J A K E
• • •
"There's no way this shit is edible," Max grumbled when we sat down at our usual table.
"Agreed," I mumbled, poking the slab of whatever-the-hell and cringing when it didn't move at all. I swear- the school lunches were just getting worse and worse each day.
I looked up to where Denise usually sat, and let a small grin spread on my face when I saw her. She caught my eye, and smiled back with a casual wave. I went to wave back, but then felt someone put their hand on my shoulder. My attention snapped over to it, and then trailed up to see Sara sliding into the space next to me.
My smile faltered and my brows scrunched together as she finished sitting down, keeping her hand on my shoulder and then shooting me a cheeky grin.
"Long time no see Jakey," she said, her eyes dancing around my face as she then reached up to ruffle my hair. I stopped her from doing so, but when I looked back over at Denise, she averted her gaze to her friend next to her. I had to stop myself from frowning a little.
"Hey Sara," my teammates greeted her as more of them sat down at the table, and she grinned up at them in response. I shot her another look when she wrapped her arm through mine and held onto it, but I was honestly just too confused to shrug her off of me. She usually didn't get this touchy-feely at school.
"So do you guys plan on attempting to actually win this week?" She mused at them, and they chuckled a little.
Maybe next lunch I'd point out the fact that despite them constantly taking shit, she clearly made them all a bit nervous. I could usually read people really easily anyway, but it was written all over their faces.
I finally had the sense to detach her from me, but while she did let me unwrap her arm from mine, she remained sitting practically on my lap. I glanced over at Denise's table again, not wanting her to be thinking anything of this. Luckily, she wasn't looking.
"If we do win this week, which one of us are you gonna give a prize to after the game?" James joked flirtatiously, and the others laughed, but I just held back an eye roll.
She didn't show it on her face, but I felt her slightly deflate at the question from next to me. She took the hand that she had rested on my leg just moments before back off, and rested it on her own instead.
"That's a strong if, James. You boys certainly have some improving to do on the field before that's even a question," she replied slyly, and the table responded with 'ooo's.
"You've got a big mouth for someone so small," another one of the guys came at her, but she just narrowed her eyes at him, unbothered.
"And you have a small dick for someone so arrogant," she quipped back, and the table erupted in laughter. Even I chuckled a little. Not until after I had slid a little bit away from her, though, creating some distance.
Maybe she was after me so much because I was the only guy who seemed to not make it an effort to insult her or expect anything from her. Who knows. I did feel bad for her, but she was still crazy, so I couldn't cut her too much slack.
"She'll probably be in the away team's locker room making them all feel better after their loss," James commented, and I gave him a look that said 'real mature'. She wasn't able to cover up the blow that this comment had as successfully as she had been able to with the last one, but she recovered before any of them could notice. Not that they would even care to notice.
"Definitely not. There's only one of you buffoons that's currently worth my time, and I can assure you that it's none of you assholes," she said to them and moved closer to me again, wrapping her arm over my shoulder and giving them all a mean smile- making it very obvious that she had been talking about me.
She really loved putting me in uncomfortable situations, didn't she? Either I make a spectacle of getting her off of me and thus make the guys feel justified in their harassment, or I let her stay practically on top of me and risk people thinking we were a thing. So, I just decided to try and make a third option.
"The only one at this table currently worth your time is yourself," I corrected her, and then scooted a bit away again. Something warm flickered in her eyes at it, but one of the guys chimed in before she could reply.
"Well would ya look at that, Jake's pussy-whipped," he chuckled, and Sara immediately turned to glare at him. He laughed at her face, but then stopped immediately when he saw that I was also glaring at him.
"At least he could get some if he wanted, Mike. It's not as though the same could be said about you," she insulted him in the only manner that my teammates understood, and it worked, with him trying to cover up the fact that he was offended while the rest of the table laughed at him.
"I don't know why you're laughing. That applies to all of you," she cut them off, and their reaction faltered for a moment, but then returned to laughter. When they started talking amongst themselves, Sara turned to face me.
"What are you doing?" I asked before she could speak.
"What do you mean?"
"That," I pointed to the way she had yet again rested her leg against mine, and then I scooted away yet again.
"Oh please, we've touched more scandalous parts of each other," she rolled her eyes a little, but respected the space I kept this time. "I just felt like saying hi, the last time I saw you was at the party- you know, when you blew me off to drink alone in the kitchen like a loner," she mused, and I officially gave up on my disgusting lunch, pushing it away from me slightly.
"Actually, I blew you off to leave," I corrected, and she chuckled.
"Well I don't blame you then," she looked over at the table she usually sat at with her friends. The harsh glare they cut her didn't go unnoticed by me, or by her as she quickly turned her attention back to me.
"What's up with them?" I asked, and she sighed.
