• description of puking
• mature language
Georges pov=
Im sat with Tommy. Wilbur and Tubbo are just a row behind us.
Tommy falls back asleep, his head returning to using my shoulder as a pillow.
I know he'd never willingly lay on me, so I guess it feels odd. I feel smug about the fact that I know hes done it and he doesnt. Maybe ill tease him about it later just to piss him off.
I wish I could fall asleep too, but I cant.
We're nearly 6 hours into the flight, with only 3ish hours left. That means 3 hours until I get to see him again.
I know when we get there itll be evening, due to the timezones being diferrent. Im unsure if ill go straight there or back to Wilburs.
A vicious typing from the seat behind me interrupts my thinking and catches my attention, so I end up turning my head around to stare.
Tommy moves slightly at my gesture, but doesnt wake up.
Wilburs scratching the back of his neck, looking worriedly at his phone. I watch as he continues to type, pausing every now and again.
"Who're you texting?" I whisper, trying to keep my voice low as to not wake up Tommy.
Tubbo and Wilbur both look up to me, Wilbur trying to look normal, Tubbo trying to do the same but failing.
"Nobody" Wilbur whispers back, sounding innocent.
Tubbo stops leaning to look at Wilburs phone, going back to whatever hes been doing. Its a weird movement for him, and now I know somethings up.
"Whos nobody" I ask sarcastically, my voice raising slightly. I can hear Tommys even breathing, so I know im safe for now.
"Its nothing you need to be worried about"
"Well, ill worry anyways, you know what im like"
"You dont need to worry, ive got it under control"
"Youve got what under control?" I grin, catching his mistake.
He pauses, taking a second to realize his slip up. Tubbos not able to divert his eyes anymore as he watches our mini argument.
"You should tell him" Tubbo inputs quietly.
Wilbur turns to glare at him, as if that was a big no no.
"Tell me" I agree.
"No"
"Tell m-"
"You should tell him" Tubbo repeats.
"Tubbo, shut it" Wilbur hisses.
Tommys starting to stir as I try to twist myself around in my seat properly.
"No, Tubbos right, tell me"
Wilburs now glaring at Tubbo angrily. Tubbo shrugs.
"He'll find out when we get there" Tubbo says calmly. "So you either deal with it now or later"
"So you think him having a breakdown on the plane fits better?" Wilbur asks, "yknow, let it have the dramatic effect?" he adds, throwing up jazz hands sarcastically.
"A breakdown?" I question, but now theyre having an arguement of their own.
"No, im just saying its gonna come out sooner or later" he says matter of factly, "this is unavoidable"
"What is?"
"Later, later is better for something like this" Wilbur argues, "especially when we're trapped in a small flying aircraft hovering thousands of miles above the ocean with no escape" he snaps.
"Something like what?"
But Tubbos already counter arguing, Wilbur looking more angry as the seconds go on.
Tommys starting to wake up, rubbing his eyes as he raises from my shoulder. I listen to them as they start to get louder, people now starting to stare.
"This will just make everything ten times harder-"
"No, you know what will make everything ten times harder? Not telling him"
"Who?" Tommy mumbles sleepily, turning to watch them argue along with me.
"Telling him now means we can deal with the issue the second we land" Tubbo explains, "not telling him postpones everything and itll waste time"
Wilbur stares, and I think hes realizing that Tubbo has a fair point.
"But what if he doesnt handle it well?"
Tommys awake now, and is becoming more confused as the conversation continues.
"Whats happened?" Tommy inputs, but nobodys listening to him.
"I can handle it, im fine" I rush, interrupting them again only to be ignored.
People are definite staring now, with no attempts to hide it. Tommys grinning as he watches the argument, clearly finding it entertaining. I probably would be too, if it wasnt based on me.
"Id rather deal with a small breakdown here versus wasting time that could literally save a life"
I stare at Tubbo, processing his words.
Wilbur turns to stare at me, knowing I heard what Tubbo said.
"What?" I whisper harshly.
"Dont stress, ive go-"
"Ill believe youve 'got it under control' if you tell me what youve got under control" I hiss, glaring at Wilbur.
"No, wait, whats happened?" Tommy repeats, losing the grin.
When Wilbur doesnt respond, I make an attempt to snatch his phone, which fails miserably.
"If I tell you, youve got to promise to at least try to stay calm" he tries compromising.
I turn to Tubbo, whos looking pleased with himself. He nods at me, as if to say thats a fair deal.
"Still dont know whats happening" says Tommy, looking around at all 3 of us.
"Yeah, ill stay calm" I agree.
Wilbur looks at Tubbo, who goes on to nod, giving him the go ahead.
He takes a small breath before going on to tell me about whatever theyve just been arguing over.
"Ranboo was messaging me" he says quietly, trying to divert peoples attention from us, "Dreams gone"
I stare, not taking my eyes from Wilbur.
Gone?
What does he mean, gone?
"George?"
