The end of summer vacation and Ella's first day of first grade came all too soon, and Jennie found herself sitting on the edge of her sleeping daughter's bed early in the morning of the first day back at school. She blamed her hormones for the silent tears currently running down her face as she took in the sight of Ella sprawled out on the bed laying on her stomach, head turned to the side as she snored lightly, but she knew in the back of her mind that she would be just as emotional if she weren't pregnant.
It was a weird moment, she felt overwhelmingly proud of her little girl. She had come so far already and she was turning into a beautiful, intelligent, kindhearted little human being, but she also felt an aching sadness in her gut that made her feel extremely guilty. Ella was growing up too fast, it felt like only yesterday Jennie would be up at all hours of the night nursing a screaming baby and wishing for the days where she would be able to sleep through the night once again, but now she found herself longing for those moments. Sometimes the days were extremely long and Ella tested the last tiny little ounce of patience that she had left in her entire being, but in the grand scheme of things, the time was moving all too quickly and Jennie couldn't believe how much everything had changed. She recalled something that Jisoo had said to her while she was pregnant, she hadn't really heard it until this moment. The days feel like years, and the years feel like days.
After taking a few moments to gather her thoughts and wipe her face dry with the sleeves of her shirt, Ella stood up from the bottom of the bed and made her way up to where Ella was laying, gently running a hand along her back as she softly spoke her name.
"Hey baby, it's time to get up, you're gonna be late for school." she whispered quietly, smiling as Ella's face popped up from the pillow and scrunched her eyes up to look at her. "There you are, morning babe."
Jennie set out Ella's clothes before leaving her alone to get herself dressed for the day, she had taken the morning off from work so that she could be there with Lisa to drop her off and she was extremely thankful for extra hour that she got in bed that morning.
"You holding up okay?" Lisa asked with a knowing smile as Jennie stepped into the kitchen.
"It's just so overwhelming." Jennie admitted as she climbed up into one of the stools at the island. "She's growing up so fast, and now we have another one on the way and I feel like I'm losing my baby in a way, I know it sounds silly but-"
"It doesn't sound silly at all." Lisa assured her immediately. "Things like this make you reminisce, it's part of being human. Part of me still feels like I only just noticed the cute little kid with the angry, stressed out mom showing up at the door of my classroom a few years ago, and the other part can't really remember a life without you guys in it, nor to I ever want to."
"Mommy is the baby making you cry again?" Ella asked as she appeared in the kitchen, sounding completely exasperated as she made her way over to Jennie and eyed her curiously as she waited for an answer.
"One of my babies is." Jennie laughed as she quickly wiped away the tears on her face before helping Ella climb up into the stool next to her. "I just can't believe how quickly that you're growing up, I'm happy crying though, I promise." Jennie caressed her face gently before standing up and clapping her hands together. "Okay, enough of the tears, let's get your hair done so that we can be out of here soon. We can't be late for your first day of first grade."
They moved around the kitchen in a well perfected dance, the three of them were used to the hectic school mornings and it didn't take long for them to fall back into the routine after having a few months off over summer break. Lisa got the three of their lunches ready and packed away whilst Jennie braided Ella's hair and made sure that she had eaten enough breakfast. They weren't in too much of a rush but Jennie really didn't want to be late for Ella's first day so they did everything as quickly as they could, and before long the three of them were buckled up in the car and on their way to the school.
Jennie spent the car journey scrolling through all of the photos that she had taken of them that morning whilst Lisa and Ella sang along to their favourite Disney soundtrack CD. Thankfully the traffic wasn't too bad and they arrived at the school right on time. Surprisingly, Jennie found herself completely unaffected by the looks being sent in her direction, or rather completely negatively unaffected. Everyone who she made eye contact with seemed to be smiling at her, or at least not sending looks of anger and disgust in her direction. There was even another mom who congratulated her on her pregnancy as Lisa beamed proudly at her side.
By the time she had kissed and hugged Ella goodbye and made her way back to the car, Jennie was feeling a weird cocktail of emotions and honestly she just wanted to go back to sleep. The joy and pride was all but bursting out of her chest, but the slight sadness and longing for her little tiny baby was still there in the back of her mind too. She guessed it was just part of being a parent, the good and the bad, but it didn't make it suck any less.
"Hey, you okay?" Lisa asked, resting a hand gently on Jennie's thigh to get her attention once they were back in the car and getting ready to pull away.
"Yeah I'm good, just a little tired. I can't wait until I drown myself in coffee again." she admitted with a laugh. "I don't have to be at work for another hour, I might go home and take a quick power nap before I have to get ready."
"Yeah that sounds like a good idea." Lisa agreed, and Jennie could tell from the look on her face that she desperately wanted to join her. "Make sure you drink plenty of water too, it'll help a little."
"I will." She promised her with a smile.
Jennie was feeling marginally better when she finally headed into work later that afternoon. She had slept for a quick half hour before getting herself dressed and ready to leave, and it really had made all the difference. The day went by quickly, and it was a good day in her eyes. She was repeatedly congratulated by employees that had seen her post on social media and her last meeting of the day had been rescheduled, meaning that she could leave early and be able to be home in time for dinner with Ella and Lisa without them having to wait an extra hour or so.
She spent the remainder of the evening happily listening to Ella ramble on and on all about her first day of first grade. She seemed more than happy with the whole classroom situation and she really seemed to like her teacher which relieved both Jennie and Lisa. By the time they tucked her in she was already babbling about all the activities that she was going to do the following day with all of her new friends, and Jennie spent a little extra time lying in bed with her after she had read her story, just listening to everything that she was saying and trying to take in the moment.
