• drug mention
• mature language
Georges pov=
Tommy and Tubbo come back a day early to be with me for Christmas, yet are left with quite the shock when they arrive and see Wilbur.
Christmas blows by, and then suddenly its the New Year.
And after the New Year, well the days turn to weeks, and then somehow we're entering February.
We've gotten to the time of year where you can practically smell spring around the corner, you can feel the switch in the breeze, you can see the trees starting to green.
You can feel the change coming.
Right now, im unsure if change is a good thing.
Ive been avoiding that conversation with Wilbur for as long as possible, hes been trying to slide it into conversation alot more often lately.
I know he wants to go ahead with his entire 'phone call' plan, but im afraid, im afraid im going to hear something I dont want to hear, something that could push me over the edge.
Ive proven to myself that I can live without him, sure.
But can I be happy without him?
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The pillow flying across the room manages to find its way into Tommys arms instead of his face, but it doesnt stop him from throwing it forcefully back at Tubbo.
"One day youll break something doing that" Wilbur complains, and im sure I can feel a lecture starting to surface.
Its around the evening, and the constant rain has had us trapped inside for nearly three days now.
Im not whining though, ive found alot more comfort inside nowadays.
Tubbo pulls a face at Wilburs comment whilst hes faced the other way, and Tommy cant help himself from laughing.
"I saw that" I comment, grinning at Tubbo.
"Saw what?" Wilbur asks, his gaze turning from Tommy to me.
Tommy starts to chuckle even louder, running and jumping to his spot on the couch next to Tubbo.
I roll my eyes at the two of them, my stare returning back to the book gripped tightly in my left hand.
Wilbur looks back and forth at us confusedly before giving up and turning back to the television.
Tubbos still laid out over the other couch, staring aimlessly up at the ceiling. Tommy soon gets bored with pestering him, eventually standing back up to wander behind me.
"George" he says formally, leaning his elbows on the back of the sofa.
"Tommy" I respond, playing along, hoping he'll leave me alone.
I get my wish, as he moves from the couch to the bookshelf behind me.
Im trying to regain focus on my page, but I know Tommy wouldnt willingly read any of those books.
"Whatre you doing?" I ask, turning the upper half of my body around to look at him.
This seems to catch Wilburs attention too, his head turning at the note of suspicion in my voice.
"What?" Tommy asks innocently, his fingers running over the spines of the books.
Tubbos sat up now, watching Tommy with a small grin.
"Why the sudden interest in the books?" I point out, beckoning to his hands.
"Are you saying im not a book person?" he gasps, trying to sound offended.
Tubbo lets out a laugh at his words, making Tommy smile. He knows he has an audience.
"Thats exactly what im saying" I confirm, still staring at him with an eyebrow raised.
Wilbur starts to chortle, quickly trying to mask his laughter as a cough.
"I could read any of these" Tommy argues, actually peering properly at the books now.
Wilbur breaks out into a wide smile, watching Tommy with amusement.
"Go on, pick one then" I challenge him playfully.
Tubbos stare is switching between me and Tommy as we talk back and forth.
Im giving myself something to do by messing with Tommy, its become a regular thing over the past 48 hours.
Tommy goes froms shelf to shelf, hands landing on different books.
Every time he gets close to sliding one out from the neat line theyre sat in, he stops himself, going back to browsing between the books.
His hand eventually lingers on one for too long, and I can tell hes chosen.
"Hmm, this one" he says with a cocky grin.
He pulls it out of its place, running his hand down the cover.
Only after he twists the book around so that its layed against his chest for all of us to see as he pulls a dumb pose like the woman on the cover is when I realize what book it actually is
Pride and Prejudice
Tubbos laughing at Tommys pose, and I can hear Wilbur chuckling away beside me.
But im getting lost in my head again, recalling when id last seen that book.
"Whatre you reading?" id asked him in a tired voice.
"Pride and Prejudice, I picked a random book from the shelf and this is what I got" he had told me, wrapping his arm around my waist as he held the book in his other hand.
"What chapter are you on?" id mumbled, toying with a loose thread on his jumper.
"Just started chapter 7, we're being introduced to.." he skimmed the page, looking for somebodys named. "Mrs. Philips" he'd announced proudly.
"Have you read it?" he'd asked me, his hand gently rubbing my back to be sure that im comfy.
"Yeah, a while back, it can be a hard read though" id told him, dropping the thread to snuggle closer into him.
Im snapped back out of my head by Wilburs voice.
"George?"
I look at him, his face puzzled with confusion.
"Shit" Tommy realizes, looking down at the book quickly and then back at me.
"Its okay" I start quickly, but he looks concerned.
"Im sorry, I didnt-" he blunders, shoving the book back on the shelf.
"Tommy its alright" I repeat.
