⚠️Trigger warning. Mentions of self harm and abuse⚠️
*i look down and sigh*
'You know.. um.. i feel like you need to know this.. since.. you know.. well um.. i did it again'
'Did what again George?'
*i roll up my sleeves and look away*
'I know.. you don't when i do this.. Sapnap doesn't like it either... i just.. i got really scared during the night.. and had a bit of a.. panic attack. And Sapnap was sleeping.. and i uh... just.. i don't know i wanted to calm down the way i used to before.. it helped me relax and just feel a bit of happiness.. but i'm fine i promise it was just a one time thing.. please don't be disappointed.. i'm sorry..'
*god damn those tears wanting to come out again. No stay in don't dare to come out*
'I'm not disappointed George.. maybe concerned but not disappointed.. you did what you thought was right at the moment and calmed yourself down and that's what matters the most okay? Self harm is an addiction which is hard to just stop so relapsing is normal. Feeling frustrated it's normal so you don't have to bring yourself down over this... just to know i'm really proud of you'
*i smile and hug him tight. I literally love Dream so much. And Sapnap. They have been there for me when i needed them the most which i am really grateful about. They made my life so much better and helped me in the darkest times. And i can't tell then how thankful i am. But i know that they know that*
'Everything will be better George.. i promise. you have us and we love you so much'
{{unrelated but my mind gave me an idea :)))) }}
⚠️Trigger warning. Bloodddddd so please skip if you don't like seeing blood⚠️
*we both hear a metal falling to the floor and look at each other kinda concerned. We both get up quickly and go to the kitchen only to see Sapnap which his arms covered in blood and the knife on the flor. Oh my god. No no.*
'Oh god Sapnap... it's okay it's okay we're here don't worry..'
*Sapnap just looks at his hands shocked and with tears in his eyes. He told me he hasn't self harmed in so long... did something happen now?? What triggered it?*
*my mind keeps on telling me that it's because of me. The events that happened these days i know affected both Dream and Sapnap. But i didn't know.. it made Sapnap.. feel this way as well*
'It's okay Sapnap i'm here right now'
*Dream hugs him tight and he just breaks down in his arms*
'Hey hey Sapnap did something happen? is everything alright? You can tell me you know that right? What's up hm?'
*seeing Sapnap like that just breaks my heart. I guess i know how they feel when they see me.. self harming. It's so overwhelming and worrying at the same.*
*i take some tissues and put it carefully on his wounds to stop them from bleeding anymore. Oh my god i wonder what happened and what made him do this.*
'I..i don't know.. i was.. i was looking at my arms.. and then... i saw the knife.. and then something in my brain just told me to do it.. i haven't done it in so long.. i broke my clean day Dream.. i'm so disappointed.. i hate myself right now'
*ouch this hurts. Hearing him say those things hurts so bad what the hell? No i know how they fell. Gosh why does it hurt so much?? Maybe it's cause i relate a lot but i don't want to see him hurt either.*
'Sapnap.. baby look at me.. don't be disappointed okay? It's fine everything is fine.. it happens and i know it's scare but it's going to be fine okay?'
*he kisses his forehead and i smile. They are so cute*
'How about.. you both maybe.. take a bath? But just be careful at the arms... they are gonna hurt but i will make sure both of you are going to be comfortable and in not any pain okay? I will bring you some food as well so don't worry.. my babies.. just wait a few minutes'
*he leaves quickly and starts to prepare the bath.*
'Are you okay Sapnap? Do you want to talk about it?'
'I uh.. i just got really triggered i guess? It hasn't happened in so long tho.. which is really weird.. i an scared right now i can't lie. I don't want to go back to those days George.. i really don't.. but i know you and Dream are here for me.. but at the same time i don't want to put more troubles on your shoulders... i am sorry... i guess we both relapsed..'
*he chuckles sadly and looks at me*
'Can i have a hug'
*is he even asking?? Of course he can. i get closer to him and hug him really really tight*
'We can do this Sapnap.. we are strong okay? Don't worry... everything is gonna be fine.. i love you so much'
*i kiss him slowly and i smile. Gosh i love him so much*
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i literally forgot i said i will post another chapter today sorry so here it is😅
alsoooo.... this book it's close to an end :') BUT DONTTTT WORRYYY i am going to write another story if you wanna read :) if not that's fine. the support on this book has been amazing and i am really thankful for every single one of you and i really mean it. Thank you so much guys i appreciate you:)
now this is making me kinda sad😂😂 but have a great day/night. i am proud of you and remember to drink water and eat enough okay? the next chapter might be the lastttt sooo yeah :'). i love you guysss