Sometimes it felt like Bren and I were star-crossed lovers, like the universe was determined to keep us apart.
But I knew that wasn't true. We were meant to be together, right next to each other in the sky. We were part of the same constellation. But right now, our vantage point made it hard to see the whole picture.
We were some of the lucky ones. In my heart, I knew we were.
I just couldn't see it yet.
Bren talked about getting our own place and living together, and I wanted that so badly. But happily-ever-after seemed so far away. And I felt helpless; I had to sit here, waiting.
After Bren left, I sighed, sinking further into my bed and wiping the wetness from my face. Even though my heart ached, I managed to pull myself together before Nessa came into the room. I'd learned that tears solved nothing, and my roommate had probably seen enough of mine.
"Hey girl," she said as she slipped into the room, giving me a cautious glance.
I gave her a weak smile. "Hey, Nessa."
She threw her purse down on her bed. "How was your weekend with Bren?" The question was accompanied by a little peek over her shoulder. And a sly smile.
I couldn't help but grin at that. "It was..."
Impossible to describe, that was what it was.
Nessa laughed and collapsed onto her bed. She curled up on a pillow and raised a brow. "That good, huh?"
I bit my lip and ignored how my entire body reacted to the memories of how good it was. But I didn't get a chance to reply because then Beau burst through the door with a full drink carrier.
"Am I too late?" he asked, gasping a bit like he was out of breath.
Nessa scrunched up her face. "Too late?"
Bea rolled his eyes. "For the tea. I even brought drinks for the occasion." He brought me a mango bubble tea before handing one to Nessa, too. And then Beau sank into the chair at my desk, getting comfy as he said, "Tea on tea on tea on tea. I'm ready, let's do this."
His eyes shifted back and forth as he took a sip from his drink.
Nessa sat up so she could drink her bubble tea before smirking. "Madie was just about to spill about what happened with—"
"Oh, we all know what happened with Bren." Beau laughed, giving a dirty twist of his lips as he glanced at me. "I don't really need the details. I'll leave that to you two."
"Then—"
"I want the tea about you." Beau waved his finger at Nessa.
Her eyes shifted away, and I narrowed mine. "I thought you told me nothing happened?"
"Oh, something definitely happened," Beau said, swirling his straw around in his bubble tea and sending Nessa an aggressive probing stare. "Nessa disappeared with her spicy piano man, and then when I called to tell her I was heading back to campus, she said to leave without her."
My eyes flew open. "Wednesday!"
"Okay, but what about you?" Nessa shot back at Beau, ignoring me. "I know you were with Collins all weekend."
"Don't go changing the subject," I said. No way was she going to deflect like that.
Beau shrugged, the picture of nonchalance. "I'll give you the details, but they aren't exactly juicy. On Friday, I kissed Collins goodnight, and we went our separate ways. But we exchanged numbers, and I texted her yesterday morning to see if I could get her to ditch her solo plans to hang out with me."
He paused, taking a sip of his tea. "She said yes, so I brought breakfast to the hotel—"
"Thanks for our brunch, by the way," I cut in before I forgot to say something.
With a smile, Beau said, "My pleasure. I hope it was good."
I nodded and instantly flushed. Breakfast—and what had come afterward—was a highlight of the weekend.
Nessa snickered. "This is the second time in five minutes that Madie has turned that red."
Beau gave me a side-eyed glance. "Did you do dirty things with my brunch, Madie? God, that sounds...sticky."
When I opened my mouth to object, Beau cut in with a laugh. "Never mind. I don't wanna know." He turned his gaze to Nessa again. "Back to you."
Nessa raised her hands in defeat. "Madie told me to give Grayson a chance, so when he asked if I wanted to step out onto the back terrace, I said sure. We just..."
"Hit it off?" I asked hopefully.
"Had terrace sex?" Beau threw out, leaning forward onto his knees.
"Talked," Nessa finished definitively, giving me a hard look. "We just talked."
"And he brought you back to campus afterward?" Beau asked.
"Yes."
There was something about it that I wasn't buying; Nessa's eyes were avoiding us as she took an overly long sip of her tea.
Apparently, Beau thought the same. He slammed his drink down on my desk before spewing, "Girl, why you lyin'."
"I'm not lying!" she protested just as a blush worked her way up her cheeks.
She was lying. Or withholding something. But that was okay; sometimes, we needed time to figure shit out ourselves before we revealed it to other people. So I decided to change the subject.
The problem was that I didn't know what to say, so I just spit out the one topic that kept floating to the forefront of my brain. "Bren decided he's gonna work with the police to go after his dad."
Heavy silence greeted my words. Finally, Beau asked, "And how do you feel about that?"
I shrugged. "Scared. Maybe a bit hopeful. But mostly scared."
Beau gave me an understanding nod, leaving space for me to say more. So I did.
"I don't know what to think. I want him to be safe. But I also want him back. Although—" I shook my head. "In a weird way, Bren seems really good."
"Good?" Nessa repeated.
"Yeah, good." I looked at my hands in my lap as they fiddled with my blanket. "Like he has a new job. And he's been working out a ton. And he's...I don't know how to describe it."
