/Don't let anyone in./
(927)
Back at the Villa we have an early flight at 2 am and it is now 10 and we leave at 12am. I showered and am now eating leftover cake. Matteo comes out of his room, and so do Sara and Dante. "UGH!" Vincenzo says breaking the Silents. "What are we going to do when we get back?"
I hope we all stay in contact, but if I say that i'll look desperate so I stay quiet.
We all just stay silent. "It feels like a party every day," Sara sighs, idiot.
I look at her and we all start bursting out laughing. "Idiot." I snort. Everyone turns their gazes to me snickers and laugh I turn red. I didn't mean to laugh like that it's just been a hot min.
I even look at Matteo and he is smirking a little bit where you can see a small dimple form.
"Okay come on let's put the bags in the car," Vincenzo says grabbing the things, I furrowed my eyebrows and he motioned his head to Matteo who is sitting on the railing outside. Where the first time he ever said something to me was.
I start to walk towards Matteo.
Sara and Dante grab their stuff and left me and Matteo. "Hey," I say sitting next to him.
"Hey" He wraps an arm around my body. "What you gonna do when we get back into New York?" I say to break the pregnant silence; He tenses.
"About that..." I get off of him and look at him in the eyes, this isn't going to end right here right?
"What do you mean?" I say
"Natalia, you know whatever happened between us, can't stay and we have to end it." He says. What?
I look at him in disbelief. Your lying.
Suck it up right now.
Bad bitch
"Your kidding right?" I say he shakes his head not making eye contact with me, how is he just going to let this go?
"So what?" I bit my lip holding back my feelings trying for them not to show. "You're just going to ignore me?"
He doesn't move.
"You're just going to pretend whatever happened over the last week wasn't real?" I ask waiting for an answer.
"You just lead me on?" I say because I know i'm right.
I want to keep on ranting but I know it's not going to get me anywhere, I just do it anyways. There's nothing better to do since he doesn't even know... FUCK MAN.
"This whole time," I said moving my hands, I was in shock. More shock than when my father started to do things to me.
"I can't believe you." I gasp and put a hand over my mouth.
I had to take a deep breath, I remember the words wise women told me. "Don't read into something you know isn't going to work, but don't go down without a fight." You know whats crazy, I went to a fortune teller before this trip, and thats what she said to me. I should've known.
"The number of things you did for me." I sound like a fucking petty bitch. Someone tell me to shut up right now.
"It was all fake?" My vision getting blury, this. hurts.
It hurts. So bad.
"Ugh! I can't Matteo, here I thought I can put my walls down." For once I trusted someone after everything that happened, I trust someone. I don't do that ever.
But it seems like everytime I do that, it gets me 10 steps backwards. I just can't believe he made me feel this way knowing that when he all get back he is just going to leave. I swear if he pulls that bullshit where it's like it's not you it's be time beat. I'm going to lose it.
I walk to him and pointed to my chest "It hurts." I shook my head, "You know."
"But as soon as I think I can trust someone they just stab me in the back again and again and again." Starting to think I can never be happy.
I let the tears fall at this moment. I don't care any more.
"S-so" My voice cracking, "What Dante is doing this to Sara as we speak?"
He is just looking at his feet.
"I knew it." I am angry. "I just knew this was too good to be true."
"The number of times, I think I feel happy I'm not."
I put my hand on my head and wiped the tears off my face. "God this is just like deja vu all over again."
"My fucking Karma." I let my lip tremble.
I shouldn't jump to conclusions. "At least tell me why?" I look at him and cleared my vision, I don't want to be that type of person that just gets mad but this is how I am right now, but I need to know why.
"I get it that you're leaving but why?" I have to ask.
He looks down at me finally making eye contact.
"Be in the car in 5 or we will leave without you." That was all he said then he walked out.
I started to ball my eyes out. "What the fuck." I sat down and put my hands in my legs. This is what I get. I sucked in a breath.
Am I not good enough?
I guess I don't deserve happiness.
Then. I decided to be a BAD BITCH.
I walked to the SUV and looked out the window not looking at anyone, the whole ride was dead. No one spoke to anyone, you even heard the GPS.
I wasn't thinking about myself, I was thinking about Sara. Her and Dante had something deeper than me and Matteo had.
Her head rests on my shoulder and I wanted to look but I didn't.
DING
the saddest bitch: you okay?
you: I guess
the saddest bitch: don't let this affect you. okay?
you: ok
the saddest bitch: don't shut me out again okay?
you: yea
the saddest bitch: you know I love you right?
I let out a breathless laugh.
You: I love you too
I left Sara's chat and scrolled through my latest text messages. A message came through I taped on it.
God: I'm sorry Sandy. :(
You: It's fine.
God: I'll miss you.
I logged out of the chat and shut my phone off, My phone kept Vibrating.
God: Sandy?
God: You know you in front of me and I can see that you're ignoring me.
God: I didn't do anything...
God: I'm going to cry.
God: Answer?
God: Sandy?
God: Natalia?
Unknown: I'll miss you Sandy
I wiped the tear that threatens to fall, I put Sara's head on my lap and continued to look out the window.
At least I have Sara
___________________________
A/N
Hey Guys my back hurts still! I think I'm going to take a long ass break from this book. Or maybe not.
"Goodbye Jack"
xoxoxo Gossip Girl.