Mariam's POV
There are a thousand voices in my head shouting out at once. My head, it aches every moment these voices make an appearance. They are too loud today, as they should be. They demand answers. I have none.
You're not a kid!
They can't control you like that!
They can't do this to you!
Why don't they listen to you?
Why don't they believe you?
Something burns around my sinuses and then tears make their way. I try to stifle my cries but it hurts even more as I try to not a make sound. I curl up in my queen sized bed as I lay my head on the pillow and close my eyes. I clasp my open mouth with my hand to keep in the sobs. How I wish what happened today had never happened.
Sausan is one my close friends. She has been with our group since fifth grade. I remember the first day I saw her innocent face staring blankly across the classroom. Little did she know she would meet a crazy group of girls like us and become a part of our tightly knit friendship.
So it was natural for her to come up to me to share her secrets and worries. As she did a week ago, when she told me that a stalker guy had been after her and was trying every way to get closer to her, be it simply stalking her on social media or creepily walking her to her home. He hadn't spoken much to her, he would only smile when she would look at him fearfully. The only time he spoke to her was online through direct messaging. He said the most creepiest stuff to her, sometime commenting about the colour of her eyes of the shape of her figure. She was too shaken and was getting weaker and weaker every day be it mentally or physically. She was too scared to talk to her parents about it as she was their only child and they very strict and very protective of her. I understood her and sympathized with her immediately.
The girls took on the duty to block this guy's account and make her a new account. One decided to accompany her on the way home. And I decided to gather his information and submit a complaint against him to the student's council. This would at least alert the school security and they would be looking for him around the campus. Luckily, the compliant was investigated thoroughly and the guy turned out to be from the neighbouring boy's school as we had all expected. His parents were called to our school to make them aware of his actions and he was suspended by his own school as well.
The joy on Sausan's innocent face when she was served justice was invaluable. That day we celebrated and thanked Allah for providing our friend with justice and the protection she needed. But little did I know that I was going to be the next target of his.
A long week had come to an end, and I stood waiting for Fahad bhai, my eldest brother, to pick me up in his car. Slowly, the crowd around me started to disappear as everyone went back home with their respective guardians until it was only myself, left alone outside the school campus. I got more and more anxious as the time ticked on my wrist watch. Then I heard a car's sound coming from far away and I finally took a breath of relief. But to my disappointment, it wasn't Fahad bhai's cars. It was a maroon car and the windows were rolled down. When I noticed the faces of the passengers inside the car, my blood turned cold. Because one of the faces belonged to the stalker.
I gathered that he and his good for nothing friend had come after school to hunt for a new prey. The car slowed down as it went by the footpath where I stood. All of their heads turned to me. I could feel their filthy eyes scanning every inch of me. I backed away and wanted to run back into the gates. The guard had closed the doors but he was still inside his cabin. That's when I made a very wrong decision.
I knew this stalker guy found pleasure in making others feel scared of him, especially teenage girls like myself. I didn't want him to leave satisfied today. He had tortured my friend for weeks and if I were to get scared of him, he would keep coming back for more of that sick twisted pleasure. So I decided to stand still and wait for Fahad bhai some more. I knew once Fahad bhai got here, I would be fully safe. So I stood still and ignored their hideous existence as they slowly drove by. I was not aware that they would come back for more.
I heard the sounds of tires rolling against the road again. A sense of security washed over me but it was snatched away as soon as it came because it wasn't Fahad bhai's car, again. The same car had come back after taking a round turn. This time they were blasting loud music, what I guessed to be a Bollywood item song. I grew more and more terrified of their intentions. They slowed down again as they drove closer and closer. I wanted to shout for help but at the same time I didn't want to make a scene nor give them the satisfaction they were looking for. They stopped right before me. I took a few steps back and started looking away, praying to Allah to send my brother to me on time.
I caught a glimpse of the them and noticed how they looked too dressed up for a visit to their school. They started singing loudly along the song they were playing, making sure I heard and understood each lyric clearly. They started pointing to me as they would sing the filthy lines. My blood boiled at their stupidity and vulgarity. They looked nothing less than dogs barking on the streets. I fisted the straps of my bag in my hands. That's when one of the passenger door on the opposite side opened and the stalker guy stepped out.