I couldn't decide how I felt about it, either. It was great to see Bren having confidence and purpose, but it hurt a bit to see him finding it without me.
"Oh, Madie." Nessa's voice told me that she'd taken in everything I was feeling, probably from my downcast face that I didn't care enough to throw a mask over today. "I would bet all the money in the world that Bren's just doing what he can to keep his mind off of being away from you. It's you. It's all you with him."
When I glanced up at her, she looked like it pained her to say that. And this wasn't the first time that I'd seen that expression.
Beau seemed to notice it, too. "Nessa?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.
She gave her head a little shake before wiping her hand down her face with a groan. "I'm sorry. I just—" She broke off with a heavy sigh. "No, this isn't about me. We're talking about you right now. And Bren."
"It's okay, Nessa," I said softly. Honestly, I could use a distraction from thinking about Bren.
She set her tea aside and flung herself back onto the tiny dorm bed.
"Do you know why Jonathon left at the gala?" she asked, directing the question to the ceiling.
Beau and I both shook our heads before realizing that she couldn't see us. "No," Beau muttered eventually.
"He was so sweet and cheesy. I thought for sure he was different. We always had flirty conversations in Bio, but it was all...I don't know, innocent stuff." She sighed again. "At the gala, he leaned over to ask if I wanted to get out of there, maybe go back to his place. I didn't really want to leave because it felt like we had just gotten there. And I wanted to be with you all."
I had an idea where this was going, and I didn't like it.
"Anyway," Nessa went on. "I told him that I'd rather stay at the gala, and his response was to leave. Just like that, all his charm turned off. And like an hour later, he texted me to say that I was a bitch for leading him on."
"Nessa—" I started.
"I know not to listen to him. But I—I thought that maybe he liked me for me." Her eyes fluttered shut. "I just want someone to care about me like Bren cares about you. You know, without putting out first. Because that's not going to happen. I've had sex like twice, and both times it was awful. So I'm not exactly looking to—"
"Really?" I asked before slapping my hand over my mouth.
I did not mean to interrupt her while she bared her soul, and I definitely did not mean to sound so surprised and judgemental. But honestly, I assumed...well, not that.
"Never mind," I said, correcting myself and quickly moving back to the more important conversation. "Nessa, Jonathon is an ass. I'm so sorry he did that. But I—"
"Don't tell me that I should go out with Grayson," she said, still talking to the ceiling.
I tried not to laugh. "I honestly wasn't going to say that." Nessa froze, her expression turning sheepish. Someone was clearly still thinking about a certain piano man.
Beau snorted. "I'll say it then. Go out with—"Nessa threw her pillow at Beau, which he barely dodged. "The tea, Nessa! You almost spilled the tea!" he cried, incredulity laced into every one of his features. "Like actually, goddamnit."
I gave up on withholding my laughter, and a little bit of happiness slipped back into my mood as I giggled into my pillow.
In a way, Nessa was right. I knew she wasn't trying to say this, but I should be more thankful just to have Bren.
I was lucky. I was absolutely lucky. And it was time that I started acting like it. I could sit here being sad, or I could get myself together and find the parts of me that didn't need Bren to be happy.
Later that evening, I asked Nessa if The Grounds was looking for another barista. I'd never had a job before—Quinton always convinced me out of getting one. But Quinton was no longer in my life, and I needed the money and experience. Besides, it would be fun to work with Nessa and maybe meet some other people. Luckily, my roommate was more than happy to help me fill out my application. And together, we dropped it off the following morning.
To a lot of people, it might be a tiny step in the right direction. But to me, it felt pretty big. And when I stared at the ceiling Monday night while in bed waiting for Bren to call, a warm sense of accomplishment filled me.
But that warmth quickly faded as I picked up the phone a minute later and heard Bren's voice.
"Hey, baby," he said, but there was a slight shake to his words that told me something was off.
"Bren?"
"I have to tell you something. And then I need you to make me a promise."
I was quiet, unsure what to say. Dread trickled from the tips of my fingers until it settled in my chest.
"Okay," I whispered.
"Before I left campus yesterday, I had a little chat with Brodie."
I sucked in a breath. "Oh my god, Bren. What did you do?"
"I swear, Madie. That's all. We just...talked."
"Bren—"
"That's not all I have to tell you. This morning, I got another letter from my dad. He knows, Madie."
The dread was twisting around my lungs now, making it hard to breathe. But I squeaked out, "Knows what?"
"He knows I was in Oakland. He knows you, knows your name. I don't fucking understand how, but he does."
My heartbeat pounded in my ear. Finally, I asked, "What's the promise, Bren?"
He cleared his throat, but his voice was still low and gravelly. "Don't go anywhere alone. I'm serious, baby. Please just stick with Beau and Nessa as much as possible, okay? It's only for this week."
"What happens after this week?"
There was a long pause.
"After this week, it will all be over."
🤍
How is everyone doing?
I'm excited to share with you my next project! Nessa's book, All The Wild Ones, is now up on my profile. Check it out if you interested! It will, of course, contain all the tea of what happened with Nessa & Grayson at the gala.
Updates will start after this story is over. I hope you'll stick with me for the rest of the Wildfire Series.
(Beau gets a book, too.)
Thanks again for reading!
xoxo