The limo pulls up in front of the building and instantly I notice a bunch of paparazzi standing from the bottom of the stairs and all the way to the door. They are stopped behind some rails and bodyguards pushing some of them back behind the railing. Landon's hand squeezes my thigh drawing my attention back to him, "Just hold onto my hand and smile, it will be over before you know it," he gives me a reassuring smile, but I can't stop my palms from sweating and my leg bouncing up and down.
"Landon I can't," I whisper not evening realising the words left my lips, "I don't do well with flashing lights," I never have, not since my mother's death.
••••••
I hold onto dad's hand as we walk down the hospital hall my eyes blink pushing more tears down my face. I see us growing closer to the hospital door, "For god sake," dad mumbles under his breath as some flashing lights come from the hospital glass door.
I notice some policeman waiting for us by the door as dad pulls the blanket over Harper's head covering him from the flashing lights. The policewoman standing next to me while dad talks to the other police officer about what's about to happen. Dad turns to me and the police lady and nods his head as the police lady swoops me up in her arms placing me on her hip and takes off her cap putting it into my small head covering my face.
"You'll be okay sweetheart this is just until we get you safely in your car," the woman rubs my back making my body relax a bit, but my mind was screaming at me it was crying and shaking while my physical form remained frozen.
I hear the sliding doors open up instantly hitting my ears with the clicking sound of cameras and random people screaming questions at us. I lift the cap up a bit seeing all these random people I have never since shoving microphones in front of dad causing the other police officer to push the microphones away and push dad to walk a bit faster.
I feel my heartbeat increase seeing all these people nosing around in our business. I find myself sobbing into the shoulder of the police lady as she continues to carry me towards the car. As we grew closer there were hospital securities guards and some more police officers waiting for us at the car park. They quickly let us slip through before blocking off the paparazzi cashing after us.
We finally made it to the car and quickly got settled in before speeding off leaving the police to deal with the paparazzi.
••••••
That day was horrible for me I was only seven years old and my brother only being a couple of days old and had these noisy people shoving their cameras and microphones in our faces not respecting that we just lost our mother. Dad lost the love of his life, his everything, and these heartless people crowded the hospital just to get information on what happened how sick is that.
I feel a warm presence cup my face pulling me out of that horrible day, "Charlie-Rose you can do this I promise you," he places a soft kiss on my nose as his thumb brushes over my cheeks, "If you can't handle it put your head on my shoulder and I'll give you my suit jacket to cover your face with," another kiss gets placed on my nose, "You're not alone I'll be right there with you holding your hand the whole way into the building," I nod at his words.
"Okay, I believe you," my words come out as a whisper.
Landon nods and takes hold of my hand as the door opens letting us step out of the limo. Instantly the cameras start flashing and the questions pour out them, but he doesn't stop his face remains emotionless and his body remains tense as he drags me up the stairs. The closer we get to the door the more desperate people become trying to get our attention, "Is Landon for once bringing one of his hookups to an event," one of them shouts making him growl under his breath.
A high pitch squeal leaves my mouth as I get tugged back by one of the paparazzi, "Landon," I shout as my hand breaks away from his making him turn around.
A ringing sound greets my ears as Landon takes off his suit jacket and grabs me from one of the security guards and places his jacket around my head protecting me from the flashing cameras.
"Fuck I'm sorry Charlie-Rose," he mumbles an apology as we finally slip inside the doors to a quieter peaceful aurora, "Are you okay," Landon ignores everyone else and focuses on me.
I take a deep breath and rest my shaking hands on my thighs, "I'm fine just a bit shaken up," his arms wrap around my waist pulling me into his hard chest.
"I'm so sorry they're normally not like this but knowing how noisy these paparazzi's are and plus it's the first time I've brought someone to an event it's an even bigger deal for them," he slowly rocks side to side which is calming very nicely.
"It's fine, it just brought up some tuff memories," I mumble to myself.
