Chapter Twenty-Seven: Adamant Not…
“Lakeisha.”
The sound of my name penetrated through the grogginess of my sleep. I stretched slightly, pain running through a small moan of pain escaped my lips and I found myself looking up into Rome’s pretty hazel eyes. What was he doing here? Where was Angel? Pulling myself up into a sitting position, I glanced around the room before my gaze moved back to him.
“Where’s Angel?” I asked.
“He’s currently being questioned by those bogus ass cops,” Rome responded. “Rodriguez and his partner decided to question him about some fire, yesterday.”
I stared at him and arched an eyebrow. “What do you know about Officer Rafael Rodriguez?” I asked him.
He chuckled. “What makes you think that I know anything about that nigga?”
“I’m sure you’ve encountered him. He’s riding Angel’s ass and constantly warning me from Angel. Yesterday, he gave me his personal cell phone number and said, he’d check Angel for me.”
Rome leaned over as he burst into laughter. “Officer Rodriguez is a slightly crooked officer, who has a thing for younger black women. He despises men like Angel and me. We represent everything that he lost. A few years ago, he had him a woman and a child. This was when he was a straight edged officer. A few thugs got pissed that he locked up their homeboy, who ended up being murdered in the pen. So they went and took both of them captive. Then, murder them on camera and sent the bits and pieces along with the video to the Police Headquarters. Ever since then, he’s been jaded and willing to work to find out the killers of his woman and child. Can’t say that I blame him? I just despise him constantly fucking with me and my homes.”
I blinked rapidly. “That’s the issue with this whole lifestyle,” I snapped, suddenly. “You niggas can’t just keep your problems amongst each other. You just have to drag in family members, girlfriends, and children. Doesn’t make any damn sense. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking falling for smooth talking words that sounded well. I should’ve just packed up and left like I thought about doing years ago. The first time Angel indicated his interest I was planning to attend some far off university so that I’d be able to make a good escape away from everything.”
He chuckled once and then burst into laughter. “What stopped you?” he asked.
“Life,” I said, seriously, a small smile on my lips. “I found out that it doesn’t always go according to plan. I had to take on three jobs to keep up with bills. Pushed off the application here and there. Til the deadline passed one year and then another one passed. Until I told myself that I didn’t have to deal with him and I didn’t have time for college.”
He shook his head, before a smile came across. “I may not be on the best of terms with that nigga, but I can tell he’d have found a way to sabotage you going anyway.”
I sighed. “It wouldn’t have surprised me if he did. Shit, he won’t let me go anywhere, right now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I told him last night I was thinking about going across the country and he pretty said he’d drag me right back.”
Rome arched one eyebrow, before sitting on the edge of the bed. A serious express crossed his face. “You’ve been through enough, shortie. You know I’m here for you. That nigga’s already put you through so much, just by being associated with him. I’m sorry for the loss of your child. There’s nothing that can change that. I’ll give you time to think about it, but if you really want to leave, then I’ll be right there with you. We can go to the other end. There’s something I’ve been needing to do over there, anyway.”
I was shocked for a moment. Was Rome playing? Was he hitting on me or was this just him talking? I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that as much as I wasn’t sure about Rome and as much as I cared about Angel, I was a chicken shit and in the back of my mind the idea of escaping this environment and reality was tempting. Angel hadn’t realized how serious I was few nights ago. I was pissed, but I’d had time to think about it. If I left then things would cool down between Angel and me. I also knew that he’d be able to focus on extinguishing any enemies he had without worrying about me. Another part of me, also realized that Angel would deal with them and then track me down and make good on his promise to drag me back. Angel wouldn’t feel any remorse and I knew it.
“Are you serious, right now?” I asked him.
He nodded his head, before his hand covered mine gently. “Very serious. I never expected that you being with Angel would actually lead to you losing your child and in some senses so much of your innocence. If it was my sister, I’d drag her ass halfway across the world to get away. I know it may not seem like it to you, but I care. I don’t like seeing you here in this hospital injured and in pain.”
My eyes widened at his word. “I’ll let you know,” I told him, squeezing his hand slightly.
