Zoey
Van led the way through the woods until we were out of hearing from the house. I knew it was more distance than probably necessary, but he'd said he wanted me to be comfortable. He must have forgotten about the part where I might have to strip in front of him. Good thing I'd brought an extra set of clothes with me...
We reached a clearing with a small pond dotted with lotus flowers. Van ran a quick lap to ensure no one had followed us or was hiding out ahead of us. That gave me a minute to think about what was coming next. By the time he got back, I'd wrapped my arms around my waist in a hint of self-preservation.
Van placed his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. "It's going to be all right, Zoey. I'll be right here with you, and I'll talk you thought it. I won't let you hurt yourself."
I forced myself to nod and meet his gaze. "You can't blame me for being nervous after what happened last time."
"Last time," he jumped in as soon as I finished, "I made you feel like you had to shift to be worth anything. This time, you're not proving anything to anyone."
I nodded again, seeing in his eyes that he did regret what he'd said that had driven me to a forced shift. Knowing that he was trying to make up for it now and that he'd coached lots of albeit younger wolves before, I wasn't terrified of trying to shift again. He'd stop me if he thought I was in danger of hurting myself.
"We'll go as slow as you need, but slower shifts often are more painful. It'll be up to you to determine how much pain you endure."
"It can't be more painful than last time," I reminded him, "so I think I'll be fine."
He nodded and took a step back. "I'm assuming that your backpack has extra clothes because you don't intend to..."
"... to completely strip in front of you?" I finished for him when he hesitated. "You'd be correct. It may be completely normal for you, but I haven't been around anyone shifting in years. Pardon me for being a bit prudish."
"As long as you're at east, I don't care what you do. I'd rather have you shred an outfit than hurt yourself because you're uncomfortable."
I set the backpack I'd brought at the base of a tree and slipped my shoes off. I'd at least planned a little, so I'd put on a sports bra and short exercise shorts earlier. It would provide me a little modesty without interfering with the shift.
Van kept his mouth shut and gaze politely diverted as I squirmed out of my outer clothes and neatly arranged them by my backpack. I pulled a blanket out and spread it over all of my stuff. There would be a few seconds after I shifted when I wouldn't have the coverage I did now, so I'd try to get Van to cover me before I finished shifting back... if I made it that far.
"I supposed I'll have to face this sooner or later," I sighed, turning away from my backpack. "No matter how this goes, thank you in advance for your guidance."
Van crossed his arms and leaned against a nearby tree. "You sound like you expect to fail. That attitude won't help you. If you're doubtful, it will only hurt more."
"Are you trying to scare me out of doing this?" I moaned. "If that's your goal, you are very close to succeeding."
"I'm sorry," he blurted out, leaping forward as I reached for the blanket. "I'm trying to get you in the right frame of mind. Most people are excited – eager – to shift, so they're already in a positive mood. With you..."
"Then help me think of the positive! Like... conquering this is one step closer to being a normal wolf again. I'll be stronger afterwards. I'll have greater self-confidence once I do this."
"Sounds like you're already telling yourself all those things. But if it helps, I do believe you can do this. And do it well. You've proven to us that you know how to tough it out. You're stronger than you think."
I let that little pep talk sink into my mind, boosting my attitude and prepping me for what was to come. If he truly believed that I could shift—and be fine afterwards—then I was ready. Yes, it was still going to hurt; but maybe I could muscle through the pain faster. I'd survived 8 years with Jax. This couldn't be as bad as that.
"Okay..." I groaned, sinking to my knees. "Let's do this."
Van crouched in front of me and placed a finger under my chin to make me look up at him. "I'm here if you need me; but I believe that you know what to do. Take a deep breath and focus on the shift. There's no rush. The goal is to shift without harming yourself."
I nodded, committing that thought to memory. No one was chasing me, so I could take all the time that I needed.
Are you ready? I asked my wolf. Are we doing this together?
I felt her purr as she came forward. Yes. I'm ready this time. It won't hurt us since we're both committed to the shift.
I'm glad that you're going to be able to come out, I told her. You've been imprisoned for far too long.
It wasn't your fault, she shrugged. It's not like you wanted to keep me out of the way. You had your reasons, which I fully understood and supported.
But still...
Zoey, she scoffed. We're all good. Let's shift, okay?
Yes! Let's do this.
I looked up at Van one more time—just to get a little boost of encouragement—before closing my eyes. Unlike the last time, I visualized everything as it happened. Nails morphed into claws. Fur sprouted through my skin. My jaw and nose stretched forward. Ears lengthened and pointed. With each transition, my wolf came forward more and gained a stronger footing on the ground. Little by little, we swapped places until she was the body and I was the voice in her head.
Van
Despite the prior traumatic experience, Zoey seemed to be working in perfect harmony with her wolf. It wasn't the fastest shift he'd seen, but it was definitely one of the smoothest.
