm- i'm so sorry,"
"Yeah," Adalaine speaks softly yet bitterly. "Me too,"
"Why- why didn't you tell me?" Sarah asks quietly, her gaze trained at the ground instead of the girl sitting vulnerable with her heart wide open.
"Sarah-" the curly-haired girl begins to protest, not wanting Adalaine to hurt herself with her own words.
"It's okay Kiwi," she says softly. "I didn't say anything because would that have even changed anything? Be honest with yourself Sarah,"
"But your mom," Sarah begins, thinking back to the dinner the week prior. Along the other few conversations she and Adalaine had about Amelie. Frankly, guilt was coarsing through her veins and she felt so stupid for not reading more into it. "Has it always been that bad?"
"I didn't say anything because you needed my mom. Yeah we talked shit about her, but at the end of the day, she was a mother-figure for you- more than Rose ever will or could be. I couldn't do that to you. She tore me down so deeply yet did everything to lift you up, and I didn't want to ruin whatever you had,"
Sarah's expression falls, guilt now churning in her stomach as she looks away in shock. She had no inkling to how Addy had felt, for she thought that Amelie's compliments were harmless - but that was only the case when she was the one receiving the positive words while Adalaine had to bear the brunt of the backhanded comparisons.
Looking at Adalaine, she had no idea of what the girl had been going through, and all of Amelie's compliments for the past years ran through her head at the sight of Adalaide's eyes glazing over. Suddenly, all the positive notes that had fed Sarah's confidence had disappeared, and she was analyzing every single compliment to realize that while Amelie built the blonde Kook up, she had been tearing her own daughter down.
But what could she do now?
Apologize?
Would that even be enough? And now, Sarah Cameron had tears falling down her face, as every small comment and critique from Amelie's mouth to Aadalaine seemed to burn, ache, and find a home in Sarah's chest.
"I'm so fucking sorry Adalaine,"
"It happens-"
"Stop invalidating yourself Ads," Kiara scolds softly
"Kie's right," the blonde whispered. "I- I should've realized it sooner. I can't believe i never heard it."
"Why would you?" Addy scoffs lightly, trying to come off as intimidating even though her voice wavers. "You're Sarah fucking Cameron- Kook princess. Of course my mom wouldn't find anything to criticize."
"But you're Adalaine Airoldi.'' Kiara jumps in, desperate to let her own feelings fall into the cold, salty water. "The smartest girl on Kildare, with the softest heart and most loving eyes,"
"I've missed you. Both of you guys," Sarah says, her gaze falling back onto the two girls. "I need you guys. More than I thought I would"
"So why did you do it then?" the tone in Adalaine's normally warm voice makes her flinch, lips parting in surprise as the curly-haired girl throws her a cautious glance. "Why how could you do that to us then?"
"When...when people get close to me, I feel trapped. And I bail. And then I blame them for it. I'm really sorry-i can't believe i even did that to you"
"Why me?" Adalaine asks, her voice cracking.
"It was easier to leave you both," Sarah says with a small sigh, regret and sadness intertwined with her smooth voice. Though at the same time, it felt as though pounds of burden left her shoulder the second the words fell from her lips, causing her to visibly shrink down. "I-i panicked,"
"So you did that to us... because we were the easy choice? because- because we were the first people that actually wanted to know Sarah instead of the princess? Do you even hear how shitty that sounds?"
"I know, Adalaine! God, i know i don't deserve your forgiveness, but I just- I really want things to go back to how they were."
"I'm tired of letting people walk over me." Adalaine exclaims, though it feels more of a beg at this point. "I'm so fucking tired of it. I can't handle a lot, you know that,"
"I-i'm not gonna hurt you guys again," the blonde girl says, looking between the two. "I promise,"
"Promises don't mean anything to you," Adalaine says, she tries to keep her head held high. But she couldn't help but feel slightly guilty for being so rude.
"Okay, I deserve that. But I swear I'll be better. I'll show you guys."
Silence looms over the three teens, exhaustion and the effects of marijuana running through their systems, causing them to all lay back down on the boat floor. Adalaine shuffles around for a few minutes, her back almost immediately aching. Luckily for her, she was close enough to Kiara for the curly-haired girl to put a hand on the brunette's arm and rub a few soothing circles.
It didn't cause the ache to go away, but it was a distraction enough for Adalaine. And eventually, she moves to interlock their hands together, giving a tight squeeze before closing her eyes.
She didn't go to bed, no her mind was still running wild with thoughts about Sarah. For the most part, she felt relief, but there was still a small part weighing on her- is she too kind and forgiving?
Will Sarah Cameron disappoint Adalaine again?
Because frankly, Adalaine thinks too much and feels too deeply. Could she handle another change or brunt reality?
Her mind that was running on fumes was quickly distracted by the soft and tired voice of Kiara who had lifted herself up onto her elbows to see the blonde girl better.
"Hey, Sarah," Kie says quietly after a while, her grasp still holding onto Adalaine's cold and dainty hand, giving them a soft squeeze. The brunette sits up a little straighter as well, moving as close to Kiara as possible.