See, me and Sara, although we would never ever date, still had a bit of history together. More so just because of the fact that we both always ended up at parties that neither of us wanted to even really be at.
We would somehow always wind up together towards the end of the party and just share a drink or she would vent about all the shitty guys that tried to grope her that night. I always believed each story, knowing how shitty said guys were. That made one person in the school that would believe her, though, which is probably why she'd only ever tell me that stuff. My school sure loved to shame people for things they couldn't control.
"They think I slept with Brooke's ex," she filled me in, and I raised an eyebrow.
"Who, Chris?" I asked, and she nodded. "Did you?" I added, no offense intended.
"Would you believe me if I said no?" She replied as if it was a rhetorical question, reaching over and taking my lunch to try and eat it, clearly having to have been several days starved if she was going to attempt to do so.
"Why wouldn't I? Chris is an ass," I shrugged, and it caught her off guard for some reason. Her brown eyes flicked up to meet mine, but I just looked down at my phone when it buzzed. My eyes instantly widened and my heart skipped a slight beat, my brows scrunching in confusion.
I swore under my breath, and replied to Connor, asking what happened, why the hell he was going to the hospital, and why he sounded so casual about it.
"What's up?" Sara asked, but I just brushed it off. I knew Connor wouldn't want this getting around at all.
"Nothing," I put my phone away, and she returned to eating the block of 'food' that she had actually been successful at swallowing. And my opinion on it was saying a lot, since my standard for food was like dirt compared to most people's- blame it on my brother's cooking. Crystal was a pretty good cook, but she'd rather call dibs to have mommy-duty and make my brother cook while she taunted him with Gracie. Maybe that's why it always sucked- he was always so distracted while trying to make it.
I looked back over at Denise, but she still wasn't looking.
"Do you like her?" Sara asked through her mouthful of food, and I almost let myself nod, but quickly reminded myself that no matter how much casual history we had, I couldn't trust her with that knowledge. In the end of the day, she was crazy- as we've established a few times by now.
"How the hell are you eating that?" I dodged the question, and she shrugged.
"I'm on a new birth control that makes me hungry all the goddamn time. But hey, at least it doesn't make it feel like the grim reaper is fucking stabbing my ovaries once a month," she replied, and I raised my eyebrows with an awkward nod. I wasn't one of those guys who'd get super weirded out by periods- especially since I had been half raised by my sister- but I still always felt like I was trespassing in girl talk every time someone would complain to me about theirs.
I looked back down at my phone as Mike cracked a sexist joke to Sara about swallowing, and looked back up when she proceeded to spit out the food at him. The table laughed as she stood up and walked away without so much as a glance goodbye. The team always tried to make a joke of her- but she was the one who always delivered the punchline.
Connor hadn't responded, and I felt my worry grow slightly, but then realized that he wouldn't have been so casual if it was anything bad. Still, though, he knew I had a big 'worrying' problem. We both actually had a tendency to have constant paranoia about our family dying or getting seriously injured- hence why I never hesitated to beat up...
Bruce.
If he had something to fucking do with this..
I texted Connor asking exactly that, and then looked around the cafeteria for Bruce, but came up short. Although, once lunch was over, he caught me in the hallway.
"Jake, hey!" Bruce greeted me, and I immediately felt myself tense up as I glanced over his stupid face and made myself appear utterly uninterested.
"What."
"Have you seen Connor? I just wanted to make sure he was alright-"
"What the fuck did you do to him this time?" I snarled, shoving him back against the lockers he was standing in front of and holding him there firmly. He swallowed and tried not to look nervous as the front of his shirt stayed balled in my fists.
"N-no it wasn't me. I swear," he put his arms up in some weak form of surrender, "Eric. It was Eric. I told him that we had a truce now and couldn't touch Connor but he didn't listen," he said, and I narrowed my eyes.
"If I find out you're lying," I leaned in a bit closer, "You better hope to God that I never find you." I threatened, and he nodded a bit too frantically for him to not be shitting his pants.
"Gentlemen, please," one of the hall monitors approached us and pulled me off of him, but I kept glaring into his weary eyes. "You're on parole, Monroe. I'd suggest you move along before a monitor that doesn't know you comes along," the teacher said to me. I gave them a quick nod as a thank you and then glared at Bruce one more time before turning and walking away.
The only thing that kept me from turning back around and threatening Bruce a little more after the monitor was gone, was the fact that I caught Denise's eyes at the end of the hallway, and she cracked that glowing smile at me.
• • •
C O N N O R
• • •
As we were waiting in the room for whoever-it-was to look over my nose or do whatever it was that they were going to do, I looked over at Crystal. We had been waiting for God-knows how long, and I didn't even want to think about the bill that would come from all this. I hadn't even thought to not let Crystal take me here, but I should have. We couldn't afford this kind of expense- however small or big it was going to be.