"What?" Tubbo asks, looking just as confused as Wilbur.
Tommy shakes his head, jumping over the back of the couch to sit beside me.
"Its nothing, Dream read it when he was here" I tell them, "its no big deal, im alright"
Wilbur glances at Tommy, a disapproving look on his face.
"Dont do that, im not mad" I insist, "hes out of my head"
'Lie' my head snaps back at those last few words.
Theyve all gone oddly quiet, and I can see them glancing up at eachother.
"What?" I question.
Tommy keeps his steady stare at his legs, Wilbur turns back to the television and Tubbo flings himself back down on the couch, regaining his stare towards the ceiling.
"No, no tell me whatever you arent telling me" I demand, looking around at all 3 of them.
Wilbur peers at Tommy and Tubbo before his eyes land on me as he starts to talk.
"You talk-"
Tommys head snaps up from whatever had been so interesting about his legs to glare at Wilbur.
"I thought you said we couldnt tell him?" he accuses.
"Tell me what?" I ask, head turning to Tommy.
"Yeah, I remember that too" Tubbo interrupts, agreeing with Tommy.
"Remember what?" I repeat, head now turning to Tubbo.
"Ive changed my mind" Wilbur snaps at Tommy.
"So why do you get to tell him?" Tubbo asks Wilbur, "why cant I?"
"No, I want to tell hi-" Tommy starts, but im sick of the bickering.
"One of you just tell me!" I hiss, looking at all 3 of them.
"You talk about him in your sleep" Wilbur bursts out before Tommy or Tubbo can beat him to it.
I stare at him incredulously, feeling a sarcastic look starting to form.
"No I dont" I snap.
"Yeah, you do" Tommy responds, unable to stop himself from grinning.
I want to punch him, im not going to lie, I feel that alot when im around Tommy for too long.
"So you all just gather around me when I sleep to see if im sleeptalking?" I ask them, sounding disgusted.
"Ew, no, dont make us sound like creeps" Tubbo laughs from the other side of the room.
"You fall asleep down here sometimes" Wilbur explains in a calm voice. Hes the only one not smiling or laughing.
"And you never thought to move me upstairs?" I ask him in a pissy voice.
"No offence, but you're a pain to deal with when you're tired" Tommy comments, playing with the lace on a pillow.
"Nobodys talking to you" I clap back, hitting him on the side of his head.
Tommy and Tubbo are both flashing grins at eachother, I can tell theyre holding back laughter.
"So what do I say?" I question them.
Wilbur and Tommy turn to stare at me, bewildered.
"What?" Tubbo asks, still leaned back against his couch.
I dont think they had thought id actually want to talk about it, but now im curious.
"What do I say when I talk about him?" I press.
I can see Wilburs eyebrows start to crease before he talks.
"I dont think we sho-" he begins, but gets cut off by Tommy.
"Dream! Oh Dream, you have no idea how much I adore you!" Tommy shouts, jumping up off the couch before running and jumping on Tubbo.
Tubbo lets out his long held in laughter, and I can hear Wilburs disappointed sigh come from beside me.
Tommy stands up on the couch placed across the room, one hand on his heart, the other placed dramatically on his forehead.
"You mean the utmost world to me, id quite literally die for you!" Tommy preaches, trying to be fancy with his words.
I pick up the pillow Tommy had been playing with and punt it across the room and him, watching it smack against his side.
His stupid act is showing zero signs of being let down, so I let him continue on with his poetic words as I turn to Wilbur.
But he already knows what im going to ask, speaking before I can even question him.
"Its mostly just his name, sometimes youll mumble stuff after but we can never make it out" he tells me with a small, sympathetic smile.
I nod at him, trying to tune Tommy out.
I know ive been dreaming about him
Its the same dream on repeat, every single night.
It starts in a black void, with nothing surrounding me, not a sound to be heard.
And then he shows up, and the void is filled with colour, the void is filled with his presence.
Im no longer left alone because I know hes here with me.
His hands would slowly caress my face, his arms tightening around me at every single chance he got.
He would whisper things to me, simple compliments and comments that would make me feel like i'm floating.
The Dream makes me feel like i'm on some sort of high, like i'm taking a drug thats blocking out the rest of the world.
I want to see him, every night I pray he'll make an actual appearance in my head, but so far all i'm left with is this distant memory of his touch.
I continue to yearn for the dream each night I go to sleep, its become something I look forward to now.
Sure I can never see him, but I can feel him.
Im not complaining about the repeated dream, no, thats not the case.
How could I complain about something thats been my only source of feeling safe in months? My only source of warmth?
I find comfort in the void.
The void where its just me and him.
"So" Wilbur starts, still staring at me, "if hes still in your head so much that you can dream about him, why dont we call an-"
"Ive told you before that im still not sure about that" I interrupt, turning away from him.
