By the time I left the palace, the sun already grazed the horizon, and barren trees feathered the dying sunlight like black veins. Would Izra have left? And if no one remained at the Mount of Truth, what would I do next?
I delivered a curt nod and tight smile to Pamil and the other guards outside the entrance. As I strolled into the woods at the side of the palace, I stopped and listened for anyone who might be following. When silence greeted me, I broke into a jog.
Minutes later, the trees tapered off to reveal the massive gold Rashika presiding over the ceremonial grounds. I scanned the prostrating Lesser Gods, and my gaze caught on Goddess Valavira. One of her faces still kissed the dirt, but the wilting brown grass exposed her other face. Lines carved a bit too deep around her eyes and over her brows, a smile a little too sharp.
It reminded me of Honey.
My first scan of the treeline revealed nothing, but then a lithe figure emerged. She sauntered toward me, movements precise and face an emotionless mask. While relief washed over me, heat coiled in my belly. I just wanted Izra.
She stopped ten feet from me. "You're late."
My hands instinctively found my thighs and then pulled back to fist at my sides. "I know, I was just —"
Then she closed the space between us, threaded her fingers in my hair, and pressed her lips to mine. Hard, desperate, bruising. In the rush of sensation, I could no longer think about Honey's fate or the Queen's dying words. I could think only of her touch tingling over my scalp, the perfect mould of her lips on mine, and the flames consuming my core.
Just when I started to respond, she staggered back, blinking and biting her lip.
I breathed a laugh, brushing a finger over my lip that still tingled from the pressure. "Well, that's different from how you greeted me the last time I met you here."
She pressed her palms to her eyes and shook her head. "Sorry, I didn't... I was just thinking of you with that fucking bastard, and... and not knowing if he... if you..."
"Izra." I stepped forward and pulled her hands away from her face. When her eyes met mine, I brushed my fingers up her jaw and cheek to sweep through her silky-soft hair. Our breath mingled, and her eyes blocked out the rest of the world.
Without breaking eye contact, she whispered, "I didn't know if I'd ever get a chance to kiss you again."
Warmth crackled over my chest, and a smile found my lips. Without any input from my mind, I slid a hand through her hair to cup the back of her neck and then traced my other thumb over her lips. Then my lips replaced my thumb, a bare brush of soft, warm skin.
Her mouth responded, lips parting gently to deepen the kiss. When my tongue flicked out to trace her lips, her neck muscles flexed beneath my fingers, and her eyelashes fluttered. I pulled back to see her face better.
"What is it, Izra? What do you want?"
She huffed a laugh through her nose. "Everything, Epsa. I want all of you."
Her soft alto hooked into my core and tugged. What exactly was everything? My body burned with the imagined possibilities, a delicious heat. I became aware of every place the gentle breeze sifted through my clothing and the brush of fabric over my nipples. My voice came out hoarse.
"If you want all of me... I'm all yours."
She sucked in a sharp breath. My cheeks burned, and I averted my gaze with the pretense of checking our surroundings. When I pulled my eyes back to her face, a smile skirted her lips, and an intoxicating blend of dark and light flickered over her eyes.
"I would love to explore that offer," she said, "But maybe not here and now."
"Right," I managed in a croak. "You need to hear what the King said first."
"Is the Resistance compromised?"
I blinked. "No."
"Then whatever the King said can wait. First, we get back to safety."
Then she pivoted and set out back through the trees. I jogged until I fell into stride beside her, but imagined possibilities overlaid the trees and foliage ahead. Wondering if she was similarly affected, I glanced at her profile. Her eyes remained trained on the path of a head, but a tiny smile teased the corner of her lips.
When the trees sparsened, I slowed to a stop. Izra swiveled back toward me, head cocked and hand on her hip.
"I need the blindfold now," I said.
"No."
I raised my eyebrows. "We must be getting close now, and it's too risky —"
She huffed a breath. "Too risky? You visiting the King alone was too risky."
"Izra, I'm a Royal Guard."
"No, you're not. You're one of us. I don't blindfold members of Rashika's Resistance. And I don't want you following me the way you used to follow him."
Without awaiting a response, she resumed walking. I wasn't sure what response I would have given if asked. After spending my life serving an evil leader, I was desperate to serve a good one. But this leader would not let me sink to my knees and declare fealty. This leader demanded something else — something I could not quite understand.
If loyalty was not enough, what exactly did she want from me? What else did I have to offer?
Wrapped up in my thoughts, I hardly noticed our surroundings until Izra stopped.
"This is it," she said, raising a palm toward the building in front of us. "The rebel base."
I stared at the building, muscles locked and eyes wide. I had seen this building only once, long ago, as part of a field trip lesson with my tutor. Still, the jarring memory had never faded. Stone walls crumbled, revealing charred support beams and piles of ash. The setting sun cast long, jagged shadows over the ground, and the salty breeze turned cold.
"Rashika's Refuge," I whispered.
