Third person's POV.
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After a good lunch and an expensive dinner, Lisa resumes working the next day. After work, she meets Rosé for dinner and they were enjoying their mala (spicy) hotpot when gets a call from "Little Repressed Prince" on her handphone. The is referring to Jungkook since Lisa does not use actual names in her contacts.
"Hello Jungkook?"
"Lisa."
"Yes speaking."
"Schrödinger is asking if you are coming for dinner today."
In her mind's eye, Lisa can see actually see Schrödinger with his haughty face. He is probably pawing Jungkook right now as if to say "Owner, call that lisa and see if she is coming to snatch my dinner again. If she is, burn her at the stake!"
Giving an involuntary shudder, Lisa drops her hand phone. At the other end, Jungkook holds his phone away from his ear at the loud 'bang!'. After a beat, he hears her say "I shall spare you tonight and have dinner elsewhere."
Jungkook thinks that if she ever quit sales, she has a bright future as a professional beggar. He replies 'ok' and is about to hang up when she adds. "What are you cooking for dinner tomorrow? Shall I buy the ingredients?" Afraid he may not get her hint for dinner, she adds on meaningfully "You know what I mean right?"
"Of course. I am not mentally challenged."
They hang up and Lisa and Rosé continue with their meal. To Rosé, Jungkook is like a godly presence and she peppers her friend with tons of questions on her god. "How does he look like when he is cooking? Is he handsome? Do you have a picture? Even a candid shot of his back is fine."
Lisa honestly doesn't know. Jungkook is very good looking but he is spotting a swollen cheek and has a mark on he's face at the moment even after Days has passed – which she feels guilty whenever she sees it – so she avoids looking at him. In fact, she is more familiar with how Schrödinger looks than him.
Thinking of the cat, Lan Shan asks. "Have you heard of Schrödinger?"
"Yes I have. He is a bad, bad guy."
"Huh?"
"He looked a cat up in a gas chamber and then has the cheek to ask if the cat died after the experiment. What a sicko." Rosé has come across the name "Schrödinger" when she was researching on Jungkook. She does not understand what his testing is about and can only remember that it involves animal torture.
Rosé continues. "Tell me more about Mr JK. If I know more about him, there is still a chance I can woo him back for my company."
After Liss has told Rosé all that she knows, the latter looks more confused.
"Lisa, don't you find it weird?"
Although they have been friends for some time, Lisa has never fully understood Rosé's thought logic.
"In what way?"
"He is unattached! With his attributes, he is just like Tripitaka in "Journey to the West"! Why has no demoness appeared yet to capture him?"
"Perhaps he has not met anyone interesting?"
"No way. It must be his sexual orientation"
"?_?"
Rosé gives her a knowing look.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Mr.JK is probably that Buff man Namjoon's Lover"
Lisa nearly spills her drink. "What rubbish are you sprouting? Namjoon is his brother!"
"If they are real brothers, why do they have different surnames? Do they look alike?"
"Well...." Lisa shakes her head hesitantly. "Perhaps they are cousins? Or it could be that their family is very complex."
Rosé is adamant. "Nah, you have been hoodwinked. I have seen too many of such stories. Real blood brothers are more likely to keep a clean book of accounts between them. Only other kind of "brothers" is so generous."
Hmm, that sounds logical too. Afterall, Namjoon has just paid over RMB2m for a R8 without batting an eye.
Seeing that Lisa is wavering, Rosé continues. "Let me ask you a few questions. How is his taste like? Does he have conventional views on what is beautiful?"
Lisa thinks about Jungkook's chic apartment and dress sense. "I think he has good taste."
"Ah huh!" Rosé is even more convinced. "Straight guys usually have poor taste. Gays are usually the ones with good taste. Besides, you said it yourself – he keeps a cat."
"Yes... but that doesn't mean anything!"
"I read on the web that most guys who keep cats as pets are gay."
"Nonsense. Not everyone is like that."
