Kakashi started to sweat a bit under Sid's furious gaze.
They were at the academy again, choosing to stand near the entrance. Even though Naruto complained they all go to Ichiraku Ramen, Kakashi had a feeling that it wouldn't end so well for him.
More precisely, his wallet.
He could feel the money flying out of his wallet just by thinking about it...
"Why your ass of all people? What, did they run out of all the good jōnin?" Sid remarked, crossing her arms. Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
"I-"
"And why the fuck are you a sensei? Like, I know your stupid ass. You're terrible with kids." Kakashi sweatdropped.
"Hey now-"
"And why in the fuck did I get assigned to your team? I couldn't get a useful jōnin?"
'Ouch.' Kakashi thought. "I'll have you know, I graduated the academy when I was-"
"Can we just get on with it already!?" Naruto huffed.
Sasuke chose to stay quiet, instead just waiting for this all to be over so he can go home and train.
This whole ordeal was wasting his time.
Kakashi huffed before he started to finally tell them about the test.
"Okay, so the three of you are very different and interesting! Two of you weirder than the last one." He stated.
"Haha! He's talking about you, bastard!" Sasuke grunted at the insult, closing his eyes.
"Hah! He confirmed it!" Sid gasped.
Sasuke stopped his eye from twitching.
"Hn, he was talking about you two morons."
Sid gaped, whipping her head to Kakashi. "He didn't-"
The sheepish look in his eyes said it all.
"You didn't-" Sid's mouth fell, trying to talk, but nothing coming out. As a fly was about to enter her mouth, she clamped it shut and turned away, huffing with her arms crossed.
"I'm limited edition, bitch! Y'all's are the one's who're weird!" She closed her eyes in frustration.
People these days. They're all uncultured.
Kakashi cleared his throat. "Right, well, you have a mission tomorrow."
Naruto perked up. "What kind of mission?" He grinned excitedly.
"A survival exercise." Naruto deflated at the answer.
"Why are we doing an exercise when you just said we were doing a mission!?" He complained. "We already did tons of exercises in the academy!!"
"People lie, Naruto. Ya gotta live with it, my bro." Sid shrugged. "It's as natural as the Chungus being the top tier god."
Naruto stared at her like she was a strange alien being.
"This isn't a simple exercise." Kakashi gained a dark glint in his eye, making him appear like some pedophile getting ready to kidnap some innocent child.
At least, that's what Sid thought.
"Then what kind is it, shitbag?" She asked bluntly, making Kakashi falter a bit before he started chuckling like madman.
Is this dude on some drugs or what? He sniffing the shit crack? Like, what the fuck dude?
"You okay, my guy? Do I need to take you to the hospital?"
Kakashi's scary demeanor suddenly disappeared, internally crying at how Sid kept ruining his first impression in front of his new genin.
First, it was making him look like a wanderless fool, just looking for something in the middle of town.
Second, it was trying to stab him in the eye with her chopstick, which she eventually just poked him in the eye with her finger. Which hurt, by the way.
And now, it's making him look like a moron for the third time in a row.
It was only the first day! Couldn't she hold in her rude replies for at least an hour?
Still, Kakashi continued to evilly chuckle, freaking Naruto out.
"Hey, hey! What's so funny?" Naruto asked, alarmed.
As Kakashi was about to reply, Sid beat him to it.
"Yeah, my dude. I may have known you for a couple days, but you're acting sus. And by sus, I mean you're acting like a total creeper and need to get help for your pedophillic tendencies."
Kakashi fell.
Naruto looked confused.
Sasuke's eyes widened just a bit.
"W-what?" Kakashi asked, genuinely confused.
"Don't worry, my old sensei used to hit on girls that were 15 with huuuge tits- once he called them 'tatas'. He was drunk, of course, and got slapped after he harassed some lady, but what can I say? It happens to the best of us-"
"I am not a pedophile!" Kakashi spat out, having trouble processing what was happening.
"Sure you're not! And I'm not in the bingo book!"
"You're not in the bingo book."
"And you're not a pedophile."
"I'm not!!"
"Okay bub, I know this is hard to take in-"
"It's really not."
"So, you admit it?"
"No!"
"So, you're in denial?"
"No!"
"Okay, just further proving my point. But continue with your evil antagonist chuckling, my dude."
Kakashi felt mentally drained at the moment.
He sighed. "Of 28 graduates, only some will be recognized as genin-"
"Didn't only, like, 10 of us graduate-"
Ignoring Sid, Kakashi continued. "The remaining 18 will be sent back to the academy. In other words, this exercise is an extremely-"
"-difficult test, and I was like 'So what? I can take it!' And you know what this fucker said?"
"What? That your pants aren't saggy enough to hide that nasty boner of yours?"
"Wha- no, shitbrain! Why're you looking anyway?"
"It's staring at me."
"No, it's not-"
"It's staring into my soul."
"Shut it, kid! You're ugly, anyway! Like hell I'll be attracted to you! That's just my dick print!"
"You should be embarrassed."
"What!? Why?!"
"It's like- 5 inches, bro."
"What? I'm 8!"
"No, bro."
"Shut it, brat! I'm a solid 10!"
"You just said you were 8."
"And you just said I was 5. Your point is?"
"And you wonder where I get my sass from."
"Probably from that shitty personality of yours."
"The fuck you just say!?"
"You heard me, twinkle toes."
"I will make a fucking cabob out of your dick, sensei!"
"Oh, please do."
"You nasty fuck!"
"You suggested it!"
"No, I didn't!"
"Yes, you did!"
"No, the fuck not!"
"Yes, you fucking liar!!"
"Nuh-uh!"
"Yeah-huh!"
"You're too old for this shit, sensei."
"Respect your elders, then, brat."
"Shut the fuck up, I'm only 10."
"10 inches in height, hehe- OW! Did you just fucking pinch me?"
"And I'll do it again, you bitch!"
"That hurt, you little fuck!"
"Suck it up, you pansy!"
"No, you swallow!"
"Nasty fuck!"
"Baby girl!"
"I am not a baby!"
"Okay! You're dismissed. Oh, and...I suggest you don't eat breakfast tomorrow. You'll throw up." Kakashi smiled before poofing away, a bit concerned about how Sid didn't interrupt him.
He took one last look at her, noticing how she had a soft expression on her face for once, and she looked to be in deep thought.
"-and he has us sacrifice them to him! Pretty neat, right?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Very neat."
"Hey! Were you even listening to me!?"
"Ah, of course."
"Tch. Yeah, right. You weren't listening at all!!"
"Then why ask?"
'Is she...' Kakashi disappeared, no longer in his genin's presence, but he still continued to think about Sid. 'Was she thinking about her old sensei?'
Kakashi shook off the thoughts of her, instead choosing to report back to the Hokage about his first impressions of his assigned genin.