Landon holds me in his embrace for a few more minutes when a lady who is a bit older than me comes up to us breaking us apart, "Landon," she greets giving him a tight hug causing a sick feeling to erupt in my stomach.
"Cheryl," he hugs her back, "How are you?" he asks.
"I'm good," she smiles at him before turning around to me, "And you must be the famous Charlotte-Rose, I'm Cheryl Heart, Christopher's wife," she pulls me into her petite body.
"So, you're Lyon's mum?" my cheeks flush with embarrassment realising she is Landon's in-law.
"Yes, I am," we exchange kisses on the cheek.
"It's very nice to meet you," I scan my eyes up and down her body and notice her little bump, "Congratulation by the way".
"Oh, thank you Charlotte-Rose," she rubs her hand over her little bump, "I'm sure Lyon has told you how much he wants it to be a girl," we both giggle and I shake my head.
"You can call me Charlie-Rose by the way," I've just met this woman, but I feel like I've known her for years.
"Charlie-Rose is such a beautiful name, your mother is very good at picking names," my throat dries up at the mention of her, "I would guess she is as beautiful as you," I glance over at Landon who notice me growing uncomfortable.
"She was," I give a tight smile, "She was as gorgeous as me, I would even say she was prettier," I confess, "I got my clear skin and strawberry blonde hair from her," Cheryl feature's drop as she picks up, I'm talking in the past tense.
I see tears prick her eyes, "Oh god," she mumbles as a tear falls down her face, "Jesus Christ stupid pregnancy hormones," she gently wipes under her eyes capturing the tear on her finger before wiping them away on her dress, "I notice you were talking about your mother in past tense and I put two and two together, I'm sorry for your loss Charlie-Rose," she gives my hand a squeeze.
I feel my lip quiver and tears prick my eyes, "Crap you're going to get me started," we both let out sad laughs, "No but it's alright, it's still hard some days but then I always think about the happy memories I had before she passed and that makes me smile," she nods her head in agreement.
"Always think about what you had and not what you lost," I smile at her.
I feel an arm snake around my waist pulling me to the side of a body, "Are you okay?" a familiar deep voice asks lace with concern.
I nod and bite my lip, "I'm alright," I glance up at him as he nods.
"Cheryl baby there you are I've been looking for you everywhere," comes another familiar voice I haven't heard in a bit.
"Sweetheart I'm sorry for running off but I saw Landon and Charlie-Rose and I had to come and introduce myself to this very pretty lady," I watch as Christopher spins her around and crashes his lips onto hers.
I can't help but smile at how cute they look together even though they're in their thirties their passion and love is still as young as ever. I also get hit with a bit of jealousy, envying what she has and how in love they are with each other. I want it and there is only one person I'm craving it from, but he will not give me the love they have which breaks another bit of my heart.
They finally pull apart after Landon clears his throat causing Cheryl to blush and hide her head in Christopher's chest while he just smiles like he is on top of the world. Christopher walks up to me taking my right hand and spinning me around, "Wow, Charlie-Rose this is an amazing dress," I giggle as my dress floats around me as I slowly come to a stop, "Did you make these?" he asks, and I nod biting my lip.
"Yes, and I made his suit," I point at Landon.
"You have such amazing talent," he compliments me.
"Thank you, Christopher," I thank him as we go in for a quick hug.
He looks over my shoulder to Landon who is standing behind me, "Landon," he smiles then looks at me then winks back at Landon. I scrunch my eyebrows together and turn to face Landon.
He just shrugs and walks over to his brother giving him a handshake before mumbling something in his ear causing Christopher to roll his eyes, "Cut the bullshit Landon," he grumbles as Landon scoffs.
"Christopher if you don't believe me ask her yourself, she will tell you the same thing I told you," are they talking about me?
A sick feeling washes over me. Why are they talking about me? My breathing becomes ragged. What have I done? My chest tightens. What would I say that is the same as Landon's answer? I find myself slowly backing away from them.
