^^ A message from me that goes beyond this book, but hey, it feels important to say
Chapter 80: Curiosity
Timing has never been my strong suit.
It must be an inherited trait because my mom's timing is the worst. In the midst of Luke's party, she chooses now to come strolling back.
9 Dupont Avenue was busy celebrating Luke's accomplishments. Their door sprung open and blue balloons bobbed at its threshold.
Mr Dawson, Mrs Dawson, Luke's coach and Jamie sprinkled out into the street, wanting to bring Luke back to the party. He was their pride and joy after all.
My mom watched the troupe walking towards us, all dressed up, and it was only rubbing their family's successes in her face. We may be neighbors, but we had very different opportunities growing up.
Luke and I stood, still hand in hand and I turned towards him, pressing my hands against his chest. He was their star and we were castaways. It's comical really.
"Please go back," I told Luke, "Let's avoid making a scene."
He didn't say anything, but I could see his internal conflict, the dark look in his eyes, as he decided whether to stay or go. He wanted to help, but his presence was not calming here.
When my mom looked at Luke, she saw his parents who'd called social services on us when we were kids. When my mom looked at Luke, she saw yet another boy who said he was going to be supportive forever...
And she didn't believe in that anymore. My father had made the same promise: faithful one day and gone the next.
I watched Luke walk across to meet his family halfway. He ushered them back, though they continued to stare at us in curiosity, wondering what had drawn us all outside. Mr Dawson, especially, had a very cold look on his face.
And my mom's expression reciprocated that.
I saw Jamie standing next to her father, Luke's coach. I hadn't seen her in so long, but our eyes made contact and she looked away.
Behind me, the gambler's friend was carting slabs of wood back into his truck. He went back for his saw and passed by Austin and Jake, who were standing on the pavement, looking confused at what he was doing.
I had so many questions left to ask my mom, but it looked like my opportunity to ask her was fading fast.
I tried to keep my voice down, not wanting anyone else to hear, "Can you just tell me why you didn't come back when the police called?"
My mom was still clutching her breadbasket full of weed and responded like the question was a nuisance, "They said nothing was stolen and that it was likely someone you know from school. I'm sure your life wasn't in danger from some childish prank."
"Then why didn't you take me with you?" I asked, listing off my questions. It was not a childish prank.
"My boyfriend doesn't like kids," she replied, glancing over at Luke's parents.
"You took Flora though," I reminded her, "He must be ok with kids."
I felt like she was not telling me the truth.
"Flora's older than you and she spends most of her time out," mom replied, "I had to get off this street, ok? Now stop being dramatic and let me go. I'll be back in a few days."
Why?
"I don't have money," I said.
"You have that part time-"
"I was fired, mom," I said, "I'm broke and I'm seventeen. What am I supposed to do?"
"Here," my mom said, digging into her purse for some cash.
She handed me a few scrunched-up notes and I meekly accepted. I was not above begging. I needed this.
"Why do you keep looking at Mr Dawson?" I asked her.
"That's enough questioning, Millie! You are so suspicious of me and you're determined to make me look like a bad mom. I took care of you when your own dad didn't ok?! You've always idolized him but he's a lowlife piece of sh*t!"
I backed down. Like I said, I didn't want to make a scene.
"Careful!" Jake yelled out suddenly.
In all my mom's anger, she swung open the front door and almost hit the gambler's friend, who was walking by with his saw. He dropped it onto the street and the metal clattered against the concrete next to me. I bent down to pick it up.
"Careful, Millie," Jake repeated from a distance, knowing me well, "There's an old lady walking behind you."
I was careful in handling the saw. My hands wrapped around the grip and I picked it up cautiously, staring at the long blade and its sharp teeth.
Slowly, I whispered to myself as I slowly turned around. One wrong move and I...
I didn't want to think about it.
Jake had said something about an old lady, so I was careful not to make any sudden movements. I looked behind me and saw a woman in a long brown shawl and green skirt shuffling down the street. She had glasses perched on top of her head and a cane that led the way.