"Hey, Kiara," Sarah whispers back.
"Promise me that you won't bail on John B. He's not just...some other guy, and he really, really likes you,"
"I won't,"
"Promise me," Kie says.
"Promise us," Adalaine emphasizes and Sarah lets her eyes fall down onto their intertwined hands. Normally, it would cause the brunette to panic, but not this time, instead, she squeezes Kiara's hand and leans against the curly-haired girls shoulder.
"I promise," Sarah says and they all let out a big sigh.
"Also, I'm sorry we called the cops," Kie says and Adalaine quickly lets go, letting her hand draw up to cover her escaped laugh.
"I knew it!" Sarah exclaims.
"Kiwi! We promised to never tell anyone!"
"I couldn't live with it anymore!" The curly-haired girl exclaims, and Adalaien tilts her head up towards the ocean of stars above them, laughter shaking through her core.
God, how she had missed them together.
Sarah leans forward and smacks both of their legs, but the large smile of the blonde girls face shows that she's long over the incident. "You bitches!"
Though it feels so warm and welcoming, Adalaine can't help but feel like she's in the wrong place- like the comfort isn't meant for her. The silence causes her to lose herself, though she stays in the security next to Kiara. Adalaine closes her eyes and listens to the soft breathing of the curly-haired girl, doing her best to feel at home in the unknown setting of the marsh.
*°࿐
When the dawn comes and the light touches the muddy water and dewy land, the three teens slowly rub their eyes. Sleep was a small factor in their night, and it felt as though they had blinked and it was morning. Kiara and Sarah stay rooted in the comfort of their blankets, but Adalaine stands and leans against the boat railing to capture the beauty.
The flowers by the water are more complex than just a simple bloom, because the plants stretch confidently into the rays of the new fresh sun. The gold rays spill onto the boat and onto Adalaine's soft features, a small feeling of becoming new. She finds herself stretching into the direction of the sunny rays.
"You think the boys will come back soon?" Kiara asks through a tired voice.
"I will personally murder all of them if we are still sitting here in twenty minutes," Sarah groans her, falling back down onto the makeshift bed.
"Lucky for us," Adalaine replies, soft yet loud enough for the two others to hear. She nods her head in the distance of a small boat heading towards them. "I think they're here,"
The three girls quickly get their stuff organized before sitting down on the railing."Don't give them the satisfaction that this worked," Kie says while they are still out of earshot.
"Of course not," Sarah says and Adalaine agrees with a soft smile.
"You gotta admit," John B yells as the boys get closer. "it was funny,"
"Mastermind, really?" Kie asks.
"I'm always planning," He responds smugly.
"Some patriarchal bullshit," Kie rolls her eyes, but catches the rope that Jj throws anyway.
Sarah gets into the boat with the help of the brunet before pushing him away slightly. "Yeah that sucked,"
"Still love us though right?" Jj asks, offering up his hand to Adalaine who takes it quickly. His hand wrapping around her waist as she steadies herself on the crowded boat.
"You are a pain sharkboy,"
"Just for you, Lavagirl,"
"You know," Sarah says with a teasing tone, causing Adalaine and Jj to break apart. "The three of us are gonna get you back when you least expect it,"
"Oh yea, sleep with your eyes open," Kie says. Pointing to the three boys.
"I welcome that challenge in fact," Pope says smiling wide. "But did you guys, you know.."
"Reconcile our differences?" Kie finishes for him.
"Absolutely not," Adalaine says, moving so she's standing closer to the two girls.
"Yeah not even close," Sarah agrees, "But we're... willing to work together,"
"Wiggedy-wiggedy-wiggedy!" Pope says excitedly, doing a quick handshake with Jj.
"It's the hydroponic, I'm telling you!" Jj exclaims.
"You know what? That's victory," John B says smiling. "You guys ready to jack someone up?"
As they continue down the marsh, the blond boy wonders back over to Adalaine. Exhaustion from the night was starting to affect her more, and she leaned tiredly against the boat. He puts an arm around her, pulling her closer as the speed of the boat picks up- so does the wind. "I am sorry for ditching you Nia,"
"It's okay Jj," she says, having to talk loud enough over the wind. "I might even have to thank you for it,"
"Please don't boost his ego Ads," Pope says.
"You're right francis," Adalaine says with a laugh before looking up at Jj. "Apology accepted shark boy,"
Jj leans forward and whacks Pope upside the head, along with a few muttered curse words under his breath. His other hand doesn't leave Adalaine's side, and she can't help but love the feeling.
It only took a few more minutes for them to get back to the chateau. Quickly they started cleaning up the boat, and putting things away. With the plan not in motion for another eight hours, Adalaine was unsure of how to spend her time.
As if Jj could sense her uncertainty, he grabbed the last bag of half eaten snacks and joined her as she headed back towards the small house. "We're all gonna hang out until dark, you wanna join?"
A small frown formed on her soft features. It wasn't that she didn't want to hang out with them, it was more the fact Adalaine was exhausted, but frankly she couldn't go home either. Regardless, her voice speaks before she can reason with her own anxieties. "Yeah...um- maybe later?"
