Caregiver Nishinoya, Regressor Asahi
<3
It wasn't unusual for Asahi to experience anxieties to extreme amounts , he would become nervous and paranoid about the world around him, not understanding why his mind wouldn't work properly. For years he would burden himself with it, but after graduating from Karasuno and getting engaged to Yuu Nishinoya , things started sorting out. With the help of the previously mentioned partner , his life began sorting out, his big problems where fading away and the picture of his life was sorting out. But that didn't stop the episodes of panic completely. Now he was sitting in the passenger seat of his car with his fiancé, fidgeting with his hands as his breathing sped up. They had already been driving for five hours , and he was scared it couldn't go on any longer. His mind felt blurry, like a headache was about to come on, and he wasn't even sure why he felt this way.
Nishinoya felt like it was his mission after getting together with Asahi to make his life the best it could be- to treat the other to everything he could, help him through his anxieties, and make everything better for him. That's all he wanted, and that's what he prided himself in doing, especially after he noticed improvement in Asahi's state of mind overtime. Even after beginning to travel around with his fiancé, he didn't notice the same anxiety in the other, which made him feel like the happiest man in the world. Now, though, as he drove, he could tell something wasn't right with his partner. He could hear his labored breathing and basically feel the tension in the air from him. "Asahi? Babe?" He asked, reaching over and putting a hand on the other's leg, "Doing okay?"
Asahi could slowly feel his mind turning to static , he couldn't focus on anything and his brain wanted to break down. It took him a moment to even realize Noya's hand was now on his thigh, he flinched when he realized it was there , shaking his head to try and adjust to the world. " Yeah i'm okay.. I don't know what's even wrong.. " he sighed out , giving a tired sort of laugh to decrease the severity of what was happening inside his head. Because he knew the situation wasn't just surface level , that he had been feeling this static for almost a week. It only made him more nervous to have fibbed about how bad it was.
Even if Asahi was lying to him about the severity, Noya wasn't as oblivious as he might seem. He'd been doing little extra things and paying careful attention to Asahi the entire week, right after he'd noticed him acting a little different. Sighing, he pulled the car over to the side of the road and stopped it so he could talk to Asahi properly without crashing. "I know you're not okay. Why don't you wanna talk, man?" He frowned, tilting his head curiously, "We're gonna be married soon. We should probably talk about our issues at least a little." He reassured him.
Asahi continued to fidget with his hands as Noya spoke to him, he wasn't even sure why he didn't wanna talk to Nishinoya. But then it hit him, he felt like. a burden to his partner , having a constant need to either regress or to cry , even though their love was proven by Nishinoya proposing , he couldn't help but feel like he was a problem. " I just haven't felt well lately.." He answered in barley a whisper. " My brain feels .. like.. static ? Yeah, like radio static. And for some reason everything is scarier .." He answered honestly , almost trying to fight off tears pricking his eyes. Noya gave little encouraging nods as Asahi spoke, wanting him to feel like he was being listened to, and not like he was a burden at all. Because he knew the other felt like that most of the time, and it frustrated Noya the most that none of his actions seemed to change that. He'd never once acted like Asahi was a burden, and yet the other still thought that way in his head. As he explained, Noya suddenly understood, and he felt like an idiot for not realizing sooner. "Asahi... Do you need to regress? I think you do." He said, now feeling like he knew exactly what to do at this point, though he couldn't properly care for him until they got to the hotel.
Asahi could never really pin point it himself when he needed to let his mind relax. He would often get much too caught up in his own thoughts to realize he needed a break , which is exactly was was happening now. Letting a tear run down his face finally he nodded his head just the slightest bit. He didn't want to cry , but he couldn't help it at the moment , his world was just very overwhelming , but at least he had Yuu by his side. Noya gave a little smile, patting Asahi's leg as he did to comfort him the slightest bit. "Okay, lil' man, you can be small!" He exclaimed softly with a large grin, "I'm right here, but I gotta get us to the hotel so you can relax completely, alright?" He told him before getting the car back on the road. They weren't far from the hotel, maybe fifteen or twenty minutes, so Asahi didn't have to wait too much longer.
Asahi continued to fidget with his hands , letting himself cry a little before a smile came to his face from Nishinoya's comfort. He wiped his eyes with a little sort of chuckle , his voice sounding quieter than his already hushed voice he usually spoke in. " Can you sing along to the music please ..?" He asked as he pulled his legs up to his chest , rubbing his eyes with his fists , clear he was beginning to slip just from the nickname he was given. Nishinoya gave a little hum of agreement and nodded before turning the music up a few notches. It was their road trip playlist and most of the songs were pretty safe for Asahi while he was regressing, so he didn't bother to change it, beginning to sing along to what was currently playing. His singing voice wasn't the absolute best, but it also wasn't bad, and he knew it comforted Asahi to listen to. He did this the whole rest of the way to the hotel, making sure every now and then that his partner was okay by giving him little glances right up until the moment they pulled into the parking space at the nice hotel.