He smiled in return and leaned down pressing his lips against the corner of my mouth. I gave him a glance with one arched eyebrow, just as Angel stepped into the room followed by Officer Rodriguez. My natural reaction was to casually run my hands through my hair and look everywhere in the room, except Angel. I knew he was probably staring hard at Rome and glaring at him, while looking at me with possession to show who it was that I was supposed to belong to. Angel didn’t have to do shit to have my ass cowering and trying to put as much space as possible between myself and Rome.
“Ms. Moss,” Rodriguez greeted me. “How are you?”
I lifted my gaze and encountered an ocean of light brown eyes looking me over with concern and appreciation. I knew immediately that what Rome said held some truth. Raphael Rodriguez wanted me. He probably had since I was a teenager, but I didn’t think that he’d act on it. He hadn’t so far and he shouldn’t do so now. I glanced from him to Angel. He was watching Rome with a dark expression on his face.
“Keish,” Angel said, stepping past Rodriguez and to the bed. He immediately sat on the opposite end of the bed from where Rome was still seated. He looked from him and then to me. “We’ll be able to move you home soon. How are you feeling, mami?” He leaned forward pressing his lips to mine, before staring purposely at Rome and then Officer Rodriguez.
“I’m doing alright,” I responded, a small smile of amusement forming on my lips.
Officer Rodriguez probably had other reasons for his interest in me. I was learning rapidly that when something happened it was because of Angel and not me. I was actually beginning to see that in the overall picture I wasn’t even important. Maybe to Angel but not to his enemies. I was merely an obstacle or thing to be passed around for their pleasure in seeing Angel pay for their problems. There was no telling with Officer Rodriguez. He was supposed to be with the law, but he was crooked as Angel, Viktor and Rome had all stated. I couldn’t imagine if he was trying to take me to the highest bidder to see how much he could get for turning me over.
“You wouldn’t be alright or in this hospital if you watched your choice of company,” Rodriguez stated.
I arched an eyebrow. “Officer Rodriguez, I can make my own decisions, remember? I’m a grown woman now.”
He shook his head. “Not all females make smart decisions when it comes to their love lives. I’m certain you’ve heard about the infamous story of Nichole Amberson. She was a young black girl like yourself. Beautiful, wanted, and curious about thugs. She fell in love with one and the same man she fell in love with ended up being the reason she was found murder six months later. It was a message to her man. There’s also Nikki Rales, she was Puerto Rican and in love with a drug dealer, he was overly possessive and allowed his jealousy to lead him into murdering her. There’s a long list of women and you fall right into their category. The only difference is that you’ve managed to keep your life. I hope this has been a wake-up call for you. Angeles DeAngelo is a dangerous man. A wanted man by many. He has too many enemies to count.”
I arched my eyebrow just staring at him. Did he think I wasn’t aware of the type of situation that I was in? Did he think that I didn’t think about it every day? I beat myself up over, I doubted myself and blamed myself for things that I knew I had no control over. So for him to come here and think that his bullshit was going to make me think differently was an insult.
“Thank you for your words,” I said coldly, “but I think I can take it from here.”
Angel spoke moments later. “Keish can make her own decisions, Rodriguez. If I were you I’d get to stepping and backing the fuck back. She’s not interested in you.”
Officer Rodriguez cursed as he turned his back on both of us before leaving the room without so much as a last warning. I wasn’t sure what that could mean, but I was certain he was probably worried about my well-being and that was about it. I was ready to be done with all of this drama and do something normal for once. Thinking about what I had lost, what was to come and what could’ve been only stressed me more than before. I hated that everything was about safety. I wasn’t even twenty and I was living life sheltered and filtered. I’d never had a normal life before, but I knew that if I moved to the other end of the country, then I’d have that chance. I’d be able to put my high school diploma to use and attend college, even if school wasn’t exactly one of my favorite things to do.
I kept my thoughts to myself, knowing that if I brought this idea up to Angel again, then he’d be pissed. He would probably take preventive measures to make sure that I got the idea out of my head.
“Lakeisha Moss?” an older woman with beautiful pecan butter skin called out. Next to her stood a man who looked slightly older and was impressive in his appearance.