"You okay Nia?" Jj questions, grabbing her hand with his own, stopping her from walking into the house, concern evident in his eyes.
"Promise," she responds, forcing a smile with her tired eyes. "I'll come back later,"
With her backpack around on her back, she gives a small squeeze to his hand before letting go and rushing down the steps. Adalaine looks back once, with a small wave to the rest of the crew before walking down the driveway and towards the cut.
Adalaine had no idea where she was going, home was not an option. The fear of her mother or brother being there was almost enough for her to retreat back to join the others. But she shakes it off, she needed a moment or two for herself, and so she heads towards the left, down towards the beach, already thanking her previous self for pocketing one of the joints from the previous night.
*°࿐
The ocean shore was the poetry of one's dreamscape soul, for it built a heart of its hues, of those colors so optimistically bright and yet so gentle too.
Soft sky above, soles upon smooth stones and clouds caressed with reflected light. Lacy waves in steady rhythm echo through Adalaine's soft heart. The breeze and the joint that was now half smoked sits between her fingers, they both bring a long waited relief to her bones.
The ocean breeze coats her tan skin in a light mist of brine, leaving it salty yet she invites the cool moment anymore. As it's a rarity in Kildare during the heat of the summer.
Adalaine sits back and lets the sun seep into her bones, she closes her eyes to savor the moment. The warm sand falling between her fingers, for the first time in what feels like days, she's relaxed.
It wasn't until later, when she feels a shadow above her when she opens her eyes to see Jj Maybank with his surfboard standing over her with a big smile on his face. She lifts herself onto her elbows, putting her right hand over her eyes to cover the sun glare. "What are you doing here Jj?"
"I could ask you the same thing Nia,"
"Just thinking I guess," she shrugs, the effects of being high slowly going down. "Didn't want to go back home,"
"Yea, I can relate to that,"
"What're you doing here?" Adalaine wonders, "I thought you were with John B and the others?"
"Yeah, but then you never showed up, and seeing John B and Sarah together is still weirding me out, so I left to find you,"
"How'd you know i'd be here?"
"Lucky guess,"
"Are you going surfing?" Adalaine asks, feeling stupid almost immediately. Duh, he was going surfing! A soft rose color paints her cheeks, "do you want me to leave?"
"Nia," the blond deadpans, "it's a public beach"
"Well-"
"I want you to stay," Jj says softly, causing the brunette's eyes to widen in surprise. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, it's just... I haven't really heard that a lot,"
"That's a shame,"
"I know it's pathetic-"
"No, Nia," he quickly shakes his head, "it's a shame you don't hear it, 'cause you of all people deserve to."
His words cause a small flutter in her heart, but she can't bring herself from saying anything. Instead she shakes her head and softly says, "I don't mean to keep you from surfing"
"Nah," Jj waves his hand lazily towards the water. "the waves aren't great anyways,"
The two look out onto the water, where dozens of surfers were exclaiming about how perfect the waves were. "We both know that's a lie"
"Well, I've had enough surfing for a while,"
"Also a lie," Adalaine observes, his hair was barely wet. He practically lived at the beach, those words seemed wrong coming out of his mouth.
"Damn, Nia, just let me be civil for once,"
"Civil?"
"Yeah, you know, nice and stuff"
"You've always been civil," Adalaine urges, her brows furrowing in confusion.
"Okay, well- like sweet,"
"Just sit down sharkboy," Adalaine says with a small smile and Jj quickly drops the surfboard to the sand and he sits down next to her. A few lingering droplets of water from his leg falls onto her toned legs and she quickly realizes how large the open space around them is, but how close he sat.
The two sit in a comfortable silence, they watch the kids chase each other into the water with their parents quickly following after them. Their eyes stay trained out to the surfers, who are celebrating after a successful ride. The moment is so pure and so safe that Adalaine can't help from smiling widely.
She turns to look at the blond boy, who had already averted his gaze to her. He was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice. "What's on your mind Nia?"
"Just," Adalaine begins before taking a few moments, her eyes trailing back to the water before looking at him once more. "Thank you,"
"Me? There's no reason to be thanking me,"
"You keep being there for me. I didn't ask but its like you knew I needed someone," she speaks softly, "so thank you,"
Jj moves closer, placing his hand on top of hers. "It really is a shame that you don't know your own worth. I got you, always,"
Attraction swirls between them as invisible ropes, as if these chords are made of some sort of future love, vulnerability and laughter.
The young Airoldi girl feels her cheeks warm in slight embarrassment, unsure of the feeling squeezing at her chest, but as if Jj notices, he laces their fingers together, rubbing small circles on her skin in a reassuring gesture.
Adalaine had been displayed like a painting in a museum for her entire life, but at that moment, on the sand that she buried her toes in, it felt like for the very first time, she was being seen.
And through Jj Maybank's electric blue eyes, she was no longer a painting hidden in the corner. No, she was front and center and Jj couldn't help but view her as a priceless piece.
Just like she'd always been.
━━━━
hi hoes, it's me!
this is not good
my apologies
i'm pumped for
the next one though !
(calm before the storm ?)
lots of love,
nicole