Asahi let out a childish little giggle every time Nishinoya would miss a note or his voice would crack. " pretty.." Where the words that would come out of Asahi's mouth after every song. By the time they had arrived , the bigger of the two was curled up in a little ball, his glasses having fallen off , humming along and chewing his fingers. He had given up on trying to hide his headspace and just embraced it at this point. " hm..?" he mumbled , whilst looking around in a state of confusion. Nishinoya, though he wouldn't admit how flustered it made him, felt his face grow warm every time Asahi awed at his singing and said it was pretty. Though he was sure the giggling at his mistakes balanced that out to some degree. He looked over at Asahi and smiled. "Hey, buddy, we're here. Can you be my helper for a little bit?" He asked, situating Asahi's glasses back on his face before getting out of the car and opening up the trunk.
Asahi immediately put on the best act of a normal state of mind he possibly could, doing his best to help Nishinoya with all of the luggage they had. " heavy.." he muttered , knowing he was definitely strong enough to carry the two suitcases they had , but being too far in headspace to realize that fact. As they walked into the hotel, he followed behind Nishinoya , his shoulders hunched almost as he was cowering. Nishinoya took one suitcase, letting Asahi take other. He would've taken both, but he wasn't exactly strong enough for that since they were both pretty heavy. "I know, but you only have to carry it for a little!" He encouraged as they walked into the hotel and went up to the front desk, Nishinoya taking over and talking to the lady behind the counter, telling her about their reservation. Once he got the card keys, they made their way up to their room. When they entered, it was nice, and not too small, but just the right size, having one bed and a kitchen area as well as a lounging area.
Asahi felt like all eyes were on him, like everyone had been staring directly at him and were calling him disgusting.. he felt gross. His insides churned and he wanted to cry. So the minute they stepped inside the room he placed his back neatly on the table in the dining area , giving a little sniffle before wiping his eyes that now had tears rolling down them. " Bibber.." He whined to Noya, knowing one of them always had it on hand in case of situations like these. Nishinoya frowned when he saw the tears rolling down Asahi's face, and when the request was made, he immediately went into his travel bag he kept in the car that had essentials, pulling out the soother and taking off the sanitary cap, going over to Asahi and slipping the item between his lips. He reached up and wiped some of the tears from the other's face, "It's okay now! See, I'm here, and I'm gonna keep you safe, lil' man!" He exclaimed, grinning widely.
Asahi balled up his fists , trying to make himself look as small as possible as he whimpered and wiped his eyes gently. Though the soother helped calm him, he couldn't deny that his heart was beating at a horrible rate and his fists were trembling. He wanted this to all go away , he needed this to go away. " I'm sorry .. I'm sorry.. " He cried to Noya , trying to open his eyes , yet his vision was blurry. " You are too good.." He choked out in a slurred voice. "Hey, hey.." Noya murmured, knowing that things were becoming too much for Asahi and he was likely starting to panic, so he led him over to the bed in the room, sitting down and patting his lap for Asahi to lay his head there. "It's gonna be okay. Just c'mere, buddy. Everything's gonna be just fine, don't be sorry." He encouraged Asahi through many episodes like this enough to where he knew what he needed to do, so he was calm as he led Asahi through the steps of calming himself.
Asahi , still fidgeting , laid himself down whilst looking up at Noya with large tear filled eyes. " pa..pa..." He quietly cried , reaching up at Nishinoya in desperation for any sort of affection, any sore of reassurance that he hadn't done something bad . This exact scenario seemed all too familiar , It was how Yuu had always calmed his partner , and it almost seemed routine for when he would panic like this."Papa's right here, I promise." Noya hummed as he took Asahi's hair out of its usual bun, running his fingers through it soothingly once he did, using his other hand to hold one of Asahi's and support him. "Papa's gonna help you through, okay? We just need deep breaths, lil' baby. Deep breaths." He said before demonstrating himself how he wanted Asahi to breathe, taking a deep breath in and holding it for a moment before exhaling. "Copy me, babes."
