"Are they still claiming that Aunt Mary's a witch?" I asked the family as we walked Into the wake of our Aunt Bridie. "Yes. But she's not a witch! Caoimhe, don't go spreading that now." Gerry whisper shouted at me. I hadn't heard the conversation that the family had had previously, due to James taking me out on a date. I'm pretty sure it was to prove that he only had eyes for me, and not my boyfriend stealing cousin, but none the less, it's was grand.
As soon as we entered the house, me, Orla and Erin separated from all the adults, wanting to entertain ourselves instead of sitting and listening to the boring conversations that were undoubtedly going to be held by the adults. We walked into the room where Aunt Bridie was resting. "She really suites being dead, doesn't she?" Orla questioned. "Aye, now she can't remind me about how much of a disappointment I must have been to my mother for her to leave me here." I said, being honest about what Aunt Bridie used to tell me frequently. I poked her cheek as the door opened, revealing Clare and Michelle peaking round the corner. "Can we come in?" Clare whispered to us. "Why are you whispering?" Erin asked her. "I don't know." She told the girl, before entering the room. Michelle and James following. "Thanks for coming guys, it's nice to have a bit of support at this very difficult time." Erin said, solemnly. "Oh shut up Erin, you hated her as much as I did." I told her, before cupping Bridies face and inspecting her earrings to see if they were valuable. Well she wasn't going to need them now that she's dead so I may as well make some money. James grabbed my hands away from the body. "Okay, can I just check something?" He asked while still holding my hands. "Everybody Else can see the dead body, right?" He asked as if he was going insane. "It's just Bridie!" Erin said, almost flirtatiously. I looked her up and down before wrapping my arms around James torso. "It's Bridies corpse. It's Bridies dead corpse." James tried to correct the girl. "It's her wake. What were you expecting?" Michelle questioned him. "Aye, you can't celebrate someone's life without them being there can you?" I rhetorically asked him. "Haven't you ever seen a dead body before?" Erin casually questioned the boy. "Of course not!" He told us, as if it where normal. "Christ, but the English are weird." Michelle said, making me nod in agreement. "Aye, James. I'm sorry but that is a bit weird." I told him honestly,
Making him pout down at me.
"You can touch her if you want." Orla told him, touching Bridies face. I nodded along, grabbing her hand. "Aye, you can" I smiled at the boy before he snatched my hand away from the body. "Why the hell would I want to touch her?! Why are you touching her, Caoimhe?" James questioned me. "It's nice" Orla simply said, making me giggle. I reached for her hand again, making James slap it away. "Stop it!" He shouted. "It's just a dead body, James. We're all going to be one someday." Clare tried to calm the boy down. "Oh thanks for that, Clare. Yeah that's helped." James said, annoyed. "It really makes you think, doesn't it? Death. It just... it makes you want to do everything and just, like, try everything." Michelle said, suspiciously. "What's going on, Michelle?" Clare called her out. "Do yous wanna see something class?" Michelle said. I grabbed James hand in anticipation. She put her bag on the body and started pulling something out of it. "Prepare yourself, Girls." She told us before pulling a tub of scones out. "Scones." Me and Erin said at the same time. "Thats Right." Michelle answered. "Whats so class about scones?" Erin asked her, making us all respond with our own appreciation for scones. "These aren't any old scones, girls. These are funny scones." Michelle whispered the last part. "Aye they do look like good craic in fairness." Orla said, I nodded in agreement. "Funny scones?" Erin asked, confused. "They're drug scones! She's put the drugs in the scones!" Clare shouted. "Too fucking Right I have. I wanted to do brownies but this was the only recipe my Ma had, so..." Michelle responded. "Fucking get in!" I shouted in joy before picking one up. "No! Caoimhe, put it back! I'm not having you high at your Aunts wake. Mary will kill me!" James said, wrestling the scone off of me. I pouted. "Just a Bit?" I tried to bargain. He shook his head at me, making my pout deepen. "Drugs aren't illegal when you put them in food. Everybody knows that." Michelle tried to tell us. "Is that right? I'm not sure that's right." James started, before being interrupted by someone asking for cups. "I'll take that." The old women told James, taking the tub of brownies out of his hands. We all looked at each other, shocked. "What the fuck just happened?!" Michelle shouted. We all walked out the room, going our separate ways to try and locate the scones.
