STEF POV
"Yaya?" I hear my granddaughter say as I look up from my book glancing at her. As usual we are spending our night reading together on our living room couch as she has her feet in my lap and I smile softly at her.
"Mm babe?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"You can ask my anything. You know that love." I say as she puts her book down on the coffee table and sits up. I do the same realizing it is something serious as I take my reading glasses off moving closer to her. "What's on your mind baby? Mm?" Her giant eyes look into mine for Baby Stef was always a straight shooter no matter what and had no problem saying what was on her mind and I knew it could be anything especially based on what had been going on the last few weeks.
During the last few years, and especially the last few months she had been asking Lena and I questions that we didn't feel were our place to answer. The both of us always felt Callie should tell her where she came from, who her father was, but right now it was looking as if Callie might not ever be able to do that and Lena and I weren't sure how much longer it was fair to let Baby Stef wait. We already had to talk to her years ago about sex, her period and array of other topics that I wanted to leave for Callie but time was no on our side in terms of that. And Roxy was right, in the fact that if we didn't tell her she would go looking for it from somewhere else.
"When you were in prison, well, how old was my Mom. I can't remember sometimes."
"It's ok you have every right to ask about your Mom baby, but she was seventeen love." I answer as she begins to play with her fingers as I can see the gears working in her head.
"She was different then?"
"She was quiet, and very sweet. Very soft spoken and she had a beautiful singing voice. Much like yours." I smile as the memory of when Callie first sang to me is like a knife in my heart as Baby Stef's eyes never leave my face.
"Yaya?"
"Mm?"
"Would you still help her, if you knew what was going to happen?"
"What do you mean babe? Mm?" I ask hearing Lena walk into the room and take a seat on one of the chairs for I knew she must have heard our conversation from the kitchen.
"Well, she was different right? Was she nice?"
"She was very sweet love. Yes, and she was very excited but nervous to have you. But, she was very excited at the same time. The only thing she was nervous about was who you were going to live with."
"Well, I remember her telling em she wanted me to live in a prison program and that you were helping her get into it. But that it was hard, really hard to get into so I lived with Nana Ross daughter."
"Yes, you did. And she brought when you were well enough to visit and be around people. You were in the hosptial for a bit when you were born, you were born a little early, but you were strong. Very strong, just you wanted to come early." I smile as she returns it. "And we all prayed very hard for you sweets, and we prayed for your Mama and she was ok too." I play with her long brown hair as she looks at Lena who moves to sit beside her.
"You were beautiful and amazing. And we loved you." Lena says as Baby Stef smiles and looks back at me.
"Yaya?"
"Yeah love?"
"If you knew she was going to be sick, if you knew she was going to be sick, and start to act like this to us, and be really awful to you and Nana had you still helped her?" Her voice is honest, as I glance into Lena's eyes as her face grows sad. I was hoping to god this little girl didn't hear me say I wish I never met Callie. Fuck.
"I would have yes love."
"Why?" She asks confused as I move even closer to her as does Lena who rubs her hand.
"Sweets, your Mama didn't know she was pregnant when she came to Chow. She had no idea and she was very, sick. So, I was able get a doctor to see her when she told her she was pregnant. And, knowing that, and knowing how kind and sweet Callie was, there was no way I could let something happen to her. Even if right now is hard, and it's been hard for a few years I'd still help her love because I loved my relationship with her. She as very special to me, and still is. She was very, very important to me, much like you are. So, I'd do it again my girl. In a heart beat especially knowing what a special little girl you would be to me." I feel tears form in my eyes as she holds my hand tighter.
"Stefanie Marie, I can't imagine not having you here, or not knowing you. It's not everyday you have a small little version of yourself running around." I laugh as she does as well along with Lena. "Me helping your Mom resulted in many things that would not have happened. Andrew, use adopting Ali, you growing up here and making me nuts. Regardless of how hard right now is or was or will continue to be I wouldn't change my decision. And all families have something no one is perfect."
"I can't imagine not knowing you either. Like, what would my name be. It's weird and bizarre."
"It is, and I might never have been Yaya." I laugh as er face looks surprised.
"Right, because you wouldn't know me and Frankie would not have been able to tell me that name."
"Yup. So you see why I would do it again. You, made me who I am today. You, my girl. I was someone else when I was in prison, I wasn't always nice, and yes I had Frankie, and Jude and Noah but you brought something esle out in me. You always have, and you are my life. You are my lifeline love, all of you are. You, helped me when I couldn't remeber a thing. Not even my middle name sometimes. You know that?"
"Yes." She nods as I am full blown fucking crying as I look up seeing Lena is wiping her tears.
"So, I needed you, and man do I love you."
"I love you too." She hugs me hard as I hold her so close feeling hug her from behind. My eyes look into Lena's as I mouth I love you to her and she does the same. Feeling Baby Stef pull apart I smile at her and kiss her forehead as she turns to look at Lena.
"Would you Nana? Would you do it all over again too?" Her voice is so innocent as I look at Lena who kisses our granddaughters forehead smiling her widest.
"You never have to ask me that sweetheart. I'd everything all over again to be here right now siting here with you."
"But, what if I turn into that. What if I get Bipolar and I start acting like that. What if and then I'm mean to you. What if then?" This question, every time she asked it killed both Lena as I as I continue to let my wife take over.