She was the old lady who lived at number 34 Dupont Avenue and who used to take care of Winnifred. But when she saw me, her expression changed to terror.
I tried to lower the saw, thinking that might be the reason why she looked terrified.
"YOU AGAIN!" she screamed.
Oh, no.
I glanced over at Luke at the exact same time as he turned towards me. He was across the street, standing next to his family, but I could see his expression so clearly.
He saw me holding a giant saw in front of the angry old lady.
And I saw his lips move: "Not again."
This doesn't look good, I'll admit.
"MURDERER!" the lady screamed at me, waving her cane, "IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO KILL MY CAT, NOW YOU STALK ME DOWN THE STREET! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!"
I couldn't imagine how anyone else was interpreting this.
The old lady inhaled sharply to catch her breath, and in the silence, Jake laughed.
Thrown off guard, the old lady glared at him. Her cane found its new focus.
Jake continued to cackle, "I'm sorry but this situation... is too absurd for me. I..." he doubled over in laughter.
I handed over the saw to the gambler's friend who took it to his pickup truck. I then backed away, off the pavement so she didn't feel any kind of threat from me. Attention moved away from us and the old lady shuffled along, cursing profanities in my general direction.
Jake controlled his laughter.
And in all this commotion, Austin stared down at the clear plastic bag by his feet. "Is no one going to talk about the pound of weed?"
My mom had dropped the breadbasket and the weed had tumbled out, landing in front of him.
**
Curiosity killed the cat.
But if you ask the old lady down the street, I did it.
I watched my mom drive off in her boyfriend's car with his pound of weed. She left behind the broken breadbasket.
And me. She also left me.
Randomly, Chad and his father walked out of the party and into their chauffeur driven car, not even questioning why we were all on the street. Even the gambler's friend drove off in his pick-up truck. It created a little traffic jam on our small street.
I looked back at my house and oddly felt a sense of pride amidst this adversity:
No parents, no lock on the front door and, after the break-in, a broken window also. Now we had a padlock and a boarded-up window but still no parents, though.
Glass was an expensive replacement, and so was an actual lock on the front door. This was the best we could do, and I felt proud we did it.
Luke returned to my side, swinging his arm over my shoulder, and enveloping me in his familiar scent. He squeezed me against him, and the soft fabric of his shirt rubbed the makeup on my face. He kissed the top of my head and told me:
"You're so crazy," his deep voice murmured, "I love you."
My heart skipped a beat hearing him say it like that. His skin against mine was what I needed right now. I wrapped my arms around his waist as well and murmured the same thing into the soft fabric of his shirt, "I love you."
I breathed in that familiar musky scent that most of my stolen sweaters smell like now. I wanted to stay in this position forever.
Austin and Jake approached us, watching my mom drive off into the distance.
"Meet the parents didn't go down too well, did it?" Austin commented, ignoring the intimate moment we were trying to have.
It seemed like everyone watched her leave. Even Luke's parents were staring after my mom's car. And it made me remember what my mom had said.
"Actually," I mumbled, my mind retracing the last few minutes, "That reminds me..."
I had something to say to Mr Dawson.
**
Parents hide things sometimes when they're not hiding themselves. My dad plays such an amazing game of hide & seek, that he's still out there – hiding.
Do I trust my boyfriend's father? Not at all.
And my mother may not be getting a 'mother of the year' award anytime soon, but there was obviously more to the story than she was letting on. Maybe this was my way of holding on to the hope that she didn't just leave for no reason. I wanted there to be a reason. I almost needed there to be.
And all signs were pointing to Mr D.
I walked slowly across the street, my head spinning with the words I wanted to say to him.
I knew Mr D was occupied, and I knew he didn't like me interrupting him. I mean, the guy didn't like me period. But I couldn't shake off the feeling...
It was the way my mom kept looking at him and the way she freaked out when I mentioned his name...
