"look, sweetums, i know that you're going through a lifelong phase of eternal forever aloneness and you want to spend the rest of your life staring at channing tatum's patootie. i get that. but this guy,"patrick sniffed and patted my head with his hand,"-really likes you. let your guard down for once ken! we all dont want to remember what happened the last time you tried to get some german sausage-"
"no-"
"it turned out to be french pork."
"damn you." i mumbled, rolling off the bed and and reaching for my phone, hoping with everything i had that there would be a text from luke. but there wasnt. i was being selfish, i knew it, but i also knew that luke was way out of my league. and being under the intense stare of patrick all morning was not boosting my confidence.
"wait so how long are your parents going to be gone?"patrick asked from his position underneath my enromous pile of blankets.
"it depends,"i replied, throwing my phone across the room and forcing myself off of the carpet,"mom said the latest is gonna be sunday night. apparently their mutant cat awareness parade is really big this year, she said the turnout was "catstanding."
"what?"
"i dont know. so are you gonna make me order the pizza or are you gonna pick your lazy fried rice ass up and do it yourself?"
"i love it when you're mean to me kenadick." patrick winked and picked up my phone from the floor, earning a nasty glare and a not so polite finger from me.
i waited for patrick to order the pizza with my head buried in a pillow, hoping for heavenly shit that luke would climb courageously up to my window wearing nothing but those tight black jeans and say that he forgived me and that i had not been an asshole the last few times i had seen him. even though i knew it wouldnt happen, there was still an overhwhelming guilty feeling in my gut that all of this had been completely my fault. if i had just refused to help luke that day when he was thirsty for tomatoes, his life would be one hundred percent less crappy, and he wouldnt have to keep up with me and my constant overthinking.
"yes, yes i want pepperoni why the hell would i want anchovies on my pizza who do you think i am? an exotic hawaiian woman? no sir. i am a united states citizen."patrick continued to ramble on to the employee over the phone will i shoved my fist in my mouth to keep from laughing. (comment anything dirty about this sentence i destroy u)
**
by the end of the night the only productive thing patrick and i had accomplished was scaring off the pizza delivery guy with naked pictures of jared leto and patrick continuing to throw soggy pepperonis at me while i stared unblinkingly at my phone.
"should i text him?"i blurted after patrick had finished off his very important japanese golfer joke. (holy shit i apologize i had to if you know where this is from and u feel me i s2g)
"noooooo kennedy. he was the one who implied that you two "think it out","he waved his hands in the air, and bit off another piece of crust,"wait for him to resume communication."
"jesus god patrick since when do you know so much more than me about men?"
"not quite sure,"patrick's lips went slack,"but uh, maybe i just have a gift for helping the lame ass seventeen year old women of the world."
"no, no, but it's like. it's all my fault, i was the one who goes all batshit crazy whenever he tries to make a move and what guy wouldnt have a problem with that? what guy with feelings for someone wouldnt feel insecure if they didnt want to be participate in the physical stuff?"
"ken, seriously, stop. none of this had to do with you, i mean sure you're full of unnecessary dramatic shit but there's nothing wrong with wanting to go slow. he should understand that, and if he hasnt by now, he isnt worth it. you know that, right?"
i sighed,"right. i guess." i slumped backwards onto the bed and rolled over to patrick to give him a hug while he hummed the office's theme song and scrolled through numerous photos on his ex girlfriend's instagram.
"ohhhhhhh yep oh my god,"patrick yelped suddenly after a long pause of silence, throwing me off of him and climbing off the bed,"kennedy foster im sorry but there's this party at drake mullen's house and like three fourths of my ex girlfriend is going to be there and i have to go im sorry i have to-"
"what hold up mr. kanye west, three fourths? and what happened to 'you being here all weekend and never leaving me until i recover from my emotional breakdown thing'?"i asked, watching as patrick shrugged on his jacket and leaned over the bed to recover his shoes.
"ken. come on."he groaned, shoving both feet into his converse. his face had now become completely flushed and he was practically tripping around my room to try and find the rest of his things.
"erg."
"look,"he stopped throwing pieces of clothing out of his path and looked me in the eye,"it's only for like two hours. that's all. and then i'll come back only slightly drunk, and,"he shoved his phone into his back pocket,"i'll bring you back subway."
"ugh fine, but only because of the subway part."i hmphed, flicking him on the forehead and shooing him out of the room with my hand.
"thanks babe! i love you forever and always and infinite shit!"patrick yelled as he traipsed down the stairs, and i rolled my eyes when i heard him trip down the last step and slam the door behind him.
