I ignored all twelve missed calls from Aiden in the last day. He clearly wasn't getting the message that I didn't want to talk to him. Couldn't he just leave it?
I was getting ready to pick up Lacey to take her to the beach. We were going to hang out and work on our tans. I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. Everything else fell by the wayside.
I hadn't seen much of Max as all my free time was going to Lacey. He was very understanding but it didn't make me feel any better. It only reminded me that Aiden understood what I was going through.
Any thoughts of calling him to unload went up in smoke. I had ruined that chance. It had been a spectacular mistake. Even now a few days later I still found myself thinking about the kiss that had turned my world upside down.
It was just a kiss. How could if affect me in such a profound way? And the heaviness of the guilt it brought was suffocating. I didn't know how much longer I could carry it.
But every time I considered dealing with it I remembered what my best friend was dealing with. My problems could wait, she couldn't. I was dedicating all of my time to her, even it meant skipping class.
She was the most important thing in my life at the moment I wanted to make sure she understood that no matter what she was dealing with she wasn't alone.
Trying to concentrate on my day ahead I got a beach bag out and started pack some towels, sunscreen and a few snacks. If my friend wanted to spend some time at the beach I was going to make it happen.
While I busied myself with getting everything ready I managed to stop myself from thinking about the boy who had made me question everything with just one kiss.
My phone started to ring and I dashed to my bed to answer it. For a moment I hesitated while I read the caller ID. It wasn't a number I knew. I thought it might be Aiden calling from another phone to get through to me but I disregarded the thought and answered it. "Hello."
"Reece it's Alex," Reece's brothers voice was raw with emotion.
I sank to sit on my bed, feeling the ominous feeling that something was very wrong.
"What's wrong?" I mumbled, knowing it was going to be bad, very bad.
I held my breath for what felt like forever but was only a few seconds.
"It's Lacey. She's in hospital."
My hand tightened on the phone as I tried process what he had just said.
"Reece?"
I swallowed. Hospital. My mind raced. "What...happened?" My mind was still trying to play catch up.
My stood up and began to pace the length of my room, feeling the panic build to a crushing weight on my chest.
"She passed out. The paramedics rushed her to hospital. She is going to have the surgery."
Surgery. The last word vibrated through me feeling like my chest was going to explode.
"Reece?"
I tried to respond but it was impossible with the building up emotion in my chest.
"Reece? Are you there?" Alex questioned.
I took a deep breath and released it. "Yeah."
"She'll be okay," he assured me, knowing I was contemplating the worst.
No one could say that with any certainty.
"I need a favour," he added.
I was still pacing the room and I stopped. "What do you need?"
My mind was still racing and I was trying to stop myself from going into a full blown panic.
"Please call Aiden and tell him."
Call Aiden, the one person I was avoiding at all costs.
"Yes sure." There was no hesitation, I would do it for my friend. In her time of need, I could not refuse no matter how messed up things were between myself and Aiden.
"See you soon," Alex said before ending the call.
For a moment I curled up in a ball and cried for a few minutes allowing the buildup of emotions free so I could sit up and dial Aiden. Still wiping my tears I listened to the ringing.
"Hey," Aiden's voice blanketed me when he answered my call.
I let out a heavy breath.
"What's wrong Reece?" he questioned.
"It's Lacey," I breathed, still struggling not to fall to pieces and give into the panic that wanted to take hold and not let go.
"What?" he asked.
"Alex called. Lacey is in hospital."
"I don't understand. What happened?" He sounded as confused as I had when I had first learnt the news.
"She collapsed and was rushed to hospital." I tried to explain as much as I knew which wasn't much at all.
"Is she okay?" he whispered.
"I think so."
"Are you at the hospital?"
"No, I'm at home. I just got the call from Alex. She is going to have the surgery."
There was silence for several seconds.
"Are you still there?" I asked, rubbing my temple.
"How are you holding up?" His voice was hoarse and I swallowed.
His words tore me up and I felt a sob rip from him. I smothered my cries with a hand as I held my phone unable to answer his question.
"Reece," he said, trying to calm her down but nothing was going to stop the oncoming emotional meltdown.
I didn't end the call I held the phone in my hand while I cried trying to find the strength to pull myself together.
The call didn't disconnect. In amongst my sobs I could still hear Aiden on the other side even though he didn't say anything. Maybe he understood that no amount of words would help. Telling me that everything was going to be okay meant nothing. They were just words people said when they didn't know what the outcome would be.
No one had a crystal ball or could foretell the future so they had no way what was going to happen, no more than I did.
And right at that moment I was terrified in a way I couldn't put into words.
My friend's situation was all too real and with odds that weren't in her favour how could I even hope she could be okay?
Each time I closed my eyes I could see an image of the two of doing something stupid and hearing Lacey laugh. It cut into me like a hot knife through butter.
I cried for a while and when I could finally take a breath without renewed tears falling I stood up.
The door bell rang and frowned.
Still holding onto the phone I slowly made my way downstairs, trying to wipe the tears I'd just been crying from my face. There was no way to hide the fact I was upset or the red puffiness of my eyes.
I opened the door and Aiden stood in front of me with his phone against his ear.
His expression pulled at me and I bit my lip intent on the pain to keep me from falling into a mess at his feet.
None of the awkwardness from the night we kissed hung between us, it was only the worry for our friend that connected us.
He lowered his phone to his pocket and I held my phone to my chest.
He stepped forward and put his arms around me. I didn't pull away. I needed him, someone who understood what I was feeling without me trying to put it into words.
I rested my head against his chest and he hugged my tightly. In that moment my anguish was shared and it lightened the load weighing on my shoulders.
There were no more tears, instead I released a heavy breath and his arms held me closer.
I just wanted a minute exactly where I was before my conscience creeped in and I was compelled to do the right thing. Being in his arms feeling the way I did about it wasn't right but I didn't care.
With my worlds spinning out of control he was the only one who understood what it felt like and it made me feel like I wasn't alone. It was something I needed more than anything else. Even the boy I was dating as guilty as it made me feel.