Considering Josh had been debating a way to keep Mara at his side a second ago, he should have kept his mouth shut. Instead he said, "Why aren't you? Seems like something really useful."
With Cale's arms crossed, he almost managed to hide his hand curling into a fist. "What's useful is being here, helping during a war, not wasting two Paladins on a mission that may accomplish nothing."
"You could take Joel's offer." Mara threw out the comment casually enough, but a bite slid into the end, and her hand tightened around Josh's. He flashed back to when Mara had bristled, and a knot formed in his chest. The jealousy hadn't returned to its cage, and it whispered terrible ideas in his ears.
Cale sighed and dropped his head back against the wall with a quiet thud. "I don't want to do that either. He watches me enough while I'm here. I don't really want to be watched by one of his lackeys while I'm asleep."
"Watches... you?" Josh wrinkled his nose. "Why would he do that?"
Mateo let out a sudden huff of laughter. He smiled apologetically when Josh turned on him. "Sorry, but the way you worded that just implied Cale wasn't worth watching."
Josh frowned. "And you word it like there's some special reason to."
"I suppose it depends on who you ask." Mateo shrugged. "Youngest Paladin in recorded history by bonding at eight. Third youngest to become a team leader in modern history. Top spot for who will replace Xander once he has to step down. And now he's potentially reaching the Merged state a few years earlier than most would. I can see why Joel would take an interest—"
"Yes, I have collected my fair share of records," Cale snapped.
Mateo flinched at the sudden harsh tone, his musing expression morphing into one of confusion. His eyes almost seemed to glaze for a moment, and then he bit his lip. "Apologies, Cale. I didn't realize..."
Josh didn't know what Mateo would have to realize, though. He glared at Cale. "Hey, no need to get snippy with him," he said. "He was just answering my question."
Cale pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know. I just..." He shook his head and dropped his hand. "I'm sorry, Mateo. Having Joel around all the time has made things... tense."
No, that wasn't all, but if even Josh could tell Cale wasn't sharing something, Cale had to be too exhausted to hide it better.
"You know I don't appreciate how much of an interest he has taken in you, Cale. I can tell him to leave you alone," Xander offered.
"He would still do it, just in more concealed ways. You know that, Xander. Better to let him have his way until he tires of analyzing me."
"If you say so, but know you can tell me if you change your mind," Xander said, and although he didn't look pleased about it, he let it drop. "But to return to the original topic, I don't believe it is a waste for you to take on the Plane of Trials."
"You heard Joel. As much as I disagree with him, he has a point here," Cale said. His lips curled, as if admitting it had been like swallowing something foul. "Our front lines are strained. Those who aren't working with the Sages to either find the Shadow Knight's base or clues to the temples are out on missions almost daily. You've been keeping me in combat, but I know some of the diplomatic situations are strained from all the breaches as well."
Xander closed his eyes, shoulders growing tenser and tenser with every part Cale threw his way. He waited a few moments after Cale stopped speaking to ask, "Are you finished listing the tasks I must deal with?"
The words could have been accusatory, but when Xander opened his eyes, he looked sad.
Cale swallowed hard, Adam's apple bobbing. "Apologies, sir."
"This is nothing new, Cale. You know this. We have always been at war. The only difference is the degree to which the Shadow Knights are choosing to fight." In a gesture that seemed to swing the entire room's attention with him, he turned his chair so he could gaze out the terrace.
Noise filtered in. Breakfast would start soon. Josh was skipping breakfast to have it at his parents' house, which worked out since he still needed to explain what happened to Hisato before he left. After which he would head to Jodas to leave. That time felt like it approached too fast when time slowed in this room. Josh took a moment to realize it was because of Cale and Xander. Somehow, the burden they both chose to shoulder seemed to weigh down on time itself.
And something about that let Josh know that whatever was decided in this room was going to affect the war, and Xander knew that.
"Top spot for who will replace Xander once he has to step down," Mateo had said. Josh had seen firsthand how determined Cale could be in battles, how unshakingly he faced them. Still, he couldn't escape the sense that Cale had more steps to take before he could be the Paladin leader.
Maybe Xander feared the same as Joel, that this war would steal a leader, and he wanted Cale ready. Or maybe he wanted Cale stronger in the belief that would prevent more loss.
