I kicked a rock as I watched Liam run his hand through his hair for the tenth time. "Admit it, your lost".
He sighed and shook his head. "I'm not lost".
I scoffed. "It's nightfall and we haven't found any sign of water. I doubt I can even remember the way back up to that mountain top".
Liam tusked. "Then it's a good thing you're not leading the way".
I sighed in frustration and continued to follow after him. We're so lost.
It didn't take long for us to receive rash ointment. As soon as we were exited that field of poison ivy we heard that beautiful little whistle. A jar filled with ointment and a note...
Keep your eyes open,
-F & J.
It's put Liam on edge. The fact that we're missing something or like I'd suggested we might encounter mutts in this arena. I mean, what else could it be?!?.
Liam sighed frustratedly before turning to me with a shrug. "Might as well set up camp for the night".
I smirked and he shook his head at me in amusement. Yep, we're lost. I sniggered. "Sure, I'll start a fire".
He didn't say anything but really he didn't need to. So, I made the small fire and together we sat on either side of it. The fire lighting up our faces as the night continuously darkened.
I stared at the sky but clicked my tongue in disappointment. No stars. I could feel Liam's eyes on me and I looked down with a raised eyebrow.
He rubbed his neck awkwardly. "So, District Seven?. Is it just all trees and bushes that give you rashes?".
I shrugged casually but I knew where this is going. That inevitable conversation, it's fucking get to know you time. "I guess. Well, no it's...not so bad. The industry, lumber, I guess to most people is boring. We can only ever have two jobs; lumberjack or working in the printing press".
Liam smirked. "Lucky then. In four, your only choice is to fish or sell the fish".
I crinkled my nose in distain. "Sounds fun".
He exhaled and glared bitterly at the fire "Yeah, fun".
I gave him a small smile. "You'd be good at that though. I've seen you fish, your amazing at it".
He smirked although it didn't reach his eyes. "You'd make a great lumberjack. You're amazing at it". He scoffed bitterly. "Doesn't matter anyways. We'll only ever be a Victor if we make if out of here alive. Living in a mansion next door to our parents. Forever living the same mundane routines".
And suddenly I couldn't imagine anything worse. If I win, I'll forever be tied to Johanna. We'd have the same job, same lives and the same routine. Mentoring together with her and Blight every year. I frowned. "You know it's funny. I hadn't even considered winning until just now.".
Liam rose his head and gave me a surprised look. "What do you mean?. What's been going through your head this entire time if you've never considered winning it?".
I bit my lip and stared hard into the fire. "Trent and I, we had this...this plan".
I could feel his eyes observing every inch of my face. "What kind of plan?".
I closed my eyes. "W-we weren't going to play. We were just going to hide it out. The entire thing we'd maybe steal or I don't know. Do we whatever we could not to kill anyone in here.". I opened my eyes and locked eyes with his. I could feel myself tearing up. "I-I thought I didn't have it in me to kill anyone. That I was so different from my mother that I couldn't ever do it. But it f-felt as easy as breathing. And I feel nothing. So, I don't know, when I was reaped...even in training I thought we'd eventually die. An arrow by one of the Mellark's or something. But when I saw you training I knew deep down we couldn't win it. Not by not killing anyways. That's why I refused the alliance and why I told you to gut me. It would've been a relief because I didn't think I'd be able to kill." I hung my head and stared up at the sky in frustration. "I didn't come in here planning to win".
Liam's eyes looked angry. He shook his head and glared into the fire. He didn't say anything for a while before those gorgeous eyes met mine again. "I'd never gut you. You know that right?. I wouldn't ever do that, not to you".
I sniffed and felt myself wiping at my eyes before anything fell. I nodded and Liam's shoulders seemed to relax just that little bit more. He shot me a small smile. "And I've seen Poppy Mellark in action. She's good but...you're better".
I smirked. "Yeah, I didn't say I wasn't just that I didn't have it in me".
He nodded and then gave me a pointed look. "And now you know you do?".
I nodded and he winked at me. "Good. I freaked out yesterday when you didn't immediately kill that girl. If you hesitated like that again then it's a good way to get...". He paused as if trying to find the right choice of words. "Hurt".
So killed. I shrugged. "Don't worry I won't hesitate next time. I promise".