"I really don't like hospitals," she admitted anxiously, looking around the room in the same way I did when I felt like the walls were closing in. It made sense as to why both her and Ashton hated hospitals so much, considering their pasts. Considering all of our pasts..
With a weak frown- considering I could barely move my face- I reached over and held her hand. Her leg stopped shaking and she turned her head to look at me, a few tears lining her eyes. Then she smiled softly. I'd always thought it was cool that our eyes were the exact same shade of blue.
Once the nurses came in and figured everything out for me, we found out that I had broken my nose, but that it wasn't out of shape much at all- and the difference would be barely noticeable. I sort of lost track of everything they did- it was just a lot of numbing my face and then shoving stuff up my nose with various tools.
Apparently it had been actually a really bad one due to the angle it was hit at, which was why it was bleeding so much. I hadn't looked in the mirror in a while, but I had no doubt that I was sporting a full black eye by now, at the very least.
They told us that they would send the bill and we could deal with it at a later date, which I cringed at slightly. We thanked them, and then left. The car ride home was pretty quiet, Crystal no doubt reverting back to her 'quiet car therapy' that she had always talked about. She had done it when she was in high school. I guess the hospital sort of brought her back, then.
"Hey, uh," I started, a question I'd been meaning to ask popping into my head, "so, I look a little like you," I started.
"Yup- hence why you're so cute," she joked.
"Do I, uh, well I was just wondering if.. do I look like him?" I asked about my father, and looked over to see her breath catch in her throat. She swallowed, her jaw clenching and unclenching. Then, she stretched a phony smile on her face and looked over at me for a moment.
"Not right now. Right now you look more like a zombie than anything else," she replied, and I forced a laugh for her sake, but then let myself frown when she returned her grief-stricken eyes back to the road.
I should have known not to randomly pop out that question. Part of me took it as a yes, though, because when she spared another glance at me, it was as though she was looking at specific parts of my face that did in fact remind her of him.
"Ashton and Gracie are home, so you can just chill with us until mom gets back from work if you want," she offered as we pulled into the driveway. "Or we can go do something else if you'd rather."
"No, it's okay, this is good," I replied, and meant it. I guess you could call the entire Monroe family my comfort-people, if you will.
I slung my bag over my shoulder when we got out, and felt the breeze on my face like needles being shot at my nose and pinging all around it. Once she unlocked the door and announced our entrance, I heard little footsteps pattering quickly over to us, and then saw Gracie round the corner, jumping up at Crystal, who caught her with expertise.
As Crystal brought her up to rest on her hip and hugged her back, Gracie looked over at me, and her happy little smile immediately fell. She stopped giggling, and instead let out a slightly scared noise, her eyes widening a bit. It made my small smile fall, as well.
"Mommy why does Connow look like dat?" She asked Crystal quietly, who pulled back from the hug to look at her. Gracie subconsciously started fiddling with a strand of Crystal's hair a bit nervously.
"It's just a boo boo," she said casually, and Gracie nodded, but looked at me wearily again as Crystal asked, "where's daddy?"
"On da couch," she answered and wiggled to let Crystal know that she wanted to be put back down. When she was back down on her feet, she shuffled over to me and brought her hand up to hold onto mine. I smiled at her again, her big blue eyes no longer looking scared.
"Come on, I'll give you a hug. Mommy and daddy sayz it helps boo boos," her little voice said and started pulling me into the living room. I chuckled and went with her, sending a look Crystal's way that said 'your kid is too goddamn cute'.
Ashton must have gotten up from the couch, because he wasn't on there as Gracie climbed on top of it and pulled me down next to her. Once I was sitting, she reached up and wrapped her small arms around me.
I'd be lying if I said that a few tears didn't threaten to build in my eyes again at it.
I chuckled again and hugged her back. She even was rubbing little circles with her hand to comfort me, and it honestly wasn't too surprisingly that she was already getting the Monroe-hug down so well. She repositioned herself so that she could sit more comfortably while hugging me, which meant she didn't plan on letting go any time soon, and I held back a chuckle again.
"Tell me when it feelz bettow," she said, her tiny voice muffled against my shirt, and I smiled, kissing the top of her head.
"It feels better," I told her, and she pulled away, looking up at me with the most pure smile I had ever seen. Then, she clambered into my lap and leaned into my chest to close her eyes. She really was like a lap dog..
"Oh hey Con-" Ashton cut himself off when he came back in the room and saw my face. His jaw dropped slightly.
"Yeah, I took your seat, my bad," I joked, but he didn't seem to be in the joking manner as his eyes grew concerned and he walked over to me.
"What the hell happened?" He asked, and Crystal came in the room as well. She looked at me, and I knew she was letting me tell the story.
