You ended up leaving Alexandria.
You didn't know if you would feel less miserable anywhere else, you doubted it, but you could try. You knew that, once you would start to show and people found that you were pregnant, they would start to wonder about the father, and you didn't want that. You also feared that Michonne might put two and two together after your breakdown in the woods when Daryl left, and you were sure she wouldn't agree with you not telling Daryl about his baby, and you also feared that if she knew, she'd tell him herself.
So, you left.
You considered going to Hilltop, but you thought it'd be the same, too many people knew you. And so you ended up in Oceanside. You remembered that fight you had with Daryl, in which you told him that if he didn't care about you and what you did, then you'd leave and go sunbathe in Oceanside...you might as well just live up to your word.
Michonne was confused about why you were leaving, but she seemed to think it had something to do with Daryl and his absence, which wasn't far from the truth, and so she seemed to accept that you needed space and a new place and life. Siddiq was worried, but you didn't let him talk you out of it, and you made him swear he wouldn't tell anyone about your pregnancy. He was your doctor, and so he ought to keep your secret, whether he liked it or not.
You were apprehensive about going to stay at Oceanside, though, you couldn't help it, but even though the women there seemed a bit confused, they all welcomed you. They seemed to think that you were mourning something, or someone, which was kind of true, and that you might need a change of air, and so they helped you adapt.
When they found that you were pregnant, you knew they had a thousand questions that they didn't ask, letting you be, but you heard the rumors anyway. Some seemed to think that you had fled an abusive relationship, others thought that the baby father had died, while others thought you might be pregnant after a one-night thing, and others thought you might have wanted to have a kid on your own. You never said anything.
It wasn't that bad of a life, though, you had been given a small, pretty cottage that faced the beautiful beach, and despite the gossip, the women were kind, and so even though your heart was broken and you were afraid of the future and what it might bring to you and the baby, you slowly began to adapt and get used to your new life at Oceanside.
Weeks passed, turning into months, and you wondered if you would ever stop feeling that pain in your heart that seemed to be always with you, that way in which you couldn't stop missing Daryl, even though thinking about him and about his rejection hurt so much, even though that, as months passed, your sadness was also turning into bitterness, and you were not only sad but angry at Daryl too...which didn't help you to forget and move on.
You couldn't believe that you had ever cared for Daryl as you had done, that you had loved him as you did...only to have his indifference thrown to your face, only to have him leaving without a goodbye, to have him not even looking at you when you tried to talk to him.
Whenever you wondered if this was a mistake, if maybe you should have told Daryl about the baby, if maybe it wasn't too late and you could try to find him and tell him that you were pregnant of him, no matter that you were scared of his reaction, you remembered the last time that you had seen him, how he had walked away from you without a word, without even a look...
No. You couldn't deal with that, with his indifference and his resentment. You could raise the baby alone. You wanted Daryl out of your life. You needed it.
*
Things went a bit better after you had your baby, if only because you were enamored with her. You didn't know how you could love someone so much already, but she was perfect, and thanks to her, your heart was full of love again, and your smile was back on your face. She had Daryl's eyes, though, lovely and pretty, but a permanent reminder.
You would lie if you said that you didn't miss him, that the way in which he'd left you and his indifference, after all that you both had shared, didn't hurt anymore, because it did, you were bitter and angry, you still felt like you were having your heart ripped out of your chest when you thought about it, and you still cried more than you would want to.
But you had to move on and push through all that, if only for your baby.
You had word that Michonne had a baby too, and you were surprised, you hadn't known she was pregnant, and your heart went to Rick, who had died without knowing he had a kid, and to Michonne, raising the baby alone, with Rick gone.
You wanted to go visit, but you didn't want questions about your own baby, and you didn't dare to travel with her so little.
It wasn't until about a year and a half after you had your baby, that you went to visit Alexandria, Michonne and his baby, RJ, you had been told he was called. Some women from Oceanside were going to Alexandria for some trading, and so you decided to go with them in their cart to stay in Alexandria for a week or two, when Michonne told you that she'd be happy to have you, after all that time.
You traveled without any trouble, and you smiled when the cart crossed the gates of Alexandria and you saw Michonne and Aaron there waiting for you all. You waved at them and smiled at your baby, who seemed confused but excited, strapped to you with a slinger. "Hey!"
