Chase's POV
I finally realized two things over the past few days; the first being that cases like mine can drag on for months and in worst case scenarios even years. Do I really want to put myself through that mental torture for so long? No matter what I do I'll always be wondering about how the case is going, whereas if I drop the case I can at least try to forget about the worst night of my life.
I've been avoiding Jesse ever since I thought about this and have been staked out in my room trying to figure out if I should ask the police to drop the case. I know that Jesse never said it but I'm sure he would rather me bring Mike and his friends to justice. But they're so many pros to dropping the case.
If I decide not to take them to court then my personal statement detailing the incident wouldn't have to be shared with anyone else. I wouldn't have to look into the eyes of those men and repeat the god awful things that they did to me; reliving that night yet again. I also wouldn't become a spectacle for everyone to gawk at and judge in court.
But then I think about what would happen if their behaviour goes unpunished. Would they think that what they did was acceptable? Would they do it to someone else? I can't help the cold shiver that accompanies that thought and I let out an exasperated sigh.
The second thing I realized is that Diego is too good for me. I spent the better part of this morning stalking him and not only is he way out of my league with his superior, god-like looks but he's a social butterfly, I would never fit in with him. It turns out that he's the head of Public Relations at the tech company where Bryan is the CEO. He lives a lush and lavish life filled with business meetings and fancy people.
I sigh again and rub my eyes trying to clear my mind. I'm suddenly startled by my phone ringing and I don't even bother checking to see who's calling. It finally stops, only to instantly start ringing again. Groaning, I wrap myself in my blanket and squeeze a pillow around my head to cover my ears. My phone is too far away and I don't plan on getting out of bed until I decide whether or not I'm dropping the case.
After seven minutes of essentially non-stop calling, the person finally gives up and the room is once again filled with my deafening thoughts.
However, I'm clearly not to be left alone with my thoughts because whoever is calling decides that they're not in fact giving up and my annoying, generic ringtone sounds, once again. I roll over and stare at my phone which is on my desk and out of arm's reach, willing it to shut up.
Since I came back from the police station two days ago, after giving my statement of my near encounter with that man at the hospital, I locked myself in my room. In fact the only times I've gotten up is to use the bathroom before high tailing it back to bed.
Jesse swore that he would break down the door but I got really pissed and yelled at him so he backed off and said that he would give me some time alone. I know that was a really shitty thing to do but I need to figure out what to do about this case and seeing him will only make me feel guilty for even second guessing my decision to prosecute them.
"Will you stop ringing!" I yell, stumbling out of bed and hastily answering the phone to put an end to the incessant ringing. "WHAT!" I scream at the unsuspecting irritant on the phone.
"Hello," comes a calm, deep voice that immediately fills me with warmth and serenity. Completely embarrassed, I gasp and end the call.
Oh my gosh! Did I just yell at Diego? Did I just hang up on him!! I run my hand through my oily hair, that is definitely in need of washing and unlock my phone to see 47 missed calls. My lips pull up at the corners when I see that a lot of those missed calls are from 'My Future Boyfriend' as Diego decided to name himself in my phone.
Scrolling through my call history, I realize that he called me yesterday and this morning. I never checked to see who was calling when my phone ran because I just assumed it was Shawn or one of my brothers calling to say that I should talk to Jesse. I chew on the inside of my cheek pondering whether or not I should call him back.
I don't have to worry for long because Diego starts calling again and I fight the urge to launch my phone across the room, opting instead to tentatively answer it, "Hello?" My voice is barely audible, a far cry from my embarrassment inducing scream a few minutes ago.
"Hi little lamb," Diego says and I can hear the smile and excitement in his voice which causes my annoying heart to skip a beat.
"Why are you calling?" My voice is still quiet but it comes out harsher than I intended and I flinch.
Diego lets out a nervous chuckle. "I just wanted to hear your voice." Why would he want to hear my voice? It's not like I'm good enough for him... or anyone. When I remain silent, Diego continues. "I thought you would have called but you didn't."
Believe me I tried to contact him. I spent the entirety of the next day after I met him thinking about what to say if I called him or messaged him but came up with zilch. Then reality came knocking, forcing me to give up on my pipe dream of mustering enough courage to talk to him.
Deciding not to reply, I walk back over to my bed and plop down with a sigh. "Do you want me to hang up? Or should I tell you about myself? Or you can tell me about yourself?" Diego's gentle voice caresses my ears, making me feel like I can tell him anything. But still I remain silent.
"I'm 28 years old but plushies are still my favourite things in the world," Diego starts. I smile a little, happy that he didn't hang up or try to get me to talk.
"My sister and I used to collect them. Every time I passed a plushie on the way home I would always stop and get her one. They were her favourite thing and she would always be so happy to receive a new one." Diego's voice is soft and wistful, almost pained and all I want to do is comfort him.