"Just some bullies," I tried to shrug it off. I had done enough crying and being vulnerable in front of people today, and I absolutely hated it.
"Holy shit," he said under his breath. Gracie was already asleep.
"It's not a big deal, though-"
"Not a big deal my ass," Ashton cut me off, still looking at my nose.
"It's just a free nose job," I tried to joke again, but it didn't land- not that I'd expected it to. I just hated being the center off attention, especially in this context.
"And Jake? Does he know about these assholes?" He asked, and I swallowed.
"That's why he got detention," I replied, and realization flashed in both of their eyes. "I'm nervous that he'll go and get himself suspended if he sees this."
"No, I raised him," Ashton started, and I raised an eyebrow, "he'd get himself expelled."
"And obviously we don't want that," I clarified. Ashton nodded.
"I can't be expelled, though, and I could kick their asses," he suggested, "Crystal could, too, actually." She nodded proudly behind him.
"Guys," I brought their attention back to me, and took a deep breath. "I don't want to do anything. This nose thing was an accident. He's scared of Jake- he's been staying away from me mostly. It was just a quick shove in the hall but I had been flustered so I fell and hit my nose," I said, but Crystal shook her head.
"No, the 'not doing anything' thing doesn't work. Trust me, I tried it," she dismissed it.
"Besides- us two will be easier to deter because we can't get into the school, but Jake won't let it go. And neither will Paige- by the way," Ashton replied, and I sighed.
"I just," I shook my head, "I'm sick of all this. Can we just talk about something else for now? Something that we would normally be talking about right now if I wasn't a freak who gets picked on?"
"Hey, if you weren't a freak then you wouldn't be in this family," Crystal said with a little chuckle, and I smiled slightly. "I'll go make cookies," she added, and as if she had been tasered, Gracie shot upwards.
"Yessss yes yes," she bounced a little in excitement, and Crystal chuckled, leaning down to scoop her up.
"You can help if you promise not to eat as much cookie dough this time. I barely got any," she said, and Gracie responded as they walked into the kitchen. When they were out of the room, I looked up at Ashton, who then sat next to me.
"Are you okay?" He asked sincerely, and I nodded as instinct. "How broken is it?"
"Nothing I can't handle," I shrugged, but I couldn't bring myself to force a smile this time. "It hurts a bit, but I'll manage."
"You know I don't believe you when you say you're okay, right?" He said.
"Yeah, I know," I replied, and it was quiet for another few moments.
We could hear Crystal making Gracie laugh up a storm in the kitchen, and a small smile spread on Ashton's face at the sound. Keeping his eyes towards the kitchen, he said, "Before I met her, I wholeheartedly thought I deserved to die," he paused, looking back over at me, "there's always a light at the end. You probably don't believe that right now, but at least just know it's true."
His words hit deep, and I appreciated them. I nodded, "thank you."
"Of course," he replied, and I could tell from his suddenly lighter tone of voice that the super-serious talking was done for the night, which was a relief to say the very least. "You know, I remember when you were Gracie's age. You weren't as cute as her but you were definitely up there. A close second," he told me matter-of-factly.
"I think you're a little biased on that one," I chuckled.
"I mean, you were cuter than Jake at that age, though," he replied. "Jake was honestly the most hyper and irritating toddler."
"I thought everyone always talks about how calm he always was," I held back a laugh, but Ashton's smile fell slightly.
"Yeah, um, that was after everything happened, though," he explained, and I nodded. "It changed everything about him, really. He had never even really cried before..." he trailed off, zoning a little out and clearly thinking of a flashback or two. Then he cleared his throat. "Sorry, uh, so ice cream?" He offered, and I nodded with a smile. "What flavor?"
"I don't care," I brushed it off, but he turned to me again as he got up.
"Well why would I care?" He responded.
"Okay fine, uh, vanilla please."
"Boringgg," he mocked me as he left the room, and I laughed.
Even just hearing the three of them banter in the kitchen was enough to start warming my heart up again. I was still getting rid of my initial panic from this morning, and I felt it finally flicker out when Gracie came running through the living room with cookie dough on her mouth, shrieking and laughing while Crystal chased her.
I guess if they could find their light, then I could, too. Just because my biological mom didn't want to see me grow doesn't mean that I shouldn't see myself do so- and I guess technically a plant needs light to grow, anyway.
Eh, whatever, for now my light was the smell of these cookies.
• • •
Hey guys!!
A lot is coming... muahaha
QOTD: Have you ever broken any bones?
>>> I broke my pinkie toe (don't laugh). It was such a tragedy
To the moon and back.
Stay briella,
Beautiful <3
^^^
(I know I messed that up but I laughed at it for too long so I decided to keep it as is)