"Charlie-Rose?" Christopher notices me causing all of them to look at me as I continue to back away.
"Sweetie are you okay?" Cheryl takes a few steps closers.
I shake my head and put my arms out indicating for her to stop, "Don't touch me please," I mumble before turning on my heel and dashing down the hall.
"Charlie-Rose," Landon calls out rushing after me. My breathing is short and sharp causing me to wince every breath I take as I continue to give off a slow jog in heels, "Charlie-Rose," he finally catches up grasping my arms and pushing up against a wall, "Jesus," he breaths out as I struggle in his hold, "Stop," he growls causing my body to freeze.
"Landon let me go please," I look down at our shoes.
Two fingers curl under my chin forcing my head up to look at him, "No talk to me what just happened back there?" he asks his voice lace with concern.
"Were you talking about me?" I question.
He scrunches his eyebrows together, "What?".
"Were you and Christopher talking about me back there?" I repeat my question.
His chest raises and his lips part as the answer is on the tip of his tongue but doesn't want to spill out, "Charlie-Rose," he mumbles
"Landon it's a simple question yes or no" I feel heat ring up my body.
"Sometimes the simple questions are the hardest questions to answer," I scoff and roll my eyes, "But yes we were," my heart stings causing me to wince. He saw my reaction, "It wasn't anything bad just my brother trying to say we're more than we are," my heart plummets into my lower stomach.
"What do mean trying to make us more than we are?" I ask, "What even are we," I mumble under my breath.
A sigh leaves his lips as he rests his head on mine, "He trying to make us a couple, but I told him we are nothing more than fuck buddies and he didn't believe me, so I told him to ask you," my jaw clenches as those two cursed words leave his lips "Fuck buddies".
"Right," I mumble, "Fuck buddies that's all we are," I pull away from Landon as tears threaten to spill, "We should probably get back to them," I state before walking back down the hall wiping a few getaway tears.
I look around the main part of the room to find them sitting at a table talking to some other couple. I decide not to interrupt and head straight for the bar. I need some liquid courage to get through the rest of the night. I take a seat on an empty stool and order a glass of neat whiskey. I'm not a whiskey type of girl but I need something really strong. I take a few sips of the whiskey before chugging the rest of it in seconds.
"Wow, normally you're meant to drink whiskey in small sips," I jump at the voice.
I turn around to see Asher standing behind me with his own whiskey in his head, "Yeah well I need some courage if I'm to make it through the night," I turn back around and order another glass.
"Something's off, do you want to talk about?" he asks as he takes the seat next to me.
I let out a dry laugh as the bartender places another glass in front of me. I chug half of the drink in seconds before placing it back down as Asher watches me, "Dr. Field I didn't realise this was a therapy session," I chug the rest of my drink.
He sighs as he stops me from ordering another drink, "I'm not here as your therapist I'm here as your friend Charlie-Rose," he gives a sad smile before turning to the bartender and ordering a glass of water, "And we both know having strong alcohol in your system isn't the answer to your problems nor will it help with them," he right but at this point, I don't care. My heart belongs to a guy who wants nothing more than my body and I hate it, I hate how my body alights at his touch. How I lean into him when he cups my face or how deeply we look into each other's eyes. I hate how selfish he is being and how much he's torturing me.
"Wanna dance?" I ask as a slow song starts to play and some couples head to the dance floor swaying with their partners.
"Shouldn't you be doing that with Landon?" his eyebrows raise as I jump off my seat.
"Nope," I pop my "P" before extending out my hand, "We're just fuck buddies," Asher laughs a bit before taking my hand and leading me to the dance floor. I can feel the alcohol running through my body.
Asher pulls me into his body and his arms snake around my waist closing any remaining gap between us. I fling my arms around his muscular shoulders and rest my head on his chest as we slowly sway to the song just enjoying the silence.