"I actually still collect them," Diego says sheepishly. "I have a room in my house that's just for plushies. I know it's weird! And now that I'm thinking about it, I shouldn't have told you about the plushies because now you'll definitely think I'm weird," Diego finishes, his voice trailing off at the end.
I let out a tiny giggle. It's actually good to be focusing on something else and getting out of my head. "I don't think you're weird," I mumble and Diego chuckles gently. "You were sad when talking in the beginning," I say hoping he might comment on my statement.
"Yes, my sister died seven years ago."
"I'm sorry, it sounds like you two were close," I reply quietly. Again, I feel the urge to comfort him, to wrap my arms around him and shower him with kisses until I can see his dimpled smile.
"Yeah we were," Diego responds and I can hear his smile which makes a tiny smile appear on my face. "Your turn, tell me something meaningful about you."
I can't seem to resist Diego's assertive yet reassuring voice and I find myself blurting out my worries. "Something bad happened and I just want to forget about it so I won't have to ever deal with it." I can't bring myself to be any more specific despite the tiny voice in my head begging me to tell him everything.
"Speaking from first hand experience, avoidance isn't the best way to deal with your problems. A few years ago, instead of dealing with my problems I decided to try to forget about them by jumping into a relationship with this guy. I pretended everything was alright and only focused on him." As Diego is talking I feel my grip on the phone tighten. Who on earth is this guy? And why do I feel a slow, building rage inside of me?
"When he broke up with me, everything came crashing down and all of the problems that I was suppressing came back tenfold. It almost destroyed me. So forgetting might be a great short term solution but long term it'll be much worse," Diego says, concluding his story.
"Who even is this guy!" I blurt out. I don't know if I'm mad about imagining Diego doting on someone else or if I'm upset that whoever that guy is hurt Diego.
Diego lets out a deep, musical chuckle. "No need to be jealous, little lamb. That was two years ago and I'm completely over Liam, now I'm only interested in this guy who has a sweet tooth just as sweet as he. He's shy but gushes adorably when he's excited and he has the most beautiful and contagious smile I've ever seen. In fact just hearing his voice is enough to make me smile." There's no way he's talking about me! "His name is Chase."
He is talking about me! My heart is brimming with joy at his words and I feel a lone tear trickle down my cheek. I've never had someone talk about me like that! "Thank you, I think I needed to hear that," I whisper with a smile on my face.
"You really are amazing Chase," Diego replies causing my smile to brighten.
However, these warm feelings of acceptance and adoration don't last long. "I'm broken Diego. You should spend your time focusing on someone who isn't." I can barely get the words out of my mouth as I realize that's not what I want at all. I want him to be my friend and then when I'm ready, something more.
"I don't think you're broken, Chase," Diego replies.
I scoff and mumble. "But I am."
"I'll try a different approach then." I hear Diego mutter sulkily and I can't help the warm fuzzy feeling in the stomach that he is going to try to say something else to cheer me up. "Chase, no one gets through life unscathed so maybe we're all a little broken. Everyone has their problems and there's nothing wrong with that. What's important is that we try to heal our scars. It's cliche but the best way out is through," Diego responds.
"Sure, Mr. We're all a little broken with your fancy friends and business meetings," I retort bitterly, playing with the edge of my blanket.
Diego chuckles gently. "So you stalked me huh. I'm flattered." I literally slap my hand against my head and groan resulting in another chuckle from Diego. "Social media only shows you a snippet of people's lives. Do you think I'm going to post a picture of me sad and curled up in bed or a picture of me happily hanging out with my friends?"
"Point taken," I mumble with a pout.
"How are you so cute!" Diego exclaims causing a tiny giggle to escape me. How is he able to lift my mood and soothe my doubts so easily?
Something that he said stuck with me though. I can't just forget about what happened. If I drop the case, I'll be doing it to avoid dealing with my trauma and I know I'll regret not prosecuting them. So, I have to face it head on. I really can't let those fiends get away with hurting me. If I never face them, then they will forever be the nightmares that haunt me and not the criminals that they are. Diego said that the best way out is through and I'll trust him on that.
I'll probably lose hope again along the way but I keep forgetting that I'm not alone. Hopefully, I now also have the support of my future boyfriend. I giggle at that thought unable to stop the huge grin that spreads across my face.
"What are you thinking about?" Diego inquires and I can hear the smile in his voice.
Feeling empowered I reply, "You." Diego gasps loudly and I laugh, a cheerful, almost carefree laugh. "I have to go, I was awful to Jesse and I need to go beg him for forgiveness. Thank you for lifting my mood. I'll call you later."
"No problem, little lamb, any time," Diego replies, still sounding a little shocked.
We hang up and I hug my phone to my chest and let out a little squeal. Now I just need to make up with Jesse. I'm sure he'll forgive me, he probably won't get mad and might even blame himself. As much as I love my twin and love how compassionate he is, he's still treating me with kiddy gloves when I want him to start treating me like how he would have before all of this happened. Getting up from my bed, I walk over to my bedroom door and unlock it for the first time in two days.
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