Me and James gave up after about 5 minutes, resulting in us sitting on the stairs and making out for a bit. After a little while, we were Interrupted by all the girls sitting around us, making us separate. I smiled up at him, wiping my lip, before wiping his. "What are we gonna do? What in under god are we gonna do?" Clare panicked, everyone ignoring the situation me and James were found in, except for Erin who shot me a glare. I glared back and snuggled closer to James. Showing her that he was my boyfriend. "It's fine." Michelle tried to play it off. "It's definitely not fine! There's drug scones down there! If people eat the drug scones then we'll have drugged those people, Michelle!" Clare emphasised the seriousness of the situation. "So? Drugging people isn't a crime." Michelle tried to play off. "You have a very loose grasp on the law, Michelle." James told his cousin. "Aye, even I know that Drugging people is a crime." I told her, agreeing with James. "What kind of person brings hash scones to a wake?" Erin questioned Michelle's choice of occasion. "Typical. I try and do a nice thing and this is the thanks I get." Michelle scoffed. "It's terrible. There's old people down there. What if and old person takes one?" Clare acted as if that was worse. "Why does everybody get so sentimental about old people?! Old people are arseholes!" Michelle said honestly, making me nod in agreement. "We have to get them back." Erin said, worried. "Look, im not disagreeing with you. I brought that stuff so I could get high, not your great uncle Colm." Michelle said, annoyed. "Christ, can you imagine?" Erin questioned. I laughed at the idea of Colm high. "Maybe it would make him more fun?" I suggested, not completely against the idea of a high Colm. "Hold on a Minute, where did the scones go?" Orla asked, clearly not paying attention to the previous conversation. "Okay. I'll head for the kitchen and grab whatever's still there. The rest of you look out for the ones that have gone rogue. And remember, be subtle. And you two! Actually look for them this time, don't just suck each others faces off." Erin told us before heading off. I stuck my middle finger up at her back, annoyed at her for some reason.
We had spent 10 minutes actually looking for the scones and taking them away from people. When we were done, we all gathered into the toilet, where it seemed as though flushing the scones was the only option. "I can't believe we're doing this. It's fucking heart breaking." Michelle cried into one of the scones. "Look, Grandas had one and now he's acting really, really weird." Erin told us. "You're being paranoid, Erin" Michelle brushed off. "He was nice to daddy." She said. We all stopped putting the scones in the toilet and looked at her in shock. "Jesus!" Michelle said. "Exactly. And if my ma starts asking questions..." Erin started to panic. "Your ma won't trace it back to us." Michelle tried to play off. "Are you for real? She traces everything back to us! She traces things we haven't even done, back to us!" Erin shouted, truly getting worried. "Are you sure this'll work?" Clare questioned my boyfriend. "This is How you get rid of drugs, Clare. I've seen Goodfellas, like, 20 times." James told us, making me laugh. "Okay, Pablo Escobar" I said jokingly, making James grin and lightly pull me into a head looks, causing me to squeal while pushing him away, the both of us laughing. "It's not the only way. I watched this film once about this girl who was trying to hide drugs and what she did was she shoved them right up her..." Orla started before being interrupted by Michelle. "I'm not sticking a scone up my hole, Orla. I'll tell you that for nothing." Michelle told my off the wall cousin. "Okay, I'm gonna flush." Clare told us all. "Go for it." Erin edged the girl.
Clare flushed the toilet, only for nothing to happen. "Is it working?" Erin asked us all. "Of course it's working, James smiled happily. "Is the water rising?" Clare questioned. "Jesus Christ! Why's the water rising, James?" Erin asked him. "Oi! It's not his fault!" I defended my boyfriend. "I don't know. The water didn't rise in goodfellas!" James said honestly. "Fuck! We've clogged it." Michelle shouted angrily. "Ew, Ew, Ew. Fuck That!" I shouted while standing on the side of the bath, holding onto James shoulders to make sure I didn't fall off. I wasn't about to get dirty in clogged toilet water, oh no. "Who has a plunger?" Orla asked for a tool that would help us. "I'm afraid I left the house without my plunger tonight, Orla" Erin sarcastically told our cousin. "Aye, me too. Nightmare, so it is." Orla said, being interrupted by my gagging as I watched the sconey toilet water over fill the bowl, and leak out onto the floor. "Oh my fuck, that's disgusting, I'm gonna throw up." I shouted at the sight of the gross floor. Everyone grabbed a towel and started mopping the floor, me looking on from above telling them about the spots they've missed, due to my refusal to go anywhere near the water.
Just then, Uncle Eamonn opened the door, with Mary and Sarah behind him. He screamed at the sight of us, making me jump in shock and loose my balance, falling into the bath. "Dear God..." Mary whispered, making Erin awkwardly chuckle. "It looks worse then it is." She tried to play off. "My mother was right about you people! Wild Animals would have more manners!" Uncle Eamonn said. "We didn't have a plunger, Eamonn" Orla tried to help. "Get out! Get out, now!" He shouted at us, making me jump onto James back so he could carry me out of the room.
Instead of going Straight back to Aunt Mary's, me and James decided to wander round for a bit. "Do you think we'll spend our lives together?" I randomly asked him, my heart racing a million miles a minute. "Yeah, I do." He said confidently, making me grin wide. I looked up at him, "really? You really think so? You'd never leave me?" I asked him again. "Of course i'd never leave you... I... I love you" he told me, making me grin like a Cheshire Cat. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. "Oh James, I love you too! I love you, I love you, I love you!" I told him, over the moon. It was the best was to end a tragic day. What could feel better then being loved.
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2007 words!
THEY SAID I LOVE YOU!!! How cute, my heart can't take it.
But what did you think of that chapter? Let me know. I hope you're all excited for the next two chapters! All I can say is... DRAMA!! I know I know, they can never catch a break.
But let me know what you thought. Vote and comment if your enjoyed <3
But yeah, cya tomorrow