"Come on, love. This is your favorite chicken dish from Asher's nan," Zander's words registered in my mind, but I wasn't really paying attention.
The white walls surrounding me were starting to play tricks with my eyes. Sitting inside an enclosed space for hours felt like being sandwiched alive. The only time I would ever go out of the waiting room was when I would use the bathroom or if Aunt Claire would drop by to give me something to eat.
I didn't know that surgeries could take this long. Even so, I wouldn't dare go home. I had to be here when Lake would come out of the operating room. I wanted to be here, even though he wouldn't see me.
"Just take a bite, Jannah." Fiona lifted a spoonful of the dish in front of my face, trying to distract my thoughts. Her dark-tinted eye line and mascara stared back at me in deadpan.
"You have to eat. Otherwise, we'd be sending you down at the emergency room," Zander spoke, his tone turning serious than ever. "You don't want that, do you?"
Partially opening my mouth, I leaned over to the spoon Fiona was holding and munched on the chicken casserole. Its texture blended in my mouth, but it tasted strange, almost as if I was chewing on paper. Maybe I do need to be rushed to the ER.
"Have some more." Fiona continued to feed me as I struggled to swallow the mixture in my mouth.
Zander brought out his phone from his pocket and fiddled on it. "After that, we're going to drive you home so you can have a rest."
"I can sleep here," I answered, looking at the couch he was sitting on across me.
"You've been sleeping here for days," Fiona pointed out.
She was right. Ever since Lake was admitted here, I just couldn't let my mind go to rest. I missed my classes and skipped meals. It was worse than anything I had experienced before in my life. At this point, I just wanted for him to live.
A knock on the door broke me off from trance. Turning to the side, Mr. Thompson came in with a stoic face as he directed his gaze at me. "Jannah, do you mind if I talk to you for a bit?"
I rose from my seat at once, nodding at the middle-aged man. "Of course, sir."
"We'll be right here, Jannah," Zander assured me as I turned to him and Fiona with a thin smile.
Stepping out of the door, I tried to think of what Mr. Thompson was going to say to me. He would probably tell me to leave, that it was best if I wasn't here. After all, I wasn't doing anything to help Lake. I was just there... waiting until he'd wake up.
The whole time I was following Mr. Thompson, I could only hold on to the silence that was comforting me. I had a chance to run, but the moment the elevator doors opened, I knew I was going straight to my doom.
"You're Jack's daughter, is that right?" The man started to speak, his voice bouncing against the corners of the silver walls.
"Y-Yes, sir."
The elevator stopped on the first level, my heartbeat accelerating as I trailed Mr. Thompson's back. He led the way towards the cafeteria at the lobby of the hospital. Gesturing me to sit on the vacant chair in the corner, I prepared myself for his next words.
"Your dad is my older brother."
The way he said it so casually made me question his credibility, but now that I was seeing his face this close, I could tell his resemblance with the photo of my dad... the one on my lost locket.
Mr. Thompson looked away for the first time, allowing the background noise to fill his thoughts. "Jack passed away years ago from a heart attack. He had always wanted to see you, Jannah. He just didn't have enough time to do so. I knew he loved you and your mom so much."
This time, I had to stop breathing, letting the truth sink in my mind. My father is dead. I always thought that coming here would fill the hole inside my heart. Despite not seeing him, it still hurt knowing that I would never see him again.
"If only he's here, I knew he'd be really happy to see you."
Pulling my head down, I blinked the tears forming from my eyes as the veins on my temples burst in a messy pace. I didn't even care if people were staring at me in that moment.
My hushed sobs would not die anytime soon. When I felt a hand on mine, my heart only cried even louder than before.
"I know it must've been difficult for you, child. I've lost too many people in this lifetime that I only became numb from it," the man spoke, attempting to comfort me, but it was just not working.
And when he said, "I also know how my son feels about you," I had to look at him, guilty that I felt the same way for his son.
"S-Sir?"
"I'm not even surprised about that." Mr. Thompson shook his head lightly, his hand still resting on mine. "But you don't have to worry. You see, we adopted Lake when he was a kid. That's why he and I... we're not exactly getting along well, and I'm not proud of that."
To say that my heart and mind were in a state of shock in that moment would be an understatement. "Does he... know that he's adopted?"
"No. We always told him he's our real son."
I wasn't sure if that was for the better or the worse.
#
I watched the petals of the flowers scatter on the ground beneath me, gravity betraying me again as tears trickled down my cheeks. It had been weeks since I learned the truth about dad. They said only time could heal wounds. In my case, I could only wish time would tick faster just so I could avoid all the sadness filling my heart.
"Dad, I wish I could've..." I mumbled in between my sobs, the warmth of my tears wrestling with the chilly breeze. "That I could've still seen you."