The ruins remained untouched to remind the Kingdom of this atrocity Lesser God worshippers had committed. I knew the King persecuted Lesser God worshippers, and I knew the King built the orphanage to raise devout followers of Rashika. Still, I could not see why the Lesser God worshippers would retaliate by harming innocent children.
I turned to study Izra's profile. "Why? Why would Rashika's Resistance choose to build its base under Rashika's Refuge?"
Her eyes locked on the burned ruins, face impassive but for a tick in her jaw. "The founding members all grew up here."
I remember Zander's story about the children stealing from his farm. Denavin, Izra, Ru, Plu, Janafir, Jek...
I furrowed my brow. "I thought everyone died in the fire. How many children survived?"
"All but one."
Izkar. The name flitted through my mind, but I dared not say it aloud. Instead, I studied the burned remains, mind swimming as I attempted to piece together the convoluted puzzle. If the King built the orphanage and the Lesser God worshippers burned it down, why had the children who grew up here devoted their lives to destroying the King?
Unless the King burned down the orphanage. But why build an orphanage just to burn it down?
Izra stepped through the doorway. I followed her, eroded ashes cushioning my step as we passed through the ruins to the stairwell.
A dozen Resistance members scattered the cafeteria. Alira, Navi, and several others knitted blankets at the center table, and Alira jabbered cheerfully while Navi's brow furrowed in concentration. Ru and Plu sharpened blades in a corner. On the other side of the room, Janafir and Jek arm-wrestled, elbows propped on the table, fists locked, and biceps trembling.
Ru noticed our arrival first, and she laid down the weapon and hopped to her feet. "Izra, Epsa, thank Acrador you made it back!"
Jek yanked his hand free from Janafir's, paced three steps toward us, and jabbed a finger at me. "Why is she not blindfolded?" He dragged a hand over his red beard and cast a glare at Izra. "Izra, why did you not blindfold her?"
Knitting needles clicked the table as all attention turned to us, silently awaiting our response.
Izra's voice was quiet but resolute. "Epsa is one of us. Now all of you should sleep so you are ready to meet here at sunrise."
The rest of the group nodded and began to clear supplies. Janafir rose behind Jek and squeezed his shoulder, murmuring something too quiet for me to hear. Jek clucked and breathed a heavy sigh before turning back toward Janafir.
A tentative warmth lit up my chest, tempered by confusion. Did I really deserve acceptance from this group? My efforts over the last few weeks could not make up for years of serving the King.
Izra tipped her head toward the corridor. "Come, Epsa."
I followed Izra down the familiar corridor. When I slowed in front of the usual cell, she snagged my hand and pulled me onward.
"You're not sleeping there anymore."
"Then where will I sleep?"
"With me." She bit her lip, and a blush dusted her cheeks. "I mean, in my room. You can take the bed, and I have a rollout mat."
I raised my eyebrows, surprised at both the chivalry and the hint of embarrassment. Izra bedded a new woman at each Coupling without any shyness. Why act shy now?
Before I could consider further, Izra stopped in front of another door and pushed it open. A room the same size as the cell greeted us. A woven gray rug stretched out across the floor, and a tattered blanket draped over the small bed. Izra sat down on the bed and gestured to the spot beside her.
I lowered myself down just inches away, excruciatingly aware of how easily I could close that space. I could push her back onto the bed, slip her tunic off over her head, and explore her every curve and angle with my hands and mouth. Would she let me? Would that beautiful blush dust her cheeks once more?
I want all of you.
"So, what happened with the King?"
I blinked and sideglanced her. She raised an eyebrow, but a tiny smile quirked her lips. Had she guessed what fantasies consumed me?
I spread my hands over my thighs and cleared my throat. "The King would not tell me anything, but I found information from another source."
"Another source?"
For the next minutes, Izra listened quietly as I relayed the events at the palace, from Honey's sudden attack to the Queen's dying words. When I reached the end of the Queen's message, my voice clogged, and unexpected tears swam in my eyes. I turned away to hide my face.
A hand closed over mine, warm and gentle. "Epsa?"
I swallowed. "I know it's stupid, letting this affect me when I should be focused on how to defeat the King."
"It's not stupid. I love that about you. You are always struggling and learning and... feeling."
I shifted toward her to meet her eyes. "So you love that I'm a mess?"
Her lips twitched, but her gaze on mine remained solemn. "You are so human. And sometimes when I'm with you, I feel human too."
A conversation with Queen Romalda replayed in my mind, when I told her Izra was not a demon and she asked what else a rebel leader could be. Was that the moment the Queen realized how much Izra meant to me?
"You are human," I said.
She shook her head. "Not fully. Not like I was before Rashika's Refuge burned down."
"Izra, was it the King? Did he burn down the orphanage to inspire more hate and fear of Lesser God worshippers?"
Her hand slipped off of mine, and her eyes pinned the floor in front of us. "No, he was not responsible for that one."
"How do you know?"
She released a long breath, eyes still on the floor. When she met my gaze once more, she spoke in a broken whisper.
"Because I did it, Epsa. I burned down Rashika's Refuge."