My body shivers as I feel a pair of eyes glaring at us. I turn my head to see Landon glaring at us like a jealous boyfriend. I scoff and roll my eyes before looking up at Asher to find him staring at me, "You look beautiful tonight," he whispers, "Absolutely stunning in that dress," he grabs my hand and spins me around like Christopher did earlier before pulling me back into his chest, "You did a good job," he lips grace my cheek, "It's so finely made," his hands run down my back.
"Mind if I jump in?" comes a very agitated voice.
We both turn to see Landon standing next to us glaring at Asher, "Yes we do mind," I state bringing his attention to me.
"Really?" his eyebrows raise as he turns to Asher, "Do you really mind if I jump in and dance with my girl,"
Asher tenses up at the words my girl before letting me go and letting Landon swoop in and take me in his arms. He rests his hands just above my ass and pulls me into his chest making sure there is no space between us. I sigh and rest my head against his chest as we sway to the rest of the song in silence.
"You told me you would cut all contact with him off," he mumbles in my ear with a hint of sadness in his tone, "You promised me," my heart tightens at his mention of the promise.
I haven't told Landon that he's my therapist, I just don't want him to judge me, "I did cut him out of my life in that way Landon," his eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.
"What do you "in that way"?" he questions.
I take a deep breath and lean myself on my tiptoes so no one could hear us, "I promise you Landon I don't talk to him I have cut him out," I chickened out on telling him the truth about me going to therapy.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm seeing someone about my past and how it gives me some temporary release from my stress and from the voices, the hallucinations. It clears my mind for a few hours letting me feel like my old self before everything happened just for a few hours and it's nice, but it's my secret something I refuse to talk about because of the fear of being judged. The fear of people thinking I'm unstable.
"Okay I believe, but I know you're hiding something from me," I gulp and force my stare to the top of his head refusing to look at his eyes, "You know I will find out Charlie-Rose you can't hide anything from me," he puts a finger on the top of my chin and pushes my chin down to meet his stare, "I want to find out everything about you... no, I need to find out everything about you," shivers run down my spine as a gasp leaves my lips at his words.
"Why do you need to know everything about me?" I whisper my lips still parted.
"Because I love solving mysteries," my face drops and my heart shatters a little more.
I'm just a mystery for him to solve. I'm just a fucking game to him. His pure entertainment. I push away from his breaking our sway walking off the dance floor wiping away a few escape tears. I hear call my name but the girl from lunch the other week comes up and flings her arms around his shoulder making him sway with her. Another bit of my heart shatters taking a glance at her head resting against his chest as they slowly sway to the song with the other couples.
I walk up to the table with Cheryl and Christopher and place myself down next to Cheryl biting back my sobs. Cheryl glances over at me from the corner of her eye and instantly her mood saddens, "Are you okay, dear?" I fist my dress at those three hatred words.
My lip quivers as I hold my breath trying not to cry but failing miserably when a small sob escapes my lip, "Charlie-Rose?" Christopher calls from next to Cheryl after hearing the small sob come about of me.
Cheryl's soft, thin, bony hand gives my sweaty tensed hand a squeeze loosening my fist. This night was meant to be perfect it was meant to be a night where I felt like something more to Landon just for a night, but everything has gone to shit and all I want to do is crawl under my sheets and cry until I pass out.
"Dear how about we go for a bathroom break?" Christopher nods as Cheryl stands up still holding my hand.
I glance up at her catching a very familiar sapphire suit walking in our direction. I shoot up from my seat and dash down the hall with Cheryl escaping seeing him.
She pushes the bathroom door open, and we both enter. Jesus fucking Christ. I look around the white and beige coloured bathroom. Of course, it's cleaner than my whole apartment, "Who let a bathroom be this clean?" I scoff running my fingers along the polished silver taps.
Cheryl chuckles as she closes one of the bathroom stalls, "The joys of being rich and having maids to polish every inch of this bathroom before the guested arrived," I give a dry laugh, "Oh shit," I hear a thud in her bathroom stall causing my heart to sink.
