i lay in bed, but i don't feel the normal tiredness consume me. my eyes are open and a different type of tiredness approaches, one you can't shake with slumber. a kind that doesn't have a particular remedy of its own. it just sits and stays.
it feels like the blank static of a televison when the house is silent, and you just sit there in the dull quietness, waiting for it to start working again. you sit in your chair against the wall, and no matter how irritated you get at the tv, no matter how much the sound bothers you, it still doesn't stop to turn back on.
the feeling proceeds to exist and i cant seem to shake the birds of numbness that flock in my head. they move chaotically, and knock over everything inside the little house of my brain. though still, i lay here. i lay here with my eyes open until i start to see the sun rise outside of my window, and hear the real morning birds chirp outside. i've been laying here all night long, even though it's felt like only a few hours. i wonder if anyone at school will notice the actual sunrise, the severe ones with blues and pinks that form half circles under my eyes. i bet myself nobody will, and then quietly, behind the sound of my inner monologue, i still hear the tv static.... echoing... unceasing...