"I've been listening to the song you recorded for mom. I think you have a really unique singing voice," I attempted to lighten my mood, taking out the cassette player from my sling bag.
"See the stone set in your eyes... See the thorn twist in your side... I'll wait for you..."
Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine dad singing the song in front of mom. When I called her that night to tell her what I found out about dad, she didn't even hide her tears from me. She must've still loved dad after all this time. It was probably the reason mom never even dated another man again.
"I can't live... with or without you..." I sang the last lyrics of the song in a low voice as the music faded out.
"Not bad."
The recorder stopped along with the rhythm of my heartbeat. I turned around and my eyes met a beautiful human being. Apart from the sling holding his right arm and the tiny purplish marks on the sides of his face, he still looked flawless to me.
"Lake," I spoke, pulling the earbuds on both my sides. "I thought you're supposed to be in LA-"
He flashed a small smile, his green eyes not leaving mine. "I wanted to see you first."
Nodding, I forced a smile, not wanting to show any sign of gloom. When I heard he was leaving Moss Vale days after he got discharged from the hospital, I wanted to rush to him and tell him to stay... that we can be together now because we're not blood-related after all.
But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was still mourning at the fact that my dad was already gone. And I knew Lake needed some time for himself to recover as well.
"I'm glad to see you here." I took a step forward, reducing the distance between us. "Can I just... give you a hug before you leave?
When he nodded, I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around him, imprinting in my mind his warmth and scent. There was no telling when I could see him again or if he would even want to see me.
I slowly let my arms down, restraining myself from holding onto him longer. But his arm suddenly pulled me in tighter, making it harder for me to back away. "Thank you," he hushed under his breath.
"F-For what?"
"I heard you stayed at the hospital. Thank you for being there for me."
"I wanted to be there when you wake up."
"So, you really thought we were half-siblings?"
This time, I pushed him lightly, freeing myself from his embrace. "You knew you were adopted?"
He shrugged, suppressing a smile. "I wasn't sure then. When you told me I'm your half-brother, I immediately asked for a DNA test. I was driving when I got the result, so that led into the car accident."
I blinked. "Does that mean it was my fault you got into an accident?"
Shaking his head, he turned his attention to the tombstone on the ground. "I always knew that I wasn't a part of their family... that there has always been something missing in my life. When I confronted mom and dad about it a few years ago, they said I was crazy to think like that."
"I felt like everyone was lying to me back then. I didn't know who or what to believe in. I considered taking my life several times, but I was lucky enough to have the guys around to stop me from doing so..."
"And then you came along... That note you've written somehow left a mark in me."
"Note?" Racking my brain, the only notes I could remember giving him were for his exams. I didn't write him any love note or some sort.
Lake stifled a chuckle, bringing out something from his jeans pocket. When he started swiping on his phone screen, a distant memory slowly creeped in my mind. "Here." He handed me his phone, and I almost dropped it upon seeing what he was talking about.
"Hey, sorry for taking your phone, but I had to call someone to pick you up. Also, just because someone left you doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Unfortunately, God is not always there to help us. You're not that special for Him to be treating you any differently. Sometimes, you have to stand up on your own. That's what He wants us to do.
P.S. If by any chance, we meet again, please don't ever mention that you read this."
Pursing my lips, I instantly felt my whole face burning in shame. When I typed this note back then, I didn't think I would ever see the drunk guy cursing in the middle of the park ever again.
Lake finally let out a chuckle. "I thought it was cute. If you weren't there that day, I would've been a goner by now."
I frowned at him, unamused by his comment.
"Also, I have been wanting to give you this..." He rummaged something out of his pocket again and when he opened his palms, my jaw dropped seeing the familiar shiny thing.
"Where did you..."
"I found it at Benj's place. It probably fell when you were drowning in the pool," he answered. "It would be more romantic if I can put it myself, but unfortunately..." His mouth pointed at his broken arm as he waited for me to take the locket from his other hand.
"You can still help me if you want to," I challenged him, taking the necklace and spreading both its ends.
I handed him one end as I took the other, positioning it over my neck. He moved behind me, his hand tingling the back of my neck. "Is it done?" I asked, still clutching the other end and ignoring the clumping of butterflies in my gut.
"Not yet," he mumbled and in that same moment, I felt a warm sensation on a spot that I never even thought could feel such flame. It lasted for a few seconds before I finally realized what he just did. "There. All done."
Turning around, his face greeted me with a triumphant smile. I couldn't help but wonder if I could even breathe without him now. "Are you... really transferring to Sandringham?"
"Not when you're here... no." Lake closed the gap between us again, his chin brushing on top of my head as he planted a kiss on it.
In that moment, I knew that was where I needed to be and I wouldn't want to change a thing...