—Next Night—
"Okay does everyone want the same then, roast dinner ?" Jungkook asks us and we all nod. Tonight he's offered to treat us out to food, and we could have been cruel and asked for lobsters and steaks, the whole shablam, but no what do we all want and crave ?? A bloody roast dinner 🤤. Honestly some honey roasted parsnips and mash, I'm your girl !
"God my face still hurts from yesterday" Jimin moans, prodding his cheek that was still slightly red.
"I actually feel bad" Taehyung admits before wrapping an arm around the male, pulling his head onto his shoulder. "Forgive me my little Mochi, I promise to never harm you with a volley ball again"
"I'll forgive you as long as you admit you did it on purpose"
"....fine"
"Fine what ?"
"I did do it on purpo—."
"FUCKING KNEW IT !"
"Oh shit" I almost choke on my Diet Coke. "Tae why would you purposely hit him ??"
"He made fun of my hogwarts sand castle"
"So to get even you bruised my face ?! How is that fair !?"
"Oh calm down you have a red cheek it's not like you're dying"
"Wait for it—." I pause.
"I COULD HAVE DIED !"
"There ya go"
"Honestly whenever I'm out with you two It feels like me and Namjoon have kids" Jin snaps, now pointing at the two males with his drinks straw. "Shut your traps, drink your cokes and for the love of god just behave for once !"
"He started it though—."
"No I didn't !"
Whilst arguments spread across the table, I avert my attention to the front of the restaurant, eyes glancing around for Jungkook. This restaurant is a little different to most, to order your food you have to go up to the till rather then a waitress taking your order at the table.
I continue to scan around the room until I spot him, and he's still talking to the waitress by the till. Nothing wrong with that, but seriously how long does it take to order 6 roast dinners, we all want the exact same ! Well..I did ask for an extra Yorkshire pudding but still !!
Whatever he's saying, it seems to be making the waitress laugh. There's nothing wrong with that either; Jungkook is funny, he has some good jokes and good impressions.
Don't think it Violet don't think it.
Crap I'm thinking it.
Would he really flirt with another girl though ? Even when admitting he still loves me ?? Fuck sake why do I have to let my thoughts get in the way of everything !!
After a few minutes he joins us back at the table, and my heart beat goes back to a normal pace. His eyes flick to look at mine, and my expression must look worrying to him, because he makes an "👌" sign at me. I put on a smile and nod before lifting my straw to my lips. God I hope I played that off well.
"Okay let's play a game whilst we wait for the food" Taehyung says.
"What game ?" I ask.
Smirking, Taehyung holds up three fingers. "Three words. Fuck, marry & kill"
"I'm down" Jimin smirks. "We doing real people or celebrities ?"
"Whichever"
"Nice one, I'll go first. Violet !"
"Oh no"
"Me, Taehyung, and Jungkook. Go !"
"Well I know who I'd kill straight away" I say, causing the table to break out into chuckles. "For making me go first, I'd kill Jimin"
"I'd kill him for other reasons" Namjoon speaks.
"Woah Nam, I thought we were friends ?!"
"We were until you stole my sandwich yesterday"
"I thought you were done with it !"
"Jimin there was still half of it left !"
"Whatever. Violet" the male looks back at me. "Jungkook or Tae, who you fucking and who you marrying ?"
"Think wisely here" Taehyung grins, but I don't think he realises how serious this question is, well, for me and Jungkook anyway that is. In our relationship, we never actually addressed this subject, but I guess now is the day.
"Well" I swallow my saliva. "I guess I'd fuck Taehyung"
"Nice one" Taehyung smiles to himself.
I look back at Jungkook, and I can see the stunned look on his face as he stares at me.
"And I'd marry Jungkook.."
"Ooooooo okay okay my turn now do me" Jin beams all excited. "But give me celebrities, and good looking ones !"
I zone out from the conversation the others share, my eyes still focused on Jungkook. I gulp before looking away, not enjoying the weird sensation lingering in my tummy; as though I've just exposed myself with a big secret or something.
—10:54pm—
When we got home, the plan was for us all to take a walk on the beach at night, to see the moonlight shine on the calm ocean waves. But no, Mother Nature decided to fuck us over and grant us with a rain storm. Seriously, Jungkook warned us that they could get bad, but I didn't think they could get THIS bad, like I wouldn't be surprised if we woke up to ducks swimming around our beds the next morning.
Everyone is currently doing their own thing. Jin and Namjoon no doubt are still spooning on the couch, whilst Jimin and Taehyung attempt to make ice cream sundaes in the kitchen, and Jungkook is having a shower if I'm not wrong.
Me ? Well I decided to take a further look around this place. I've discovered that the Jeons beach house has a library. Yup. A library. It's not huge, but there's at least 6 book cases in here, I almost feel like princess belle. Ew that was cringey, ignore that please. As I scan a random book on the shelf, I notice there are a few classic novels, just like the ones I have to stoody in class. It causes me to question which one of the jeons is the book worm, I highly doubt it's gamer boy Soobin. I avert my eyes to the window beside me, seeing the rain pelting the glass harshly, almost making believe that window would smash open any second.
"Hey" a voice makes me jump and shoot to look at the door, where Jungkook now stands.
"You scared me—."
