I finish my mamoth sized breakfast in record time and set up the dining table for the rest of the house. I usually make a lot of breakfast so there’s always enough for all three of them; even with my own big self.
After leaving mum a post-it note to say I’ve left, I take my £5 share of lunch money from the clear cookie jar on the coffee table and swing my backpack over my shoulder and before finally leaving the flat.
School for me is simply a nightmare waiting to happen. Walking into Maths, I am unsurprised to find that I’m the first in class. Even Mr Jenkins, my teacher isn’t here yet.
This was just the perfect time for me to study. I get straight to it and find that when the bell rang for the beginning of class, I have aced almost half of the whole unit of Algebra. Typical me, using books as a way to avoid the fact that my life a lone mess.
When Mr Jenkins walks in, he doesn’t even have to turn his head in my direction to know that I am already inside.
“Good morning Miss Banks and how are you today?” He asks cheerfully.
I smile back even though he isn’t facing me “Very well, thank you sir.”
He stacks his folders onto his desk and turns to me “We’re studying Algebra today.”
“Yes, I am aware.” I say with a small smile.
“Yes well I am only telling you this because I have realised that you are not very fond of raising your hand during class.”
"Ok?" It is only after I let the word slip out of my mouth before I realise how blunt it sounded. But then again, what else I am to say to that? Its not as if im obligated to participate in class, my only aim is to go through this last year of high school as subtetly and unnoticed as possible.
“And I know that you are one of the best Algebra Students I have ever taught in all my 25 years of teacher here.”
I chuckle awkwardly at his judgement “Mr Jenkins, I..”
“No I'm serious Eva .”
I bow my head to hide the fact that im really not interested in hearing another one of his inputs on how I should be more 'out-there'.
I look up to find him standing infront of my desk
“You know,Evalyn you shouldn’t think too low of yourself, you’re an amazing student.”
Soon after the short conversation with Mr Jenkins, the class begins to fill up with the commotion of the students too.
“Settle down class.”
Class quietens down and the lesson finally begins. Well not for some anyways, because immediately I am about to draw a line underneath the date which I have neatly written, the doors open once agian. I lift my head only to meet contact with the one girl who has single-handedly ruined whatever life it is I have left in me, and also makes it her obligation to continue to do so till the day I rot in hell. Her words, not mine.
Sometimes I wonder why she is even in my classes because in the high school which I attend, all the highest achieving students are put into one class and the rest are split into other classes. And knowing Summer all my life, I am very aware that she has as much knowledge of anything educational as Taylor Swift does on relationships. But then I am also aware that she gets some of the other smarter kids in my classes to do her work for her.
As she walks down the rows of seats the attention of the entire class is on her. Mainly because the skirt she is wearing is 10 sizes too small and along with the fact that she wears lingerie socks with them, you could practically make out her bum cheeks.
She pushes my pencil case off my desk as she strides past but I don’t even think twice of it.
Half way through the lesson Mr Jenkins asks Summer a question. Mr Jenkins never asks Summer a question so you can imagine the kind of atmosphere that has settled in the room; all heads turn her way.
Judging by the shocked expression of Summer’s face, she probably doesn’t know the answer. Like I mentioned the only reason her grades are high is because she gets the other kids in our class to do her work for her. But instances like this- none can save her.
I watch as her lips open and shut in the motion of a fish. But even now, when she looks incredible dumbfounded, she still manages to look so pretty. She was just the kind of girl which all the other girls wanted to be and all the guys wanted to have. This kind of status is something that she used to her advantage very well when it comes to making me wish I never met her.
“Eva ? Do you know the answer?” Mr Jenkins asks. The class turns towards me, and because I am sat right in the middle of the room, I can feel every beady eye on me. And for the first time all attention is on me. This only clarifies the reason why I hate attention.
As for the question, of course I know the answer to it.
“I don’t know the answer Sir.” I mutter.
I feel Summer roll her eyes at me and I swear from the moment I did what I will do next, I knew I was forever going to slap myself for it.
“Actually, sir, its 4.68 recurring.” I say.
Mr Jenkins sends me the widest grin. “Excellent Eva, simply outstanding.”
