"Stop fighting what?" she asked.
"This attraction between us."
"There is nothing of that sort between us", she retorted.
"Want me to prove it to you?"
She just got off the bed and walked again to the window, anger radiating off her. Her frustration with herself and with him was rising by the second. Why could she not resist his advances? Stupid, stupid Manjari. And who the hell was he, demanding answers, encroaching in her space as if he owned her. She was not someone's property. She would never be someone's property again. Damn him, she thought angrily. She was so done with him trying to get under her skin. She turned around to tell him exactly that to find him right behind her. He had been observing her all his while. His eyes fastened on her face again. He could see that she was very angry but she looked glorious. Manjari cleared her throat and remarked, "Eyes, up here mister". And regretted it within seconds. His eyes were burning with an intensity that frightened her. She felt herself a captive of his gaze, her breath came in shallow gasps and she felt goosebumps on her body. Her mouth was suddenly too dry and she felt too hot. He must have noticed the changes because he smirked. He smirked. That arrogant prick. She would tell him exactly what she thought of him later. She needed to leave now to break this tension. She eyed the door and his eyes followed her movement. He knew exactly what she was trying to do but he would not let it happen. Even before she could take a step towards the door, Neel started to back her against the window effectively cutting off her escape route. His one hand curved around the nape of her neck and her other hand around her waist. And he fastened his lips on her.
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From the moment his lips touched Manjari's, she was lost. He kissed her like no one had kissed her, like he meant it, wanted it and was enjoying it. It was forceful but his lips were gentle on hers and he took his time kissing her and exploring the shape of her mouth, her lips. His lips sucked, explored, enjoyed. He kissed her lips and then started peppering her jawline with kisses. His hand on her neck slid up into her hair to pull her closer like he wished to devour her. He nipped at her lower lips, licked it, sucked it demanding her to open her mouth...to let it in. When she didn't, he began to suck on her neck as his hands slowly circled the underside of her breasts. Manjari gasped and Neel took advantage of it to invade her mouth, to explore it. Manjari couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't say anything. His onslaught had robbed her of all her faculties.
Neel could not believe that he was kissing her. He kissed her with all the anger and aggression and fire within him. He wanted her to burn for him as he burned for her. She smelt amazing as he brought her up against his body. He turned with her in his arms and began to walk her to her bed, still kissing her. He lay her on the bed, her legs still touching the ground and continued to kiss her, alternating between deeper, longer kisses and pecks on her cheeks, her neck, her collarbone. He could feel the curves of her body and wanted to touch her everywhere but he knew he couldn't. He respected and loved her way too much to take advantage of the situation. His hands cupped her breasts and would have jerked upwards if not for his body that was trapping hers.
Manjari couldn't believe what she was feeling. His touch was driving her crazy and she wanted more. When he cupped her breasts, it was like a dam burst forth and she found herself kissing him back! Her kisses were hesitant. She didn't have much experience and tried to follow his movements. When she sucked his lower lips and nipped it, a groan came out of his mouth. When she explored his mouth with her tongue, they dueled for dominance.
Neel was over the moon. She was kissing him. Her kisses were hesitant, hinting at her inexperience (the caveman in him was happy about this!) and her nervousness. But he needed to stop now. He lifted his mouth from hers and noticed her underneath him. She was lying on the bed, with her eyes closed. Her lips were slightly swollen from all the kissing and there were a few scratches that his beard had left on her. He touched them gently with her fingers. Mine, he thought. Only mine. He rolled to his sides, still keeping one of his arms around her. She opened her eyes to meet his gaze, her desire still reflected in her eyes.
He tucked some stray strand of her hair behind her ears "Deny this, if you can. ..". he whispered, leaning forward to kiss her again and then resting his forehead against hers.
Manjari tried to regain her breath as she averted his gaze from her. she wriggled in his grasp, desperate to escape but he only held her tighter. "I told you, stop fighting this. "She tried again. She needed some space from him, from his scent, from his eyes.
"Let me go", said Manjari, her voice sounding husky even to her.
"No", he said firmly. "You are no longer running away from me."
Manjari pushed against him again but he did not even budge. Stupid men and their stupid strength. "Please, let me go."
"Why? I like having you in my arms. Holding you. Kissing you....", and began nuzzling her neck again.
