Chapter Fifty-Two : are we toxic?
Parker
I woke up and groaned, my head was fucking throbbing, wait how'd I get back home? I sat up and looked around my room before spotting my bookbag and Paiges. Wait that can't fucking be right, I was not with Paige last night. I was with, fuck I can't even remember her name. Shit, I'm starting off not that well. I got off my bed and saw the aspirin and water next to me. Okay so if I did come home drunk, my mom would not be this nice, nor would Michael and seeing Paiges bookbag but no Paige in sight is really fucking with my head. I took the medication and walked to the door and I heard the tv on and it was a show Michael usually watches, but where the hell is Paige.
I ran down my steps about to beat the shit out of Michael and I saw her at the kitchen sink cleaning. She was quiet, but I still wasn't confident that Michael didn't try to pull anything with her. Since he came back he promised my mom the moon and the stars and I don't believe a bit of it.
"Parker, glad to see you," Michael smiled at me and I ignored him going directly towards Paige who looked over at me and smiled.
"How's your head?" she asked, going back to the bowl in her hand. We have a dishwasher but it doesn't work. Michael was supposed to wash the dishes, he told my mom he would and yet here's Paige who's washing them at five in the evening and she's not complaining.
"I've seen better days," I commented, "I can do those," I then said, I felt bad that she was here cleaning my house.
"No, it's fine, it's given me something to do while you were sleeping. I checked on you every fifteen minutes though," she looked up at me.
"How long have you been over?" I asked.
"Well you showed up to school drunk and I found you making out with I do believe a freshman. I told you to go home and the only way you would is either if you drove or if I took you home. I ended up staying to take care of you because putting my trust in Michael," Paige laughed, "that wasn't going to happen."
"You, you skipped school?" I was surprised, that wasn't like Paige, I've tried to get her to skip many other times when I wanted to sleep in a little longer or not go at all together but she pushed me out of my bed to go and pick her up. I'm not saying she has perfect attendance but she doesn't skip unless she's sick. As in deathly sick.
"Yeah," she nodded, keeping her eyes on the dishes in front of her.
"I, I didn't say anything," how do I word this without sounding like a horny teen.
"Other than asking about our first time and if I wanted to see you naked no," she shook her head.
"I didn't try to do anything with you though right?"
Paige's cheeks blazed red but she shook her head no, "No, uhm," she cleared her throat but stayed quiet.
Why do I no believe her, did we have sex again?
"Are you sure?" I asked her, confused.
"Parker," she looked at me in the eyes before looking away. What the hell did I do to her? She can't even keep eye contact anymore, "I'd tell you if you tried something."
"But your cheeks are red, you aren't telling me something," I stepped closer to her and I didn't mean to intentionally do it. It just felt like she was a million miles away right now.
"I know," she whispered, "umm okay I guess I wasn't honest with you but you," she sighed frustrated, I didn't know who she was more frustrated with herself or me, " you kissed me," she looked at me and the regret I had.
"Fuck, Paige this is why you don't take me home. I get stupid and," she interrupted me.
"It was just one little kiss," she shrugged like it was not a big deal but it was, we broke up. We ended things and me putting myself first to fill my needs wasn't right.
"I still shouldn't have," she looked at me and I suddenly had hope in us again. Fuck, Paige don't look at me like that.
"You're hurting, I mean human connection is something you need right now."
"Right," I stepped away from her, being around her, seeing her ignore my mistakes made me wonder what happened while I was sleeping. Any reasonable girl would be pissed but why wasn't she?
"Did you really talk to Mateo?" she asked randomly and it brought me the reality of everything. She wasn't mine anymore.
"Yeah, last night I swung by his house and talked to him," I was short with her.
"Did you really tell him to date me?" she then asked.
"I was a little tipsy but I do recall that coming out of my mouth."
"Parker, do you want me to date him?" she turned around to look at me and I stared at her, I felt like this was a trick question.
"You said you had feelings for him, you need to figure it out. I recall a conversation we had before about his loyalty to me or some shit so last night I told him to go for it. It doesn't really matter what I want, I told you I wanted you to be happy."
"But what about your happiness?" she waited for my response and I noticed she was closer to me, a towel in her hands to dry off.
"I," I shrugged, "I am happy. I'm figuring shit out."
"Right," she shook her head like she didn't believe me as she turned back around, "because making out with a freshman is figuring shit out."
I smiled, was she jealous? I grabbed her waist and pulled her in close before whispering in her ear, I had a smirk across my lips as I spoke, "are you jealous?"
"Why'd you go after a freshman?" she asked not denying my question.
I went for anyone who'd shoot their shot, to fill my own void. But I couldn't tell her that, that shit was too sentimental and she only got that side of me when she was actually with me.