The Dawsons were huddled in an intimate conversation with Luke's coach next to Mrs Dawson's flower display. As I approached them, I overheard:
"I'm worried about Luke," Mrs Dawson said in a hushed voice, "He's overestimating his strength and not being careful with his knee. I spoke to the doctor and-"
"The doctor's just trying to scare you," Jamie's dad replied reassuringly, "Don't worry, your husband and I are taking very good care of Luke. He's done a mighty fine job of balancing the pressure of the game with his health."
Mrs Dawson noticed me first, and stopped talking. The three adults turned around. And I stuttered.
"Is there something else we can help you with, Millie?" Mr Dawson asked.
Else? I wasn't aware there was a something he helped me with in the first place.
"Did you speak to my mom, Mr Dawson?" I asked plainly.
"You saw her get into her car and leave," Mr Dawson answered coldly, "So, no. I didn't. Now please run along-"
"Why do you ask, Millie?" Mrs Dawson interrupted, giving me the benefit of the doubt. She glared at her husband, cautioning him not to interrupt again.
Jamie's dad backed away from the conversation and returned to the party, recognizing that his chat with Luke's parents was likely over. As coach, he was already so involved in Luke's life.
"No reason, other than my mom mentioned it," I lied.
Half lie.
"Either she's mistaken, or you are," Mr Dawson said defensively, looking at his wife instead of me, "I don't have any reason to speak to them. They self-combust every few years."
"I'm standing in front of you, Mr Dawson," I said, "I'd appreciate if you didn't demean my family in front of me."
I tried to keep a cool exterior, but my heart was pumping 10000 miles a minute.
As Luke's girlfriend, I was very focused on leaving a good impression on Mr Dawson. But now, I wasn't speaking as Luke's girlfriend, I was speaking to him as my mom's daughter. He's messing with my family and there was no way I was going to stay quiet.
After confronting my mom, police officers and a f*cking home invader, I've learnt to speak up for myself.
Otherwise, people are going to speak for me – and tell the wrong story.
"I'm not," Mr Dawson chuckled, "You do that to yourselves."
"No worries, I'll uh..." I tried to think of what to say, "My mom's boyfriend is coming over tonight and he wanted to sit down and tell us everything. Obviously, Luke and I were bu-"
"What does Luke have to do with this?" Mr Dawson interrupted me, reacting immediately to the mention of his golden boy.
That's right, I was using his weakness against him.
"He's my boyfriend, Mr Dawson," I feigned innocence, "He's very worried about what made my mom leave me alone. The only reason we haven't had the conversation already is because of Luke's party today. But this evening-"
"Are you threatening me with my own son?" the look that came over Mr Dawson's face filled me with dread.
He looked so coldhearted when he was angry, and I didn't really want to be on the receiving end of what that meant.
"What are you hiding? Just tell her because I can tell you're hiding something," Mrs Dawson snapped at her husband, "You might as well spit it out."
He didn't want to. "I have nothing to hide."
"Alright," I shrugged, "No problem. My mom's boyfriend is already going to spill the beans..."
Another lie.
In case he had threatened my mom into silence, I had to invent someone willing to share the secret. It seems reasonable that my mom would've told the truth to her boyfriend.
I started to walk away, recognizing that I now had to tell Luke everything. I hadn't told him the full extent of my mom's abandonment and my financial problems – I just didn't feel like crying to anybody for help. But now, he needed to know, since his dad was involved.
I could hear Luke's parents arguing between each other until, suddenly, Mr Dawson called me back.
"Fine," he drawled, "I spoke to her."
I turned around, shocked that he admitted it. The look his wife gave him was enough to worry me all over again. She knew her husband's ways and it hadn't been worth lying to her over this.
"W- what did you say?" I asked.
"Before you went to Dubai, Luke... reminded me of your past family problems," he said, and I knew he was talking about calling social services on us when we were kids. "And I realized that things haven't changed much for you."
Did he break into my house? Was he the intruder?
Mrs Dawson and I waited with bated breath. "So?" Mrs Dawson asked, "What did you do?"
"I called your dad."
A/N: There's something so poetic about an 80th chapter that reveals a mystery or two...
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