"If that does, if anything like that does, which its a very, very, very slim chance, Yaya and I will NEVER, ever, ever give up on you. Never in our life and we haven't given up on Callie either. We will still do everything in our power to help her baby so that one day she will get better. Ok?"
"I love you both so much. I love you both more then anything and I know you are my Nana and Yaya but, Mama Lion you are my Mama and Yaya so are you. You always have been, you just have." She starts to cry even more now as Lena and I both hug her harder then before. It was tough, the entire thing is but we have to be strong for this little girl, every step of the way.
"We love you babygirl. We love you more then life." I whisper to her as my tears continue to fall and I rest my head on top of hers.
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LENA POV
"I just never want Callie to feel we took over even more, Lena. I mean she has already lost it and I was always VERY insistent on Baby Stef knowing that Callie is her Mom. Always, and that you and I are her grandmothers."
"I know honey." I say to my wife as we wait in the lawyers office in terms of finding out our options about Callie's baby. We just wanted to be prepared for everything and were finding out as much information as we could right now. We knew we had some rights being the babies legal grandparents in term of custody but there were so many unknowns. "The issue is not that she never stopped living with us she just, well, she's very close to you. And she feels safe with the both of us and Callie's illness came at a time when baby Stef was young. She never got to bond with Callie from a certain age on."
"But we can't let her call us Mom and Mama."
"I know, but it slips sometimes. She has called me Mams Lion at times. Honey, I know how you felt when Frankie called Judy Mom in jail. I know, but Baby Stef knows Callie is her mother but it's, it's complicated for her. Point is we can't worry about that right now because Baby Stef may never feel like Callie is her mother and that is not our fault baby. It isn't. I know it may feel like it but it is not. You did everything and we did everything we could and now it's up to Callie to get better and form a relationship with Baby Stef."
"I know you right right Len. I know." She says as I grab her hand.
"You Stefanie Marie, are not responsible for everyone and everything. Especially once our kids become a certain age. So lets focus on this right now ok baby? And see what our options are." I rub her cheek as she looks at me smiling.
"You are the only one Lena, I swear it."
"I know and I got you babylove. I got you." I wink at her as I continue to rub her cheek again as we hear our lawyer enter the room. This wasn't and would not be easy by any means for the last thing we wanted to do was take another kid away from Callie. But what choice did we have.
"Nice to see you both again." Wilson says as we stand and shake his hand. Of course he had aged since we had seen him last which was when he helped us get out of jail and when we saw his name on the list of lawyers we instantly picked him. "And you both look so well."
"Thank you Wilson. Nice seeing you two." I say.
"Nice seeing you Wilson." Stef says as we all take a seat and he pulls the file out.
"I'm glad you ladies reached out to me but I have to admit this is rather hard. I hope Callie is able to get some help."
"We are too, but we, this baby is in trouble if she doesn't." I say squeezing Stef's hand. "And we just want to know what our options are."
"Of course. I read over everything, and you have full custody of your granddaughter, Stefanie Marie Adams Foster."
"Yes, yes we do." I nod my head. "We just don't know what will happen if Callie has this baby and takes them home and continues drugs. She's not well mentally either."
"Well, if and when she gives birth it will most likely be early. If the hospital sees that shes high they will take that baby instantly and put it in foster care. It will be a ward of the state. But, you can file for full custody, especially since you already have custody of her other daughter. If Callie is high or anything they are going to lock her up."
"We understand, we just want to keep this baby out of foster care and make sure her or she end sup with us."
"Of course. Who;s the father?"
"Your guess is as good as ours." Stef jokes shaking her head as I look at Wilson is seems rather concerned. "She's with some guy now but we have no fucking idea if he's the father or not."
"Ok, well he has to be unfit as well or the baby can go to him if he is fit and if he is infact the child's father. Especially if he has his own residence where Callie does not live."
"He's not fit. He's a fuckin junkie whoever the fuck he is!" Stef yells as I squeeze her hand. "This baby shouldn't be anywhere near Callie or whoever the fuck she is with. Do you not get that!"
"Baby, it's ok." Lena soothes as I let out a heavy sigh.
"I'm sorry my frustration is not at you Wilson."
"I know Stef, and I know how hard this is. Listen, when Callie gives birth and is deemed unfit you can get temporary custody. and Eventually full custody, and even if she puts that guys name down on the birth certificate considering her past behavior, if he tries to say the kid is his we will get proof.
"Why is this shit so fucking complicated." Stef says as I squeeze her hand again.
"I know it's not always easy."
"Wilson, one time well when Callie sick a few years ago she filed a restraining order against my wife and I. We couldn't see baby Stef or Andrew. I mean could she do that again?"
"She could try but I don't think it would have any merit. Because you already have custody of her oldest kid, it would hard. Especially if Stefanie is making progress and doing well. Calllie may try to say you are unfit and it can get nasty. I've seen things like this get violent too. Family court and anything to do with this is the worst."
"We know." I say as I look at my wife who glances back at me.
"Wilson, Lena and I will do whatever the fuck we need for this baby, especially if Callie continues to refuse to get help. We know what can happen, we know and we are prepared for the worst. So, will you fucking help us?" She says as I look at Wilson who closes the file.
"Yes, yes I will help you."