"Why does it matter?"
"Because, I'm jealous," she said and her being honest was shocking.
"Then come back, no ones stopping you," I turned her around to face me and it's like I asked her to jump off a bridge with me.
"I can't," she whispered and she looked down before stepping away from me.
"Why not?" I asked, "give me a reason that actually is stopping you. I told you that Mateo can shoot his shot and you ignore that to talk about some freshman I was making out with. If Mateo was really an issue you wouldn't have taken me home, you wouldn't have let me kiss you and get away with it. So tell me Paige what's stopping you. And don't give me that shit excuse of you figuring yourself out, you don't have to do that alone. You know how you feel about me, do you not?"
She grabbed my hand and took me upstairs in my room, I didn't know what was going through her head and I wasn't pushing to find out because I knew in the end she'd let me know.
She went in her bookbag and pulled out paper, I was confused and I looked at her write something down and I waited impatiently.
"Paige just say it," my voice raised and she looked up at me before shutting the notebook and she sat on the floor in tears.
I got down on her level and she shook her head, "I can't, we can't," I wiped away her tears and pulled her into me and instead of her hitting and pushing me away she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled herself closer.
"Talk to me like I'm not here," I whispered.
"I did, when you were asleep," she responded, "I can't do it again, I'm so tired, so drained. I can't lose you but I can't be with you."
"You have to pick one baby," I whispered, kissing her shoulder.
"I'm worse than Haylee ever was, Haylee could stay away longer than I could. Not even a day," she responded, ignoring my answer I had given her.
"Haylee wanted one thing from me, lust was all that was in her eyes. Paige you see me," I pulled her out of the hug and held her face in my hands and she looked at me in the eyes before the tears started to flow again.
"God you probably hate me right now," she said, wiping the tears away, "I cry like I can't control my emotions."
"You're just struggling right now, there's nothing wrong with tears."
"Are we toxic?" she looked up at me and I shook my head.
"We're just going through some shit right now."
I heard the garage door start to open and Paige backed away from me, "I should go," she wiped her eyes and went towards her bag putting the notebook and pencil back in it.
"Can I drive you home?" I asked her.
She looked at me and nodded, "yes."
I grabbed my keys and we both walked downstairs and my mom was walking in.
"Paige," my mom then looked at me confused, "it's nice to see you."
"I was just returning some things to him," Paige responded.
"Hey Paige before you go, Jamie told me how you paid for Parker's hospital bill," Michael came out from the kitchen and to hear the news he had surprised me, more like shocked me.
"I'm sorry what?" I looked at my mom and she was trying to shoo Michael back into the kitchen.
"Parker, I told her not to but she kept insisting me on it so I thought it might be a good idea," she looked at me but I looked at Paige who was walking out the door and I caught her before she could get into the truck, I closed the truck door and trapped her in between me and the truck.
"Why? Why the hell would you do that?"
"I," she started into my eyes, "your mom mentioned the bill on the phone to someone and I offered because I blamed myself for what happened and I know she blamed me as well. I insisted on paying it and she eventually agreed so I paid it off," she shrugged her shoulders.
"You quit your job though, so how'd you," she interrupted me.
"I used my savings."
"You mean the savings for college?" I tried to get her to correct herself.
"Parker it's fine," and I wasn't done fighting.
"It's not fine, you didn't need to do that," I raised my voice a little and she shook her head not listening.
"I needed to okay, I couldn't get those guys off you, I wasn't helpful. I just caused problems. Your mom might've been right, I might be cursed."
"So you heard her, you heard everything she said about you."
"She wasn't wrong Parker," Paige looked at me in the eyes, "since we were together I've gotten you in situations that you shouldn't have been in."
"Paige, stop listening to what my mom has to say. She hasn't been there, okay. She doesn't see who you are and hell she doesn't see me sometimes. My mom can be selfish, she can be a pain in the ass sometimes. She tries to protect me from people who are what's best for me. So don't let her words get to your head. You are strong, you are beautiful and I know I don't tell you that enough. Maybe I fucked up on this relationship because I let you forget your worth."
"Was she relieved when you told her we broke up?" I shook my head.
"She was worried about you, she wanted to know why I let you get away so easily."
"Parker," she whispered my name and looked at my lips.
"I don't know why I stopped trying, maybe because I couldn't see you wanting to continue to try. I can see you're worried about something, somethings going on up there and I'm not too sure what it is but I'm here. I'm here when you're ready to talk."
Her phone started to ring and she pulled it out of her pocket and we both looked who was calling, Mateo.
She looked at me like she wasn't going to answer it but I stepped away, "Go ahead, it might be important," and she did.
A/N: since I forgot to post last week due to my busy schedule I posted two chapters this week! We are so close to the end of the story!