He closed the door and walked over to stand in front of the car. "Hey girlie!", he called me in his sick voice. I played him no attention and kept looking away for Fahad bhai. "Aren't you friend of that Sausan girl?", he asked.
I kept ignoring and took another step back.
"Oh c'mon. I'm not that bad looking", he laughed and the laughter of his friends followed. I could hear him smirk as he spoke. Clearly, this was just another hunt and I was his new prey. So I did not want to give him any attention to let him know that his existence meant nothing to me.
"Hmm. So you're the quiet and shy type", he said as he put his hands in his pockets. "Then you're my type"
This was the moment I wanted to slam him on the ground and punch the living jerk out of him. But I was clearly out numbered and resolved to just ignoring him completely.
Suddenly I heard him hit his hand on the boot of the car and I noticed his friends drive away.
"Enjoy my bro!", a friend of his cheered as they quickly drove away.
It was just him and me. Now I looked directly at him staring as hard I could. He should know how it feels when a creep stares you up and down.
"Smile girlie!"
I kept staring. Even though he was clearly taller and stronger than me, I wasn't going to back down anymore.
He started walking, decreasing the distance between us. I was ready to punch him any minute. They didn't call me the 'sports girl' for nothing.
"If you're looking for a ride, you know that me and my friends will be willing to offer one for free. We might have not enough space for one extra person, but I'll make sure you're comfortable... right here", he tapped his thigh.
That's when I realised what a mistake I had made to not go back inside the school moments ago. I felt the fear run through me, making my heart beat faster and faster. He was getting closer and closer now. One more step and he would be in an arms reach. He took that step and I brought my hand up to punch him in the nose. He caught my wrist immediately and clenched on my wrist tightly. I started to hurt to badly.
"You can complain all you want now. No one's here to listen", he smirked as I fought to get my wrist out of his.
"Leave me!", I pushed him but he still wouldn't let my hand go. That's when I felt truly scared. I wanted to cry. But with Allah's Mercy, it was Imran bhai who arrived on time.
"Mariam!", Imran bhai screamed at me angrily. That's when I knew everything was going to take a wrong turn.
Fortunately, Afaaf api was there too. She was struggling to catch up to Imran bhai as she was pregnant. I ran towards her as Imran bhai took that creep by his collar. I ran to Afaad api not looking behind me, horrified of Imran bhai's reaction. She hushed me and put a protective arm over me, and told me to go sit in the car. I ran to the car, trying to collect myself and not break into tears.
I got in the car and locked my door. He had parked the car at the end of the street, so I couldn't see clearly nor listen to what was taking place between Imran bhai and the creep. The guard had stepped out the gates and they stood there for a while before bhai and api decided to get back to the car.
Bhai closed the door with a loud thud. It was clear that he was going to be angry with me just like before. His glaring eyes met mine in the rearview mirror, "Wait till I tell Abbu! Is this why we send you to school?"
"Api", I cried looking at Afaaf api for help. I knew he was going to blow this out of proportion before our parents. Finally she told him to quiet down and solve it when we get home. The whole ride back was silent and I know a storm was taking form inside my brother.
His anger exploded once he got home and he started calling Abbu and Ammi to summon a hearing in the living room. I was dying under embarrassment and fear as all this took place before Afaaf api. But she helped me by putting herself between the him and me, not allowing him to shout anymore.
Ammi appeared shocked and frightened due to all the shouting. I ran to her and she took me in her arms. I finally felt safe. When she asked him the reason for all the drama he said, "Enough. She isn't going to that school anymore. I saw the type of guys she was talking to. There's nothing but filthy environment over there"
"No Ammi! Believe me!", I cried, "I don't talk to guys! He was the one who came came up to me and started talking! I swear I didn't do anything!"
"Lies!", Imran shouted again.
"Enough Imran. You won't say another word to her. I spoke to that guy myself. It's his fault. Don't you dare accuse Mariam like that", Afaaf api intervened.
Just then Abbu came out of his study and asked what all was happening. He looked around for a reply. Afaaf api explained everything as I sat there crying in Ammi's arms. Then they were told to go home by Abbu, and not to interfere in the matter anymore. Abbu didn't listen to Imran bhai because he has witnessed his unreasonable anger before and Alhamdulilah he believed me.
