Caleb ~
Having to sit at the kitchen table while his team was outside talking to his Lainey was tearing Caleb apart. He wanted to run out there, scoop her up and take her to bed where he could hold her all night and explain himself, but he couldn't. He had to sit there and wait for her to invite him outside because that's what she needed. It had to be on her terms and Caleb understood that, but it didn't make the waiting any easier.
Come on Boys. Work your magic.
His heart stalled as he watched his teammates stand and walk toward the kitchen door, waiting for one of them to smile and say they had convinced her to hear him out.
"Give her some time, she'll come around." James said, giving Caleb a sincere pat on the back.
"I take it she's not ready to talk to me yet?" Caleb asked with his shoulders sagging in defeat.
"Not yet. She just needs a little time to process all this shit on her own." Declan said, passing behind Caleb and giving him a squeeze on the shoulder.
The next few hours went by so slow, Caleb could have sworn time was moving backwards. She had been on that couch for almost two hours, giving zero indicators of how she was feeling or what she was thinking, which was pure torture for Caleb.
Where's your head at Lainey girl? What are you thinking about out there?
He sunk his head into his hands keeping Lainey in his sights as he let out an impatient sigh. Willing his soul to reach out and speak to hers, Caleb apologized in his head over and over and over, praying that she might sense how sorry he was without having to speak to him. He was willing to try anything at that point as desperation started to sink in.
Just as he was starting to lose hope, he saw her dark hair swish to the side as she turned over her shoulder to look at him. Those big bright eyes were dull and unsure, but she was looking right at him, which pumped him full of energy as he raised his head with hopeful anticipation.
Lainey whipped her head back around as soon as his eyes locked on to hers, causing a wave of anxiety to wash over him as she forced her eyes away from his.
What was that? Was that a good look or a bad look? Should I be relieved or worried about that look?
His wheels were turning a hundred miles per hour, trying to analyze the look she'd just given him, but before he could work himself into a panic, his eyes picked up on the slight movement of Lainey's arm. She had deliberately draped it over the side of the couch and flattened her palm toward him.
That's the signal for - "stay there, I don't need you" - great.
Just as disappointment started to overwhelm him, he watched her tiny fingers curl into her palm, changing her nonverbal signal from "Stay there I don't need you" to "Caleb come save me" in an instant and his heart practically exploded at the beautiful sight.
Caleb shot up out of his chair, letting himself focus through the darkness, praying his eyes weren't playing tricks on him.
"Sit your ass down, Doc." Declan said over his shoulder without looking at him.
"She fucking signaled me." Caleb said, with excitement in his voice.
Marcus looked over his shoulder and grinned at Lainey's signal.
"Go get her then, brother." Marcus chuckled as Caleb's hand lunged for the door.
Caleb's feet couldn't carry him fast enough as he approached Lainey from behind. He wasn't sure what she wanted him to do or what she was comfortable with at the moment so he announced himself and chose to let her take the lead.
"I'm right here Lainey girl." he said softly.
Taking slow, cautious steps, Caleb approached the side of the couch, but wasn't going to sit unless he was invited to.
Lainey looked up at him and eyed him carefully for a second or two before she flung her blanket to one side as an unspoken invitation to sit beside her.
Hell. Fucking. Yes.
Caleb couldn't help but flash her a smile as he immediately moved to sit next to her.
She scooted her tiny body away from his as he lowered himself onto the couch, maintaining a small amount of space between them. Caleb hated that she hadn't let him hold her, but was going to move at whatever pace she set.
Turing her body to face him, Lainey kept her knees folded in front of her as she took a few deep breaths, obviously having planned out exactly what she wanted to say to him, but trying to work up the courage to say it.
Talk to me Lainey girl. I'll listen to everything you have to say, just please talk to me.
"I know that you didn't pretend to have feelings for me." She started.
Oh thank God.
"It's all real sweetheart. I swear to you." Caleb said in a desperate tone, affirming everything she'd just said.
She gave him a nod of her head, but it seemed forced and difficult as if her head and heart were battling for control.
"I'm going to choose to trust you, Caleb... because there's no way you could have faked that. There's no way you could have made me feel the way that I do if you didn't have genuine feelings for me in return. You asked me to let you explain yourself earlier tonight, but my world was too loud to hear you...I'm ready to listen now." Her voice was soft and unsure like the words that came out of her mouth had scared her.
"I'm sorry I made your world loud Lainey. I'm so damn sorry." Caleb said in a low voice with his brows pulled in and raised in concern.
She was curled in a ball in front of him, looking up at him with eyes full of uncertainty and worry. Lainey had given him the ultimate gift - one that he wasn't sure he deserved at the moment. She forced herself to be vulnerable for him, making the choice to trust him when she had every reason not to, but she was terrified of her own choice and it was breaking Caleb's heart.
"Will you let me hold you Lainey? I'm losing my fucking mind sitting this close to you and not being able to touch you."
A smile lifted the corner of Lainey's mouth and she nodded her head as she moved her body toward him, allowing him to pull her into his lap. He knew they had so much to talk about, but being able to hold her was going to make that conversation so much easier. Everything was easier with Lainey in his arms.
She was tense at first, but eventually melted against his chest as they sat there, making up for all of the loving touches they had missed out on that evening. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, before Caleb finally spoke.
"I know we have a lot to talk about tonight and I will answer every question that you have and put an end to every worry in your heart, but there something I need to tell you before we get to any of that." he said, hoping she'd be willing to listen, but prepared to be shot down.
"Okay," she said softly, in a skeptical tone.
