Author Note:
So in this chapter I will try to explore Naruto's thought about what happened before Momoshiki attacked Konoha.
I believe a person like Naruto who holds bond seriously would someway affected by Boruto's angry words and guilt from his mistake with the cake.
Curious? Well, what are you waiting for? Onto the chapter!
Declaimer: All characters in Naruto and Boruto series belong to Masashi Kishimoto and Ukyo Kodachi respectively.
This chapter is not beta'd.
Enjoy!
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Naruto watched his children chattering happily to each other while Hinata took out the dishes from the lunch basket. They were currently having lunch in his hospital room, a small table was brought from the lobby to put the dishes that Hinata cooked from home.
Sakura was satisfied with his progress as he managed to stay up longer than a few minutes, and allowed the Uzumakis to have a small lunch in his hospital room per Himawari's request to eat with her father, as long as they didn't tire him out. For the past four days, Hinata and the kids been back and forth from home to the hospital to visit him, since the hospital only allowed short visits as he got tired pretty easily so it's been a while since he got to eat with his family.
Hinata handed him a small bowl of rice porridge which he stared with his stomach flipped uncomfortably, at least Hinata's porridge was more delicious than the hospital's. The hospital food were bland as usual, not that it helped with his lack of appetite. He overheard Sakura expressed her concern to Hinata that she noticed how he lose much weight for the past few days even before the attack happened, probably that's the reason why Sakura suggested the lunch in disguise of Himawari's request.
After an 'Itadakimasu!' they began to eat, still chatting to each other, Naruto took a bite of his porridge as he silently listened to his family.
"- she had a big cake, same as mine! It tasted so good, probably like mine too!"
Probably?
Ah, yes... Himawari was talking about her birthday, which he ruined. He dropped her cake and left his family in disappointment. He suddenly remembered his son's words.
"More importantly, as a father, today's an important day… you know what I mean, right? If you even forget about my little sister's birthday, then I'm not going to forgive you."
He knew that, and yet he sent a clone instead of going home himself to celebrate Himawari's birthday. Why he did that? He asked himself again and again. Why he purposely hurt his family? Why he-
"Naruto-kun?"
"Huh?"
Naruto blinked at Hinata who was looking at him worriedly, "Are you okay? You been staring at the bowl for the whole minute."
Naruto blinked again before he put the small bowl which still full of porridge in the tray on the bedside table, "Ah, sorry. I don't feel really hungry right now 'ttebayo."
"Is something wrong? Do you want to eat something else? I can ask the nurse to bring some soup for you if you want."
Naruto shook his head and looked at her with a smile. "It's fine. I will just eat it later."
Naruto closed his eyes as he leaned into his pillow behind him, tried to ignore the sudden headache that currently hammering inside his head like a sledgehammer.
"Now that you mentioned it, Grandpa used to be a Hokage too, but Dad says that when he was a kid, Grandpa Hokage wasn't even in this world anymore! That means Dad grew up not knowing a thing about this "enjoyable" father-son situation, didn't he?! Dad is the only one who doesn't know what this is like! If he was going to be like this, then it would've been better if he was never here from the beginning…"
Despite his screw up with the cake, he did sent another clone to apologize, but then his son's words halted him in his track. Through the clone, he saw how Hinata tried to defend him against his son's anger, how Himawari gave a sad look at the ruined birthday cake as Hinata hugged her, he saw how he hurt his family before he quietly dispelled the clone without anyone aware. He been longing for a family and when he finally experienced a family, his own family, his flesh and blood, and what did he do? He hurt them.
He apologized to Himawari and Hinata in person afterwards, brought his daughter a gift for her birthday. Although both his beloved girls dismissed the apology and assured him that they understood his work, he can practically saw the hurt in their eyes. Boruto didn't speak to him and avoiding him until the Chunin Exam which he scolded his son for cheating.
Naruto heard Himawari asked quietly to Hinata what's wrong with him which she then ushered her children to clean up the dishes and go home to let him rest. A sound of opening and closing door were heard before he felt Hinata stood beside his bed.
"Naruto-kun, I will leave the porridge here, okay? Just let the nurse to warm it up if you want to eat."
"Okay."
A moment of silence passed before Hinata spoke again.
"Naruto-kun?"
He opened his eyes to see Hinata looked at him worriedly, "Is something wrong? Do you want me to get the nurse?"
The blond Hokage went silence for a moment in hesitation before he replied with a small smile, "It's fine. Just a headache, I will just sleep it off."
"Are you sure? A medicine would help you sleep better. I can call the nurse-"
"It's fine!"
Hinata blinked at Naruto sudden outburst. "Naruto-kun?"
"I... I am sorry. I feel tired. Sorry, Hinata... Tell the kids sorry from me about the lunch."
Naruto quickly turned on the bed with his back towards her, he pull blanket up to his shoulder. He felt Hinata sat on the edge of the bed, her hand gently combed his hair.
"Something is bothering you."