"Beta, why didn't you take your phone with you? Why didn't you call me using the school phone? If something like this happens, you just don't just stand there, you seek your own protection first!", Abbu sounded disappointed. "We will have to go to your school tomorrow and if I don't see that they are handling the matter well, then I'll have to shift to you to another school. There's no other choice"
Ammi agreed to everything he said even though I told him several times that I did not want to change schools, not in my last year.
That's what broke me again and again. I was not ready for such a change. I was not ready to say goodbye to my friends. I did not want this to happen at all. If only Imran bhai hadn't been there, this conversation with my parents wouldn't have taken this turn. I could have solved the issue on my own with the school authorities.
All of my life's decisions end up going in their hands and that's exactly why I dislike being the youngest in this household and a younger sister to elder brothers with a generation gap. All my friends always swooned over the fact that I had a princess-like life. Three elder 'good looking' brothers who 'gushed' over me. Parents who 'never' said 'no' to me. Little did they how suffocating it was to deal with this family in such situations. Where everyone regarded me too young to make my own decisions and too young to have my own voice. And that's why the voices in my head reprimanded me today.
I cried myself to sleep cursing the existence of that freak and feeling helpless about what was to happen tomorrow in the principal's office.
****
"The student from our neighbouring school who has been causing troubles to our students has been permanently expelled at our request. His friends' parents have also been informed of their children's disruptive actions through personal letters and the parents are cooperating with us in the matter. I assure you Mr. Khan that your daughter will be provided with the same safety that I wish for my own children. But I would like to inform you once again, that any negligence from your part or Mariam will not be the school's fault. We always request the parents to pick up their children from the gates at the right time and for the children to wait inside the waiting area rather than standing outside", Ms. Syeda, our principal directed her attention to me, warning me with her eyes. I felt embarrassed and look down at my fidgeting hands.
Crazy Mariam! You don't always have to be the hero.
"Now, I hope this will be our last meeting on the matter and we I wish to meet you again on Mariam's graduation", she shook hands with Ammi as we stood up to leave.
"Hopefully Mariam will make us proud again with her academic achievements", the principal smiled at me and she shook my hand. I was glad I was still in her good books after all the drama that had taken place. The reassurance from her meant a lot to me and my parents.
I left that office feeling glad and hopeful. Now me and my friends can breathe freely without worrying about any creeps trying to spoil our life.
****
I was still mad at Imran bhai. Though the heavy emotions I felt the past week had slowly faded away and the matter was solved, he still owed me an apology. And I wasn't planning to be easy going any soon.
He had tried to talk me over Ammi's phone but I wasn't going to talk to him unless he was standing right before, just like the day he had stood in the living room accusing me so openly. He came home to visit us a few days after he called. Afaaf api was there too. I decided not to meet anyone and stay in my room until he leaves.
After a while I heard a knock on my door. I felt slightly annoyed as I was busy making notes for my exams so I didn't answer. The door wasn't locked anyways. Someone knocked again and I still ignored. Just as I had suspected, Imran bhai walked in.
"Mariam...", he spoke in a low tone. I did not pay him any attention and did not want to speak to him when I was busy studying.
"I brought something for you", he walked over. I noticed from the corner of eyes that he held a box wrapped in shiny pink gift wrap. So he thought he could lure me into talking to him with a gift? What did think I was? A five year old?
After a moment of complete silence he spoke again, "Mariam, I want to talk to you"
"And I don't", I finally spoke up in a stern voice, "So please leave and don't disturb me again and again"
He was quiet again, maybe shocked by my stern reply. He shouldn't expect me to be all goofy with him after how he acted that day.
"I'm not here to disturb you, Mariam. I really just want you to listen to me"
"Fine", I threw my pen on the table and turned to him. He looked worried as he should be. He should know that actions have consequences. "I'm listening now"
"I'm sorry", he said making a puppy face. Like that changed anything.
"Done? Now leave!", I turned back to my notes.