Ive froze, im afraid if I move then everything will start to collapse and I wont be able to compose myself like id promised
"What do you mean 'gone'?" Tommy retaliates.
They sound distant, as if im floating away and theyre staying put.
"Hes not in the apartment" Wilbur shrugs, "we dont know where he is"
I can tell Tubbos watching me carefully, waiting for any signs that im going to snap.
"Can I see?" I ask Wilbur quietly, pointing at his phone.
"Mhm" Wilbur nods, handing it over.
I twist myself back to sitting normally, Tommy doing the same as he peers over my shoulder curiously at the phone.
But as soon as I see Ranboos name in Wilburs contacts, I cant click to read.
My head hurts, every part of me hurts as I think about what im about to see.
My fingers hover above Ranboos name. I want to read it, I really do, but I cant bring myself to physically press my fingers to the screen.
"If you want I can-?" Tommy says slowly, almost sounding nice.
I nod, shoving the phone towards him, desperate to get it out of my hands.
He takes it and clicks into the messages, sliding back towards me so we can read it together.
He scrolls to the top of todays chat.
My eyes find their way to Ranboos chat from a half hour ago.
I know you arent even in America right now dude, but I dont know who else to go to with this. Im terrified something shit has happened.
My heart thumps as I follow to the next few messages.
Its fine, whats wrong? Wilbur had typed in response.
Tommys hands scroll slowly, giving me time to read each text carefully.
I got up this morning and Dreams nowhere to be found, I checked every inch of the apartment and his car is still in the parking lot.
I reread the end of that message a couple of times. If his car is still in the parking lot he cant be far, can he?
Hes just, gone?
Literally, I have no idea where he is.
Tommys waiting for me to tap his finger, telling him he can continue to scroll.
Why dont you try tracking his phone?
Tommy hesitantly slides down the messages, revealing a photo of a smashed phone screen that I know is Dreams.
When I say smashed, I mean smashed. Theres no coming back from whatever hes done to it.
He did that?
I dont know who else it couldve been.
I know why he did it, and the guilt is making my throat start to close up, my stomach beginning to burn.
Did he leave any notes? Anything so you know where he might be?
His rooms such a mess that I cant tell whats what, nevermind finding a note.
I cant continue reading.
I know they arent talking about suicide notes.
At least I hope not.
Yet thats immediately what my mind went to, and now the thought of him sitting writing one is making my stomach churn.
The mix of my nerves, sleep deprivation, and overall everything thats happened in the last 24 hours is starting to process properly in my head.
And when things start to click, I can feel a warm spit pool form in the back of my throat, telling me im about to be sick.
Tommy can see whats coming as he pulls out the brown bag from the seats pocket, holding it out infront of me as I start to gag.
He gets there just in time, rubbing my shoulder as I throw up into the bag.
"Oh, god" Wilbur sighs, "what did I tell you?" he hisses at Tubbo.
When im finished I slump back in the chair, throat sore, my eyes burning.
I can hear Wilbur moving around behind me, ordering Tommy to swap seats with him. Tommy quickly agrees, diving behind me to sit with Tubbo.
My eyes are closed as I try to keep myself calm. Im afraid if I leave the safe space in my head ill be sick again, or even cause a scene.
Hes missing, hes missing and now I know its all my fault.
"Drink" Wilbur encourages from beside me.
I open my eyes to water laying in my lap as he fixes up Tommys seat.
I do as he tells me and chug half the bottle, clearing my throat of its tight burn.
The burn in my throat is gone, but god my stomach is twisted at everything running through my head.
"Wilbur" I whisper slowly, realizing whats happening.
Hes gone for a reason, he didnt leave without an intention.
Dream doesnt do things without an intention.
And deep down, I know what hes doing.
"I know" he hushes, taking my hand slowly.
"Wilbur" I croak, fear hitting me like a brick wall, "Wilbur what if-" I ramble, my hands shaking.
"I know, I know" he continues to hush, laying my head to his shoulder.
I knew the tears were coming, but it doesnt hurt any less when they arrive.
I feel them silently spill over and onto Wilburs jumper as I try to refrain from making too much noise.
Wilbur rubs my shoulder soothingly, trying to keep me calm. He doesnt even complain about me starting to soak the right side of his sweater.
Without him id be an unstable wreck, or at least more of an unstable wreck then I am right now.
Im still shaking, the realization stopping me from moving. I think im in shock.
Hes somewhere out there, and I dont know where.
I cant get to him, im trapped.
We still have two lengthy draining hours left in this small hellhole, and whilst im stuck here, hes still out there, with no idea that im coming back for him.
I cant call, I cant text to let him know im on my way home.
As much as ive been denying it to myself and everyone else, hes still where ive ever felt most safe.
Hes still my home.
But theres no way to tell him that I still care too.
No way to stop him from what I know hes going to do.
No way to tell him that im here, im still here.
And as I lay crying silently into Wilbur side, a gut wrenching thought hits me.
Ill never get to tell him that I love him.
-
-
-
authors note
• 80k, thank you all so so much!