I turned my full attention to her, looking her over. She was extremely beautiful. Her eyes were a hazel brown that seemed to be accentuated by their almond shape, her full pink lips were curved into a small smile. Her rich black hair was cut into a short fashionable bob and showed signs of graying. I’d have placed her age from 45-55. If her eyes were brown and she was a few shades lighter, than she’d bare an uncanny resemblance to me. As I examined her, I noted that she returned my examination as if it were nothing to her. She watched me with familiarity in her eyes.
“Yes?” I said, finally speaking.
“I’m Veronica Moss and this is my husband, David. Emmanuel is our son.”
Her words brought back the memories of me visiting my dad in prison. A gasp escaped me as I thought about how concerned, he’d be. I knew that he was probably concerned, having heard through the grapevine about what had happened. He’d probably sent both of them here to check on my condition.
“You’re my grandparents,” I said quietly in awe of them.
My dad had described them as being gangster and more than capable of helping me and Angel solve our issues. The only thing about it was that the drama we’d previously had was over for the time being. Darius had been eliminated and it was something that I knew I was supposed to feel bad about, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel that way about it. He had tried to kill me and if Angel hadn’t taken away the privilege, then I’d have done it myself. As angry as I had been the actuality of whether I’d actually be able to do it or not had yet to be proven. Somehow, I knew that Angel had done what he done to protect me. He had killed Darius for me and I knew that he’d do it again without any remorse or regrets.
“Yes, sweetie, we are,” David responded. “We’re here to take over taking care of you and make sure that you’re enlightened to the game as it, so that something like this never happens again.”
Veronica turned her head to Angel and a stern expression crossed her face. “I’ve heard much about you, Angel,” she said her voice tense with aggression. “I know exactly what you’re capable of and what you’re dragging my grandbaby into. I want you to know that I don’t like it, I don’t approve and I won’t tolerate any kind of bullshit from you. You hurt my baby and I’ll make your life a living hell.”
My mouth opened and closed for a moment as did Angel’s. Rome was still seated on the bed and burst into laughter as he watched everything that was going. I turned my gaze onto him and shook my head, as did my grandmother. Her eyebrow’s arched and she looked him before glancing at me.
“And who hell are you?” she snapped. “Why are you sitting so close to my baby?”
A small smile formed on the edge of Angel’s mouth. He watched both of my grandparents with a look amusement and I immediately knew that he was tolerating them for my benefit. Angel wasn’t one to be questioned about his actions or ask for permission to do anything. He wouldn’t be able to keep that from them for too much longer and I knew it. He didn’t care about ideal threats or anything that my grandparents could come up. It was one of the reasons why he was so dangerous to my sense and everyone else.
Rome laughed before he responded. “Rome, I’m the man that’s going to come in and sweep Keish away from Angel,” he said with a wink.
I shook my head, before casually smacking his arm. “Stop playing,” I responded. “I don’t want you giving off the wrong impression.”
“Whoever said I was playing, Keish?” he asked. “If you’ll recall even when you were pregnant I told you that I wanted you. Your pregnancy was the only thing stopping me from pursuing you. Now, you’re not. As far as I’m concerned you’re fair game.”
I immediately scratched my scalp reading the tension that was in the air. Angel had tensed next to me and Rome had a smug expression on his face. As inappropriate as it was, I wanted to laugh at the situation. My grandparents were already in disapproval of Angel and I knew that Rome wouldn’t be any better, as a male whore who only wanted to fuck me, he’d be top priority on their list.
“Don’t lie,” Angel retorted coldly. “You only want to fuck Keish because she turned you down. You aren’t interested in her beyond that. It’s always a game to you. Well, let me enlighten you. This is a game you won’t win and that won’t end well for you. If you continue this blatant disrespect and continue to play mind games with Keish, then I’ll be the first to put a bullet in your head for fucking with my woman.”
I ducked my head slightly, kind of embarrassed at the drama that was unfolding in front of my grandparents. I didn’t know how they’d react or anything. I didn’t know anything about them, other than the fact that they seemed to want protect me from Angel and all other dangers.
