tw: sexual assault, rape
namjoon was mute, he had been mute for years. ever since he finished high school and ended up with trauma
to his surprise, he ended up with a cute boy named min yoongi who happened to know sign language too. it was a joy to wake up to yoongi's gummy smile, his messy hair, and to his cuddles.
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"morning, joon" yoongi said, namjoon waved at yoongi and smiled which made the older boy blush.
"i don't wanna go to therapy today" namjoon signed, a pout on his lips, the older boy raised a brow, "why not?" he asked as he made his morning coffee. he was still in his pajamas.
"we've been talking about trauma and it's not nice and it's triggering " namjoon signed, yoongi frowned, "doesn't sound fun, i've never heard about your trauma but being triggered is not a nice thng" yoongi said, namjoon hadn't told yoongi in their 3 years of dating about his trauma, he was scared yoongi would leave him.
"not fun at all. cuddles?" namjoon signed with a huge smile, yoongi giggled, "just give me a few minutes"
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when yoongi picked up namjoon from his therapy session, there was a tense atmosphere. yoongi gulped and looked at the boy who was crossing his arms.
"did everything go well?" yoongi carefully asked, namjoon didn't answer so yoongi immediately knew the answer, "let's get rest at home" yoongi said, handing namjoon a water bottle.
yoongi pretended to be focused on driving but was focused on namjoon, the boy seemed anxious. he took a mental note to hide any sharp things and medication when they got home.
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yoongi hugged namjoon while they slept, he didn't realize the boy was going to be scared when he woke up.
he realized when he was woken up by namjoon screaming. he had only heard namjoon's voice when he hummed, chuckled, or screamed.
yoongi let out a grunt when namjoon threw him off the bed, "are you okay joon?" yoongi asked, immediately regretting it because namjoon began crying and shaking.
yoongi loved everything about namjoon but sometimes he wished the boy would speak, especially in moments like these.
"scared" namjoon managed to sign, yoongi nodded and got closer to the boy which made him flinch, "oh joon, you need to calm down, take deep breaths with me" yoongi said, demonstration how to take deep breaths.
namjoon was exhausted by the end of it, he flopped back onto the bed and sniffled, "rest joonie, you need it"
namjoon got a small notebook from under his pillow, it was a notebook they used to communicate at times.
he took a pen and began writing
'yoon, can i tell you about my trauma?'
yoongi looked at the writing and nodded, "only if you feel comfortable and you're in the right mindset"
'please don't leave me for this'
yoongi frowned, "of course i won't leave you"
'in my senior year of high school, i was raped everyday for two months'
the older boy's mind went blank, he didn't know what to think. who in this world would hurt his joonie? he felt so much rage inside him, he wasn't upset at namjoon at all.
namjoon gulped, he couldn't read yoongi's reaction and it made him nervous, "you didn't deserve any of that" yoongi softly said, "you're such a precious boy" yoongi said, he made eye contact with namjoon and sighed, he wanted to hug namjoon and tell him everything was going to be okay but he didn't want to trigger namjoon.
namjoon wanted to cry, he loved yoongi so much. there wasn't one thing he didn't like about yoongi, he loved his smile, sweet personality, the way he stutters when he gets nervous, he loved everything about him.
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after namjoon told yoongi about his trauma, their bond got stronger, such a loving couple. yoongi would take the cutest pictures of them together. they were so in love.
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"and then some dude was in my work studio at the company" yoongi scoffed, he was ranting about his horrible day at work and how nothing was working out for him, "how was your therapy session by the way? i forgot to ask" yoongi chuckled, "i thought you were talking about how work was" namjoon signed, "i was but that was all, i wanna know about your day" yoongi said, ruffling namjoon's hair.
"it was okay, it's always exhausting so not much different" namjoon signed, shrugging afterwards. except, he lied, this session was different this time because he was considering speaking again. his therapist had made him realize a lot of things.
"ahh, that probably means it's working" yoongi said, namjoon nodded. he decided that if he were to speak again, yoongi was going to be the first one to hear his voice.
he started to overthink it, what if yoongi left him because of his voice? he frowned at the thought, yoongi wouldn't leave him because of that.
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today was the day, it was the day he was going to speak. he needed to build up courage so he probably wouldn't speak until the afternoon or at night.
namjoon made breakfast for both him and yoongi, small hums occasionally leaving his lips. yoongi deserved a lot, it sas something namjoon regularly thought about. yoongi wasn't like anyone else. he had the kindest soul ever.
yoongi woke up and headed to the kitchen, he was so hungry and was glad to see namjoon had made food.
"thanks joonie, i'm so hungry" yoongi giggled, namjoon smiled and nodded, grabbing some coffee for yoongi.
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it was night time and namjoon still hadn't spoken, yoongi was already getting ready for bed. he sighed, he was going to say goodnight to yoongi.
'you can do this' namjoon mentally cheered, a small smile on display. he occasionally spoke to himself but yoongi hadn't really heard. he was nervous to see yoongi's reaction.
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namjoon breathed in, kissing yoongi's cheek, "goodnight yoongi, sweet dreams" he spoke, yoongi's eyes shot open, "am i hearing things?" he asked, sitting up in bed. his heart was racing.
"nope, now goodnight" namjoon smiled, yoongi raised a brow, "say something again if i'm not hearing things" yoongi said, "well what do you want me to say" namjoon chuckled, yoongi felt his heart beat faster and tears brim in his eyes.
"why are you crying?" namjoon asked, yoongi tried to speak but he didn't know what to say, "b-because, this is big!" he choked out, "maybe but i don't think you should cry" namjoon said, wiping yoongi's tears, "d-does this mean you're going to use your voice now?"
namjoon hummed, "i'll still sign, i'll only speak to you, everyone else can read my sign" namjoon chuckled, yoongi sniffled, "i love you a lot and i'm so proud of you" yoongi said, namjoon shyly smiled, "thank you"
namjoon pulled yoongi into a hug and smiled, both of them couldn't stop smiling and giggling.
"hey hyung, thank you for always being with me"
yoongi smiled, "why wouldn't i be with you?"
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stay safe and healthy! drink water and eat some food! sorry for any mistakes, i love you all! qotd: do you like your name? why or why not? also, this is a bit shorter than usual, so sorry! it's all over the place