"Hi!" Michonne was smiling at you, but she looked at your baby in surprise.
"Hey! Y/N!" Aaron seemed surprised too, grinning at you and the kid. "Who's this little lady here?"
"She's Naia, she's my kid." You smiled, even though you were nervous at how they might react. They seemed even more surprised, looking from the little girl to you, and back at the baby.
"How have you ended up with a baby living in a place with only women?" Aaron seemed amused, smiling at your girl, who was frowning at him as if deciding if she liked him or not.
"Well, you know...sailors come sailors go..." You tried to joke without saying anything...yes, there were only women in Oceanside, but sometimes people from other communities came to trade, so you didn't think it was impossible for you to have ended up pregnant...you rather had Michonne thinking that after Daryl, you had looked for comfort in someone else, and ended up pregnant in a one-night thing, that knowing that you had hidden his baby from Daryl. "Anyway, I'm dying to see Judith and Gracie, they must be so big, and to meet RJ!"
"You have come in the best moment," Aaron said as he helped you with your bag. "A week ago we found a woman who happens to be Michonne's friend, and she's got a lot of kids with her, Naia is going to have so much fun with them."
"A friend?" You looked at Michonne, surprised.
"Yes, she was my best friend when I was studying at the uni...I never thought I'd see her ever again!" Michonne explained, and you grinned, you couldn't believe such a thing could happen.
"That's so great! Good for you, you really deserve it!" You reached out to squeeze Michonne's arm.
Later that day, you were with Michonne, introducing Naia and RJ, and playing with them. Naia hadn't met other kids before, there weren't any kids in Oceanside, and at first, Naia had seemed shy, but now she seemed to be getting along with RJ and you loved it. Of course, Rick's and Daryl's kids were bound to be good friends...that thought sent a bolt of pain to your heart, and you rushed to push it away. Naia was your kid, yours, that was.
"Y/N...I was wondering..." Michonne began and you didn't like how it sounded. "About Naia's father..."
"I don't want to talk about him, or think about him." You stopped her before she could say anything else. "He's not in the picture, never was, and I'm okay with it, there was nothing between us two, just...well, just comfort when both of us needed it..." It wasn't quite a lie, but it was not the truth. You hated to lie to Michonne to her face like that, you felt guilty, but you were sure if she knew who was Naia's father, she'd go tell Daryl, and you couldn't face him, you hadn't changed your mind. Besides, Michonne could very well hate you for having kept Naia from his father, and from her, she was like her niece after all...no, you couldn't deal with that either.
Michonne looked at you for a second and you fidgeted, anxiously, and feeling a bit like crying, but finally she nodded. "Okay." You gave her a grateful, relieved smile, and she smiled back. "Come on, I'll introduce you to Jocelyn."
*
You had never seen so many kids together, and you loved it, they made Alexandria so vibrant and cheerful, playing, and laughing, everyone seemed in the best mood you had ever seen, and although you still felt guilty about having lied to Michonne and being keeping secret who was Naia's father, you didn't regret having gone to visit.
The first day, Naia had been shy at so many new people, but soon she began to warm up to them, especially to the kids, although the only one as young as her was RJ, but she still loved to be with them, laughing so much, seeming so happy, you thought your heart was going to melt looking at her.
However, when a week later some kids asked you to let Naia go to a sleepover at Jocelyn's place with them, you were unsure. You had never been away from your girl, much less for a whole night, and the idea made you anxious, besides you thought Naia was still too little for that, but all the kids of Alexandria were going, even RJ, since Jocelyn and the teens said they'd look after the little ones and made sure they were alright. Jocelyn told you that after being raising Naia alone, you deserved a night of relax for yourself, you were still very unsure, but after Jocelyn told you a million times that she'd make sure your girl was okay, and would bring her back to you if she seemed unhappy in a second, you ended up saying yes, and letting Naia go.
That evening, though, after dinner, once everything began to get dark, you started to question if it was a good idea, worried about your little girl. You had never been away from Naia, and the idea of her being away for the night was too scary. Even if she was enjoying herself, you missed her too much and you felt like crying, and so finally you decided to go bring her back.