Rome laughed loudly, before he looked Angel over with amusement. “I’ve told you before, nigga. I ain’t scared of you. I don’t give a fuck what you say. Keish is a grown ass woman and I’m a grown ass man, we’ll do whatever the fuck we want.”
“Guys—” I started to say, only to be interrupted by the graceful laugh that escaped my grandmother’s lips. I groaned slapping my forehead.
“As amusing as this is,” grandmother stated, “I don’t think that either of you understand what I’m hinting at. Keish is not going to be left in danger for either one of you. Angel you’ve proven that you can’t protect her. And you’re someone that I’ve never even heard of other than your admiration for her. I’m not leaving her with either of you. You want to see her, then you’ll come visit her because she’s moving in with us.”
My eyes widened and my mouth fell open at that. My grandparents lived on the West Coast of the United States. In California to be specific, while Georgia wasn’t as far away as Michigan it was still more than six states in between. It was the perfect escape from Angel, if that was what I really wanted. I was thinking a break might be great, but living under the ridged control of my grandparents, I didn’t know about that. I’d lived on my own for some years now and I didn’t need anyone trying to give me a curfew or anything like that.
Yet, the idea of getting to know my grandparents was appealing.
“Fuck no,” Angel burst out, anger deepening his voice. “Keish is staying with me. It’s something that we’ve already discussed. We’ve just lost our child and we have things we’re working through together.”
“I understand that, but there are things that she needs to know about this life, things that she needs to learn before becoming the woman of someone in this life. Before she gives up on a normal life, I want her to experience college and other men. She’s too young to be tied down to only you. A drug lord and someone who lives outside of the law without any intentions of ever retiring. I want to give her that experience and by God she’s going to have it, whether you agree to it or not. Keish is too young to fully understand the importance of this experience.”
I closed my eyes feeling a headache coming on as they continued arguing. The last words she uttered, completely pissed me off. I had been thinking of college and experiencing a normal life, it was something that I did indeed understand that importance of. None of them seemed to be understanding of that fact that I was old enough to make my own decisions, I had been doing so far a long time. I didn’t need Veronica, David, or Angel’s permission to live my life. I didn’t need anything from any of them. I wasn’t a toy or some item to be auctioned off or argued with. I was me and I couldn’t be molded into what any of them thought that I should be. Angel wanted me to have another child and thought that I should be ready for motherhood. Veronica thought that I should be ready to launch from this life straight to being an academic.
I wasn’t ready for any of that.
I hadn’t been to school in almost three years. I wasn’t ready for the responsibilities that came with motherhood. And maybe I was a coward, but I wasn’t ready to become vulnerable to people again. I didn’t want to meet new people and be forced to behave in a certain mannerism, as school would be expected of me. I wasn’t ready to become a cold blooded killer, either. I wasn’t ready to face the reality of losing emotion or the concept of everyone I knew being placed in danger because of me.
No, I wasn’t ready for that.
However, I was ready to move forward and just experience life without any labels. I was ready to go and figure out what the hell I wanted. Maybe it was a full circle, but it was one that I knew would keep me grounded and able to move forward. Angel was a dominant man and he knew how to take what he wanted. He knew a certain way of life and had lived that way for most of his life. However, that was his way of life. It was a life that my grandparents were used to. The three of them were deep in the game. Rome was as my dad had mentioned, able to walk away whenever he wanted. He could just disappear and never have to be a part of it again.
Angel couldn’t, nor could they.
Whether I’d stay or go, I couldn’t be certain.
I could be conscious in my decision to step back away from it all, though and live my life for a while. I had lost my child and lost a part of me. As much as Angel made me feel good and as much I may have loved him, I knew that I needed to go somewhere and figure out how to complete that part of me again. I needed to do what was best for me to make sure that I made moves to ensure that what we had wouldn’t be tested with time and/or ruined by the same exact thing.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Author’s Note:
It’s been a great pleasure writing this book, even though it took forever to finish it.