"Cheryl my god, are you okay?" I knock on the stall.
"No, I've slipped over Jesus," I hear a click of the bathroom stall letting me swing the door open to see her laying on the floor her leg falling back down to the ground. Did she open the door with her foot? Her body is stuck between the toilet, and she looks a bit in pain.
"Is your back sore?" I ask taking her hand and slowly lifting her up from the ground.
Cheryl brushes her dress off and grumbles a line of curse words under her breath, "It's fine I'll be fine it's not the first time I've fallen over this goddamn week," I can feel her frustration, "I hate having to go pee in a long grown and heels while being pregnant I lose all sense of balance when I stand up," I give her a tight smile.
"Here let me help you with your dress?" I offer and she nods standing back over near the toilet.
"Well, this a good way to test how long our friendship will last," a bark of laughter leaves my mouth.
"Hey, I gain a friendship and bragging rights after this," Cheryl's body vibrates as a sweet melody of laughter leaves her soft pink lips.
I gather the bottom of her dress off the floor and hold in my hand as she slides down her panties and slowly sits herself on the toilet seat, "The joys of being pregnant and having to pee every fricking hour and it just gets worst as the months go on," she grabs a handful of toilet paper and quickly wipes herself before going to stand up but I quickly stand in front of her offering my aid, "Thank you, dear, you're so sweet helping me," I help her fix up her panties and her dress before we both give our hands a good clean.
"Well, now it's time to go brag to your husband I got a little show from you," I wink at her causing a burst of laughter to fill the bathroom.
Cheryl and I take deep breaths trying to calm ourselves back down, "My god I haven't laughed like that in a while," she pulls me in for a hug, "All the women here are fake and filled with Botox," I give a small chuckle at her comment, "We should head back so you can brag to my husband and maybe you'll score me a good bang tonight," I blush at her words.
"I-" I pause not having any words.
"Sweetie I'm kidding... well only a little bit," I giggle as I open the door walking out of the bathroom while rolling my eyes, "What I'm pregnant and horny leave me alone," she gives me a slap on my shoulder.
"Hey," I put my hands up as if I'm surrendering, "I'm not judging you, I'm going to help you "score a good bang tonight"," I wink at her as I repeat her words causing her to blush.
She groans and rubs her hands over her face, "I didn't say that did I?" she bits her lip as we grow closers to the end of the hall.
"Oh, you did," I lean down and place a kiss on her cheek right as we walk out from the hall and back to our table.
I see Landon sitting next to Christopher with a glass of whiskey in his hand. You know what I'm just going to forget about what he said and let it be a tomorrow Charlie-Rose's problem. I walk over to him and stop right in front of him crossing my arms over my chest. The two glasses of whiskey are still flowing in my system which is probably the reason for my unstable emotions right now.
Landon looks up at me as Christopher goes to shuffle over to the next seat, but I stop him, "No need to move Christopher," the brothers furrow their eyebrows in confusion as does Cheryl.
I notice little miss bitch start to make her way over to our table which is just perfect timing. I spin myself around and park myself right onto Landon's lap causing him to tense up as the sudden movement and for her to freeze in her path, "I already have a seat," I wink at Christopher and start wiggling a bit on his lap making him let out a low growl only loud enough for me to hear.
I feel him harden underneath me causing me to smirk, "Stop it," he hisses in my ear.
"Stop what?" I raise my voice a bit pulling in Christopher and Cheryl's attention. Landon groans as I bat my eyes at him innocently, "Baby what's wrong you look a bit frustrated," I don't even register my words causing all four of us to pause.
Cheryl slaps Christopher on the shoulder multiple times with the biggest smile on her face, "Well Then," he flashes a smirk to Landon which makes him scoff.
I need to change the subject right now because Jesus that was embarrassing, "Oh!" I burst out causing Landon to grab my hips and stop me from moving.