"Of course not everyone is like that but just think of the probability! Given so many indicators – let us just assume that the truth element of each indicator is 80% – why just two reasons will give us 6400%!"
At Rosé's mathematics prowess, or lack of it, Lisa is more convinced than ever that her friend is totally off-base although she cannot erase a last silver of doubt.Lisa covers her ears. "I don't want to hear. I don't want to hear. I don't want to hear anymore!"
Rosé sips her orange juice and shakes her head. "Ay, mortals"
"..."
*******
After dinner with Rosé, Lisa stops by the supermarket to buy the ingredients for tomorrow's dinner. Frankly, she has half-forgotten what Jungkook has told her to buy so she just grabs whatever that strikes her fancy. In any case, she is not a fussy eater and will eat whatever he cooks so it should not matter what she buy.
When she knocks on the door of apartment 303, Jungkook has just finished giving Schrödinger a shower. With water dripping off the tips of its fur, Schrödinger cannot look intimidating even if he wants too, but he still looks very unwilling when Jungkook tries to blow dry its fur.
When Jungkook opens the door, Lisa marches in and proceeds to take out her purchases and puts them on his kitchen table. It only takes one look at her purchases for Jungkook to be displeased. "You have bought too much. It will be wasteful if we cannot finish all these."
On his second look,Junngkook becomes even more displeased.
ಠ_ʖಠ
"These ingredients are not fresh. Don't you know how to choose vegetables and meats?"
Of course not.... but Lisa merely smiles. "The supermarket is nearly closing when I reached there and these are all that is left."
Jungkookshakes his head although it is not clear if he is more disgusted with the ingredients or with her. "Dummy."
Looking at his dissatisfaction on such unimportant manners, Rosé's words came back to haunt Lisa.
>.<
Suddenly, she can see Jungkook in her mind's eye, pointing a lotus finger at her in a sissy pose.
⋋✿ ⁰ o ⁰ ✿⋌
... Mama mia!
Shaking her head to clear her rubbish thoughts, Lisa knows that it is time to keep more distance from Rosé.
Looking at her dazed behavior,Jungkook assumes that she is feeling guilty. Being a soft-hearted person, he is about to offer some words of consolation when Schrödinger has enough of being neglected and starts meowing and gives Lisa the chance to flee to her apartment.
* * * * *
Over the next few days, Lisa will pop over to Jungkook's place for dinner. Once when traffic is light,Jungkook is still cooking when Lisa arrives. Now that they are more familiar with each other, Lisa decides to wait in his spacious kitchen instead of the living room.
Jungkook is wearing a hippy head scarf and a sky-blue apron. Despite the awkward combination, he still look pretty good, which, Lisa summarizes, goes to show how important it is to have a handsome face. His eye has almost recovered and she may not have known, but some girls of Uni B have started a thread in their school's forum in an attempt to find the culprit who gave him a swollen face.
Looking at his suave profile, Lisa suddenly feels jealous of Jungkook. Heavens can be so unfair. Here is someone blessed with good looks, good built, holds a respectable job – one that does not take up a lot of his time to boot – and as if all of that is not enough, he is a good cook too!
She moves closer to take a better look at him and starts comparing him against Taehyung. One looks gentle and refined, the other manly and cool. Although both are good-looking, they really are good-looking in different ways.
Jungkook is totally focused on cooking and did not notice her presence until she clears her throat.
"What are you doing here?"
"I am.... just taking a look."
Jungkook is about to cut some washed garlic and points to the garlic accusingly. "This garlic is so not fresh!"
Lisa mentally rolls her eyes that he has not gotten over her marketing attempt. But then, what can she say when it is a fact?
"Umm... is there anything I can do for you?"
Jungkook does not intend to be formal with her. "Yes, help me retrieve my milk from the mailbox. The keys are in the bowl on the TV console."
When she reaches the TV console, his handphone started ringing. "Jungkook, your phone is ringing."