"When are you going to be sure then?" he whispers, trying to keep our conversation away from the ears of Tommy and Tubbo.
I dont know how to answer his question, and now its starting to get to me.
When am I going to be sure?
"You have a problem, I have a resolution, I dont see the issue" Wilbur states. I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my head.
I let his words settle in my mind, trying to see his point of view.
Maybe hes right, maybe he does have the answer to my problems.
Its just one phone call, one small phone call to see if I still mean as much to him as he does to me.
And if its the phone call that can save us, is it really that terrible that its slightly invading his privacy?
I dont think so.
Would he want me to do this?
I think so.
He was always trying to push me out of my comfort zone, urging me to do daring things.
This was definitely way out of whatever comfort I have left.
"Okay, okay fine, but im setting rules beforehand" I whisper back.
A huge smile breaks out across his face at my words, a victorious grin starting to form at the corners of his mouth.
"Whatever you want" he responds, leaning out to grab his phone.
I watch him confusedly first, only realizing what hes actually doing a few seconds after he does it.
"Wait, what? Now?!" I hiss, grabbing his phone.
Hes looking at me with an expression that screams 'obviously?'.
"Yes, now! Why should we wait?" he queries.
Yet, I dont know how to answer that question either.
Why should we wait? What do I gain from waiting?
Ive been waiting for nearly two months now, and where has that gotten me?
Nowhere, its gotten me nowhere.
"Fine, fine!" I cave, letting go of his phone, "but im not doing it around them" I decide, implying to Tommy and Tubbo.
"We can go upstairs, ill tell them to stay put" he says, and I can practically hear the joyfulness in his voice.
I nod again as I stand up and head out of the room, ignoring Tommys protests coming from my behind me.
I know Wilbur will come up with a worthy explanation as to where we're going and what we're doing.
After climbing the stairs and getting into my room, I drop down to my bed, trying to prepare myself for whatevers about to happen.
Am I ready for this?
Am I ready to hear his voice? His voice that I havent heard properly in so long, his voice that ive been craving to hear ever since I got back?
No, im not, im nowhere near ready.
But I already know that im going ahead with this, I need to know if he still cares.
Wilbur appears in the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. His eyes are stuck on me as he sits himself down at the desk in the room.
"Alright, they wont be coming up" he breathes, pulling out his phone. "Are you ready?"
My eyes land on his phone, my stomach starting to drop.
"I have one rule, one simple rule that you have to follow" I tell him, not taking my eyes off the phone.
"Of course you do" he grins.
I roll my eyes at him, looking up at his face. He still looks excited, like a kid on Christmas.
"If I say you have to hang up at any time during the call, then you have to hang up, no questions asked" I start, my eyes dropping back to the phone.
"Mhm, thats fair, sure" he agrees, nodding his head.
"Promise?"
"Promise" he agrees.
I watch his fingers unlock the phone, sliding between pages as he looks for contacts.
My heart is hammering in my throat, and I think I might be sick.
I think I know what he would say if he were here.
Would he sit behind me and pull me closer to him, tightening his hold on my waist as he laughs softly into my ear before calling me a baby, or some sort if playful insult?
Probably, yeah.
And thats why im doing this.
Im doing it so I can have moments like that again.
Wilburs fingers are now hovering over what im guessing is Dreams contact. He pauses, looking up at me for confirmation.
"Are you sure?"
I nod my head at him, afraid to talk.
"Really? Because if you d-" he starts, but im already cutting him off.
"Just call him" I retort, wanting to get this over and done with.
And he does, he does as I say, clicking on Dreams number and switching to speaker phone.
We sit in silence, the tension in the room heightening.
The phone buzzes once.
Im praying he wont answer, or maybe his phone is dead.
The phone buzzes twice.
Whats Wilbur even going to say? He hadnt run any of it past me, im starting to feel like we may of rushed into this.
The phone buzzes three times.
Hes probably asleep, he might not even want to talk to Wilbur.
The phone buzzes four times.
My heart rate starts to slow down, and im starting to calm at the fact he might not answer.
But oh was I wrong.
The abrupt buzzing is cut off by the noise of the phone connecting to somewhere.
Not just somewhere.
Its connecting to him.
Wilburs eyes are glued to the phone, and I think I might have to shove my fist into my mouth to stop myself from talking.
"Hello?" Wilbur says, speaking up first.
I sit on the edge of the bed, my stare burning into the phone.
About a thousand thoughts are running through my head as I wait for him to respond.
Some are filled with dread, some with anxiety, some with anticipation.
Maybe Wilbur had tapped on the wrong number, or maybe Dream will change his mind and hang up.
But no, im wrong again.
And every single thought id had seems to come to a halt in my mind when I hear his voice.
"Hey"
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authors note
• 58k, I cant thank you all enough!