"Charlie-Rose my lord," Christopher rests his hand on his chest, "A warning next time would be nice," he gives me a small glare.
"Sorry, but I just remember I have to brag about something to you," I look over and wink at Cheryl causing her to blush.
Christopher looks next to him and raises an eyebrow, "Oh please do tell and I'll see if I can beat it," he turns towards me giving him full attention and crossing his right leg over his left leg.
"Oh, there's no way you can beat what happened in the bathroom," I lower my voice and wriggle my eyebrows making Cheryl huff and roll her eyes, "Let me just say you're a lucky man Christ," I lean forward and tap his knee then wiggle myself back onto his lap bring out another growl from Landon.
Christopher nods, "I know I'm a lucky man," I smile at how Cheryl is as red as a cherry right now.
"She's got some good moves, Christopher, like damn her moves, even knocked her off her feet," I bite back my laughter.
"Oh god," Cheryl groans hiding her face behind Christopher's back.
Christ chuckles, 'How did her own moves knock her off her feet?" I feel Landon's chest vibrate against my back.
"They just did man like if I had her moves, I would have been knocked off my feet as well," Cheryl hits her head against Christ's back.
"God save me," she pleads, "Just let this seat swallow me whole," I snicker at her embarrassment.
"Like I mean Christ if you want to see the moves, she showed me in the bathroom you should give her "a good bang" tonight," I quote Cheryl's words for early making her let out a shriek.
"A good bang?" he turns back to his wife, "A good bang huh," she hides her face in her small hands.
"Yep, you should give your wife a good bang," I wriggle my eyebrows.
Christopher pulls her small hands away from her face and ever so smoothly lifts her up placing her on his lap, "Aw how cute are they," I snap my head to the empty chair next to us to see Harley still in the awful state but this time there's blood coming out of her right eye, "Don't you wish Landon, and you were like that?" she asks causing me to shudder.
God what happened to her eye? I feel myself pity the state of Harley. She may have not been a good friend to Kayla and me, but she did not deserve this. She didn't deserve to die at all, and Kayla and I practically gave him everything he needed to murder her.
"Sweetheart you good?" his concerned voice pulls me away from Harley bringing me back to reality.
"Yeah, sorry I zoned out for a bit, but where was I?" I get a glimpse back at the chair to see her gone letting me relax a bit.
"Cheryl was telling me to ask you for what actually happened in the bathroom," I smile and nod my head.
"Well, what happened was I was admiring the bathroom while your wife went into the stall and next thing, I know I hear a thud causing me to panic I rush over to the door and knock asking if she okay," Christopher checks on his wife who is still on his lap while Landon laughs, "And she said no and told me she slipped and unlocked the door with her foot!" I make a big point on how she unlocks the bathroom stall door with her foot.
"Sweetie I'll teach you how to do it if you want," Cheryl winks.
I glare at her and shake my head, "No I don't want you watching me struggle," I make my voice whiny, "And plus," I change my tone again, "You're trying to change the subject," I point my finger at her.
"Honey please me changing the subject pfft what never," she smirks at me and bats her eyelashes at me.
"Yeah, sure whatever," I flip her off before continuing, "So anyway she was stuck I helped her up then I held her dress up for her while she went to the bathroom, then I helped her stand up and put her panties back on. Nothing big," I shrug it off while Landon and Christopher stare at us with wide eyes.
"You girls just met and you've already-," Landon doesn't finish his sentence.
Cheryl and I giggle at the boy's face before Christopher clear his throat, "Well it has been a lovely night but I think me and my wife should get home so I can give her a good bang," we all burst out into laughter as we all stand and say our goodbyes.
"We should head off too," Landon says, and I nod.
It's been a long night and I'm ready for some good rest and then tomorrow I will put my head into work and put some distance between me and Landon. Then once my feelings for him piss off we will go back to being fuck buddies.