When Lisa came looking for her a little over a half an hour later, she found Jennie passed out in Ella's bed. She was laying on her side with Ella's head cuddled up beneath her chin, a tiny hand resting on Jennie's bump laying between them. Lisa didn't want to wake her, they both looked so peaceful and the sight was one that made her heart ache with love for her girls, but Jennie was still in her work clothes and she knew that she would sleep better in her pyjamas.
"Babe, hey, babe, you need to wake up." she whispered as she gently ran a hand over Jennie's arm.
The grouchy face that eventually looked up at Lisa was one that had her trying not to wake Ella with her laughter. She extended a hand out to help Jennie up from the bed and guided her down the hall into their bedroom. Lisa didn't bother switching the lights on, not wanting to hurt Jennie's eyes as the two of them headed over to the bed.
"You sit down, I'll get your pyjamas." she whispered to her still half asleep wife as she made her way over to the dresser and blindly located one of the oversized shirts that Jennie always slept in.
Lisa figured undressing and tucking in her exhausted wife was good practice for what was to come, although she had a feeling that a baby would be a little easier to manoeuvre.
"Good night babe." she pressed a gentle kiss to Jennie's forehead before making her way out of the room and downstairs to switch off all the lights and lock up the house for the night.
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Jennie was sitting behind her desk in her office the first time that she felt the baby kick. It was barely a flutter at first, and she's sure that if she hadn't already known what it felt like with Ella then she would just have assumed that it was her stomach rumbling or that she was having anxiety about something. The past week had been a little on the rough side for her, while her morning sickness had all but completely disappeared, she was beginning to struggle with the pain in her back. The doctor assured her that it was perfectly normal, her body was just getting used to the extra weight that it was carrying around, but it didn't make it any easier on her. She also found that she was getting out of a breath a lot easier now, unsurprising seeing as how her lungs were now squished against the rest of her insides to make room for her growing baby, but a frustrating new development nonetheless.
Lisa was great during it all and Jennie found herself wondering how on earth she managed on her own the last time. She would spend the evening sitting on the couch between Lisa's legs as she gently massaged the ache from her back, and when that didn't work she would run her a bath and take Ella out for a walk with Oreo to give Jennie some peace and quiet. Her wife was an absolute blessing, which is why Jennie felt guilty about being on her own when the she first felt the baby. It wasn't outwardly noticeable, and she knew that Lisa wouldn't be able to feel it just quite yet, but she still felt a little bad that she couldn't share the experience with her as it was happening. Not wanting to wait the whole day before letting Lisa know, Jennie pulled her phone out and typed a quick text to her wife, knowing that she wouldn't see it until her lunch break but feeling beyond excited about letting her know anyway.
Jennie: Who's the size of a grapefruit, weighs one whole pound and just kicked mommy for the first time? This little babe!
Jennie send the text off with an attached photo of her bump sitting behind her desk before putting her phone away and resuming the work that she was doing before.
When she arrived home that night Lisa was all but right on top of her the moment she stepped in the front door. She barely had a second to close it behind her before her wife was on the floor in front of her, face nuzzled into Jennie's bump as her hand gently caressed it.
"Hey there baby, I heard you've been kicking up a storm today." she smiled, happily pressing a kiss over the material of Jennie's blouse before standing up to greet Jennie properly. "How was your day babe? Is your back bothering you?"
"It was good, this little one kept me entertained." Jennie told her before reaching up for a kiss that Lisa happily provided.
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Jennie began to panic after their 24 week checkup at the OB GYN, she had been counting her pregnancy in weeks and it seemed as though she still had all the time in the world, but when their doctor mentioned that she was already 6 months along she began to panic. That meant that they only had three more months to get everything ready for their daughter's arrival, and they hadn't even picked out a room to be used as her nursery yet.
"Lisa, we only have three more months left until she's here, three, that's not long at all! There's so much that needs done, we need to paint the nursery and there's so much stuff that we need to get, I still have Ella's old crib in storage but it'll need to be assembled, and oh god we haven't even picked out a name! Our baby is going to be coming home to an empty room and no name!" Jennie rambled on in the car on the way back home from their checkup, she was getting out of breath just from talking so fast and the only thing that eventually stopped her from going on and on was her need for oxygen.
"Babe it'll be fine, I promise." Lisa assured her, although she was panicking a little herself at just how quickly the whole thing was going by. "We'll pick out a room and buy some paint and everything this weekend and I'll have it all done by Sunday night, then next week we can go shopping for the essentials that we still need and we'll get it all set up then. Okay? Don't worry too much, I'll take care of it all."
"Okay, and what about her name? We can't just call her 'the baby' or 'munchkin' for the rest of her life?!" Jennie exclaimed. She could hear the frustration in her own voice and it shocked her into taking it down a notch. "I'm sorry.. I'm just stressed and things at work are a little overwhelming right now and I don't like feeling so out of control, and my whole body is just.. so achy. I don't mean to take it out on you."
"I know what I signed up for when we decided to have a baby, you don't have to apologize." Lisa assured her, taking one hand off the wheel to hold one of Jennie's. "Some parents don't decide on the name until they see their kid, or they have one picked out and it just doesn't feel right when the baby is born. We'll work everything out, I promise."
Jennie knew that Lisa was right, they still had enough time to get everything together and she's sure that they would decide on name when the time came. The whole thing just forced her to realize how little time was really left, and it panicked her because she knew that she would have to start thinking about her maternity leave soon, not that she wasn't thankful to be in a position where she could take as much time off as she needed, but she was still worried about relinquishing her control to someone else.
"I really don't know what I would do without you, I hope you know that." Jennie told Lisa as she brought their intertwined hands up to her mouth and pressed a kiss to the top of Lisa's.
"You would be just fine without me, I know that you would, but you'll never have to do anything alone. I'm not going anywhere." Lisa promised with a gentle squeeze of her hand.