"Lainey, my feelings for you have been the main topic of discussion tonight. They have been questioned and confirmed, they have been discussed and defended, but they have yet to be defined and I want to make sure that you fully understand the way I feel about you."
He wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck and used his thumb under her jaw to tilt her head up toward him. The fire was nothing but embers and he could barely see her face in the dark, but those big bright eyes were locked on to his.
"I'm in love with you Lainey...fully and completely, one hundred percent in love with you."
Lainey gave Caleb a bright smile and huffed out a happy sigh of air to finally hear him say the words out loud.
Before he could say another word, Lainey wrapped her hand around Caleb's neck and pulled his mouth down onto hers, sealing their lips in a kiss that meant more than any other kiss they had shared. Caleb had kissed those lips hundreds of times over the past few weeks, but this kiss - this kiss was unlike any other. He tightened his hold on her neck and deepened their kiss, plunging his tongue between her lips that parted for him instantly. Letting out a soft, almost inaudible moan into his mouth, Lainey completely relaxed in Caleb's arms letting all of the tension and fear that she had been carrying melt away. He felt her go lax against him and held her tighter, supporting her on all sides and holding her in place as he showered her with kisses.
"I love you too," she hummed as she pulled away.
Oh my God. Those are the sweetest words I've ever fucking heard.
"Say it again." he said, pressing his lips against hers once more.
He felt her smile against his mouth, before she complied with his request.
"I love you, Caleb," she said between his soft kisses.
"Again." he said with a grin as he started peppering her neck with feather-light kisses.
She let out a small laugh as he moved down her neck and ran her hands through the back of his hair.
"I love you, Caleb. I love you so much." she giggled as he ran his nose up her neck before resting his forehead against hers.
"I'm never gonna get tired of hearing you say that, so don't ever stop." he said with a smile.
Caleb pulled his forehead from hers and looked down at her, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
"You've got the floor now Lainey girl. I know we have lots to talk about and I'll do my best to answer every question you have."
Lainey let out a sigh and shifted her weight in Caleb's lap, sliding over to one side, but leaving her legs draped across him.
"Declan told me it was his call to keep secrets from me about the real reason why you guys are here. He said you wanted to tell me, but that he shot you down. I understand now that you lied to me because you had to, but It's going to be hard for me to trust you again Caleb. Trust is something I really struggle with and have for a long time." she said honestly.
He hated hearing those words, but he was grateful that she had been honest enough to share that with him.
"I'm going to try my best, but...I'm going to need you to be patient and I might need your help." Her words were soft and unsure, but Caleb was eating them up, grateful for every word that she chose to bless him with even if they were difficult to hear.
"I can be patient Lainey and you know I'll help you however I can. You just tell me what you need and I'll be that for you." Caleb said, tucking away a stray strand of hair.
"What else?" Caleb asked eagerly, wanting to answer all of her questions.
"Declan said your job is a little more complicated than a simple private security firm and I'm having a hard time trying to figure out what that would look like."
She's wanting to talk about what our future would look like - hell yes.
"I'll tell you what it looks like Darlin'. It looks like a tight knit family that would kill or be killed for you. We work as a team, we play hard as a team, we love each other like a family and you are a part of that family, in case you hadn't already picked up on that." Caleb chuckled, turning his head over his shoulder at the men who were sitting inside.
Lainey smiled and nodded at his words, clearly liking the way that sounded, but there was still a hunt of uncertainty in her eyes.
"There will always be things I can't tell you about my job, I won't always be able to tell you where I'm being sent or why I'm being sent there. Sometimes I will, but not always. I'll have to omit certain details about the jobs I work, but those omissions are never to hurt you. They are to protect you so the demons that I leave to go fight never come back to haunt you."
"It's going to take me a little while to get used to that." Lainey admitted honestly.
"I know that baby. Hell, Lexi and Natalie are still getting used to it, but you know what? They lean on each other. Lexi, Natalie and Claire act as a support system for each other when we leave and would welcome you with open arms. Not to mention the fact that there are multiple teams at Knight Security that will have your back if I'm away. Right now Delta team is checking in on Lexi and Natalie, making sure they have everything they need and that they feel safe while Declan and Pierce are here.
Smiling at his words, Lainey looked over her shoulder at the team sitting inside with her brother before turning her attention back to Caleb.
"Your team is your family." she said warmly
"Not just my family, sweetheart. Like I said, family isn't about bloodlines or who you live with, family is who you'd die for and any man in that room would die for you Lainey, myself included." Caleb confirmed.
Suddenly Lainey, tucked her chin to her shoulder, turning her head as far away from Caleb as she could manage as she swiped at a tear that had fought its way out despite her protests.
"You know you can cry in front of me sweetheart. It's just me." Caleb soothed.
"I don't cry in front of people." Lainey said quietly into her own shoulder.
Reaching his hand over, Caleb used his knuckle to lift and turn her face toward him, seeing another tear roll down the side of her face.
"I'm not people, Lainey." He kept his voice soft and even as he wiped the tear way with his knuckle and kissed the spot where it had landed on her cheek.
"I'm going to take down that wall of yours Lainey girl. Brick by brick, day by day, until you aren't scared to be yourself anymore." Caleb soothed, pressing his lips against hers.
"I don't deserve you," she whispered as he pulled away.
"You're right, you deserve much better, but I hope you'll keep me anyway." he chuckled.
Her smile was big and bright against his lips.
"I'll keep you Caleb Tanner, for as long as you'll let me." she said sweetly.
"How about forever? That work for you?" he chuckled before pressing his lips against hers once more, delivering a passionate kiss that made Lainey melt into a puddle in his arms.
I'm yours Lainey girl. Forever and ever.