"Right now, things are not as bad as they could be. There has been a lull as each of us decides our next step. Yes, you help here. But you could be of more help once you achieve a Soulmerge. Every time after that is easier, and you cannot deny the prowess it gives. Every Soulmerged Paladin we have is like sharpening our blades further."
Cale shifted in his spot and refused to meet Xander's eyes. "There is no guarantee that I will succeed."
Xander smiled in a way that said he had the utmost faith that Cale would, but instead of that, he said, "Then you have at least moved in that direction. Every step of growth is a step worth taking, never a waste. At worst, you must leave the Plane before you are satisfied with your time there. You choosing to go is not a sentence to be gone for months."
Cale scratched absently at his jaw, eyes distant in a way that meant he was either lost in thought or speaking with Ezraim. With every second that ticked by, more and more of the refusal left his stance.
"I don't know if I like this," he finally said.
"Then you don't have to go," Xander said gently.
"I know." Cale pressed his lips together before taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "But you're right. We need every tool we can get right now, including more Soulmerged Paladins."
Josh perked up at the words. "Then why don't we just send more people in?" he asked, and Boomer stirred excitedly at the thought. "If the place helps people Soulmerge, can't others just go too?"
Xander laughed. "I take it you're offering?"
Josh attempted an innocent shrug, but he couldn't stop his smile. "I mean, I happen to be a Paladin who can't Soulmerge. I can't help that I qualify."
Cale shook his head to himself, but the corners of his lips lifted. "Not how it works, Josh. The Plane is a place of constant combat, and although that can help with general training, it doesn't do much in the sense of Soulmerging without having an established deep bond with your dragon."
I like to think our bond is very established, Boomer put in.
Same. Should I call Cale a jerk for wounding our pride? Josh asked as he leaned back against the couch. He didn't mean it, just like he hadn't meant the suggestion to get himself in the Plane, even if he would jump at the chance. He understood the Soulmerging thing was likely far from his grasp, but it still sucked to hear.
As if sensing the slight shift in mood, Mara squeezed his hand. Josh squeezed back, letting his hold linger. Because he knew what came next.
"Well, if you're decided to face the Plane, we can open a portal for you there as early as tomorrow morning. Before then, though, you must decide who will join you there."
The entire room stilled as those gathered stared at Cale, awaiting his answer. It should have been instant, but he hesitated.
For a second, Josh had a flicker of hope that Cale would choose Mateo, but then something crossed Cale's face.
Mara flinched. "No, Caleb, you're not doing that."
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, but he wouldn't meet her eyes.
"You just debated taking no one, to go into a place fraught with danger on your own," she accused. "You know how it works. You need another person on the off chance that you lose consciousness and to make survival easier."
He rubbed at his neck. "I was just considering all of my options." With a sigh, he looked at Xander and made a vague gesture toward the couch. "If I have to choose someone, then I choose Samara."
Even knowing it was coming, Josh had to fight off a grimace as the decision slammed down like a guillotine blade against his and Mara's entwined hands.
It's not like she's going to be gone forever, Boomer scoffed. She'll be back in a few weeks at most. When Josh didn't reply, Boomer mentally nudged him through the bond. Hey, are you okay?
Josh gulped. Yeah, I am. Sorry, I just... I don't know.
He had no idea how to explain that the decision felt like it had just sentenced them all to something horrible.
Fun Fact: Uh... *flips through notes* My friend used to call Cale Cake because of autocorrect? I dunno, man, I'm stumped on this one. Cale likes to stand instead of sit because he always wants to feel prepared for combat? I give up. Maybe not fun facts this chapter, but random for sure...
So yeah. Cale's pretty awesome apparently. Got all those achievements under his belt and it seems his future is bright! Even brighter now that he's gonna pursue this new power-up Soulmerge thing. Josh having a bad feeling is likely just me having no idea how else to end the chapter though. Yes, totally that. Hoping though that Cale's hesitancy makes sense, though we also get to learn a bit more about how the rest of the Sanctuary (and Joel) may see him 👀
Let me know your thoughts on the chapter down below, and if you enjoyed it, don't forget to comment. Or even join my Patron, which can be found in my bio. The lowest tier only costs $1 a month and gives you access to my discord, where you can get chapter previews.