rlly quick a/n: a lot of my new chapters will be pretty long from now on so enjoy!
Kokichi's POV
When me and Saihara got to his dorm, he lead me to the second bedroom. "You can sleep here for the night, because tomorrow I'm hanging out with Kaede and I can't be worrying about what 'pranks' you'll pull on me."
what a half-assed statement.. I thought to myself. "Oh? Does Saihara-Chan have a girlfriend~?" I teased, trying to smother the memory from when I had to watch Shuichi confess to the pianist.
Shuichi looked flustered, he pretended to face-palm, but he was really just trying to hide his blushing. I felt hurt.
Suddenly he removed his hand from his face and said, "Yes, I admit me and Kaede are dating, how did you even know? And why does it even matter anyway? Weren't you just having a panic attack just because you couldn't sleep? Grow up, it's like you're 6."
I felt hurt at those last two statements. "Whatever Saihara I'm tired I'm just gonnagotobednowokbyegoodnight" I said the last part quickly and pushed Shuichi out of the room, shutting the door quickly.
first of all i was having a panic attack from ptsd but-
you're faking it.
what?
you're faking your ptsd
..no I'm n-
yes you are. attention seeker.
I don't-
I cut myself off before I could zone out. I slowly made my way to the bed in the middle of the room. It was quite large. I pulled the covers up just before it could go above my shoulders and curled into a ball.
I thought being in Shuichi's dorm would've calmed down my ptsd, but it surprisingly didn't. I started to cry, I felt hopeless. Brought the blanket up over my head and cried softly.
Shuichi's POV
After Ouma shoved me out of the room, I went back to mine. I sat down on my bed and started to wonder how Kokichi died in the killing game. I talked to everyone from the killing game but they all say they don't remember.
I'll think about this tomorrow, right now I'm tired.. I thought to myself as I slowly fell asleep.
All of a sudden around 7am, I woke up hearing loud crying. It came from Ouma so I quickly rushed to his room and opened up the door. There he sat on the edge of the bed, he had his blanket draped over him and he was hugging himself while shaking.
"Kokichi! What happened? Are you alright?" Then I remembered what happened last night. his insomnia.. poor Kokichi.. he probably didn't sleep at all last night and I didn't even know..
I could hear him trying to stutter out words. "I-I t-thought s-someone was g-goi- *hic* going to hurt m-me i-if I fell asleep- *hic* and I didn't w-want to b-be forgotten b-by everyone i-if I d-died.."
I tried to calm him. "K-Kokichi its ok! We aren't in the killing game anymore, no one going to hurt you, I'm here. I would never forget you." Immediately after I said that I realized what Kokichi had said.
he doesn't wanna be forgotten by anyone? is that why he acts the way he does...?
"Hey Kokichi, do you fear being forgotten?" I saw him slightly jump at that question. He got up, throwing the blanket off of himself and running out of the room. I tried to chase him but he had already left. I sighed, the only thing I could do was study his behavior.
I then remembered my meetup with Kaede. I shoved any remaining thoughts about Kokichi out of my head and started to get ready.
Kokichi's POV
I layed there in my bed, feeling defeated. I felt tears roll down my cheeks. I sat up and looked out of the window next to my bed. if I remember I'm pretty sure im on the 6th floor.. that should be high enough, righ- ah.. wait.. no. I shouldn't be thinking like this. but its just so.. tempting..
I got up and out of bed, trying to keep myself from ending my life. I thought of stuff I could do in the meantime. I decided to settle on going to the walk, but before I started getting ready I pulled out that box again.
I took out a razor and pulled up my white sleeve. On the outside of it, it was
clean and its original color. But on the inside of it, it was stained with tons of blood stains from cuts I did in and after the killing game.
I slid the razor across my wrist a few times, letting the blood drip onto the white carpet, I thought no one would notice so I didn't bother to clean it up.
I didn't change my outfit, since I liked it and didn't have any other clean clothes. I left my dorm with my arm still bleeding from numerous cuts.
I walked down the sidewalk, I didn't expect to see anyone like Shuichi, Kaede, or Kaito since I was only going to the park. When I got to the park I decided to take a stroll through the woods. I carved "This world is mine!" into a rock and continued to go down the path.
I reached a nearby river and sat down on the wall-like dirt next to it. I contemplated jumping, but since I wasn't that high up and I knew I wouldnt get hurt, I didn't. I sat there for a while, just enjoying the peace and quiet.
