Warning: Some of these quotes might be inaccurate due to the fact they're either submissions, or I was retarded as hell!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Fuyuhiko: *counting on his fingers*
Hajime: I just asked you how old you are-
Fuyuhiko: Can you shut the fuck up for a second?
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Kaede: School doesn't test your intelligence! It tests your memory.
Ryoma: It tests my patience.
Himiko: It tests my ability to hold my pee...
Miu: It tests my ability to keep calm and not slap a bitch!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Hajime, literally sick of Nagito's shit: *sigh* Can you just.. chill?
Nagito: Chill...Hahahaha..!! I've never experienced.. that emotion! *laughs like crazy*
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
*Chiaki lying on a bed passed out*
Ibuki: *pours water on Chiaki's face, snickering*
Chiaki: *raises head, eyes still closed, voice slurring sleepily* Hello?
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Fuyuhiko: I heard you were talking shit about my girlfriend.
Fuyuhiko: Fuck you I fucking hate you!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Mondo: DUDE JUST WEAR YOUR PAJAMA PANTS WITH ME OUTSIDE THAT WAY WE'RE MATCHING!
Taka: HOW ABOUT JUST DO YOUR LAUNDRY?!
Mondo: *incoherent yelling* NO!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Kazuichi: You have a beautiful smile.
Sonia: *smiles* Thank you! You are not that handsome.
Kazuichi: Wow, thanks.
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Kirumi: *is cooking pasta*
Kirumi: *puts the spoon down and turns around*
Akane: *crunch*
Kirumi: DON'T EAT THE PACKING PEANUTS!!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Makoto: Welcome back to me screaming
Makoto: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Kanon: Hey guys, I'm here with my boyfriend!
Leon: I'm your cousin..
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
TV: Who's that Pokémon?
Kaito: IT'S PIKACHU!
TV: It's Clefairy!
Kaito: FUUCK!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Ibuki: Don't tell your mother
Mikan: K-Kiss one another?
Ibuki: dIE FOR EACH OTHER!!
*Mikan falls over*
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Maki: Do you want to die?
Kokichi: Why can't we be frien- AHHHHHH!!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Monaca: Monaca can't swim..
Haiji: How old are you?
Monaca: Six
Haiji: *throws her into the water*
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Stranger: Hey! Has anyone told you that you look like Junko Enoshima?
Miu: No, they usually tell me I look like Miu.
Stranger: Who the fuck is that?
Miu: Me bitch!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Show: Welcome to the-
Ibuki, wheezing: ARE YOU WATCHING A BABY'S SHOW?!?
Hiyoko: YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!!!
Ibuki: JEALOUS OF WHAT-
Show: Shut y'all asses up
Ibuki & Hiyoko: *afraid*
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Ibuki, before she drops the chandelier: It's Wednesday my dudes
Ibuki, swinging from the chandelier as it crashes down: aaahaaaAAAAAAAAAAAH!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Priest: Ibuki, do you take Mikan as your lawfully wedded wife?
Ibuki: I scooby dooby doo!
Mikan: Ibuki please-
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Teruteru: Kin I get a sip a' dat water?
Fuyuhiko: Ain't water.
Teruteru: Vodka! I like yer style-
Fuyuhiko: It's vinegar.
Teruteru: Say whaa-?
Fuyuhiko: I said it's vinegar, pussy.
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Toko, looking down: I-I'm still trying to figure out w-why you're friends with me...
Komaru: Because you're sweet and funny!
Toko, pointing to Komaru, irritated: Others say I'm b-bitter and grumpy so y-you're definitely lying..!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Mahiru: From now on, just think of me like a mother.
Hiyoko: Hi mom!
Mahiru: Hi sweetie! How was your day?
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Kaito: Seems that Maki Roll is mad at me. I have to admit that I don't know why.
Tenko: Okay, were you talking before she got upset?
Kaito: Yeah
Tenko: That's definitely it then! Hmph! Typical degenerate male behavior!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Kaede: *walks into the room*
Miu: You look pretty today.
Kaede: Uh.. Thanks?
Miu: *looks away from mirror* Thanks for what you bitch?!
Kaede:
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Maki, internally: Everything is going to be alright. It's just a crush.
Kaito: Hey Maki Roll!!
Maki: I'm in love with you.
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Toko: F-For the last time, w-where is M-master!