He nodded and shook his head. "And you're not like Johanna. Just because you're an axe murderer and share half her DNA doesn't mean you're anything like her".
I smiled at him and he returned it with a small shrug. "Thank you. And you're...".
Was I really just going to say not like Finnick?. Is being compared to Finnick Odair even a bad thing?. Come to think of it, what's his relationship even like with Finnick?.
He rose his eyebrow at me expectantly and I shrugged. "You're ...not at all what I expected you to be".
He chuckled. "You know, for a second there I thought you were going to say something else".
I nodded. "So did I. But...God is Finnick even really that bad!?!".
And for once, Liam was the first crack into fits of laughter.
I giggled and shook my head. "Sorry".
He sobered up and smiled at me. "Don't be. It's just, I don't think anyone's ever had the balls to question my parents before. Usually they have a snide comment about mum. But someone questioning Finnick?".
He chuckled and shook his head. "I don't know. They're...well they tried". He sighed and shook his head. "To their credit a part of me believes that they actually tried. But some people, and I say with love. Some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids".
Woah. I don't know what I expected but it certainly wasn't that. I wondered if we've suddenly been turned off by game makers and switched to a different set of tributes. Perhaps the careers. Because there's no way in hell that they'd let this air. They wouldn't show us badmouthing Panems biggest celebrities. Outing our destructive childhoods that've made us famous. I smirked, I wonder how much of Liam's speech Panem heard before we got switched over?...
He stared hauntingly at the flames and pulled on the sleeve of his jacket. For the first time in the arena I didn't view Liam as a strong confident man. No, I saw a boy who didn't know who to be when he wasn't caught underneath daddy's shadow. "They weren't all there all the time, if you get what I mean".
I frowned. "What, they ignored you?".
I could relate to that. He shook his head in amusement at me. "No I mean, mentally they were checked out. And they had this belief of not having anyone but themselves raising me. Mum, she has attachment issues. If dad or I leave she just...stops. And dad isn't what you think he'd be behind closed doors. At home he was never Finnick Odair. He was just that guy that'd teach me tridents and try to pretend that everything was fine. It was never fine. She was never fine."
He gave me a small smile from opposite the fire. I gave him a regretful one back. "I'm sorry. For what I said when we first met. I didn't mean to call your mum insane. I met her briefly before my interview and she laughed in my face. I mistook it for being rude...I'm sorry".
He shrugged. "It's not the first time I've heard it".
I didn't like they way his voice lingered as if he might blurt out besides it's true. I suddenly giggled. "So, because Finnick pretends that's everything's okay you don't think he's a good parent?".
He shrugged. "He's not a good parent".
He said so defiantly so without question. His gaze was on me and I could tell then that he's never been able to say this before. After all what are they going to do?. Kill us?!?
I nodded and stared at the dancing flames. "For what it's worth, Johanna's not a good parent".
He exhaled and gave me a tight smile. "What about your dad?. I don't think I've ever heard anything mentioned on him".
I scoffed. No interviews of him he means. I glared bitterly at the fire. "I asked her once. All I got was a cackle and 'some lumberjack'".
He frowned. "I'm sorry".
I smirked. "Don't be. You can't miss what you've never had. At least you've got a dad".
He shook his head bitterly. "Finnick isn't really...". He sighed. "I don't think Finnick is capable of loving anyone but mum. Even me, sometimes...the way he looks at me. I swear it's like he sent me off to the arena years ago and now I'm just a walking reminder. A waste of space.".
Shit. That's...fucked. I squinted at the flames. "I'm sure that's not true."
He shrugged. "Sure it's not. Because Finnick Odair is perfect right?.". He scoffed. "You know, only a real psychopath could've won the games at fourteen".
Oooh and suddenly I understood everything. Finnick and Annie Odair shouldn't be allowed to have children. Not because they're incapable of a loving household. But because Annie is crazy and Finnick is a psycho. Together they've been tasked to raise Liam. It might've been a relief when his father left for the Capitol. Sure, Annie might accidentally neglect him. But Finnick had a split personality...and I could tell Finnick scares him more than Annie ever would.
He sniffed and met my eyes. "Guess being the daughter of Johanna Mason can't be that bad now, huh?".
I frowned. Boy you have no idea...