"Who is the caller?"
"It is from an unknown number."
Jungkook cannot be bothered with strange callers. "Please help me pick up the phone."
Lisa thinks that it is probably a telemarketer calling to try sell him something so she also thinks nothing of answering the call. "Hello?"
The call disconnected abruptly.
How strange. Maybe the signal at the other end is not good? Lisa does not give it more thought and goes downstairs to pick up the milk.
Dinner that night consists of herbal pork ribs, stir fry lotus root, salute vegetable in tomato sauce, salad, and radish with fish slice soup. Schrödinger is very pleased that day – probably because he finally has fish – so when Lisa pats his head after the meal, he does not protest.
Lisa is also happy. "Wow, I have not thought that vegetables can be cooked in tomato sauce, or that one can add fish slices to radish soup."
Jungkook is impassive. "Of course you will not know."
"Why is that?"
"Because you are dumb."
Lisa rolls her eyes. "Yo Handsome, can you be more creative when you are scolding someone?"
"I am not scolding anyone. I am merely stating facts."
Lisa sticks up her thumb. "See, this is what I call creative."
After dinner, Lisa washes some apples as dessert. When she passes some to Jungkook, he refuses to take any. Ignoring him, Lisa pops one slice of apple into her mouth. "Don't tell me that the apples are not fresh. Given the season, this is already pretty good."
Jungkook is not so easily pacified. "You are not sincere."
"How can you say that I am not sincere? Do have I have kneel and serve you in order qualify as sincere?"
A paring knife appears in his hand as if by magic. "You, peel the skin off the apple."
Lisa grumbles as she takes the knife. "You are too Fussy."
So Lisa peels the apple while Jungkook watches her like an Emperor surveying a palace maid. But not for long. Jungkook cannot stand her badly-peeled apples and more importantly, they are probably not going to have anything to eat other than the apple core at the way she is cutting, so he shoos her away and takes over. As he peels, he mutters an old saying to himself: "Smart people labors more; wise people worries more, those without capabilities worries for nothing."
Putting one evenly-peeled apple into her mouth, Lisa can only admire his talent. "I am wrong, you are not a mighty Emperor, you are a virtuous Mother-in-law."
No man likes to be compared to a woman and Jungkook glares at her. Lisa is cowed by his glare but Rosie's words pop into her mind again. Is he really....?
Seeing her questioning look, Jungkook asks: "What are you thinking about?"
"Have you ever picked the soap?"
Opps, Lisa is surprised at her own bluntness. How can she just speak what is on her mind?
Before she can rephrase her question, Jungkook answers candidly. "Yes I have."
Lisa jaw drops. Jungkook does not know why she looks so surprise and elaborates. "I have also picked up ice-cream before. Cotton candy, scarf, socks, torchlight...... even Schrödinger is picked up from the roadside."
Just when Lisa is thinking that Jungkook has finally learnt how to be more rounded in his speech, he continues. "For some reason, I have a penchant to pick up strange things."
He does not want to mention that the strangest thing that he has ever picked up is a packet of condoms. Because he was young and innocent then, he did not recognize what they were and even used them to blow balloons. When his father found out about that ... Jungkook thinks he will forever remember his father's expression.
He comes back to the present to find Lisa staring intently at him and slowly, he can feel his ears turning red. And Lisa stares at his flushed face, suddenly feels that she has accidentally stumbled upon a secret that she is not suppose to know.
A/N: I have no idea what does 捡肥皂 (jian fei zao) or "pick the soap" means when I read the book, although the author claims it is a well-known online phrase. After googling for the term, let me summarizes my findings with an illustration:
pick the soap
Do let your imagination run wild (and think crocked!!) as you look at the picture. I think this picture will be more impactful if the legs have more hair so as to leave short-sighted readers like me no doubt that we are looking at 2 men in a bathroom.
Also what do you think of Jimin and Jennie's characters? Let me Know.
See you next time!
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