She choked back a cry when her shoulders and knees wrenched into alignment. He rocked forward on the balls of his feet but stopped himself short of touching her as she shuddered through it. Before too long, a gorgeous mid-sized wolf shook out her glossy brown fur and blinked blue-gray eyes at him. She quivered a little as she stood there, probably because she hadn't stood on her own four paws in years.
"Hi," he murmured, sticking out a hand for her to sniff. "It's good to finally meet you."
Zoey's wolf nuzzled his palm for a moment before lowering her head to let him pet her. He couldn't hear her through the mindlink, but they'd work on that later. For now, her physical presence was a victory.
"I know it's been a while... Can you walk?"
She made a little huff as if he'd offended her, but the spark in her eyes died as she took a wobbly step forward.
"Take your time," he encouraged her. "No rush."
She shook her head briefly and set her shoulders. One paw at a time, she made a slow circle around him... and then another. By the third lap, she'd found a normal walking gait that didn't seem to pain her. Her eyes sparkled at the accomplishment.
"Do you want to stay like this for a while, or do you want to shift back?"
She cocked her head and started pacing. He guessed that she was talking to Zoey and/or evaluating her physical strength to continue. As exciting as it was to be freed, newly shifted wolves burned out fast and could injure themselves if they pushed themselves too hard too fast. Now that she knew she could shift, he hoped Zoey's wolf would be willing to take the slow-and-steady road back to health.
The brown wolf paused beside Zoey's backpack and gently grabbed the blanket in her mouth. When she carried it over to him and dropped it in his lap, he knew that she was going to shift back... and that Zoey wanted him to cover her when she was mostly back into human form.
"Whatever you did during the first shift, it was perfect. Do that again, and your shift back should be just as smooth.
She nodded slowly and closed her eyes.
No matter how many times he saw it, the shifting process still fascinated him. Most wolves fully shifted in a few seconds, so fast you could easily miss it. Since Zoey was taking her time, he could watch and see each part as she morphed from wolf back to woman. He was so mesmerized by the process that he was startled by her wolfish voice.
"Van... Blanket."
"Sorry!" He flinched and held out the blanket seconds before she collapsed against him. He wrapped the blanket tightly around her and held her quivering body against his chest.
"I'd forgotten what a blood rush that is," she whispered as a shudder went through her.
"You did really well, Zoey. Truly... that was great, considering that you haven't shifted in years."
She drew a deep breath and let it out again. "How does the saying go? 'It's just like riding a bike'? I still remember how it goes. Thankfully my wolf did most of the work."
He hugged her a bit tighter and rested his chin on top of her head. "How are you feeling?"
"...jelly-legged like a first-time shifter," she sighed. "But I know that it gets better with each shift, so I can handle feeling weak for now."
"Do you need me to carry you back?" His wolf purred a little at the idea.
"I'll be fine," she countered. "Just give me a couple minutes."
They sat on the ground in silence for a while. Van glanced down at her a couple times to make sure she hadn't fallen asleep. His wolf made note that her hair color was very similar to that of her wolf's fur. It was a good observation, and Van let it pass without further consideration.
After a few minutes, Zoey squirmed out of his hold and made her way over to her backpack, keeping the blanket tight around her shoulders. He politely turned away to give her the privacy she wanted. He heard her elevated heartrate as she dressed as quickly as possible under the blanket. Most women in the pack flaunted their post-shift bodies; women in the military didn't care. Having someone on the opposite end of the spectrum—someone more traditional and modest—was a refreshing change. Yet, Zoey wasn't a prude either. She'd faced him in a sports bra and tiny shorts before her shift like they'd done it before.
"Thanks for turning around," she murmured behind him.
He glanced over his shoulder before turning to face her. She was back in a pair of joggers and the jacket she'd worn before. Besides a light flush in her cheeks, no one would guess that she'd recently shifted. A light air of strength floated around her and tickled his wolf. Some might call it an enticement tactic, but he knew it was her natural reaction to having accomplished a shift. She was sweetly innocent, and it stirred something in him that he didn't want to admit.
"You're incredible, you know."
Her eyes widened, as did his. The statement had come out of his mouth before he'd fully processed what he was saying. His wolf was smugly watching from the side, so it wasn't him. For the first time in years, a deeply subconscious thought had been voiced.
"Thanks," Zoey stuttered, shouldering her backpack and watching him with those big eyes of hers. "Thanks for helping me through this, Van. I don't think I could have braved a second shift on my own."
He smiled and held out a hand, silently asking her to take it. "Happy to help you. I'd say we crossed a big barrier today, both in terms of your healing and our friendship."
She stretched out her hand to take his, but left it hovering just above. "Is that what you want? To be friends?"
I wouldn't mind something more than that, his wolf hummed.
Van shoved the beast back. "Yes, Zoey. I'd like to be friends."
She let her hand finish its descent into his. Giving it a little squeeze, she drew a deep breath and smiled back at him.
"Okay. Friends it is."