You weren't sure if the kids would be asleep already, but you went to Jocelyn's place and knocked on the door, you'd take Naia with you whether she was asleep or not. Jocelyn opened, seeming confused to see you there, frowning at you.
"Y/N?"
"Hey...I'm so sorry to bother you, but...I just...I miss Naia too much," you admitted. "And I don't think I can take to be away from her for a whole night, so I wanted to take her back home."
Jocelyn just looked at you for a few seconds but then she nodded and smiled. "Of course! Come in."
You walked inside, wondering if the kids were asleep, since you didn't hear anything, and you went to turn around and ask, but suddenly you felt a sharp pain in your head, and everything went black.
*
You woke up to voices calling your name, feeling a horrible pain in your head. You tried to open your eyes but everything was spinning, until you saw Aaron knelt down beside you.
"Y/N...Y/N...She's alive! She's waking up!" Aaron was saying and you thought you saw Michonne there too but everything was blurry and your head hurt like hell, pounding. "Someone call Siddiq!" You tried to move and groaned at the pain in your head, everything spinning again. "Take it easy..."
"I...I..." You babbled, trying to make sense of what was happening, trying to open your eyes again. "Naia...I was...she..." You tried to think, tried to make the world stop spinning. "Where is she...what's happening?"
"Someone knocked you on the head, we thought you were dead," Aaron explained. "Don't move until Siddiq comes."
"I was...I...Naia...Naia, I wanted to pick her up, she was..." Some things were coming back slowly. "She was with Jocelyn but I...I wanted...Naia, is she with Jocelyn?" Who was taking care of your baby if you were hurt...and, and why were you hurt? Aaron...did he say someone had knocked you...but, but it made no sense... You noticed Aaron looking at Michonne and shaking his head. "What? I don't...we're...there's an attack? It's someone else hurt? Just tell me where's Naia..." Had someone managed to get into Alexandria? Were the kids okay? Was your baby okay? You still felt confused but you were panicking and you tried to move again, crying out in pain and almost passing out.
"Easy, Y/N," Aaron hold you down again.
"Just tell me..." You whimpered, eyes closed, your head pounding so much you couldn't open them.
"Jocelyn took the kids," you heard Michonne's voice.
"To a safe place?" Maybe Alexandria had really been attacked?
"No. We just got here and you were lying on the floor, bleeding, Jocelyn and all the kids were gone, the pantry is empty," Michonne explained and you forced your eyes to open to look at her....what was she saying. "She took our supplies and our kids and left."
"What? What?!" You could just blink at her, panic growing in your as the words began to make sense, despite the pain and your confusion. "You told me she was your best friend!" You yelled, and then groaned and closed your eyes in pain. "Told me to let Naia with her...to trust her..."
"She was my best friend!" Michonne yelled back. "I...she took Judith and RJ too!" She said, without yelling this time. "I'm going to look for them, I'll bring them back."
"Wait..." You opened your eyes but she was gone, as if you had lost consciousness for a minute. "Wait for me..." Your little girl...someone had taken her...someone...a friend...it couldn't be true...maybe you were unconscious and dreaming? Maybe you had died from the blow? Was this hell, from not telling Daryl about Naia? "Wait for me..." You tried to get up and fall back again, groaning, everything getting dizzy.
"No, hey, Y/N..." Aaron tried to calm you down.
"How is she? Y/N, hey?" You heard Siddiq's voice and opened your eyes to find him knelt down next to you with Aaron. "I'm going to take you to the infirmary, you're going to be fine, okay?"
"Naia..." was the only thing you could murmur...where was your kid...
Siddiq helped you get up and you cried out, almost passing out again, but as you were carried to the infirmary, they didn't allow you to pass out, not even when Siddiq stitched the wound in your head, it felt like it was on fire, kept hurting when he bandaged it, despite the painkillers. Siddiq explained that you had a concussion, but he promised you'd get better...you just wanted to know where was your baby girl...
"It's going to be okay," Siddiq kept trying to calm you down. "There's people looking for the kids, they'll find them, Michonne told Daryl too."
"Daryl..." He...he didn't even know....his kid, your kid...where was she, where was Naia...
"Yes, Daryl, you remember how good he's at tracking yes? They'll find them. Now you have to rest, okay?"