I send him an awkward smile back and the class finally turns aways from me uninterested.
And summer might as well have set my back on fire because thats exactly what her stares felt like.
The rest of the day drags on. During lunch break Summer poured a whole tub of chocolate yogurt over my head because apparently I'm a “fucking fat shit who tried to make her look stupid in math”. The whole cafeteria erupted at her little stunt. But I didn’t really care about that, I spent my whole life being laughed at so it didn’t make much difference to me. What I really crapped in my pants about is the fact that Summer’s little minions thought it would be funny to rip up all my sheets on the table. This landed me in a detention after school because the ripped up sheets were actually in fact homework I was looking through which was due the next lesson.
Detentions at St Richard Grammar School last hours, which is why I am currently strolling down the estates around my school at God knows what time. The rain beats down harshly on me to make matters worse and because there isn’t a mobile phone in my possession, I cant even call Jay, older step brothee, to pick me up. I can feel my bobed, brown hair stick to my face. Honestly, I'd never felt so unattractive. My life has to be some kind of mistake. Then again it literally is.
The rain becomes more harsh as time goes by, so I take refuge in a nearby grocery store. I smile weakly at the shop-keeper.
“Ermm, do you mind if I stay here till the rain stops sir?” I shiver.
“Of course dear, would you like some hot chocolate?” he asks in his thick Scottish accent,
“no thank you I’d rather not cause you that trouble.”
He shakes his head “ No, no, don’t be daft.” Before I could protest he walks into the back door.
I smile to myself at his kindness and take in my surroundings. Just as I turn around a hooded male walks in. The automatic doors click shut at his entrance. I wearily look away but I feel him gazing at my back.
A few more patronizing seconds with the hooded stranger come by and before I know it he is by my side. I turn and watch his steady movements..
He slowly reaches behind the counter and with some fliddling he gets the cash register to open, there is a small ping sound but he takes no notice. As he does so, the sleeves of his hoody shift, revealing a tattoo on his wrist. He quickly grabs a wad of notes and then another, and another.
I stand by his side, bewildered. I couldn’t believe this was happening. He was robbing the really nice Scottish man who was too busy making me hot chocolate kind-heartedly to know this is happening . And once again, I do something really stupid.
“Excuse me I don’t think you should _”
“Don’t think I should what?” he says in a threatening tone. It takes me too long to realise that in his left hand, he holds a gun.
My heart stops. Literally. Words. Could. Never. Explain. How. I. Feel. Right. Now. I feel my palms begin to sweat.
“Here’s the...” the shop keeper walks back in. Or at I think so. It’s like everything around me has disappeared and all I can see is the gun wedged between the hooded male’s fingers.
“Son put the gun down.” The shopkeeper says in a surprisingly calm voice.
“Shut the fuck up.” The hooded man shouts.
A small gasp escapes my lips as I see that the gun is being raised towards the shopkeeper.
The world is a funny place isn’t it? Just ponder on this; if I hadn’t sheepishly raised my hand to answer the question in math and made Summer look stupid, then she wouldn’t have gone out of her way to get her friends to rip-up my homework, which consequently led to a detention. And now I am here. In this very shop. With this very armed man. Oh God, Summer must hate my existence.
“Please! Take the money, anything! Just put the gun down. I won’t tell anyone about this, I don’t have any cameras either. What do you have to loose, just put the gun..”
“I said, shut the fuck...”
BANG
Do you know the feeling of having a stick of dynamite go off in your stomach? That’s how I feel. I feel like I have just been thrown back 2-to-5 feet or more, as my legs give out on me- falling onto something that feels much like a truck.
There is simultaneously, a feeling like a bomb going off inside of me, and that of being jack-hammered through my chest wall--all of this, all at once. Then, everything seems to go into slow motion. The shop keeper runs towards me and lifts my head off the ground. I can see him, but I cannot at the same time, it’s almost as if the bullet is caressing my insides. Penetrating though my stomach.
Feeling all of this, all at once, a tear rolls down my cheek. My feelings in my legs are gone, just like that, at the same time every breath is a knife turning in my lung.
I feel myself lose my ability to see and cannot tell what is going on around me.
Now all I feel is pain.
**
thank you so much for reading.
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