"We need to talk" he strides towards me.
"Okay..erm..about what ?"
"Before at the restaurant" he says, brows furrowed to almost form an angered expression. "You make no sense to me"
"What—."
"You said you would marry me, if that's the case then why are we still broken up ??"
"Oh for god sake Jungkook" i scoff and look away.
"What ?? Do I not have a right to be confused ??"
"It was just a game ! I had to pick someone"
"But you picked me, why didn't you pick Tae ??"
"I don't know !" I shrug. "I-I just did"
"Is it because you still love me"
"Why are you even aski—. Jungkook you know I still love you—."
"Then why can't we get back together ??"
I'm so confused. Why are we yelling at each other right now ?? And why is my throat starting to hurt with every word I speak ??
"Can we drop this, please ?"
"Why can't we be together again V ?!" The boy frowns at me, and I soften completely, I hate when he makes that face. "Why can't you just forgive me ??"
"Because of today" I admit. Honestly it's best to just get to the point now and be honest with him, because he still just doesn't seem to get it. "Today just reminded me of the reason for why we shouldn't be together. I still don't trust you Jungkook"
"But I—."
"Please" I cut him short. "Just let me finish"
He pauses before granting me a nod, and I take in a deep breath.
"When I saw you having a conversation with that waitress, I felt on edge and wondered if you were flirting with her. Even though you've told me you want me back, I still worry about you being unfaithful to me..
I've tried to ignore this, I really have, honestly it drives me insane at times that I can't forget about what you did, because all I want is to be with you Jungkook. But the trust...the trust is just gone, I can't help that.
And I don't wanna be in a relationship where I'm constantly on edge—
"Violet I—."
"I don't wanna discuss this anymore" I say before walking away.
"Well I do" he yanks me back. "Don't you think I've been punished long enough"
Furrowing my brows I shoot him a look. "Punished ?"
His expression softens. "Yeah"
"Is that why you think I'm doing this ? Because I wanna punish you ??"
Unbelievable.
"Jungkook I'm not getting back with you because I'm still not over what you did. And if you seriously think I'm doing this to hurt you, then my god you really don't know me at all—."
Everything stops. Time. My movements. Everything. All I can focus on now are his lips on mine. A wave of emotions hits me, and I don't even hesitate before kissing him back, a huge part of me wants this, wants to explore further into those emotions. My back is pressed against the bookshelf, and I can already feel the contact from his hands as he slides them up my waste.
Suddenly he begins to lift my shirt from over my head, and stupidly I let him. Within a second it's tossed to the ground; and he removes his straight after, before crashing his body back against mine. The kiss is moving so fast, I'm actually struggling to breathe a little, but I guess it's just the relief from all of the tension before.
Our lips smack against one another's; and he bites and sucks mine roughly, creating a sweet but stinging sensation through my mouth. His tongue intermingles with mine, and our saliva mixes with one another's, so passionate n heated, in fact, my body feels as though it's on fire right now, my skin burning up and I can almost feel my blood simmering.
Reaching down he attacks my neck with kisses. And thats when it happens, the flashbacks. I scrunch my eyes shut and try to think of something else, but it's impossible when Jungkook is being this rough, it reminds me of Kai. Great, now my hearts pounding and not in a good way, it hurts almost, and there's a thick lump in my throat that's hard to swallow.
I fucking hate Kai. I hate his guts ! He's done this to me again !!
"Violet—."
I hate this pain !!
"Violet—."
I hate it ! I HATE IT—
"Violet !" When Jungkook cups my cheek, I snap back to reality, now staring at the boy with wide eyes. It's now that I realise how heavy I'm breathing, how loud each breath sounds, almost like I'm wheezing. "You're having a panic attack baby" Jungkook says, hands stroking my cheek as he panics himself. "Just try and calm down your breathing, focus on your breathing—."
I zone out from his words for a split second, my eyes darting to the corner of the room. It's almost as though I can see my self standing there, before Kai pins me back against the wall. It's such a triggering scene to see, and already I can feel my chest tightening again.
"No" I begin to tear up, my eyes darting back to Jungkook. "I don't wanna picture it anymore"
"Picture what V ?? Picture what ??"
"Don't let him do it to me again" I blurt. "Don't leave me please, just don't leave me alone with him—."
I'm suddenly pulled into Jungkooks embrace, his hand pushing down on the back of my head to keep me close, other arm snaked around my body. I sniffle and grip onto him. I'm not sure he understood what I was just saying, but it doesn't matter now, because he's got me; and he's not letting me go. As I glance over at the corner of the room, the scene begins to fade away into nothing, and my breathing already feels like it's getting better.
"You're safe with me" Jungkook gently speaks, now stroking the back of my head to comfort me. "I'm not going anywhere without you okay ? I'm not leaving you alone, I'm gonna be by your side constantly"
My chest raises up and down slowly, a sign that I'm calming down. Maybe it's the skin on skin contact I'm sharing with him right now; or the way his gentle voice soothes me; either way; it's helping. I nuzzle my cheek against his shoulder, eyes now focused on the ground.
Well. Jungkook is now the second person to witness my panic attacks..
He's almost fully on track with everything that's been going on in my life.
Now I just have to tell him I'm pregnant.