It wasn't a statement.
"It's not important."
"What's wrong? Maybe I can help."
He swallowed as he closed his eyes tightly, "My head hurts, sorry 'ttebayo. I am going to sleep now."
He heard his wife sighed before she stood up from the bed.
"Sleep well. I love you."
He then felt a kiss on his head and a sound of closed door. Naruto opened his eyes as he stared at the wall beside him.
"Sleep well. I love you."
I love you. Hinata uttered those words to him so easily.
His vision suddenly blurred as warm tears fell on his face.
Hinata loved him, but after what he did to her, to their family, was he still deserved her love?
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Uzumaki's residence...
Hinata sighed as she closed the front door and went to the kitchen. She smiled at Himawari who was drawing on a couch as she passed through in the living room, Boruto already went out to train. She went to the sink and started to wash the dirty dishes, her mind wandered to Naruto's behavior earlier.
She knew Naruto was troubled by something, he tried to act normal but she saw through him. Though whenever she asked, Naruto would hesitated and dodged the subject, saying that he was tired and went to buried himself in blanket.
Naruto didn't really like to share his problems with other people, a fact that only obvious to her ever since she married him. For a person who was known to be loud and cheerful at his young, Naruto was pretty much a secretive person, especially when he was dealing with his problems. Living alone throughout his childhood made him accustomed to deal with whatever problem he had alone. It took her a while to convince him that it's okay to share his problems with her, that it's normal to share problem with family. Still, a habit was hard to break, especially when you been doing it alone for years.
Family. Naruto once told her that aside from being a Hokage, his other dream was to have a family of his own. When Boruto was born, he was mixed with excitement and anxious, it took Sakura, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Kakashi Sensei and her to calm him down. He was too nervous to touch his own son, feeling that he would just messed up everything. Hinata was fumed with anger when he told her that when he was little, the adults used to tell him how he brought misery and misfortunes to innocent small children everyime he tried to get close, so he never tried to touch a baby before, fearing that he would doomed those innocent babies. He knew now that what the adults told him in the past wasn't true, but he still feeling nervous whenever he get closed to small toddlers.
She still remembered as it was just happened yesterday, how happy he was when he first touch his own son, he was crying and then sat to watch Boruto slept for hours, occasionally touch him here and there without disturbing the newborn's sleep. Fortunately his experience with Himawari's birth was nowhere as dramatic as Boruto's, but he would still sat and watched her slept in her crib for hours like he was done with Boruto.
When he got the news from Rokudaime ie Kakashi Sensei that he was going to be inaugurated as Nanadaime, he was neither grinned in happiness nor jumped in excitement, rather he just kept quiet. Both her and Kakashi Sensei was confused by his reaction, expecting him to be excited since his long-term dream finally comes true, but they didn't expect that Naruto would be just...silent.
It wasn't like Naruto didn't know, he was undergoing the Hokage training ever since the war ended. When she confronted him about his reaction, he finally told her that he was scared. Dreaming to be a Hokage's wasn't as scary as putting the responsibility as Hokage in reality. After multiple attempts to convince him to accept the job, Naruto finally accepted the position. Not that he can say no anyway, Tsunade basically threatened him to accept the job or else.
A few weeks after he became the Hokage, he jokingly said that his family has became much bigger, and she smiled happily, saying that his family indeed became bigger, as the whole village was his family too. She remembered how Naruto looked at her in surprise before nodded, agreeing with her while jokingly said how she suddenly got hundreds of children, grandparents, aunts and uncles now. She laughed and promised him that she would support him in every step he made as Hokage to protect their family together.
Hinata smiled as Himawari came to her with a drawing of their family, complimented her drawing and encouraged her to make another one.
She was blessed that her daughter understand her father's work despite being so young, it was Boruto that constantly expressed his displeasure towards Naruto's job. Though whatever happened at the other dimension has finally made her son understand and slowly mended his strain relationship with his father, but sometimes she can see that Naruto was struggled. Even before the attack, Naruto seemed struggled with something, he was tired more than usual. He didn't speak much and eat less whenever he was at home, but she dismissed that he was stressed with his work.
"Now that you mentioned it, Grandpa used to be a Hokage too, but Dad says that when he was a kid, Grandpa Hokage wasn't even in this world anymore! That means Dad grew up not knowing a thing about this "enjoyable" father-son situation, didn't he?! Dad is the only one who doesn't know what this is like! If he was going to be like this, then it would've been better if he was never here from the beginning…"
Hinata was shocked to hear those words from her son, she knew that Boruto was lost in his anger, but then why she didn't be firm with him at that time? Why she let said those hurtful words? In the back of her mind, she swore that she felt Naruto's chakra again after the clone disappeared and ruined the cake. Was it another clone? But she dismissed the thought as she was occupied to comfort her daughter.
A gasp escaped from her as she realized something. What if Naruto did send another clone and heard Boruto's words?
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Thank you for reading! Drop a comment will you? Much appreciated!