The early morning is quite beautiful; I don't know why I've missed them for these past months, for there is always a chance that we'd never get to witness it again.
Throughout March, I'd wake up and stand in my balcony, feeling the breeze brush against my skin, whispering to me a hypnotic spell that made me come back everyday.
A delicate shade in the sky, baby-blue with a hint of pink, clouds fluffier than ever. I studied every bird that passed by, wings fluttering gracefully as they flew to different branches, singing the melody of the French song. I wonder if she knows anything about that? Oh, what am I saying, of course she does. She said it herself that she knows all of his deepest secrets, probably more than what he has shared with me.
It was one of those spring moments that even with the chilly wind, it still felt like a warm embrace from the world itself. How things have changed in just a few short months. Take the rose bush for instance; weeks ago it was a reckless, grotesque shrub. But, now, it's buds are gradually blossoming while others have already fully opened, the red, velvet roses dancing and swaying in the breeze.
Knock, knock, knock.
I jolt up, pulling myself out of my thoughts and entering back into my bedroom to open the door. His blonde hair wistfully sweeps across his eyes as his head is down, covering them from me. "Can I talk to you?", he says, still not looking at me.
"I'm not sure you can." I say disconcerted, knowing the reason why he's here.
"Please?", he pleads, eyes finally meeting mine.
"Fine, what?"
He jerks his head towards my room, consciously asking me to go inside, where no one could hear us. I crinkle my forehead and straighten my back, cautiously moving out of the way.
"I'm sorry. I'm so f*cking sorry for all of the pain I've caused you. I wish I could take it all back just to--", he says, grasping onto my hand and stroking it the way he used to.
I pull my hand away from him and he doesn't say anything for a couple of moments. "Is that why you're here?"
"Huh, well yes, but--"
"I forgive you."
"Really?!"
"I forgive you, but, I won't forget."
He lowers his head to stare at his feet as he shuffles them, squirming awkwardly. "So what does this mean?", he asks me.
"It means you can finally be with the person you've loved this whole time and I won't get in your way."
"Thank you for your understanding", his tone sounds like he's relieved that I wouldn't cause any harm to their relationship. "C--can we still be friends?"
I sigh, stepping closer to him, hands on his shoulder as he lifts his head, gazing back into my eyes. "If I tell you no, what would you do?"
"I'd fall down to my knees to beg, no, bother you till you say yes." I giggle at his joke because this boy would never--
And in a blink of an eye, the boy was on the ground, hands clamped together, imploring me for an answer. "Umm...I don't know", I say sarcastically, waiting for him to plead some more.
"Please, please say yes. What do you want me to do, kiss your feet?"
"Well...", he looks at me frightened that he has gotten to this point of his life. "Alright, I'll be your friend, now get up you idiot." I hear him mutter a 'thank you' under his breath before getting up to my eye level, and yanks me into a warm hug. Oh, how I've missed this.
"Since we're friends, how about a picnic on this fine day", he says cheerfully as I feel his throat vibrating against the side of my neck.
"What about your girlfriend? I don't think she'd like that--"
He rips himself off of me unexpectedly, "Actually on the contrary, she's the one who came up with this bloody brilliant idea. She thought that as long as you're living here, it's best if you were comfortable enough to come out of your room."
"Well, if that's the case, then I guess, we could go."
"Perfect, darling."
---
Extended beneath the clouds, white, velutinous, and featherlike, the butterflies swirl around the greengrass, trying to find a flower out of the many to rest on. Dandelions are smashed under the blanket and lilacs are leaning over me. He lies next to me in his ever-lasting perfection, fingers playing with the daffodils.
Behind us is the old manor that rises over the garden, ivy leaves crawling up on the stone walls building, an enduring comparison to the horizon.
My cream, white, long dress swept behind me as I spun through the tall grasses and wildflowers, the edge smudged subtly green, arms stretched up in the air, dancing and prancing around like nobody was watching. It's the most free I've ever felt in such a long time, especially after being cooped up in my room during the cold winter. I spun once more before collapsing onto the blanket, laying besides Draco.
"You're quiet," I state, twiddling with the brim of the lace on my dress, daring not to look at him.
He stretches his long legs on the vibrant green grass— pale skin honeyed like the rising sun. "What do you think a daffodil symbolizes?", he questions, his head faces me, as his beautiful grey eyes are squinting from the bright rays of the sun. Knowing well that he was staring at me, waiting for my answer, I inhaled the fresh air: a sweet scent of grass and a hint of his cologne.
"A daffodil symbolizes new beginnings because they are the first spring flowers to bloom right after the winter frost--"
He yanks a daffodil from the ground and tucks it behind my ear, while I get an opportunity to admire him; the way the strands of platinum hair fall on his glass skin, or how his fingers gently caress my cheeks as he reaches for my ears, or perhaps the way that no matter what he does to me, I still wish the best for him.
"There,'' he says, pulling away from me. "Welcome to our new beginning."
Little does he know that another one of its meanings is it's unequalled love: a desire for an affection that will never be returned. I fake a smile and pretend that I'm not vex by his friendly gesture. He used to be able to decipher my true emotions and now that he's with her, it seems like he totally forgot, that I was just some lost memory.
Couldn't he see that I was broken? The cracks in my heart are growing with every passing minute. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be happy for them, I was supposed to cut him out of my life; he declared his love to someone else and now I have to deal with the heartache. But, the feeling never disappeared.
I glanced down to the silver charm that laid on my collarbone, that tiny piece of jewelry, heavy on my neck, for it carried the weight of many promises... promises that were never kept.
I will tell him, even if it kills me all over again because he has to know. I looked back up to him and clutched onto his hand, squeezing it for reassurance. "I was once that girl you couldn't take your eyes off. You'd spend everyday with me at the Black Lake, skipping classes, talking about our goals and dreams. And then suddenly it all was gone. On the night of Dumbledore's death, you were taken away and I was locked up. You came to see me, yet, you were different; I'd say you were a stranger. The look in your eyes, the kiss we shared, everything about it was different. I don't know what they did to you to make you change your mind about me, but I f*cking hated every minute of it. And then you tell me that you have a girlfriend. How do you think that made me feel? I was devastated, depressed, angry, that I was willing to survive just to see you die."
"I--I--"
"No, you do not get to say anything." I glared at him before continuing. "The more we spent time together, the more I fell deeper into your trap. I trusted you, trusted you enough to give away my virginity. Still, I was stuck under the illusion that we were 'forever'. Everytime I'm with you, I find myself crying, over your words, lies, and memories. However, I've come to the conclusion that it's okay. I'm okay. Despite the pain you've caused me I still love you. What a bloody fool I am." I said softly, tiredly whilst he placed a gentle, warm kiss on my forehead. "She's--she's a good person who cares for you and for my sake, please don't let her go."
"Angitia--"
I unclip my necklace, setting it on my palm to read his initials one last time before handing it to him: D.L.M
"I'm glad you found your forever."