**
another practically cannibalistic sex scene flashed before my eyes as i curled deeper into the covers on my bed and listened to the rain pound onto my window outside. it was two hours later than patrick had said he was going to be home. and i had long forgotten his promise of subway, which resulted in my consuming of a whole tub of ice cream and three bags of specifically hidden away gummy worms that were left for only such tramatic occasions.
after a few more minutes of action went by on the screen, there was a knock on the door. figuring it was only patrick or the estranged neighbor from next door who had contracted seventy year old herpes, i pulled a blanket over my exposed shoulders and shuffled downstairs. it had been a half hour into the movie when i had started to get hot and pulled the shirt off of my head, leaving me in nothing but a sports bra and a pair of sweatpants.
there was another knock, and another, as i struggled blindly to unlock the front door and resuce whoever was getting soaked on the front step.
"uh, hello."
luke. he stood at the top of the step. hair soaked and saggy as it fall onto his forehead and covered up a portion of his eyes, black shirt stuck to his prominent ab muscles.
"hi, luke. i um, i didnt expect you."i said, gesturing to the blanket wrapped around my shoulders.
"i know you didnt. im sorry. is this a bad time?"
"well, i mean it is two am, but-"i stepped to the side, gesturing him into the hall.
"no. dont. i just need to explain."
"luke you have nothing to explain, please dont...please dont apologize. because you did nothing wrong. and you shouldnt be here,"i scratched my ear,"ya know, wasting your saturday night."
"i'm not wasting it, kennedy. talking to you will never be a waste of my time. ever."
"i'm sorry."i whispered, shrugging.
"no. i'm sorry. im sorry for making you feel bad when you wouldnt kiss me and im sorry for telling the boys we are just friends when we're actually not because maybe you are but i will never be because i dont think i can spend another day wondering what might have been if i didnt come here and apologize for everything and everything's that happened im sorry for pushing you to help me on that first day when i was looking for a tomato plant and im sorry for looking at you when you went to mcdonalds and im sorry for ruining your ice cream and inviting you onto my roof and taking a job at the greenhouse and ruining your life and messing up your movie and making you educate me in olive garden and taking you to meet my extremely dirty minded best friends and playing you a song that you probably dont even like and im sorry for showing up at your house at two am in the pouring rain and-"
i shoved my hands onto his belt loops and pulled him to me, pressing my lips onto his soft ones. pushing us both into the cold rain as he let out the breath he had been holding, his warm hands finding my waist as the blanket slipped off. my arms finding the base of his neck and hands tugging through his hair. it was complete and utter stupidity, but i absorbed every minute of it as the thunder became louder and drowned out the noises luke made in the back of his throat. we were now soaking wet by this time, the street's lights had become dimmer, and a dog was now barking somewhere behind us. but we hadn't noticed. it was just luke and i in that moment, completely drenched by the freezing rain but not caring because nothing felt warmer than his hands running up my sides and his lip ring rubbing up against the bottom of my mouth.
luke pulled back slowly after what seemed like a lifetime and pressed his wet forehead to mine, reaching up to pull my soggy hair away from my eyes.
"you just kissed me."he breathed.
"i just kissed you."i imitated, chewing furvently on my bottom lip.
"i've never been kissed by a male barbie before. it was definitely a lifechanging experience." luke smirked and pressed his face into my neck, hiding from the freezing water droplets that continued to fall.
i wrapped my arm around his shoulders,"shut up, dumbass."
........... .........it happened............................................................
guys they kissed im????????????? surprised with myself i didnt know it would happen but i feel like im moving this story too fast like its chapter 10 and i feel like this book is rushed and im embarassed by it im SORRY i lobe you guys so much and this was by far one of my favorite things to write evn if it was awkward and cliche and scandalous because ken lost her shirt along the way..............but i really hoped u liked it and more exciting things are coming u just wait bbe!!
anways megans life update time segment part of the a/n where i bore you to tears after just writing a mildly sexual make out scene lets begin:::: just kidding i didnt do anything all week surprise
this is so long but i have my first soccer game of the season tomorrow and i dont whether to be pumped or not because our jerseys are gross but yes pray for me pls and have an amazing week guys and just know that i love you and im so ososo grateful for everything you've done for me because it was literally all you like i wouldnt be here if it wasnt for you reading this right now yes you i really just want this to make you happy and hopefully put a smile on your face because thats what writing is about for me especially and i hope it works out because i love you sooooo much and you deserve every happiness okay. i mean it ya fricktard.
update: I WAS JUST WEIRDLY INFORMED OVER SOCIAL MEDIA THAT SOMEONE I USED TO KNWO KINDOF JUST MET JAMES FRANCO AND JIM FROM THE OFFICE HOW DO I DEAL WOTH THIS INFORMATION IM SO???/
this is present megan i watched the video on the side three hundred times goodnight
-slightly confused megan