"I'm sorry mom. You must be really disappointed in me." I finally say after 20 minutes of us driving home. "We were always careful and protected. Except one time but I know that's all it takes." She stays silent. It hurts because that's the same silence I felt when I confronted Andy.
"I know you didn't want me to continue the cycle of teen pregnancy and I've embarrassed you and I'm so sorry.. I'm such a slut." As I start tearing up, my mom pulls over into a parking lot and turns off the car.
"Honey," she puts my hand in hers. "You are not a slut, and I am not embarrassed. You're going to be a teen mother, so what? That doesn't matter because you're going to be a great mother. I may not be 100 percent happy you made me a grandma before I'm 50, but I love you, no matter what, remember that." She starts the car and pulls off.
The whole ride home I think of what she said. She's right, it doesn't matter how old I am, I'm gonna try and be the best mom I can be to my baby.
I have to.
~~~andy~~~
I get out of my car sluggishly. Everyone is expecting Brielle with me when I open the door. I texted everyone that I found her and to meet me back at the house. Now I have to come in alone— actually and metaphorically.
"Where's Brielle?" Mikaila ask me as I enter the house. "She didn't come with me." I answered. "Well where is she?" "She already aborted the baby!" Crystal gasps. I put a small smile on my face. "She didn't. She couldn't go through with it." Gradually, the smile lessens and lessens as the events replay back in my mind.
"She said she doesn't want me to be around her or the baby. She said 'goodbye'. It's over, for real this time.." I slouch on the couch and a few tears come out of my eyes. Crystal sits next to me. "Oh Andy, we'll talk to her, won't we Mika?" She looks over to Mikaila. She rolls her eyes and replies, "Mmhm."
I sit up on the couch. 'Come on dude, stop acting like a baby and get the both of yours.' "I'll talk to her. She's my girlfriend, pregnant with my baby, and I got myself into this so now I have to get myself out." I stand up, grab my keys and once I get out to my car, I drive off around the block and just sat there. Thinking about what I'm gonna say, how I'm going to say it, and if she'll even listen to me.
Finally, I form a plan.
~~~brielle, a month later~~~
I lay down on my bed, starring at the ceiling. Its summer and Andy hasn't called me once. Maybe he's already moved and forgot about me and the baby. And it is his baby after all, I don't see how you could just move on with your life like I didn't get pregnant, like I didn't almost abort the baby, like you didn't sleep with another girl, like you didn't break my heart.
Maybe I shouldn't have told him he wasn't going to be involved. He could try me for custody later on when he graduates and I don't want that on me, him, or the baby.
Maybe I should forgive him, call him and apologize, move to Florida and raise this baby with him, be a happy family.
I should, but I'm not.
He cheated on me— with a hooker—and he just fucking leaves me here and goes to Florida like 'fuck you and the baby' and thinks I'll just forgive and forget about it? Hell no. I have too much pride for that. Fuck him.
As I rub my stomach, I'm getting a little bump there, my mom knocks on the door. "Honey, it's been a month. Text Andy, call him." I roll my eyes. Why did she have to come in here and bring this up after I just made up my mind about fucking him.
Not like that— that's how I got pregnant—but like saying 'fuck you' to him and forgetting about him and us.
"Mom, we've talked about this multiple times and it's making me stressed. I told you, I'm not going to call him and I want nothing to do with him and that's that." I stand up and start walking towards her. "He left me here, and without saying goodbye. School just ended and he's already down there!Probably looking for another girl to get pregnant and then abandon so just give it a rest!" I slam the door in her face.
After I hear the slam I get a little guilty. I probably shouldn't have yelled at her like that, or slammed the door. She knows how sensitive I am about this topic but she keeps bringing it up.
"Your first ultrasound is tomorrow at 3 so be ready." I hear my mom say from the other side of the door. Then I hear her say to someone, "I'm sorry, I tried."
Steve isn't home so it's just me and my mom. Mika and Crys didn't tell me they were coming so who could my mom be talking to?