Asahi did his best to copy Nishinoya's breathing , finding it much easier since his hand was holding his partners. Though there were still tears in his eyes , a little smile showed from behind his soother as he awed at his caregiver , sniffling to show that his breathing was back to normal and he wasn't feeling so upset anymore. " papa.." he repeated quietly , his voice sounding hoarse and cracky. "That's me.. I'm here." Noya said calmly, keeping his hold firm on Asahi's hand and still running his fingers through the other's long hair. "Are we feeling better?" He asked with a small grin, only wanting happiness for the regressor beneath him. He'd do whatever he could just to hear a laugh or a giggle from him, or to see him with a smile on his face. "If we are, I think we should go through your bag and find your blankie and stuff, how about that?"
Giving a little nod , Asahi hoisted himself up , sitting beside Noya with his arms around the others mid section. " pretty please.." Asahi whispered , always being his polite self and doing his best to appeal to Nishinoya. Though he knew in his heart nothing bad would ever happen between them, he couldn't help but need to constantly be the best and most well behaved he possibly could be while regressing. Noya couldn't care less about how behaved Asahi was in headspace, and he'd told him this. He could be the most disobedient and ill behaved regressor ever and he'd still care for him without a complaint in the world. He got up with Asahi practically attached to him and began going through the taller of the two's bag, finally finding a baby blanket, as well as a bottle and a single coloring book with a small pack of crayons- really only little stuff that they could afford to bring with the space they had. "Here you go, lil' man," He said, handing Asahi the blanket.
While they traveled , the two always made sure to bring a couple of Asahi's comfort items for when he regressed. It really was needed since they were barely ever home , and having him slip like this was something that happened every couple of days. " Thank you ve'y much papa.." He said politely , bowing his head as he took the baby blanket into his arms and tightly hugged it for his comfort. " thank you.. thank you.." he began repeating , a small sniffle escaping him once again. "You're so very welcome, cute baby," Noya grinned. God, he wanted to do anything and everything for the other male with him, and seeing him become even a little bit content from having his blanket was enough to cause a great warmth in Nishinoya's chest. "Now, would you like to do something or just cuddle with papa? You haven't been little in a while so I think we should do calm stuff!" He suggested, knowing Asahi's headspace well.
Asahi tightly hugged his blanket , thinking of what to do , images flooding through his mind if he and Noya's experiences while he was being babied. " Can I — uhm.." he cleared his voice to try and speak properly and politely. " please have a bottle with tea that has honey.." He said with a little smile , stumbling over his words , r's sounding like w's. Though he tried to be as eloquent as ever , he was still a little baby right now and often forgot to drop his manners.
Noya nodded quickly, going into their food bag and retrieving the tea and honey. "Of course you can, bud! Your manners are so good." He praised as he began boiling water in the electric kettle that the hotel provided. This only took about five minutes before he poured it into a cup and began to steep the tea. "It's gonna be a little bit because it has to steep and then cool, okay? I don't want you burning your tongue, lil' man." He said before going over to the hotel's TV and turning it onto a children's channel, putting it to a low sort of volume so Asahi wouldn't be startled.
Asahi admired Nishinoya throughout everything he did , mindlessly nodding as he cuddled up to his blanket. Usually before bed this was their sort of routine , Asahi having tea that was way too sweet for anyone but himself and watching a movie with his fiancé. When he regressed it was no different , only it would be with a bottle and more often then not a Disney movie. " I love you.." he sniffled again , this was also routine , Asahi beginning to cry over the feelings he held towards Nishinoya. Noya always awed at how emotional Asahi could get about his love almost every night, well close to it. Nishinoya wasn't nearly as in touch with his emotions, though every now and then he would get overwhelmed by his feelings in a similar fashion. He finished making Asahi's tea, letting it cool before pouring it into the bottle and screwing the top back on. He went over to the bed and climbed in next to Asahi, patting his lap. "Got your bottle, lil' baby." He smiled.
Asahi wiped his nose a little and set his glasses on the bedside table beside them. Positioning himself properly he sat between Noya's legs , leaned back in his grip. " Tha-uhm.. Thank you papa.." he responded in a whisper before bringing the bottle to his mouth, his whole body warming from the drink he had made for him. After a minute he pulled away to avoid getting a sore stomach and laid against Noya. " papa knows .. uhm.. how much love I have .. right ?"
As Asahi sat between his legs, Noya gently wrapped his arms around him and placed his head on his shoulder, leaning forward a bit to press a kiss to the side of his face. "Of course I do. You have more love than a lot of people could imagine." He hummed, petting Asahi's hair, "And papa has the same amount of love for you, you know that, right?" He asked in return.