"Mariam please listen to your bhai", he tried to hold my hand but I shoved him away, "I'm sorry. I won't shout at you again, I promise"
"No! Why should I listen to you? Did you try to listen to me that day? Did you try to understand how scared and embarrassed I was? No! You didn't. Because every time something happens, it's my fault! This is not the first time you have done this. You know very well that you have done this before and there's no guarantee that you will not repeat it again. But this time you insulted me before Afaaf api! I thought that once you get married you'll finally leave me alone and stop imposing your judgments on me. But I guess it's no use. You still don't believe me. You called me a liar! Abbu and Ammi know very well now about whose fault it really was but you still think that everything was my fault. That I was acting irresponsibly. That I'm too 'young' to understand the world. If Zaid bhai was there that day he would've pushed that freak away and tried to help me. Not pin point me as a liar", I had started crying in the midst of my mental breakdown. I didn't want to take Zaid bhai's name before Imran bhai but it had slipped out accidentally. The pain on Imran bhai's face at the mention of this name was evident. I never wanted him to feel like he was any less of a brother to me than Zaid bhai, but it was true that Zaid bhai would never accuse me. He knew me inside out. I started sobbing even more as I once again faced the reality of him being so far away from us.
I placed my head down on the table as I sobbed into my arm. I heard Imran bhai come close as he placed the gift box on my table. He swallowd a lump in his throat as he placed his hand on my head, "Mariam, I-I'm so sorry for saying that. I am your elder brother", he emphasized, "and I shouldn't have said that to you. I know I'm not as cool as your Zaid bhai", he chuckled weakly, "but I'm still your brother and I just wanted to help you. I shouldn't have gotten angry at you at all. I know it wasn't your fault. I've been very immature about it and I will correct my actions. But Mariam, please understand that you have to be careful. You should be aware of other's intentions and you should try to protect yourself first. If something happens...", he sighed, "you don't know how worried we get about you. Though we try our best but sometimes all of us might not be able to be there for you so we get afraid for you"
"I understand that bhai but I'm not a kid. You should trust me. Abbu trusts me. Ammi too. Then why won't you? Why do you think I would lie about this?", I started crying fresh tears. Bhai held my hand as he waited for me to calm down.
"Mariam, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I trust you and I won't say that ever again. Please don't cry. You know Zaid will literally kill me if he finds out I made you cry. Ammi has already lectured me a lot and your Afaaf api, don't even get me started on how long she lectured me", he joked making both of us laugh.
"See, some people actually have more brain than you!", I teased him wiping my tears. He gave a genuine smile after noticing that I had finally forgiven him.
"Now, Madame Mariam, please accept these chocolates that have been brought from far and wide only for you", he said in his 'posh' accent.
"I swear you must've gotten these from one of those cheap displays on the corner bakery", I replied, exposing him.
"Fortunately for you, it's not my choice, it's your api's choice", he said and that made me excited about the gift box. Inside it was a small paper that read, "All the best for your exams! From Imran and Afaaf (P.s. Don't worry about your brother, I'll be keeping an eye on him)", I smiled knowing it was written by Afaaf api. My mood was better now so I decided to go meet her before they would leave.
Afaaf api looked happy even though she was really tired and probably had back ache. I hope Imran bhai was taking good care of her as Ammi had told him. Even though the baby was not here yet, they looked like a happy little family. I wished the best for them. All of my brothers now had their own families to look after, except one. Zaid bhai. How Ammi worried about him days and nights. Only if one day this unwanted distance ends and Abbu's heart melts for him, we would get him back and never let him go again. How I wait for the grand day that Zaid bhai gets married to the most beautiful girl and have his own family just like Fahad bhai and Imran bhai. I prayed to Allah to make my duas come true soon.
A/N
Asalamualaikum dear readers!
So this is the chapter that contains the missing scene that most readers were confused about and some were even offended by Imran's reaction to it. I could've just edited out that chapter but I really wanted to take the readers into Mariam's mind with her POV. You guys deserve this extra update after waiting for me for days! Love you all who wait for so long ❤
So let me know your thoughts on Mariam's character and how do you expect this character to turn out? Do you feel a difference when reading from Mariam's POV? Have you noticed any character traits that are unique to Mariam?
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Also, I'd like to you guys to go over to Unitedmuslimah and check out her book "Spotlight for Muslims" . I gave an interview to her where I share some new personal perspectives and the upcoming books I'm working on especially for MMM2. Make sure to add your feedback through comments
Till next time!
See ya!