Manjari pushed his mouth away from her body and turned on her side, her body set for flight. But Neel was not having any of it. He circled her waist and drew her into him.
Even with her back turned, she could feel his gaze on her. "We would be exceptional together", he said. "Give us a chance. Give me a chance. Stop hiding. Stop running away from me. I am not going away anywhere."
Manjari freed herself from Neel's hold and opened her bedroom door. He understood what she was implying and left, but not without asking her to think about it. Manjari made her way to the bathroom and turned the water on scalding hot. She wanted to wipe away all reminders of today's encounter. Stepping into the shower, she allowed the spray to wash away the pain and hopefully, her feelings for Neel, though she doubted it. Manjari couldn't stop thinking about him. Her mind was constantly flooded with images of Neel and it did not help that he was a few feet away.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't quell the sexual energy flooding through her. No matter how hard she tried, she could not get rid of the sensation of his lips on her.
Suddenly she remembered another set of lips. She remembered the bite marks on her body and the pain she had been in for days. She felt the walls of the shower closing around her as she sank on her knees. Manjari felt her tears mix with the water cascading down her body. She cried freely as she allowed her to feel again the pain and humiliation that she had to face in her marriage.
Manjari did not have to be a rocket scientist to know that a lot of her issues had roots in her exploitative marriage. She did not need a counsellor to tell her that she needed to grieve properly to heal. That she should stop caring too much about what people would say. That she cared too much about making the people around her happy other than herself. She knew that she was a doormat but she couldn't bring herself to change no matter how hard she tried. She was in the shower for god's knows how long. Her thoughts were muddled and she needed to sort them out. More importantly, what was she going to do about Neel?
By the time she came out her skin was pruned. She dried her hair and changed into her nightclothes.
With a clearer head, she began to think of the situation at hand.
Pros
He could kiss. He was easy to talk to. He said he had feelings for her, for a long time. He could cook and be reasonably clean. She was attracted to him. She felt her face go warm the moment she admitted it. Again. they had chemistry if the kisses were anything to go by. r maybe it was her total experience speaking. She had slept with one guy in her life- her ex-husband and the experience had been awful. His kisses or his touch had never made her feel so out of control.
Cons
she still doubted his feelings. he was a flirt. what if he was messing with her? She had a daughter to think of. She could do casual too. Nothing was stopping her and nobody needed to know. Only problem. She did not do casual. Even if things did work out between them, there were other concerns. Like her family. She suspected that her parents would be happier to see her married off but what about his family? Would they be ok with a divorcee who also had a daughter? O.K., she was getting ahead of herself...
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Manjari hadn't slept a wink last night. She had been up all night trying to find answers within her heart. She had reached a decision and she hopes she wouldn't regret it later. She had called her supervisor and taken leave for today. She had also emailed her professor excusing herself from today's class. She could hear Neel moving around the house and she was sure she heard his footsteps quite a few times outside her bedroom door too. She was grateful that he had not made any attempt to come inside. She stood up and pushed aside the curtains filling the erstwhile darkroom in sunlight. She took a long luxurious shower washing away all the cobwebs from her mind. She knew that her circumstances of were hard. It was a process that had been extremely tough for her- from start to finish, and she still felt emotional -even years after her divorce. The residual anger, hurt, confusion, , and even self-blame hadn't just disappeared once her divorce was finalized. She was struggling to move on in her life. It was the painful memories of the divorce and the fear of getting hurt again that were stopping her from taking chances again. But last night she had promised herself that she would give herself and this relationship a chance.
She still had a lot of doubts, particularly regarding Amaira. Amaira was her primary concern, her responsibility. How would she react to a new man in her mother's life? When should she introduce the two to each other? Would Neel be keen to share Amaira's responsibility with her? Because if he couldn't, she wouldn't have anything to do with him.
Manjari waited for Neel to leave for his classes before she came out of her bedroom. She was deeply grateful that he had the sense enough to give her space. She went to the kitchen to make herself some breakfast and found her favourite breakfast waiting for her on the breakfast table! She could get used to this, she thought as she sipped her tea and ate her poha. He should stop adding tomatoes to it though, she thought. After breakfast and cleaning up, she dug out her phone and spoke to Amaira.
After speaking to Amaira, she sent a message to Neel and got ready for the day ahead.