No...no...you couldn't rest...you needed to find your baby girl...you felt you could barely move, though, your mind felt foggy, your head still felt like it was on fire...
It took you quite a few hours to feel better. The pain was still there, but your mind was becoming clearer, which just made you panic more. Jocelyn...she had betrayed Alexandria, she had taken your supplies and your kids and run away...she has taken your little girl...oh, you were so going to kill her...
You groaned as you tried to get up, head pounding again, and Siddiq rushed to stop you. "Y/N, take it easy..."
"No, I have to find Naia," You struggled until you managed to sit up.
"There's people on it," Siddiq explained to you again. "They'll bring them back. I know you want to be out there, but you can't, not like this, okay?"
You felt tears in your eyes, but you nodded, you had the worst headache ever and the world spinning when you moved your head a bit too fast. You would be useless out there...Someone had taken your little girl and you couldn't go find her, you were useless to her. What if Michonne couldn't find her? What if it was too late?
You sobbed again, but you didn't have to worry for long, because you heard a voice outside of the infirmary announcing that the lookouts had spotted Michonne, Aaron and Daryl coming back, the kids with them. You got up, ignoring the headache and Siddiq telling you be careful.
The sun outside the infirmary blinded you for a moment, making the headache worse, and once you could more or less see again you rushed to the gates in time to see them opening and the kids running to their parents, seeming okay. Naia, where was Naia... You closed your eyes tight at the bright light before you could open them again, and you saw Aaron holding Gracie tight, Michonne holding RJ with one arm and walking hand by hand with Judith.
Behind them, there was Daryl, and he was holding Naia, who seemed unharmed, and your heart skipped a beat at the sight of Naia in Daryl's arms...her eyes were so much like his, more than you had realized. Was this...was this what you could have had, if yours and Daryl's relationship had been something real?
There was no time to think about that, or never. Not point. And your baby girl needed you now.
"Naia!" You tried rushing to them, groaning as it made your head hurt like hell, everything turning blurry for a second, but the pain was forgotten when you opened your eyes and found Naia grinning at you, waving her arms in your direction.
"Momma!"
Daryl had seemed surprised to see you there, but when Naia began calling for you he stopped walking, looking from the girl to you wide-eyed. You ignored it, or tried to, even if you couldn't look at him and your stomach knotted when you approached him. You reached out to pick Naia from Daryl's arms and he allowed you to do so in stunned silence.
You wanted to rush back home before Daryl decided to say anything, though he seemed puzzled, but first you squeezed Naia to you, though you tried not to show how worried you had been, not wanting to scare her or worry her too, but a couple of tears escaped your eyes.
Naia pouted when she looked at the bandage on your head. "Hurt," she babbled in her own way, that most times still only you could understand.
"I'm okay, sweetheart." You smiled to her, you didn't want to worry her, but she pouted again, booping your tear-stained cheek.
"Hurt."
"No, honey, I'm crying because I'm happy to see you," you kept trying to stop her from worrying. "Because I love you."
Finally Naia stopped pouting, grinning and babbling her own way of saying "love you," which just made you cry again, you couldn't help it, and you squeezed her to you.
When you looked up from her, you saw Daryl was still there, looking at you both in silence. You didn't know how he could still stir so many feelings in you, anger, bitterness, but also longing, sadness for what you had and lost, for what you thought you had and didn't... You quickly turned around and walked away.
"Come on, sweetheart, let's go home."
"Y/N," Siddiq stop you. "You should stay at the infirmary today, just in case."
You let out a sigh...you didn't want to worry Naia, but you knew Siddiq needed to make sure you were alright before letting you be alone when you had a concussion, and you didn't want to have a seizure, pass out, or something worse in front of Naia, much less the two of you alone. "Okay, but only if Naia can stay." It'd also give you an excuse to hide from Daryl, you guessed, until he left again.
"Of course she can," Siddiq smiled at you both. "Come on."
"Bye," Naia waved at Daryl, making you feel all weird, and it seemed like he was about to say something, so you looked away from him and rushed to the infirmary before he could.
You should have never gone to Alexandria. Your baby had been kidnapped, and now Daryl knew she existed, though he didn't know she was his...but he could put two and two together, and you did not want to deal with that.. You tried not to worry, but you could help it. You'd pack your things tomorrow and flee back to Oceanside again...