Kotoko, obviously acting: *cries* I'm telling you, I don't know!
Komaru: Not talking, eh? Well what if I do... this? *flicks lamp on and off*
Toko & Kotoko: Stop! That's really annoying!!!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Mondo: Ugh.. I hardly slept last night.
Sakura: They say that when you can't sleep, it means someone is thinking about you.
Mondo: Who the hell would be thinking about me at 3 am??
Taka: *gay panic*
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Kokichi: Hey loser! Say 'kid' backwards!
K1-B0: Dik?
Kokichi, laughing: THAT'S GAY!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Angie: Sure, you may be verified on Twitter.
Angie: But are you verified
Angie: in the eyes of Atua?
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Akane: You want somethin' to eat?
Kazuichi: Nah
Akane: Alright
Kazuichi, reaching into Akane's bag of food: Let me-
Akane, biting Kazuichi's hand: GET YOUR FUCKIN' HANDS BACK BITCH!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Himiko: W-Who are you, and why are you on the ceiling?!
Hiro: How do you know this isn't the floor? Maybe you're the one walking on the ceiling.
Himiko: I-
Himiko:
Himiko: You know what? Screw it, I don't want to know.. I'm taking a nap.
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Mikan: *trips on air* N-Not again..!!
Ibuki: Kyahaha!! Nice view, Mikan!
Ibuki: Mahiru, it's time for YOU to snatch some shots!!!
*10 minutes later*
Ibuki, punching the air: WHAT'S your fucking problem, huh?! She could've been seriously hurt! What the FUCK did she ever to you?!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Kokichi: Hey mom! Can we stop at McDonalds??
Kirumi: I am making dinner at home.
Kokichi, crying: WAAAAAAHHHH!! I HATE THIS FUCKING FAMILY!!!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Ibuki: Whose turn is it to give the pep talk??
Fuyuhiko: *sigh* Akane's
Akane: Fuck shit up out there and don't die!
Nekomaru: *wipes away a tear* Beautiful!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
*Time-limit music plays*
Kokichi, shocked: W-What's happening?? Are we in trouble???
K1-B0: Kokichi, don't panic! Everything will be alright, I'm sure of it!
Kokichi: YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET MEE!! *runs straight into a tree*
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Nagito: I think you and I are a little more similar than you might think.
Kokichi: That's a terrible thing to say..
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Nagito: I think I may have found the root of your problem. You have family issues.
Monaca: Yay! Monaca has family issues!
Nagito: No, that's bad.
Monaca: Aww, Monaca has family issues..
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Masaru: Prepare for trouble!
Kotoko: And make it double!
Nagisa: I'm not saying it
Masaru: Yes you are!
Nagisa: No I'm not!
Kotoko and Masaru: Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
Nagisa: *sigh* Fine- anything to shut you two up.
Nagisa: *stutters, then runs away*
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Akane: I wanna do bad things to you.
Teruteru: Oh yeah? Like what~? ;)
Akane: Kick your fuckin' ass!
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Toko, looking at Byakuya: Guys are so hot!
Toko, looking at Komaru: Girls are hot too.. oh my!
Toko: W-Why is everyone so hot?!
Kyoko: Global warming.
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Kokichi: I need to confess something.
Kokichi: I'm evil! >:)
Kaede: Did you eat the last piece of cake again?
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Hiro, running around the dining hall: CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW THERE'S DIRT FOLLOWING ME!!!
Leon: Hey what's that pouring out of your pocket?
Hiro: Oh god
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Peko: What I said: Don't kick Nagito in the back.
Peko: What I meant: Don't kick Nagito.
Peko: What Akane heard: Kick Nagito someplace else.
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
Kokichi: Hey Keeboy! Can I ask you a question?
K1-B0: You just did.
Kokichi: Okay, can I ask you TWO questions?
K1-B0: You just did.
Kokichi, now a little frustrated: Okay, can I ask you FOUR questions?
K1-B0: You just did.
Kokichi: WHAT, WHEN?!
K1-B0: Just now
⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄
*Chihiro, Taka and Mondo are all playing minecraft together*
Mondo, holding Taka: Bro. Bro I'm sorry I hit you twice bro. Bro you can hit me back... bro
Taka, in Mondo's arms: *sobbing*
Chihiro: *Looks into the camera like he's on the office*