No one calling me names or telling me detailed ways on how to kill myself. No one hitting, punching, kicking, or hurting me in any way. I like it here I thought to myself.
That was until I got up and turned around. I saw three people in the distance. I hid behind a tree and tried to make out who was there, which was a bit hard if I was being honest since they were so far away.
I eventually saw who it was. It was Kaito, Kaede, and Shuichi. Then it hit me, why was Shuichi with Kaito when he knew he wrote the note...
I felt so betrayed. More than betrayed. I felt tears come to my eyes, I blinked them back and pretended like I didn't even see them as I started to make my way out of the forest.
Shuichi's POV
I felt really guilty for hanging out with Kaito. I knew he wrote the note since he even admitted to doing it himself, but Kaito was my best friend. I couldn't just stop hanging out with him just for a liar like Kokichi.
It didn't take long before I noticed purple hair walking a bit far away from us. I slightly panicked when I realized it was Kokichi. Did he see me..? I questioned in my mind.
I shook the thought and continued walking with Kaito and Kaede. I took a glance around to see if Kokichi was still there and to my surprise he wasn't, so I just decided to stick to the thought that he didn't see us. thank god, I don't want him to see me with Kaito.
I felt a twinge of regret but didn't care, I just continued to walk. "Anyways, Hey Kaede, what are your thoughts on Kokichi?"
Kaito and I turned to her. She let a warm smile appear on her face and she said, "Oh, he's actually not that bad! Sure he may have gotten Miu and Gonta killed but it was in self defense. And also he's really funny so I don't mind his jokes even if they go a bit far, since I am a fan of dark humor believe it or not."
Kaito looked shocked. I opened my mouth and said, "I would've never guessed you of all people would be a fan of dark humor."
"Shuichi that doesn't matter right now. Kaede, what's gotten into you??? Do you know how crazy you sound? Kokichi is terrible!" She frowned at him. She just shook her head, turned around, and walked away from us, not saying a word.
"What was that about?" Kaito asked. I just responded with "Maybe she just finds Kokichi funny? I don't really think Kokichi's actions in the killing game could've been justified." I paused for a second after saying that and thought to myself. right?
Kaito shook his head. "I'll talk to Kaede later over the phone and try to get her to see what I mean." I felt a bit uncomfortable after Kaito said that. what did he mean by get her to see what he means?
I pondered Kaito's statement before my thoughts were cut off by him sighing and saying, "Sorry Shuichi, im just gonna go back to my dorm. I'm a bit pissed now after what Kaede did. Cya later I guess."
I said bye and then decided to go farther into the woods by myself. I still wanted to see the rest of the forest by myself. Not long after walking a bit deeper into the woods I heard familiar faint crying, but then it stopped. Did they hear my footsteps?
I could've sworn I recognized the crying, but I just couldn't put my finger on who it was. I decided to shrug it off and I just continued to walk, thinking about Kokichi but wondering why I was thinking of him so much lately.
Kokichi's POV
On my way out of the forest, I got carried away in my thoughts and completely forgot I was still in the woods. I stopped and sat down, leaning against a tree. I started to cry. I felt so betrayed.
why does everyone hate me.. what did I do wrong.. I was about to get up when I heard footsteps. Familiar footsteps. Shuichi's footsteps to be exact. I immediately stopped crying, which was a trick I picked up over the years from faking my emotions.
I don't think Shuichi didn't realize it was me because he started walking away after a few seconds. Once I knew Shuichi was finally gone I got up and started walking back to my dorm.
Kaito's POV
When I got to my dorm I went straight to my dorm and picked up my phone, dialing Kaede's number immediately and messaging her.
Hey Kaede, can we talk?
Sure, what do we need to talk about?
Its about Kokichi, listen you have no idea what that little bitch did in the killing game after you died.
Kaito, I'm pretty sure the stuff he did was most likely out of self defense, it is a killing game after all.
Kaede, you have to listen to me, just let me say what he did in the killing game.
Shuichi already told me what happened! Kokichi did his stuff in self defense, no doubt about it.
But did he tell you about the part when Kokichi killed himself and got me executed..
1923 words! This chapter took way too long to write oh my god, it's probably written terribly too (im so sorry if it is) but anyway another cliffhanger!
And also here's a quick explanation: Basically Kaito lied to Shuichi about not remembering Kokichi's death, and the only reason he didn't tell Shuichi how Kokichi died is because he wants to blackmail Kokichi with the information.