The little kiss made a soft whisper of a giggle escape asahi as he gently flapped his arms , causing the sleeves of his sweater to cover his hands , only making a few more happy noises to escape him. " yes ..! yes , i do know papa ...! " he reassured with wide eyes cupping Nishinoya's face with his clothed hands , but flinching as the landline hotel phone started ringing , causing another whimper out of the taller of the two. Nishinoya was curious as well as to what the call could be, but he shushed Asahi comfortingly as he whimpered. He picked up the phone, answering it. "Hello?" He asked, and was immediately met with information that they had received a noise complaint coming from their room, and it had been too loud crying. Noya seemed to pale. Asahi hadn't even been crying that loud..? "Thank you, we'll be more quiet..." He muttered out before hanging up the phone, immediately wanting to distract Asahi from what had just happened. "How's your tea, babes?" He grinned.
Asahi had heard the call and became anxious , he was always nervous about his over masculine appearance and voice compared to his personality. It made his heart drop, he blamed it on how deep his voice was, and decided he didn't really want to talk anymore. Giving another whimper he just placed the bottle back in his mouth and kept quiet. " good..." He mumbled before curling back to a fetal position and drinking the last of the sweet liquid. Noya could tell that Asahi heard the conversation, and it made his heart ache. He wondered why there was even a complaint, it's not like Asahi was being that loud. He rubbed up and down the regressor's arm and shushed him a little bit. "Please don't be upset over the call, baby. It's just people being mean." He said, pressing a kiss to Asahi's hair. "Don't let it make you upset.." He added, beginning to make little braids in the other's long hair as a way to comfort him and also deal with his own need to be doing something.
Asahi's insecurity over the way he looked and sounding only got worse from hearing why they got a complaint. His hands played with Noya's shirt as he continued to whimper with his head down. He wished he could've just not have heard any of it and been too small to ignore what was said. His breathing became heavy again ,and he began trembling , only repeating his boyfriends name over and over again. Nishinoya hated that Asahi was becoming so upset over just a complaint that was given, it broke his heart. "Honey, buddy, babes..." He said, cupping Asahi's face and running his thumbs over his cheekbones. "It's alright. Deep breaths. They just said they heard a baby crying loud." He informed the last part in the hopes that it might make him feel better, and he wasn't fibbing, either, that's what had been said. "You're just a baby, babies cry and you can't help it if people are mean about it." He explained further.
Asahi gently rubbed his eyes , hoping he heard that right. Especially in his headspace he had tried to look as young as he could to try and feel more comfortable, like he didn't have to feel the pressure he did out of this state of mind for his strength. He whimpered a little , clinging back to Noya. " .. baby..?" he questioned in a voice that was almost silent. Questioning his own state of mind and the world around him in such a simple way. Noya had known this would've helped in some capacity considering the fact that Asahi was often insecure and concerned about the way he appeared both in and out of his headspace, and when he was regressed, he had a want to seem as infantile as possible, so hearing someone call his crying that of a baby was probably helpful. "Yes, baby... That's you." He grinned, ruffling Asahi's hair, "They thought you were just a little baby and nothing more than that." He reminded him, hoping to wash away some of the insecurity.
Asahi could feel a sudden mental drop unlike any other , giving a little whimpering noise as he hid into Noya's chest. He simply babbled, though he still sounded upset for some reason. Asahi wished it had never happened despite how little he felt , which would normally be a good thing. " just don' wan' be troubl.." He stumbled , a little bit of dripping coming from his lips as he spoke from behind his soother. Noya took his sleeve and cleaned up the little dribbles that were happening, before pressing a kiss to Asahi's forehead. "You're never gonna be trouble, buddy, I promise. You aren't trouble right now and you never will be, okay?" He assured with a little smile, hoping it would be enough to calm Asahi's upset. Usually he could calm him down by now, but it seemed to be going on a little longer than usual- which was okay with him, it was just worrisome.
Asahi sat up into a position where he was straddling Nishinoya's waist. Holding his clenched hands in front of his face. Though he was still a little insecure , he was glad after all this time it wouldn't hurt Nishinoya to have him sitting like this. " no t'ouble ..?" He asked in a whisper tone , placing his hands gently on Noya's chest and leaning forward to look at him. Noya gave a comforting little chuckle in his throat as he cupped Asahi's face, patting his cheek gently. "No trouble. Ever." He reassured once again, a smile on his face. "Now, how about we watch TV and we can fall asleep to it, hm? I think that'd be nice. And how about tomorrow we take a break and do what you'd like?" He suggested, knowing Asahi needed some time to just do what he wanted and be small.