When I first started writing this book, I never intended for it to garner as much attention as it did. In fact, I never expected for anyone to notice it. It was random and supposed to be the start of a chapter for another book completely, but I found myself shaping and twisting things into something completely different than the intended chapter for another book. I found myself creating Keisha, Ambrianna, Angel, and many other characters. Throughout the span of this book, I’ve tried to give you all the life of Keish and the choices she has had to make. I’ve tried to show how the environment that a child is in can affect their well-being and how they are later in life. How you treat your children and what they see does shape them and their behaviors. Not every person is a great parent that can show reliability and trust for a child. Monica, Keish’s mother, is the perfect example of that. She allowed for the loss of her baby’s father to prison, Emmanuel, to be the start of her down trend and spiral into the world of addiction, men and drugs.
At the age of five Keish lost her dad to prison and her mother to drugs. Growing up with a drug addicted mother with all kinds of men coming to the house has shaped Keish in the sense that she enjoys independence and has a lack of trust in relationships. Moving in with Ambrianna was something that helped her, but Ambrianna wasn’t exactly the best mother figure either, as it’s revealed that she slept with men, not caring if Keish was in the house, she smoked quite often around her and drank. She also taught Keish to view life through shaded eyes. Although, Ambrianna wasn’t perfect, she was everything to Keish that her mother never was. So you can call her a terrible role model or anything, but she gave Keish a home and a life that wasn’t filled with drugs or neglect. She took care of her.
I also revealed throughout the book that although, someone may make you feel intensely through both lust and emotion, that it’s not always the best thing for you. Many of you fell in love with the Angel and Keish relationship. Angel being a man who knew what he wanted and patiently waited for it, while Keish was stubborn and lost in her own ways before opening her eyes. At the age of nineteen, she’s someone that hasn’t had an easy life and has kept shields up for most of her life against caring for people out of fear that they’ll betray her or let her down. Angel penetrating those guards wasn’t always the plan, but he managed to. He opened her eyes and helped her to start to feel comfortable with the concept of caring for someone else in a serious manner that wasn’t prevalent in her before. However, looking at the situation realistically. Angel isn’t someone that’s perfect Keish. He’s a dangerous enigma of a person. Associated with him is everything that’s negative about her environment, everything she’s always wanted to avoid: death, chaos, paranoia, violence, and the possibility of incrimination. Although, she may not be exactly everything in this world, she’s not a criminal, yet. She’s a confused older teen, still finding herself and exploring life.
Angel’s a fully mature man who’s set in his ways and hasn’t rally known any other life. His ways are something that could definitely lead to the death of Keish or her throwing her life down the drain. So know that the ending of this first book isn’t the end but only the beginning. She’s lost a child, an essential part of anyone once they come to acceptance of the life within them. No teenager really wants to be a mother, no young adult does, but it’s a responsibility that many take on and it shapes their lives forever. Keish’s grandparents don’t approve of any of this. Nor with the lifestyle that Angel would lead her into. Instead, they want her to go on and try to live life as a normal young woman with improving and bettering herself through obtaining an education and a degree. This is something that ideally everyone seems to want, a part of the American Dream; however, it’s not something that’s for everyone.
The story of Angel and Keish is one that hasn’t been easy, but has been made whole by all of you. All of your comments and support have done much to ensure that I find the strength to continue writing. So, I thank all of you for that. I want to let it be known that stopping the book right here isn’t the end but only the start of something different. Keish and Angel’s story will be continued in the next book, Down Chick 2, which will not be up for a while. I’m focusing on other books,that I’ve been neglecting for some time now.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this. Keish’s grandparents are now in the picture and aiming to take over her actions to help her experience life as well as to teach her. Keish’s father is still in prison and almost ready for release from prison on parole. Maria hasn’t had her child, yet. Nor will she disappear from the second story. Perhaps, in the near or far future there will be a novel for Maria and Viktor. I know a lot of you disagree with a lot of the decisions that Keish has made throughout this book. Some of you have a strong like of Angel, a hatred for Rome, and a love/hate like of Tio.
Any questions you have or confusions, I will be more than happy to answer for you. If there’s something that you thought was missing from this book that you think could be done to improve or be in the next book, feel free to comment. However, it doesn’t guarantee that it will happen. I take all suggestions and comments kindly for the most part.
Thank you again!
Love,
Leis.